The plot bunnies made me do it. But here's a little tidbit while you're waiting for me to post a new chapter on my actual fanfic.
You, Miss, Are Playing a Dangerous Game
It was a perfectly normal day. As normal as it could get for Alphonse Elric. Right now, he was poring over a novel and happily sitting in the sun. His friend Winry was tinkering on a new piece of machinery to keep her hands busy. Edward, Al's older brother, was off giving a report to Colonel Mustang at the command center.
But that left EJ Samuels, who was currently hanging off the couch, upside down, with her long auburn hair pooling on the floor underneath her. Her shirt had slid up so they edge of her shiny metal stomach cover was showing, and the blood was beginning to rush to her head.
She let out an aggravated sigh and kicked her legs back and forth.
"What's the matter with you?" Winry asked, looking up from her project. EJ sat up and waited for the blood to resume its normal path through her body.
"I, for one, am starting to get bored. And boredom is up something of which I will not put!" She announced dramatically. "It seems like I always get left behind when Ed goes to do stuff at the command center; gives me way too much time to think of really crazy and possibly suicidal ideas."
"How is this one suicidal?" Al questioned worriedly.
"Because it involves rope, Ed, a chair, and a certain dairy product you have to shove down our favorite blonde's throat to get him to drink it." EJ smiled evilly. Winry and Al exchanged glances, but then Winry got that same evil smile on her face and turned back to EJ.
"What did you have in mind?"
"So we're all clear on the plan, right?" EJ questioned about an hour later. Ed was coming back any minute now, and EJ and Winry were prepared down to the last millisecond. Al had reluctantly joined in because he knew how much Ed needed to actually drink his milk.
"Yeah; anything else we need to do?" Winry wondered from her position.
"Just give me enough time to get down the stairs and out the door, and hopefully into the streets before you let him go, okay?" EJ was currently wrestling with the lid of a bottle of milk, and it came off with a satisfying pop.
Footsteps in the hallway alerted the conspiring trio to the presence of one exhausted Edward Elric. He rubbed his human hand over his face and was about to announce his presence when someone grabbed him from behind, someone he recognized as Alphonse.
"Al, what are you-?"
"I'm sorry about this, Brother." He apologized before hoisting his older brother into the air. Ed protested and struggled all the way to their destination where he was then (none too gently) shoved into a chair and strapped to it in such a way that he couldn't put his hands together to transmute.
"What the he** is going on here?" Ed demanded.
"You getting ready to learn your lesson." EJ stepped into the light, holding something behind her back. The look on her face bore a freaky resemblance to a Homunculus' cruel smile, and Ed swallowed.
"A good rule to live by: don't let me get bored. I come up with stuff like this." EJ snapped her fingers and Al was suddenly forcing his jaw open while Winry pinched his nose. "And it's for your own good, my friend."
EJ pulled a bottle of something out from behind her back and pressed into Ed's mouth. Having no choice but to swallow or choke, Ed gulped down the first few mouthfuls when he realized exactly what EJ was shoving down his throat.
"Can we let him go yet?" Winry asked. EJ shook her head; she was enjoying this way too much.
"He has to drink the whole bottle: every. Last. Drop."
Ed thrashed as much as he could with his movements restricted the way they were, but it was over soon and he sat there, shocked that EJ would pull something like this.
The sound of a creaking door and rapid footsteps shook Ed out of his shock and he twisted a little more violently in the chair.
"Is she outside yet?" Al asked from his left.
"Yep; there she goes: screaming her little red head off." Winry answered from the window. Ed finally just shoved the ropes up and over his head and soon was racing out the door and after EJ, screaming: "I'M GONNA KILL YOU, SAMUELS! I SWEAR THIS TIME!"
Al and Winry simply watched the blonde and the redhead get tangled up outside. The blonde mechanic sighed and turned to the suit of armor.
"What are we gonna do with them?" She asked, smiling. Al just shrugged.