This Hell I've Created
Author's Note: This is my first posting, please be gentle
I don't own harry potter
Sleep. What an overrated thing? I know I should go to sleep, but how can I sleep when I know she's sleeping with Ron. I should've kept my mouth shut. Maybe then things wouldn't have gotten so weird and awkward. Maybe then I wouldn't have isolated myself. Maybe then they wouldn't be together.
Who am I kidding? They were gonna get together regardless of what I said.
All I have now is this empty bed and this bottle of fire whiskey. I turned into such a cliché. Falling in love with your best friend. I'm such a fucking idiot. I can't believe I actually thought she felt that way about me. Why would she? I'm so fucked up in the head. Of course she would want someone like Ron.
Maybe I need to get away. Away from everyone and everything. I need a deserted island. Just me, this bed, and a huge case of fire whiskey. Everyone will forget I exist. Yeah that's what I need. I wouldn't have to see them together everyday. I wouldn't hear the sounds at night, that are killing me slowly.
Of course they think I'm ok with everything. Why would they think I'm slowly going insane? Because I'm there best friend and I couldn't be happier. What would they think if they really knew what was going on in my head. They would run for the hills. So here I am: miserable, alone, depressed, an alcoholic, suicidal, and they know nothing of this.
They don't see the signs that are there. They're too distracted to notice their best friend is waking up hung over and looking like shit run over twice everyday. They don't see that I'm broken. They don't see that I'm jealous. They don't see the empty bottles. They don't see that I've been wearing the same cloths. They don't see that I don't have a job. They don't see me anymore. They just see Harry. They only see my fake acceptance. They don't care about anything else but themselves.
Some friends, but they are the only family I have. So I swallow the bitter pill and hope everyone is happy.
I need get away from the happiness I see in their eyes. I need to get away when they fight. I need to get away from them. I'm driving myself crazy and I don't care. Maybe that's what my life purpose was.
I need to get away. Because if I see them together again everything in me, everything I've been hiding will come out.
I should've kept my mouth shut.
Tell me if i should post more