The sounds of crackling fires and police sirens rang around the Lower East Village. On the corner of Avenue B and eleventh street, an old music publishing factory stands, the bricks washed out and the inside of the building slowly falling apart. On the top floor, three friends live together. They are fortunate to have the biggest apartment in their area of New York City. Inside is a philosophical anarchist, a very angst-filled failed musician, and an over-dramatic diva. Out of the three, the two men are HIV-positive, and the third (in the musician's opinion), "Annoys the living hell out of (him) so that (he'll) take (his) AZT and be around longer to tell (her) that (she) doesn't look fat in those leather pants." They're Thomas Collins, Roger Davis, and Maureen Johnson. The floor below them is the home to Roger's girlfriend, the HIV-positive, semi-recovering heroin addict, S&M dancer Mimi Marquez. They're all dirt-broke, hungry, and, as of right now, thanks to their landlord-slash-ex-roommate, Benjamin Coffin III, freezing their asses off. It was just after Christmas, and the four Bohemians were listening to yet another screened call from Benny.
"... and I can offer you all great jobs at the new cyber studio we're opening up within the next year. The pay is decent, so maybe you can finally pay this past year's rent, which, you know, you still owe me. I'll be there soon for it. Let me know about that jobs. Corporate America is knocking on your door. Open it up. Maybe you can finally afford to have a TV in the loft with a new flow."
It was Roger who spoke first. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he asked.
"That's some bullshit right there," Mimi agreed. "I'm gonna go get ready for work before he shows up at your door." She kissed Roger's cheek and sauntered out the door. Maureen made sure Roger wasn't paying attention before quickly staring at his girlfriend's ass.
"How much time to you give before he shows up?" she asked.
The phone rang.
"Depends on whether or not he has a key on him," Collins responded.
"Screw this. Screw Benny and his corporate America." Maureen stormed out of the loft. She ascended the stairs to the roof of their building. She looked over the edge to see Benny looking up at her.
"Hey there, Mo!" he called up.
"Only my friends can call me Mo!" Maureen shouted at him.
"What the hell do you want, Benny?" Roger asked. He and Collins had climbed out onto the fire escape. Roger was right outside Mimi's window, while Collins stood above him.
"I want to talk peacefully to you guys," Benny said.
"About you wanting us to work for you and your father-in-law?" Collins scoffed. "When Hell freezes over."
"I don't know about you guys, but this place is Hell, and it's pretty frigid here." Benny chuckled to himself. "Come on down."
Maureen let out a deafening shriek in response. If there was anything she hated as much as the freezing cold New York winters and her family, it was Benny.
"I wanna be a Bohemian Idiot!" she sang. "I want a nation without any media!"
"You're being overdramatic," Benny said.
"Hey, can you see the eviction notices?" Collins added.
"Well at least Roger can act decent-"
"Thanks to our dumbfuck landlord!" Roger spat.
"Spoke too soon."
"Welcome to a new kind of Bohemia," the three friends sang. "All across of New York City, where nothing will ever be the same. Crackpot theories of nowadays reminding us that we might not be okay, and we can't try to argue!"
The trio decided to go downstairs anyway. They circled around Benny.
"What do you really want?" Maureen asked.
"You heard my voicemail by the looks of things," Benny replied. "And I'm serious about it."
"You don't belong here," Collins said. "You stick out like a sore thumb."
"And it looks like we're not the only ones you pissed off," Roger added with a smirk. Slowly, other poor and homeless people saw who was in their midst and surrounded him as well. Mimi snaked through the other Bohemians and stood with her boyfriend.
"You don't understand, do you?" Benny laughed. He cleared his throat and sang, "I used to be a part of Bohemia. Now I'm a part of a corporate agenda. End your stupid protests and propaganda and mature like the rest of America!" His response was roars of laughter from those who hated him.
"Welcome to a new kind of Bohemia," they sang. "All across of New York City, where nothing will ever be the same. Crackpot theories of nowadays reminding us that we might not be okay, and we can't try to argue!"
"I need last year's rent, which you still owe me," Benny said.
"How can we pay last year's rent?" Mimi asked.
"Well, if you have no problem taking your clothes off for people to stuff money in your straps, then why not give me the money you make?"
"Prick!"
All of the Bohemians screamed in Benny's face and threw garbage at him. He tried to use his hands to shield himself.
"I wanna be a Bohemian idiot," Maureen sang.
"One nation ignored by the media," Collins vocalized
"Alleys crawling with junkies and artists," Roger chanted.
"Are hidden from the rest of America," everyone around Benny harmonized. "Welcome to a new kind of Bohemia, all across New York City, where nothing will ever be the same. Crackpot theories of nowadays reminding us that we might not be okay, and we can't try to argue!"
At the same speed they appeared, the Bohemians vanished back to their hiding spots, each one shouting obscenities at the landlord as they did. Mimi gave Roger another kiss before dancing her way to work. This left the original four alone again.
"Well?" Benny asked.
"No," Maureen answered.
"No to...?"
"Everything. No job offer. No rent. No."
"Fine. I'll be seeing you guys soon to collect the rent." Benny climbed back into his Range Rover and drove off.
"We're not gonna see him for a while, are we?" Roger asked.
Maureen and Collins shook their heads before they all went back inside.