Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Sadly.

Dance portions of auditions were always the worst for Rachel. She could sing with the best of them, and act her way from here to California, but the only thing that was holding her back was she was no ballerina. And she had a feeling that this dance audition was going to be one of her worst.

Chicago, Illinois, spring of 2019, a now 25 year old Rachel Berry is stretching and praying to God that she can make it through this dance without making a complete fool of herself, again. This is her fifth audition this month, and she has succeeded in somehow falling, tripping or pushing another actor at all of her auditions thus far. Ten years ago Rachel would have never thought that she would have any trouble making a name for herself in the Broadway world, but if only 15 year old Rachel knew that there were 500 other girls who sang just as well as she did auditioning as well. These girls were just as ambitious, just as cutthroat as she is. Ohio seems a million light years away after all this time struggling.

Sure Rachel made it into Cincinnati Conservatory without a problem, and made it through all the cuts and competition there, but that didn't prepare her for this. Three years of small bit parts in off Broadway shows, she hadn't sung a solo in her professional career. This is not where she thought that she would be at 25. Not at all.

But in a practice space for the Cadillac Palace Theatre, Rachel Berry stood with a hundred other girls stretching her legs when she turned towards the door. The choreographer just walked in, and all of the eyes in the room turned to look at him. Following him in were a slew of male actors, and Rachel could only guess what was going to be coming next.

"Partner dancing…"

"Oh isn't he yummy…"

"Look at that one Mandy, did you see his ass?"

The other girls were giggling to one another, more than excited that the men had come to join them. Rachel took a deep breath and faced the heavens, with a look of relief. All her years in ballroom that her dads made her take when she was a little girl was finally going to pay off. As long as she had a somewhat capable partner. She took an inventory of the men that were entering the room, she needed one that wasn't too tall, but yet had enough muscle that she didn't have to worry if there were any lifts. Her thoughts were swirling when the choreographer started to speak, "Now so that we don't waste any time, boys find the girl with the same audition number as yourself and the girls without partners move to the back, there will have to be two groups as we don't have as many men auditioning."

"As always…" thought Rachel. She sometimes wished that theatre held more sway for men, maybe then the competition wouldn't be so fierce for the women. A strong, tall black man walked up to her. "Teron," he said, holding his hand out to her.

"Rachel, nice to meet you." Rachel looked at her new dance partner. He seemed to have desirable qualities in a partner from appearance, but she knew that didn't mean he didn't have two left feet.

The choreographer and his partner took a few moments to show the complicated steps and lifts that were going to be required by the auditioners. When it came to doing them herself, Rachel was nervous, but quickly learned her partner was a strong lead, and she had nothing to worry about. He threw her in the air as if she was as light as a feather, an idea that both was exhilarating and terrifying for Rachel. Only once during their nearly hour of practice did he drop her, which considering the complexity of the dance, was much better than her fellow actresses. A blonde southern girl next to Rachel was dropped nearly fifteen times before she stomped on her partner's foot and yelled frantically at him for five minutes.

"Into the theatre, everyone! Partners 1-25 please come onto the stage and get ready, everyone else to the wings!" The stage manager called. Rachel and Teron grabbed their bags and hurried into the space. Rachel in her frantic hurry knocked into a man on her way to the stage, but didn't bother to look at him, as she was number 12, she had to get to the stage.

He on the other hand, got a good look at her, and was surprised to see that he knew the small woman that pushed into him. Jesse St. James waited for her to turn around and say something, even a small 'sorry', but she did no such thing. He couldn't be completely sure that he was seeing the girl from Lima, Ohio who opened his world from its isolation of being a star.

As his audition number was much later, he took his time to gather his things and enter the theatre, but arrived just in time to watch the first group perform the dance. Looking for her in the crowd of dancers he still wasn't sure that the dark haired woman who knocked into him was the same girl from high school, but when her African-American partner threw her high into the air he was sure by the look of fear on her face. "She never did trust her dance partners," he thought to himself as he stared at her. He wondered if he should say anything at all to Rachel, when he realized that in her hurry she accidently dropped her cellphone into his open bag.

Her audition was over and she was being brought to the other side of the stage, Jesse started to panic. She would want her cell, and he didn't know how he was going to get it to her if she left quickly. He muttered a few words to his partner, a fairly temperamental redheaded girl, and ran after her.

"Rachel! Rachel!" He yelled as he finally caught up to her in the lobby of the theatre. She spun around and he saw her look directly at him. She didn't seem to recognize him as easily as he did with her, as it took her a few moments to register what was going on.

"How do you know my name?" she asked.

Jesse held up the small pink phone that was in his hand. "You dropped this in my bag when you ran into me earlier," he explained, "You don't know who I am… wow… I would have figured my face would be burned into your memory so you would remember to castrate me the next time you saw me…" Jesse chuckled at the threat that Rachel had given him at Regionals all those years ago.

"You would be surprised how many men I have used that threat on, I can't seem to remember them all. Thank you for the phone, man I'd like to castrate." Rachel laughed quietly and grabbed her phone from his hand. She looked again at him when finally she placed the name to the face. Jesse St. James, her first boyfriend, stole her virginity and the secrets of her glee club to make sure that New Directions, her group had no chance at making it to Nationals. "Jesse," she said quietly.

"Yes. Actually I have to go audition still, but if you stay here, I will allow you to kick me in the balls and possibly buy you some coffee?" Jesse left in a hurry and Rachel was left speechless.

She couldn't really decide what to do. Sure, she did really have anything else to do, she didn't know Chicago that well, and was just staying at a hotel a few blocks away, but it was Jesse. The same Jesse, who she hadn't seen since he broke her heart and her team apart, then ran off to UCLA with the trophy for Nationals. It had been almost ten years, so she figured that maybe 28 year old Jesse might be able to explain what had happened to 16 year old Rachel. So she waited it out, and wondered if he was serious about actually talking to her.

An hour passed before he walked back into the lobby, a redheaded woman was chatting him up, trying to get him to ask her out. Rachel had to hold in the urge to laugh because she knew that he wasn't interested. So she did what any decent human being would do, humiliate the poor girl to free Jesse from the torture.

"Jesse, baby, you didn't tell me you were going to be this late, we are going to be late for dinner with my parents, and you know how my mother gets when we're late! Honey we have to get going!" Rachel calls out to him. He turns and gives a small thumbs up that the other girl can't see because she is too busy turning a shade of deep red.

"Darling, I know, she is quite awful when we're late. We will have to pick up some red wine on the way to make up for it," Jesse replies, then turns to the other woman, "you were great out there, good luck with the rest of the audition!" He grabs Rachel's arm and they walk out of the lobby with his arm around Rachel's waist.

"Thank you for the save, you would not believe how often that happens… not to be arrogant or anything, but when they find out that you're straight those girls cling like saran-wrap," Jesse said to Rachel as they got around the block.

"Yeah, I bet they do…" Rachel muttered as she thought of all the times that she had done the exact same thing at an audition. There was just something that happens when you hear a man sing, Rachel knew that it was almost impossible to resist, and over the years gotten her into a fair share of sticky situations.

"I know that face… You've hit on a guy at an audition! It's good to know that your faces haven't changed after all this time. That the same look you gave me when… well, never mind that was a long time ago, no need to bring that up again," Jesse stammered out. He knew that she knew exactly the time that he was talking about, and knowing her obsessive nature knew that she probably still felt awful about it. "My favorite coffee shop isn't too far from here; we should take the next left."

The two walked to the coffee shop and the woman at the counter smiled at Jesse when he entered, Rachel figured he must be a regular. They walked up to the counter and she looked at the boards listing all the drinks they served written in brightly colored chalk. She fell in love with the place as soon as she stepped in. The walls were a deep red and the chairs were large and looked as if a person could be swallowed into it, in a deep brown color. Everything felt home like and comfortable, and reminded her of a place she loved when she was in San Diego. "I'll have Tessa's Turtle… medium please, but with an extra shot of espresso."

Jesse raised his eyebrows, surprised that Rachel was now in need of an extra shot in her coffee, last time they went out for coffee she still didn't drink caffeine because it made her more hyper than she was naturally. It was that moment that he realized that he was dealing with a stranger, really. The Rachel he knew was 16 years old, a ball of energy who knew she was going to be a star, and no one was going to get in the way of that. This woman in front of him was a struggling actress, completely mature and her smile was less frequent than it was all those years ago. He wondered what happened to make that million dollar smile hide in the darkness.

Rachel started fiddling in her bag, obviously trying to find her wallet in her gym bag. "Rachel, don't worry about this. I invited you, I pay for you," Jesse stepped forward and ordered his favorite 'The Polar Espresso', a white mocha drink with a little vanilla thrown in. He paid and led Rachel to two large armchairs near the window while they waited for the drinks to be made. "So do you live in Chicago these days?" he asked trying to make conversation with the first girl he had ever really loved.

Yes he did love her. Always did. He joined New Directions for her, he wasn't lying. The events of that year, the betrayal, his transfer back to Vocal Adrenaline, all of that was never planned, but done out of anger. He fell hard for Rachel, loved her ambition and the fact that she was still innocent, and hadn't seen the cruelty of the theatre world. He heard rumor that she had been with Puck on the side, and without thinking ran. Didn't ask her side, just went back to his second mother, Shelby.

"I am here for a few auditions, but if I get a job I'd stay here. I've been in New York the last few years, that's where my apartment is, but I've been all over auditioning. Becoming a star wasn't as easy as I thought that it would be…" Rachel dropped the end of her sentence, knowing that Jesse didn't want to sit and hear all her struggles. "What have you been up to? You went to UCLA, right?"

"Drinks up!" called the barista from behind the counter.

Jesse got up to grab the coffees, then turned to Rachel and said, "Yeah, like you forgot," he laughed. He remembered his little obsession that he had with telling everyone and anyone that he was going to LA for school. He could hear Rachel laugh softly as he walked away. Her laugh wasn't the same; she used to laugh so heartily it filled him with joy.

Once he returned he told her the story of his days at UCLA, where he learned that maybe it wasn't the best place to go for a musical theatre degree. After his days there, he told her, he did a few bit parts on TV shows, often as a patient in a medical drama or a victim on a crime show. She laughed at the idea of him getting roles as a dead guy, although she knew that she hadn't done much better for herself.

"What about you? Where did you go to school, what have you been doing since?" Jesse asked.

"I went to CCM, it was cutthroat, and they cut my best friend after our first year because she had gotten vocal nodes. After that I started to realize that maybe it wasn't going to be as easy as walking into an audition and leaving with a part as I thought it was. Since then I did a short run on an off-broadway musical on the life of Jackie-O, and that ended last summer so I have been auditioning since," Rachel explained. Jesse nodded during her story, knowing full well the struggles that she had seen.

"How did today's audition go for you, if I may ask?" he asked her.

"It was the first one this month where I left not feeling like a complete idiot, so that's something," she smiled. The feeling he used to get when she smiled was still there, after all these years. It scared him, knowing full well the issues that might arise from falling in love all over again.

"I've been there. I have been working for a theatre not too far from here managing, but I really need to get back on the stage. I have been auditioning all over this city. I really love it here, even the winters, so I want to stay. We'll see," Jesse said.

The two spent the rest of the afternoon chatting about what happened to them since they last saw each other. They both danced around what ended their relationship, and the pain that they both felt because of it. Jesse had a feeling that there were other things that she wasn't talking about, he still didn't know how she became as serious as she was now.

"What happened? You don't laugh like you used to, and I haven't seen your full smile all afternoon. Can I ask what happened to you?" Jesse felt bad asking, but he had to know what happened to the talkative hyper girl that he occasionally still saw in his dreams.

"Life happened. The last time you saw me I was heartbroken because the man that I thought loved me ran off because of a rumor and betrayed my team so that he could win nationals," she snapped. "Since then I have faced a lot of hard times. One of my dads died, I learned that being a Broadway star wasn't everything that I thought it would be, I had to toughen up to survive," she paused, "But what was the topper on the cake? I walked in on my fiancée and his best friend weeks before our wedding. Kinda ruins my ability to trust anyone."

Jesse's jaw dropped. It all made sense now, she was a broken woman. He didn't know how to respond. So he did what anyone in an awkward situation would do. "His best friend was a girl, right?"

A small smile crept onto her face, "yes she was."

Jesse looked at the large clock on the wall, it was 4:36pm. "Oh crap, I need to be at work in like twenty minutes. How long are you here for?"

"I have a couple more auditions in the next week and then whatever callbacks… I am staying at the Hilton here downtown. I know, struggling artist at the most beautiful hotel in the city, but my dad is paying for it."

"Would you care to get some drinks this weekend?" Jesse asked. A slight blush rose to her cheeks, and for just a moment she was the same girl she was all those years ago. "Write down your number, I'll call you."

"So then she looked at me, as serious as a girl can look after three long islands and said, 'Jesse you are one fine piece of ass and I want you in me' and she threw up all over me. It was disgusting, your turn, funniest hit-on story."

"Ew. That is one of the worst I have ever heard! I can't believe that really happened," Rachel laughed. Going out for drinks was exactly what Rachel needed. She was sick of sitting around in hotel rooms on weekends because she didn't know the city she was staying in. Being around Jesse again was weird at first, but he had really grown up since he stomped all over her heart. His need to brag about himself was gone, and he was hardly arrogant. The competitive nature of his career choice had gotten to him and taught him that everything comes naturally. "Okay so senior year of high school, Mike Chang comes back from college acting like a hot shot, right? So he waltzes into the choir room after school walks straight up to me, bends over and whispers in my ear, 'It's not true what they say about Asians'. I said, 'I have no idea what you are talking about' because although I wasn't completely innocent I really didn't know what he was saying. 'Let me come over tonight and I'll explain everything, and show you things you've never even thought of.'" Jesse started laughing, thinking of the somewhat quiet cool guy from high school. "So I ran up to Tina, who now was actually my good friend and was also Asian, so I figured she knew what he meant and asked what he possibly could have meant. She told me the truth, I walked over to where Mike was telling Puck of his escapades in college, tapped him on the shoulder and slapped him in the face."

Rachel laughed the laugh that Jesse had thought was gone forever. A laugh that made her whole body sway on the barstool and he had to catch her before she fell off of it. Holding her by her shoulders she looked up into his eyes and everything was silent. The loud hip bar was gone, and the only thing they saw was each other. He started to lean in before he realized what he was doing, but jerked his head back quickly, hoping she hadn't noticed.

She had. There was something in that charged moment that made her remember why she fell for him back in the music store in Lima, Ohio. The fact that once he held her gaze, she found it almost impossible to look away. Some things never change, and her eyes were unable to look away from his lips that he just licked quickly in nervousness. She bit her bottom lip, still focused completely on those lips.

"What ever happened to everyone from Lima?" Jesse asked. He was doing everything he could not to make a move on Rachel, but the way she was biting her lip was becoming too much for him that he shouted out the first thing that came to his head that wasn't about things he wanted to do to her.

This was a sore subject for Rachel. New Directions usually was something that she was more than glad to talk to people about, but this was Jesse, and although New Directions beat Vocal Adrenaline the next year, she still remembers what happened her sophomore year. "And why do you think you have any right to know about them? After what you did to us…" Rachel snapped. She didn't mean to be so harsh with him, but emotions were running more than a little high.

"You want the truth?" Jesse asked, his voice rising with anger. "I did what I did because I was scared. After I heard about the time that Puck sang Sweet Caroline to you and you two did whatever, I was always scared and jealous of him. Because I loved you and nothing scared me more than to lose you to him. He was attractive, he was the bad boy, and I knew that I wouldn't stand up to him. So when Quinn told me that Puck was going to your house every night after I left, I freaked. I ran back to Caramel and told Ms. Corcoran everything she wanted to hear. When I found out it wasn't true, you didn't want anything to do with me. Your Dad, I mean Joe, told me not to come back and made some pretty convincing threats that made me know to stay out of your life. I was miserable and heartbroken for a long time. That's the truth. I always loved you, whatever you were told about how I was only dating you to win Regionals is bullshit. I loved you, and when you smile I know that I still love you. There, that's all." Jesse stood up from the bar placed a twenty on the table to pay for their drinks and walked out, never looking back.

It took a few minutes for it all to soak in, Rachel sat at the bar shell shocked. All of the things that she thought were true about what had happened… They weren't true. She now knew the whole truth, and it was a lot to handle. She cried. She sat at the bar and cried.

After what felt like an hour of crying she stood up, grabbed her red coat and walked out into the night.