Pretty Princess

Warnings: au, crossdressing, m/m, bad jokes, impending silliness

Ha! I've been lurking around reading slash long enough to know the word for this.

Crack.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar the Last Airbender.

There was a school that stretched for miles, practically gleaming in the late morning sunlight and a work of architecture that would cause finer, less panicked minds than Sokka's to gape in awe and admiration. All he did was pout, large blue eyes roaming up and down the tall buildings that littered the campus and feet trudging up the walkway made of mosaic stones. He had a cellphone pressed against the side of his face so as to listen and then inevitably tune out his sister babbling about how lucky he was, considering the other possible consequences.

"Bla bladiddy-blah is so much blah prestigous than juvie! Sokka, you should be blah blah blah, no, delighted that blah blah let you blah blah bladiddy-do-blah. Blah good fortune! Anyblah, you'll make lots blah blah. You blah blah miss Hawky!"

Wait. He blinked his eyes hard and sluggish, thinking intently on what she'd just said to him. Something about fortune (and why was she going on about cookies in his time of crisis?) and missing...Hawky...

"Katara, you monster!" he shrieked and didn't bother to hide the accusatory note as he climbed up the steps to the grand front entrance. "Why isn't Hawky arriving next week? As scheduled!"

He pushed the school doors open with more forced than he intended, stepping into the empty hallway. Evidently, the interior of the school was just as ostentatious and aesthetically pleasing as the exterior. If Sokka had any interest in such things, he would have noticed these not-quite subtle details, such as the hardwood mahogany flooring and steel lockers decorated with marble. He did, nevertheless, know nice when he saw it and thanked whatever gods and/or ancestors listening that his dad was a congenial man with friends in high places. Even if he would never admit outloud how incredibly relieved he really was.

Katara's voice knocked him out of his grateful musings. "Because, Sokka, it's a boarding school, and they don't allow pets there." She sighed, feigning exasperation like she always did.

"So?"he distractedly said, eying the pristine white walls with mistrust.

She groaned.

"Listen, bro, just suck it up and go to your class. It's not my fault you got kicked out for throwing a boomerang at one of the teachers. I mean, that's considered assault in most places."

He pouted even if she couldn't see him and ignored the man walking up to him, "Well, you're a poo-head and he deserved it."

"Wow, Sokka, you're such a potty mouth." She drawled sarcastically and he hung up on her, sticking a tongue out at the phone.

Immature, yes. Satisfying? Vaguely.

"Excuse me."

He glanced up, shoving the phone into his front pocket and stared back blankly at the faintly creepy man. "Um, Hello?"

"You're the new student, yes?" He stroked his small, devious goatee and Sokka nodded suspiciously, feeling like a character in a bad black and white film. "I'm supposed to give you a tour of the school, but I don't much feel like it so instead, I'll drop you off at your class and Haru, Azulon and the student council will deal with you." He nodded to himself, pleased with the decision as he turned, walking down the hallway, and Sokka couldn't help but share the sentiment of relief.

They walked silently, mostly, except for Sokka's angry muttering under his breath, until they finally stopped in front of a door that the man pulled open for Sokka, escaping as soon as he stepped into the noisy classroom, that quieted as soon as he entered. He swallowed hard without wanting to, his squirm increasing the longer the large classroom full of teenage boys as a whole zeroed their laser-stares on him.

"Um," he muttered, "I'm the new student."

He reached into his pocket for the letter he'd stuffed in their before he left his new dorm room that morning.

"Of course, the school's been buzzing about you." The gray bearded man said casually, still writing on the board. "I'm Piando. You can take the empty seat by Haru."

Buzzing about him?—Oh, he inwardly smirked while walking to the only empty seat in the classroom—they must have heard colorful stories of his epic battle with the Mean Algebra Teacher and been suitably impressed. He sat in his designated place and glanced to the boys on either side. He didn't recognize anyone even a little having just snuck in around the ungodly hour of 5 in the morning. By the time he'd gotten up to be late for school, his roommate who'd been out cold when Both of them were staring at him, but the girlish one to his left was the first to speak.

"Hi, my name's Haru. You'll be meeting the student council after this and our next class." The brunette said, pushing a side bang out from in front of his green eyes.

"What about third period?" Sokka asked dubiously, folding his arms on the table in a way that mimicked the other boy and glanced at the other. Come to think of it, they bother were pretty, well um, pretty. Weird.

"Um, the teacher will understand." The boy smiled but then frowned as he thought over Sokka's odd question. Hesitantly, he asked, "You do know why you're here, right?"

"I threw a boomerang at my math teacher. He was a dick. King dick," he added having misread Haru's incredulous look.

Sokka's eyebrows drew together when the other boy's shoulders drooped at Sokka's blatant ignorance, "Well, this'll be fun."

He sighed ruefully.

"Um..."

Before Sokka could finish his question, the bell rang and Haru grabbed him by the arm after he threw the backpack over his shoulders.

"C'mon, we don't want to be late."

"I'll kill you."

Those were the first words that Sokka heard when he stepped into the door after Haru. Several students were sprawled in desks haphazardly threwn across an evidently unused classroom, as shown by the grafiti of obscenities and bad doodles scratched across the walls and whiteboard. A sharp-faced boy was glaring at everyone else in the room and Sokka recognized him as the boy from his first class who'd been pretty laconic for the duration of their two minute meeting. Now he was simply livid. If looks could kill...Well, Sokka worried for his own well being at the bloody murder that teemed off of the slimmer almost-man. The boy in the center of the front row only gave him a small, almost sadistic smile while Haru guided Sokka to sit in one of the three chairs by the other boy, Haru sitting in the middle of them.

"Azulon-san, you and I both know you can't kill us."

To his surprise, thehe scar faced boy on Sadisleft snorted, "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Jian."

He's hot, Sokka thought, considered repressing it and then, I'm secure enough in my sexuality to admit it. Azulon's pretty cute too.

"Hi, I'm Ruon-Jian." He said, smile growing and Sokka smiled back, not noticing the gleeful malice. "The President of student council, this loser is Zuko—Azulon's older brother—and Vice President. This is Chan, the other Vice President," this last part said with an unusual amount of affection.

The pony-tailed boy was too involved in trying to catch his reflection in one of the large windows to do more than grunt.

The bald, tattooed boy sitting behind Zuko finally burst, yelling excitedly. "I'm Aang, the Secretary!" He bounced, waving happily at Sokka and pointing at the scowling boy besides him, "And that's Hahn—the treasurer! You'll make a great princess, Sokka."

Zuko turned around, smacking the smaller boy upside the head before turning back to them so fast Sokka almost didn't see it, but he did hear what Aang said.

"Wait a minute, what'd he just say?" Sokka asked and Ruon-Jian smirked.

Zuko groaned, running a hand through his messy brown hair. "It's this retarded tradition at the school." When no one butted in to explain, he sighed with disgust. It reminded Sokka of Katara and made him more than a little homesick. "All girly boys are gathered together and put in drag for special occasions so the rest of the student body can get off on it."

Aang blinked at him and then wrinkled his nose. "You make it sound so dirty."

The older boy just stared at Sokka, waiting for a response.

Unfortunately, Ruon-Jian quickly said just before Sokka could open his mouth and protest, "Of course, there are benefits and compensation. Your tuition until graduation will be fully paid for, your college scholarships will be tripled whatever their original amount was, a cash reward will of course be given to you along with," he added smoothly when Sokka didn't look completely convinced, "a lifetime supply of meat."

Sokka froze, "Meat?"

"Yeah," He grinned, "All the meat, boomerangs, and bon-bons you could ever want."

"It's a—"

Azulon cut in, leaning over Haru and grabbing Sokka by his collar, jerking him around. "Don't do it. It's not worth it."

Had it been any other moment, Sokka might have listened to reason, but he was in a world of meat, boomerangs, and chocolate bon-bons, and pushed Azulon away without a second thought to what the other had to say, "It's a deal!"

Ruon-Jian cackled menacingly, and Zuko and Chan leaned away from him as calmly as one could when one's president was getting his evil on.

"Um," Hahn spoke for the first time, clearly uncomfortable. Poor guy looked like he loathed the meeting just as much as Azulon or, at least, nearly as much. "Isn't there, uh, more or something?"

"Yeah," Chan agreed, clearly disinterested, "it was what Azulon and Ruon were arguing about."

"I'd rather eat Zuko's gym socks before I wore Lolita clothing!" Azulon shrieked, standing up and lunging for the smiling Jian, but Haru was too fast and quickly pulled him back.

"But it's perfect," Aang enthused. "You're the punk Lolita, Haru's sweet Lolita, and Sokka's princess Lolita!"

"Besides," Ruon-Jian finally stopped smiling for a moment, "you have no right to complain, you impertinent little bitch. When I was a princess, the designer was into renaissance. We wore corsets that were too tight. One of the other boys internally bled from it, come to think of it. Wooden frames underneath our skirts that hit and bruised our legs..." An angry smile etched itself onto his face as his voice trailed off. "I suffered, and so will you. All of you."

And suddenly, Sokka wasn't entirely sure that boomerangs and treats were worth it. He was only partially sure.

"Ugh, yeah, Aang'll take you to Lily's for fittings." Hahn muttered, breaking the frightening atmosphere, and Aang nodded anxiously, jumping up from his chair and landing in front of the three boys.

"C'mon, you'll like Lily. She has pretty flowers." Aang chirped and Sokka nodded, his mind slowly processing the Lolita.

Maybe he shouldn't have said yes.

Haru twirled around in his frilly dress as he walked out of the dressing room, seemingly unfazed by the large bows and tight top. Sokka was grimacing on a tabletop, biting his lip at the memory of the wax Lily had administered to his legs and armpits before ripping them off mercilessly, all with a mellow smile. Thank god he wasn't hairy. The woman smiled, sitting besides him while he attempted to tug at the bow holding his hair up, but it was knotted too tightly in place.

His dress was almost frillier than Haru's and covered with more lace, and he didn't understand why Azulon trudged out of another dressing room. His dress couldn't be worse than Sokka's because his had a corset too, and to add to the torture, Lily gave him high heeled ankle boots and forced them to walk until they all stopped teetering about and instead had bruised toes for all their troubles. Sokka's was the worst, this being his first year.

"You three look so pretty!" She gushed, and Sokka's eyebrow twitched.

"I'm not leaving this room." He stated bluntly, folding his arms over his chest. "I mean, come on, anyone can see I'm too manly. I look ridiculously. And easy."

He glanced down at himself with disdain. Princess lolita, bullshit, more like slutty lolita.

Azulon snorted, hands on his hips, "I've seen Miss Universe winners that were more masculine."

"Like you should talk," he snapped, pouting at him, and Azulon smirked.

"Lily, who's the prettiest?" Haru asked wistfully as he pranced around the room.

Cloth was threwn everywhere, over desk and chairs and rolled out messily along the floor. It was messy and disorderly, what with the needles that kept falling out Lily's mouth that she unfailingly forgot to pick up and the articles of clothing that none of the boys bothered to fold after trying them on. Sokka also knew for a fact that no matter what Lily said, she really hadn't meant to splash him with so much goddamned glitter.

"Why, you're all beautiful in your own ways." She hummed to herself, adjusting the tiara on Sokka's head and rearranging the twirls she's styled into his hair to frame each side of his face just as Aang bounced in. "Haru's the princess and Sokka's the Queen."

"And Azula's the Emo Princess!" Aang exclaimed enthusiastically and she nodded serenely.

"Don't call me that!" Azulon snapped, chucking a stray needle at him.

He easily dodged it and plopped in between Sokka and Lily.

"Whoa, Sokka, I almost don't recognize you!" he said, ignoring the dark looks being sent his way. "You look so effeminate it's scary."

It was amazing how impervious he was to glowers.

"C'mon, you guys, Ruon-Jian-sama wants you to change back to uniforms and go back to class. But..." Sokka stopped mid sigh of relief. "He says that it's so convenient you came here now Sokka, because tomorrow's Homecoming! It'll be fun. My friend Jet and Teo are on the committee. You'll meet them later, Sokka-hime." He leapt off the table and sauntered to the door, "Bye Haru-chan, Azulon-onna."

Haru was the only one that said 'good bye' back just as cheerfully.

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