ON MY OWN
He ran.... He ran until he could run no more. He ran along the beach until the sand
reached the waves.
He sat down on the rocky outcrop just in front of the short line. His heart was heaving
in his chest from the crying he had been doing whilst fleeing.
Now he was still, the crying was replaced by heart wrenching sobs. He leaned his head
against his knees and cried. Cried until his tears combined with the salt water below and
there was not longer any distinction between the two.
Up until 15 minutes ago he had felt on top of the world. He had felt loved and needed.
He thought he had a family and friends.
Now that was all changed........ In the blink of an eye he was on his own.
How could he have been so blind? He had spent a good number of years protecting himself
against something just like this. Shielding himself from the pain of letting people in.
It had all sounded so good. So reassuring.
Come with us Lucas they said. Live with us and we will show you the love that you have
always looked for. YEAH RIGHT. he told himself. He couldn't believe he had fallen
for it. How could he have been so gullible. He had fallen hook line and sinker.
'You fell for it Wolenczak' he berated himself. "Fell like a stone. Bought every God damned
word of it. And look at you now?"
The words he heard had been echoing in his head:
Fifteen minutes ago he had pulled up outside his father's house. Father's house he spat
bitterly. Another lie. The one person he thought he could truly trust after all of this time.
And now, it turned out he was just like all the rest.
He had pulled up outside Captain Nathan Bridger's house after spending a night out on
the mainland. The company had been delightful. Nothing serious, but the girl had been quite
pretty and keep his attention for the entire night.
He had just approached the screen door on the front of the house when he heard voices:
"It's not like he has had only one chance at this" Lucas heard Commander Jonathan
Ford say.
"He's right" Kristen Westphalen added in "I've been getting all sorts of bad reports
from my scientific people as well over the last few weeks. His punctuality, his tardiness,
his lack of professionalism. It just is inexcusable Nathan."
"I know what you are both saying" Bridger said coming into the conversation. "I might
have closed my eyes to a little bit of it, but I have been getting negative reports from most
of the senior crew as well about him. I just don't know what the solution to the problem is."
"You have to be firm on this Captain" Ford said. "If he gets away with this, then what
sort of example it is setting for the rest of the crew?"
"Where else can I put him on the ship?" Bridger now asked his co-workers.
"Maybe there isn't really a place for him on the SeaQuest." Kristen said honestly.
"I agree with the doctor Captain" Ford said "He needs to be given his notice as soon
as possible."
"Alright, I don't like it much, but I think the time has come for him to go as well" Bridger
said confidently. "I'll draw up the appropriate paperwork in the morning and approach
him when I see him."
Lucas had been standing in the shadows outside whilst listening to his friends gathered
around the table inside. Friends, friends that wanted nothing but to stab him in the back.
He suddenly found himself breathing shallowly. He was finding it hard to take in what
he had just heard. But the voices where unmistakable, Commander Jonathan Ford,
Kristen Westphalen and Captain Nathan Bridger. The people he respected the most.
The people who claimed to love him. It had all been a lie, a terrible lie.
He found himself running. He didn't know where he was running to, but he had to get
away from there as fast as possible.
He tried to fit it with the crew on the SeaQuest. It wasn't easy being the 17 years old
genius aboard who ran the ship's computer system. It was even harder to fit in being
the adopted son of the Captain of the ship. Everyone looked him suspiciously or rather
looked down at him. They all asked the question why was he really here.
Truth was, he didn't really know why he was still there. His real father Lawrence Wolenczak
had placed him there a little over three years ago when he needed someone else to watch out
for him. He provided the money, somebody else did the dirty work. It was just the way
Lawrence and Cynthia Wolenczak saw the duties of parenthood.
After a while he thought he was beginning to settle in okay. The crew treated him a little better.
Maybe a little at a hand's distance, but they seemed friendly enough on a day to day basis.
Then there was the Captain. After all of those nights where he had cried himself to sleep in
Bridger's arms, telling him of his upbringing in the Wolenczak's household. This man, who
claimed to be a father to him, promised to protect him, look after him and most of him, love him.
Love him unconditionally Lucas thought the agreement had said. But now that unwritten
contract was in torn up pieces on the floor. It had meant nothing.
If his so called friends and family didn't want him anymore, maybe it was time to find out
what else was out in the big wide world for Lucas Wolenczak. Maybe it was time to spread
his wings and find out who he really was.
Maybe it was time to leave SeaQuest.....................
Lucas sat on the beach for what seemed to be hours. When he had made his mind up
about what he wanted to do, he got up and walked back towards the house.
He didn't want to go inside. That was the last place he wanted to be at the moment.
And he didn't want to let them see him either. He couldn't take that right at the moment.
To see them greeting him on false pretences would just be like a slap in the face.
He had his wallet on him and surveyed it's contents. He had enough money to support
himself temporarily. There was more funds available, tucked away in the bank if he
wanted some more later. He could and would survive okay. He had the immediate
problem though of getting some personal items. Clothes and his other possessions
were safely locked away in his bedroom for the time being.
He got back into his car before they noticed his presence and drove off towards
the mariner. Once there, he paid the fare to get the last ferry of the night to the
mainland. He left the car in the parking lot. It was locked, but he wouldn't be
able to take it with him tonight. For the next few weeks he would be on his own
and probably on foot or whatever transport he could waver down on the road.
On his way over by ferry, he made a mental list of things he would need to start
his new life. He would need to stop off at a friend's place first and get the clothing
and other minor details sorted out. Once on the road he could get the other things,
but for the time being he intended to travel as light as possible. Two changes
of clothes and the shoes on his feet would be all he could carry at the moment. The
thing that he would have to carry no matter what was a heavy heart. It pained him
to think that he would never see his friends or family again. But they had made the
decision and both he and they had to accept that.
********************************************************************
Lucas got off the ferry and made his way by taxi to 123 South Road. Wolfman's place.
Over the years, this was his one true friend. Someone who didn't pretend to be something
he wasn't. If Wolfman thought Lucas was getting out of line, he would say so. Just like
he gave encouragement and praise when also deserved.
It was 1.30am in the morning when Lucas knocked on his friends door. The porch light
came on and a sleepy looking teenager with curly black hair opened the heavy wooden door.
When he saw who was at the door, he rubbed at his eyes and looked again just to make sure
he wasn't seeing things.
"Frankie?" he exclaimed as he pulled Lucas inside his apartment. "What the hell are you
doing here this time of night?". The forlorn look on Lucas's face told him that this wasn't
a social call. Something was definitely wrong.
Lucas gave quick wave to his best friend as he was steered towards Wolfman's humble
abode. The bedroom was dark, just the way he liked it. The walls were painted black
and inside was undistinguishable except for the small circle of light coming from the
bedside table lamp.
Lucas pulled up a chair and sat beside his friend's bed as Wolfman made himself
comfortable on the bed.
"What's up cuz" Wolfman asked trying to sound as casual as possible.
"They don't want me anymore, Wolfy" Lucas said as he tried to choke back the tears
that threatened. "It was all a lie, a great big fat lie. And I bought every God Damned
word of it."
Wolfman hadn't completely understood what Lucas had said. Something about
somebody not wanting him. It sounded like Lucas was finally accepting what his
so called parents had done to him. Lawrence and Cynthia Wolenczak. Scum Bags of the world.
"All this time, I believed them. Thought that they wanted me aboard the SeaQuest.
Everything seemed to be going okay. I finally thought somebody wanted me for being
Lucas Wolenczak." Lucas continued.
Wolfman's mouth dropped open with shock when he realised that Lucas had been
talking about his friends and family aboard the SeaQuest. "You mean that THEM?"
Lucas just nodded his head in answering yes.
"Tell me what happened and don't leave anything out" Wolfman said as he moved
off the bed towards Lucas and put a comforting arm around his best friend.
Lucas proceeded to tell Wolfman about what he had overheard from the people
inside the house. Bridger, Westphalen and Ford. He said it word for word and
even repeated it for his friend when it seemed the Wolfman was doubting that Lucas's
new family would say such things.
"They said it alright Wolfman" Lucas said in bitterness. "I heard them. And there
was no mistake about who was saying it. My so called friend and family from SeaQuest."
"What are you going to do now?" Wolfman said dreading the answer.
"I don't know" Lucas said in honesty. "I got enough money to keep me going for
a while. But I suppose I have to move on and find something else to do with my life.
I've got some skills, but I don't want to go anywhere they might come looking."
Lucas answered.
"I think I'll just look around the backwoods and back roads first. Got to be something
around that I can do out towards Arizona and them places. Bridger and the others
wouldn't think of coming to look for me out that way. I haven't got a car, so I guess
that I will be just flat footing it for a while."
"Why don't you stay here, Frankie?" Wolfman said "I know lots of places that would
gladly employ somebody with your brain."
"Thanks, Wolfman, really, but the public eye is the last place I want to be right now.
I need to get out and find out what's in the world for Lucas. I am going to finally put
myself first for a change." Lucas said. "Promise me that you won't tell anybody which
direction I am headed in."
"I promise Frankie, but you sure you're going to be alright on your own" Wolfman
said with a little uneasiness. "It could be tough out there on your own for a while."
"I know, but maybe that exactly what I need right now. All my life people have been
telling me that I have an IQ equal to some of the best minds in the world, but to
tell you the truth, I really don't give a damn. I want to find out what I can do without
using my brain power. There's got to be a lot more out there than just the sea
and computers."
Wolfman was totally confused and baffled by that last comment. Lucas had always
been into computers. He was a hacker himself, but Lucas took the prize and the cake
too when it came to ability with computers. Nobody could get close to Lucas Wolenczak.
Even the great Mycroft had failed in his attempts to beat Lucas at his own game.
The fact that Lucas was considering that computers was now less important worried
him about his friend more than ever.
Lucas was obviously resolved in his decision to leave. Wolfman knew it would be wrong
as a friend to stop him. But he felt he needed to do something. "What do you need from
me, pal?"
"Some clothes and your silence." Lucas said. "I couldn't go back to the house
to get anything. Just two changes and a backpack if you've got a spare one."
"The clothes I can give you, no problem. But I'm not sure about the other Lucas."
Wolfman said. "I don't want to betray your trust, but this will be the first place
for Bridger or the crew to look. They are likely to drag me over the coals to find
out what I know."
"Yeah I suppose your right" Lucas replied "Okay, just let me get some shut eye
for an hour or so and I be on my way. Even if they show up here, I will be long
gone."
**********************************************************************
About three hours later Lucas walked back out the front door of Wolfman's apartment.
The two friends stood on the front landing for a few minutes. They gave each other
a handshake at first, but Wolfman couldn't help but pull his friend into a hug. He had
tears of his own thinking about Lucas being forced to go it alone in this world. His
friend had been hurt too much already in his short life. It pained him to think of Lucas
going through any more torture on his own.
Wolfman knew that Lucas would eventually think about his friends and Bridger aboard
the SeaQuest. They had been such a large part of his life for a long time now. Even
if it were all fake, Lucas feelings towards them had been genuine enough. That was
something you could just quickly wash away and forget. His friend was in for some
rough time emotionally over the next few days and weeks. There would be no one to
help him through it either.
"See you around, Wolfy" Lucas said with a cheery grin as he started walking down
the street away from his friend. "See you later alligator"
"In a while crocodile" came the reply but he felt the hot sting of his own tears
as Lucas continued on his new path.
It was about this time that Wolfman decided that he had a phone call to make.
He didn't want to betray his friend and he wouldn't, but he really needed to give
Lucas's so called friends and family a serve. How could they be so callous about
Lucas like that. He felt the anger inside him grow. He picked up the phone and
prepared to call the Bridger's residence on the island.
******************************************************************
It was about 4.00 a.m. on the island. Bridger and Kristen were now very worried
about the missing teenager. He was supposed to be home about four hours ago, but
still hadn't shown up.
He had walked to the mariner to catch the ferry, so his motorcycle remained parked
in the garage as usual.
Bridger had arranged for some of the senior members of the crew to arrive on the
island and start forming a search party for Lucas.
Bridger was just briefing Ben Krieg, Commander Ford, Miguel Ortiz and Tim
O'Neill on Lucas's last known whereabouts. The video phone rang. Bridger
hoped that it might be some good news. Maybe it was Lucas trying to call, saying
he was stuck on the mainland, safe and sound.
No such luck. They were very surprised to see the face of Lucas's young friend
Wolfman. The boy's real name was Nick but Lucas never called him that.
Bridger and the others had only met the young man on a few occasions after Lucas's
stay on Node Three. The two had become even closer since that visit and would
talk to each other via the webnet more than twice a day some times.
Bridger opened the conversation "Hi Wolfman" he said with a small smile. Maybe
Lucas had decided to spend the night at Nick's place and forgot to call home.
Wolfman looked about the room and could see everybody that should be there for
what he was about to say.
"YOU ALL SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES" he barked on the other
side of the screen. The young man was quite ticked off at something or somebody.
Bridger and the others had expected the teenager to ask for his friend or tell them
that Lucas was with him. They didn't expect the hostile reception they received.
"Whoa, settle down" Bridger said trying to calm down the angry young man in front
of him.
"Don't tell me to calm down after what you've all done" Wolfman said. He wasn't
a part of the military and he barely knew any of the people in front of him. He decided
that he didn't really need to mind his P's and Q's at this point in time. Especially due
to the fact that the people he was looking at had caused his best friend such pain.
"What we've done" Kristen now asked in surprise. She didn't know what Nick
was driving but she didn't like be spoken by anybody in that tone of voice.
"Have you seen Lucas tonight Nick?" Bridger asked before the conversation turned
even nastier.
"Have I seen Lucas tonight?" Nick spat in bitterness "Yeah I've seen Lucas tonight
and no thanks to you bozos."
Bridger sighed a little in relief when he heard that Lucas might be with his best friend. The
relief was short lived though.
"When did you see him" Ben Krieg now asked trying to keep his temper in check
at this person he barely knew who was hurling abuse at them through the video link.
"He was here about two hours ago, crying his heart out on my shoulder. And he
has all of you to thank for that. You really shouldn't have said the things you said
Captain Bridger" Nick said.
"Shouldn't have said what" Bridger said a little annoyed. He was getting yelled at by
this person and he didn't have the faintest idea why. All he knew was that Nick was
very angry and apparently Lucas had been crying at his place a little earlier.
"Don't pretend you don't know" Nick shouted back in disgust
"Nick" Kristen said trying to interject before Nathan blew a fuse "I am sorry, we really
don't know what you're talking about" she said in a gentler tone.
Wolfman looked at these faces and didn't know whether to believe them or not. Could
Lucas have made a grave mistake.
Nathan could see the uncertainty written on Nick's face. "How about you take it back
to the beginning and tell us what happened between you and Lucas tonight. We are
very worried, he hasn't returned home yet."
"And after what I have to tell you, maybe he never will" Wolfman said in sadness.
Bridger and Kristen paled slightly at this comment. "Never return?. What are you
talking about" the captain now asked.
"Lucas came to my place about 1.30 this morning. He was crying when I answered
the door. I told him to come in. When he got to my room, he broke down totally
and told me about what he had over heard you, Kristen and Commander Ford saying about
him tonight." Nick explained.
"We weren't talking about Lucas" Bridger started to say when he suddenly remembered
the conversation that he and Kristen had with Jonathan earlier about Seaman Thomas
from personnel.
Kristen and Commander Ford now paled at hearing this comment. They both knew the
conversation Wolfman meant. How could they have been so stupid to let Lucas hear
words like that. What was the boy supposed to think. Here they had been talking about
getting rid of a seaman who hadn't being pulling his weight for quite some time. They
had not mentioned any names during the discussion and it never occurred to them that
Lucas might overhear them and assume that they were talking about him.
Ben Krieg wanted to know what was going on as well. He could sense that something
had been overheard by Lucas. But what?
Kristen explained what they had exactly said, word for word. And when the conversation
was examined in detail. With the absence of names, it was easy to see why Lucas had
thought they were talking about him.
His father Lawrence Wolenczak had told him that he was useless his entire life. He had
been moved from place to place as his parent's convenience.
"Oh Nathan, we have to find him and tell him what really happened" Kristen said on the
verge of tears. She couldn't believe that she had said words that had wounded the one
she loved.
Wolfman looked about the room at the faces of the crew and knew that Lucas had indeed
made a mistake about what they said. It didn't solve the problem though. Lucas was gone.
"Where's Lucas now" Bridger asked with dread. Inwardly he was punishing himself to no
end about the hurt and pain he was causing Lucas. He had always told Lucas that he loved
him and somehow he thought the fact that he said the words meant that Lucas believed him.
He didn't realize that every now and then he should also demonstrate it a little more with
other ways than by talking.
"I'm sorry about yelling, Captain" Nick said sheepishly. "I just heard what Lucas thought
you said and got angry. He believed every word of it Captain. He thought that all you
told him was lies just like his father had told him. As for knowing where he is, your guess
is as good as mine. I don't think he knew himself when he left here. He just asked for a
change of clothes and walked down the street. He said he had enough money of his own
to survive for a few months. Said he wanted to find out what else was in life for Lucas
Wolenczak."
Bridger had to sit down to stop the hurt he was now feeling. He had driven the one person
away who he needed to go on each day. The boy thought that he didn't want him anymore.
He had driven Lucas away just like Robert.
Commander Ford was the one who now took charge of the situation. He could see what
Lucas's absence was doing to his superior officer. It was tearing the man apart from the
inside out.
"Captain, let's get out there and try and find him" Ford said. "The more time we waste,
the further Lucas will get away from us."
Bridger looked up at the dark skinned Commander. He had tears running down his
face at the thought of losing Lucas. When he looked at Jonathan he could see that the
man was taking the usual approach to problem. Jonathan was all military and took it from
the book.
Bridger stood up and gathered his composure "You're right Commander. Come on
everybody lets formulate a plan for finding Lucas" he gave a handshake to Commander
Ford for being there when he was most needed.
Jonathan just nodded his head. Secretly he was very worried about what somebody like
Lucas might do in his state of mind. Where would he go?
While Lucas's friend and family were talking about him, Lucas riding on a bus towards
Arizona.
He didn't care where the bus said he was going. When it got far enough out of town
he would walk.
He would rest during the day in a motel or something. By night he intended to walk
the long dusty roads towards his future. Where that was he didn't really know.
The bus pulled up about 20 miles out of the city and he started walking. It was
just before dawn, so the weather was still mild. He would be able to walk a few
miles before stopping in a motel until the heat subsided at the end of the day.
Today was the first day of the rest of his life.
I KNOW IT'S NOT MUCH - LOTS MORE TO COME.
"