Disclaimer: Do not owneth Naruto and Companaeth. Bute Sasuke WILL BE MINE!
EDIT 9/28/07: This story needs a major editing run through. Jesus bloody Christ.
Genre: Romance, Humor, Drama/Angst
Warning: Yaoi (boyXboy), Sex, Drugs, Very Bad Language, Mpreg (male pregnancy). Sasuke and Naruto's POVs. Also in Normal POV.
"speaking" / thinking / author (meh)
Bring Me to Life
I: Hear Me
Call my name and save me from the dark.
A bump into the shoulder.
Staring, more staring, and more intense, awkward staring.
Walk off, look back, walk off - out of sight the next time I look back–underline I for me, please.
That's how it's been since my best friend finally came back to me. I didn't realize I'd miss him so much, until I came to the conclusion that I had to bring him back.
I brought him back.
He's here.
He's here with me now . . . and I have absolutely no idea what to do.
You're probably wondering what the fuck I'm talking about and why it's oh-so-hard to talk to my best friend, that I dragged back to "civilization," because I missed him so damn much.
Well this is the story of how I brought him back to life. And how he almost destroyed mine in the process.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How did they ever define the word normal?
Everyone has been raving about Sasuke's return, including me . . . Okay, 'including me' in a sense.
I mean, I would be raving, but I don't know how
It's sort of awkward. He won't show any emotion, like I actually forced him to come back.
Pfft, I didn't . . .
Um, I mean, I wasn't . . .
Er . . .
Okay maybe I did force him to come back, resulting in a few broken bones. . .ripped ligaments, sprains here and there, et cetera. . .Wow, he's really grown. I wish I could say I feel bad for Itachi, but . . . I don't. How could I possibly? He deserved it so, so badly.
I wonder if Sasuke is anywhere near the level Itachi is at yet? Most would expect me to say that I hope he is because I'm his best friend and I have to be there for him, but in reality, I don't give a shit. He's not going anywhere if I have a say in it. Which I do and always will. I am his best friend after all.
The first two weeks back, Kakashi had to watch over him to make sure he wouldn't run again. I can't do it because I'm already busy with Hokage training, not to mention being in the ANBU certainly takes up a large bundle of my time.
Don't get me wrong! I want nothing more than to spend as much time with Sasuke as I can, but with being in the ANBU, Hokage training, plans with Sakura (I'll tell you about that later, it gets confusing), and Tsunade-obaachan trying to keep me away from him at all times, it gets a little hard . . .
Where would you like me to start?
Um, okay, let's start with me in the ANBU.
Do you remember back when I spent basically my whole life trying to win Sasuke back? . . .Oh god that sounded wrong, sorry. Anyway, well yeah, when Tsunade finally COMPLETELY got tired of it and wouldn't tolerate my obsessing anymore, she ordered me to go out for the ANBU.
I detested the idea of wasting my valuable time with all those missions instead of training and venturing off again and again to bring Sasuke back to the village. But of course, I had no choice in the matter. As you know, Tsunade can be very scary when necessary. . .
Hokage training: a month or so with the whole ANBU thing going for me had almost put Tsunade-obaachan into a mental hospital, sporting the comfortable and fashionable straight jacket.
She thought for two very important and convincing reasons I was ready to start my training as Rokudaime were, one, I see the village as my life's duty, and everything important to me, all the people, whether they shunned and scolded me when I was young or not, I still love them, even more for many now accepting me as me and not the hated but powerful Kyuubi. And two, it'll get me out of her hair about bringing back Sasuke if she keeps me busy . . . Ew, that just occurred to me! Fuck her!
What's next? Ah yes . . . Sakura. Hooray.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yes, Tsunade-sama, I understand."
"Good. That'll be all."
"Yes Tsunade-sama."
"Oh and Sakura?"
"Yes Tsunade-sama?"
"You're annoying me with the formalities. How many times do I have to tell you to just call me Tsunade?"
"Sorry, yes, Hokage-sama." Sakura strolled out of a very agitated Godaime's office with a grin on her face. She loved Tsunade like a second mother. It was so much fun picking on her. Not that she picked on her real mother.
"Hey Sakura-chan," Naruto came a-walkin' down the hallway towards his former pink-haired teammate, smiling bright.
Sakura turned with grace towards his approaching self, her grin growing wider at his arrival. She loved spending time with Naruto now. Seeing him, hanging out with him, talking to him, hearing his obnoxious laughs and quarrels with others . . . It was all stuff she learned to love.
"Hi Naruto-kun! How are you?" Yup, that too. She had began a little while after their last encounter to Orochimaru's current headquarters (um, lair) and reunion with Sasuke to refer to him as 'kun' instead of just Naruto. They were getting friendlier ad friendlier with each other by the day . . .
"I'm great. Are you busy right now?" he asked sheepishly, hiding his blush in the shadow of his elbow, his hand rubbing the back of his tanned neck.
Sakura giggled with arched eyes. She loved when he acted so shy. It was so cute. "Nope. Just got off shift for lunch. Want to join me?"
He beamed at her and nodded frantically.
She giggled some more and took his hand, leading him down the twirling stairs.
They stepped up to the small stand, Ichiraku Ramen, one blush and one LARGE smile hand in hand.
Naruto pushed away the curtain for Sakura to walk in. This just happened to be one of those days both I and Naruto would not understand how they ever defined the word normal. So after he politely made space for her to stride in like a queen, against all odds, let me add before I say this, she politely curtsied back to him in respect. He smiled wider, which I think was quite impossible at that point, at the gesture. This was truly the best day of his life. No lie. His heart was beating faster than a hamster on its wheel chasing a huge piece of sirloin steak.
They both sat down on an unoccupied stool. Naruto ordered for Sakura a miso soup, him a simple beef ramen. He wanted to impress his lady by not being too big of a pig today. She only got a miso soup because he found out that she was on a diet . . . Hey, there were some perks to always being in the friend zone.
I'm going to skip all of the unimportant mushy stuff and get straight to the part where Tsunade and a heart-attack come in.
You won't believe this one . . .
". . . Um, uh, T-Tsunade-obaachan . . .?"
Tsunade looked up to the couple holding hands and fidgeting like there was no tomorrow.
She raised a nicely groomed blonde eyebrow. "Yes? What is it Naruto, Sakura?" She looked from one to the other, and just couldn't figure out who was fidgeting and sweating more.
". . . Um, heh, heh heh . . ."
Oh no . . . Now what has he done? And how did he drag Sakura into it–Wait a minute . . . Are they holding hands? . . . Oh good god . . . "SHE'S PREGNANT!" Tsunade gasped at her outburst. She honestly didn't mean to say that out loud.
"What!" Naruto almost fainted, Sakura catching him in the act . . . Um, literally. She caught him before he fainted and started fanning his face with her green fingernail-ed hand. It reminds you of Iruka, doesn't it? I always thought that man was a little girly . . . and now he's rubbed off on Naruto.
"I-I am, Tsunade-sama? A-Are you," a deep gulp, "s-sure!?"
Tsunade burst into laughter. Something she didn't mean to do out loud either, but what the heck. This was just to hilarious to bypass. Look at this. Naruto fainting, Sakura on the verge of tears, and Tsunade was the one to cause all of it. Come on, you would laugh too.
She stopped laughing long enough to explain her mistake, before she had a hysterically crying medic-nin and a half-dead jounin in her room. "N-No. No, no. You're not. I thought that was what you were trying to tell me. You're not pregnant, Sakura. Don't worry."
Sakura sighed in relief, halting her oncoming tears. She failed to notice that she had dropped Naruto while doing so. Ahem.
"Ouch! . . . What was that for?" Both women looked down to the headache induced boy, rubbing his throbbing, abused head. Oh woe is our young, emblazoned Naruto.
Sakura looked to Tsunade and winked . . . quite evilly.
Tsunade shook her head doubtfully. That bubble-gum haired nin could be so sadistic sometimes, frankly betraying her expected first expressions . . . But only if it was to Naruto, of course.
"Naru-kun," she knelt down to Naruto and smiled warmly at him. Her small, bony hands cupped her dipped knees. He looked as confused as ever. "Do you know what we were talking about?"
He shot his eyes to Tsunade questionably, but she looked busy doing . . . paperwork. Bullshit. What's going on? His now red hand fell to the floor as he warily looked back to Sakura. He gulped down a very large knot in his throat and slowly but steadily shook his head for a no answer.
She giggled and took his hand in a joyous manner. Her eyes shone with a bright vigor. It scared him. "I'm pregnant!"
Oh poor, poor Naruto. His head was going to be hurting so bad that next morning.
"If he faints one more time, I'm blaming you and you're going to have to pay for his medical bill." Tsunade slammed shut her folder while looking at the nearly dead boy she cared so deeply for on the floor.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of him," she said, getting up and smiling. She turned to her Hokage's desk, tending to forget the boy on the carpeted ground next to her. What a perfect couple they are!
"So, Sakura, what was it you wanted to tell me?"
Sakura lost her composure as she almost barfed out the wonderful lunch her and Naruto had that day. You see, they had a very memorable picnic. Wanna know why? "Um, um, um, um. . ."
"Spit it out Sakura. I don't have all day." Tsunade was known to get irritated very, very easily.
"Okay. I-I can do this . . . WAKE UP, DAMNIT!" I don't think I need to explain how she continuously started kicking Naruto to wake him up. An honorable couple, indeed.
"Sakura, I'm giving you thirty seconds."
"What!?"
". . . 27, 26 . . ."
"Okay, okay!! Stop!"
". . . 23, 22 . . ."
"AGH!"
". . . 17, 16, 15 . . ."
"Miss Tsunade!! ME AND NARUTO ARE GETTING MARRIED!"
I told you you wouldn't believe it.
". . . That's funny Sakura. But come on. I really don't have time for jokes. What did you want to tell me?" She exceeded her timing and went back to doing paperwork, reluctantly . . . Very reluctantly.
". . . Uh, um, t-that was what we wanted to t-tell you . . ."
Tsunade froze. She just froze, like time completely stopped around her and she was supposed to stop with it. She tried moving a hand, but it's like she was just stuck there.
"What?"
Sakura gulped, kind of like what Naruto did just before, but it was a WHOLE lot thicker of a knot. "N-Naruto and I a-are getting . . . married . . ."
"No you're not."
Sakura knew that was coming sooner or later. She didn't really expect Tsunade to approve, but she wanted her to do the ceremony and be the minister. It would be really impressive if the Hokage would do their wedding.
"Please, Tsunade? Pretty please? I really want you to be the minister! Pretty, pretty please, with sugar on top and lots and lots of cherries!?" Oh god, she really lowered herself this time.
Tsunade definitely didn't see this coming. The pregnancy thing was looking pretty damn good at this point. She thought about how she first met Naruto as a little kid, and how he changed her mind about becoming Hokage, and how he always reminded her of her late little brother and late love.
So then it occurred to her. Was she really going to let anybody else do their wedding? They definitely wouldn't not get married just because she didn't want them to. If anything, they would go elope, and she really didn't want that. Naruto was the most important thing in her life right now, and she wanted to be the one giving him his wedding, and no one else. No one else or nothing else was good enough for her Naru-chan.
"Fine."
"Oh come on, please, Tsunade– . . . Wait, what?"
"I said fine, I'll do it. I still think you're too young though." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. This has been the longest and most fucked up day of her life.
"Oh thank you, Tsunade-sama!"
"Oh and Sakura?"
"Yes, Tsunade-sama?"
"Enough with the formalities, please? Call me mom from now on."
Sakura shined so bright, it was blinding. She ran around the desk and hugged Tsunade tighter than she hugged Naruto when he proposed to her.
Yes, a very much fucked up day for Tsunade.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No, we're not married yet, if that's what you're thinking. Plans are still in progress.
. . . I haven't told Sasuke yet. I have to tell him, because he's gonna be my best man, but I'm not sure how to tell him. What am I supposed to say?
"Hey, Sasuke! Guess what? I and Sakura are getting married in three weeks! Would you please be my best man?"
. . . Maybe if I add that he won't have to do anything but walk down the aisle and smile . . . Yeah, he'd never agree to actually smile. Oh I'm so screwed.
The other problem to him being my best man? Tsunade-obaachan not letting him be it. She doesn't want him to have anything to do with me. Why? I have no clue. It's like she thinks he was actually going to kill me! I doubt that highly . . . Don't you?
Oh, so what? He tried to stab me that ONE time. Really now.
Whatever. He'll always be Sasuke. And always my most important person.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've been pacing the sidewalk for twenty minutes now, trying to figure out how to ask him to be my best man.
It's really not fair, you know. This is MY wedding, and I'm going all out just so he can be my best man. Fucked up, man.
But honestly? I don't think there is anyone better for the job. He's my best friend, late rival (I've come to the conclusion that that cause is so hopeless, I gave up), and the most important person in my life . . . The only one I ever really cared about accepting me. Now he does, and it's like I still have this empty hole in my heart I'm waiting for him to fill. But neither of us know just how to fill it . . . Well he doesn't actually care. But I do. I may not show it sometimes, behind this sunshine-happy mask I'm always wearing. The truth is that I'm always caring. Always caring what people think of me, what he thinks of me. So inside while I'm really crying, the outside is taunting him, like I'm better, when really, all it is, is that I WANT to be better. Does he know that? Of course he does. He knows everything.
I break from my thoughts and heave a large sigh. I'm getting drenched outside in this thunderstorm that ironically matches with my sad thoughts.
I look up to his mansion. It's beautiful. This happened to be the first time I was ever at his house. I always wanted to be friendlier with him, but he didn't. Just look back to our fight at the Valley of the End . . . Not that it's relevant, but the names a little cheesy, eh? At least no one died that time. That'd be nauseatingly accurate.
I sigh away the unbelievably pointless thoughts once more and make my way up past the gigantic black gates protecting his estate.
One step after another.
Step. Splash.
Step. Splash.
God damnit, why did this path have to be so long?
I looked up to his steel plated and black fine-wood double doors. I never noticed he had his clan symbol on both. It looked nice.
My shaking hand, whether from the cold or because I was nervous, I couldn't tell, reached up towards the door and gently knocked on it, half-hoping he wouldn't answer and half-hoping he would.
In my mind, I flipped a coin to see which half would win.
Tales.
And everyone knows tales comes second.
Click.
"What do you want?"
. . . It hit me so hard across the head, I thought I might have had brain damage. These four words were the first words he had said to me at all since he was back. Through all my plans for the wedding, all my Hokage training, all my missions with the ANBU, I had never cared to notice that I hadn't talked to Sasuke at all.
I find so much shame in myself, it hurts. All that talk about me caring, and I didn't even give a fucking care to talk to him once.
I hate myself so much right now, I'm shaking.
. . . Wait, was that why I was shaking?
Oh great. More fainting.
The last thing I remember is Sasuke looking at me with me an expressionless face as I fall to the floor.
I wasn't sure if that was better than him glaring at me or not, but as I fell, I felt dreadfully worse than I did before.
Dying sounded pretty fucking good. Like having a best man for your wedding.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll be fixing the rest too. Bye!
Love,
Paramour