This is for cecevolume. Written for the LJ A2A exchange. I loved this prompt and I hope you all enjoy this story
Thank you to my spectacular beta Kitty for whipping this into shape.
The fire roared in the hearth at the Salvatore Boarding House as Damon relished in the silence surrounding him.
While everyone else was at the Lockwood house celebrating Christmas as a group, Damon was here. He bowed out of the party, not wanting to spend his Christmas babysitting. Babysitting; basically where his existence as a vampire had taken him. He had to constantly be around to make sure someone else didn't fuck up the flimsy balance their world was currently in. Elena was a new vampire, her and Stefan were on the outs which left Damon to do much more of the new vamp-sitting. It was most definitely not the highlight of his life, especially when she still had a hard time admitting to feelings that she so clearly had. Maybe that was the secondary reason for not going to the party; he didn't want to spend another night with her while she was constantly denying her feelings for him. He leaned his head against the back of the easy chair and closed his eyes, his memories taking him back to a time when things were much simpler.
It was December 1847, there was a massive Christmas Tree set up in the corner. Giuseppe had taken a 7 year old Damon outside to show him how to select the perfect tree. There were gifts wrapped underneath and Damon could smell the food cooking in the kitchen. It was Christmas Eve and their family was still intact. The entire house smelled of pine and Damon's mother was singing Christmas Carols in the living room where the tree was set up with baby Stefan in her arms. She was cradling the baby and Damon went to sit down next to them. Damon's mother passed baby Stefan into his arms and Damon smiled genuinely.
"We should open gifts." His mom suggested rising from her chair to pull the few gifts that were under the tree out. Once she found Damon's present she took Stefan back and handed him the gift.
"This is from your father and I." His mom said with a smile on her face. He opened the gift to find a ball, he grinned and thanked his parents profusely.
"Thank you mother and father." He said smiling.
"You're welcome son. I hope that someday when your brother is old enough, you will play with him with that ball." His mom told him.
"I will mother, I will be a good big brother to Stefan. Anything he needs I will help him with." Damon vowed.
"I know you will, you are going to be a great man Damon Salvatore" His mom said proudly.
Damon snapped back to reality and shook his head, it was the last Christmas he spent with his mom which made the memory of it bittersweet. But it was easily his happiest Christmas, the sheer childlike glow at knowing Santa was going to come and leave presents for those who were good. Damon tried his hardest to be good knowing that Santa would leave him something nice in his stocking. After his mother had died things changed. He didn't want to sully his good memory with thoughts on how Giuseppe had changed once Damon's mother had passed. He shook his head free of all the thoughts and rose, walking over to the bar and filling his glass again.
Damon tried to think of a time where he was as happy as he was when he was 7, but was hard-pressed to. When he was a child everything he wanted out of life was at his fingertips, and his mother was there to encourage him. His mother was the only person who ever loved him unconditionally; hell she was probably the only person who had ever loved him. The one person he wanted to love him could never give in to those feelings that they both knew were there. Damon rested his head against the back of the chair enjoying the silence when he heard four tires in crunching the snow as they parked in front of his house. He immediately recognized the faint heartbeat; it was one of those sounds he was so in tune with that he could probably pick it out in a room full of people.
"Oh no. Shit no." He begged not wanting her to ruin his night. He ducked down in his chair hoping that she'd get the hint and leave. He didn't want her there. He wanted to be alone for the first time in a long time.
"Damon?" Elena called. He didn't answer, he hoped she would just decide that he wasn't there and leave. But it wasn't often that Damon got what he wanted.
"Damon, your car is outside, I know you're here." Elena called as she walked further into the house, no doubt tracking snow all over the place. He still didn't answer desperately hoping she would just give up. He had to live with this unrequited love he had for her every other day of the week, why couldn't he get one night off?
"There you are, why didn't you answer me?" Elena demanded when she walked into the parlour.
"I didn't want to." He shrugged deciding to appear aloof.
"Why not? I came here tonight to hang out with you since the party was so lame." She told him.
"Why would you do that?" He demanded.
"The party was lame." She said shrugging.
"Why?" He demanded still not wanting her there.
"Fine I'll tell you. Caroline is on this major mission to get me and Stefan back together because she's afraid of how close we've been getting." Elena admitted.
"Ah, so you're hiding out here from psycho Blondie." Damon remarked with a smirk on his face.
"Not only that, I also wanted to spend tonight just hanging out with you." She told him.
"I'm sure that's what this is." He scoffed.
"I wanted to hang out with my friend. Just talk and visit, will that going be so hard?" She asked.
"Fine, let's talk. What do you want to talk about?" He asked her taking a deep drink out of his crystal tumbler.
"Can I have a drink? I feel like I'm in desperate need of one." She asked.
"Be my guest." He said dismissively. She stood up and poured herself a glass of bourbon and took a tentative sip.
"That's not as terrible as I feared." She decided after a moment.
"Hey, bourbon is the drink of the Gods. It is all I need after a long shitty day." He argued.
"Fine, so what's your favourite Christmas memory?" She asked trying to make conversation.
"I was thinking about that before you came in actually. My favourite memory is from back when I was 7 years old, my mother was still alive. I got a ball for Christmas and Stefan was just a baby." Damon recalled.
" I would have liked to see that." Elena admitted.
"What about you?" He asked.
"This one year Jeremy was about 8, my entire family went out to the lake house for Christmas. My dad made pancakes for breakfast Christmas morning and we opened our stockings and the rest of our presents. After we were all done we got dressed and went skating on the lake, which I know was so stupid because you never really know just how frozen it is. But it was fun, we spent the entire weekend just the four of us. I've never felt like that since." Elena admitted.
"The feeling of family? A bond that will never break?" He questioned.
"Yeah. Once my parents died Christmas was never the same. I still got amazing presents and I still spent it with amazing people but it wasn't the same. It's like there is a crucial part of Christmas missing from my life." Elena tried to explain.
"I know what you mean, after my mom died Christmas was never the same. Giuseppe got dark, it was like my mother was the light in his life and he somehow decided that her death was my fault. Nothing was ever the same after my mother died, especially Christmas. We stopped setting up trees, carolling, decorating. Stefan still got gifts but I was more or less abandoned." Damon recalled.
"That's terrible. I'm sorry about the way your childhood went." Elena said unsure of what to say.
"It wasn't your fault." Damon exclaimed looking at her.
"It doesn't matter, you deserve an apology from someone." Elena defended.
The room got silent after their discussion, the tension between them a giant elephant in the room. They could both feel the presence but couldn't figure out what to say.
"Look I know we should talk about us too." Elena murmured a few minutes later.
"There is no us." Damon muttered; but he didn't sound bitter, he sounded resigned.
"No matter how hard I try there is always an us." Elena corrected him.
"No there is tension, anger and denial." He argued.
"Yes there is but it's all part of who we are together." She argued back.
"If that's what this relationship is doomed to be then I'm out right now. I don't want to be around while you continue to deny your feelings to me." He told her firmly.
"It's kind of hard to deny something that's written across my face Damon. I can lie to myself, I can lie to Stefan, but I've never been able to lie to you. You've always known." Elena sighed.
"Yes I knew, but I haven't been able to do shit about it because you've always held all the cards. Before it was because you were with Stefan, then it was because you still loved him even though he was the worst version of himself. It was always him, I've never been able to catch a break." Damon muttered.
"Ever think it's because I was scared?" She demanded, her eyes tearing up, the truth coming out after all that time.
"Scared of what?" He asked, absolutely not expecting that answer.
"Everything. I'm scared of the immensity of your love, of the intensity. I'm scared that I don't think I could ever love you as much as you love me. I'm scared of waking up one morning and finding out that you're not there. You're the only one that has the power to hurt me, and it's always been easier to keep you at a distance so you couldn't." She explained, seemingly defeated.
"If you ever decided to be mine, you could rest assured that I would never leave you. I would be here until the very end." He vowed to her.
"What if I said I wanted to be yours?" She asked.
"I would say you have to prove it." He answered.
"If that's what you need, then that is what you're going to get." Elena promised as she moved to stand in front of the chair he was sitting in. She placed her hands on his shoulders and lowered herself until she was seated on his lap. He softly; almost nervously placed his hands on her thighs. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tentatively kissed him He stayed still under her and she pulled away.
"You think that convinces me?" He asked slightly breathless.
"What more do you need?" She asked.
"I need to hear you say it." He told her.
"Say what?" She asked.
"You know what. I am not taking this further until I know this is more than just tonight. It's Christmas, and I really don't want to add tonight to the list of worst Christmas's ever." He told her.
"You want me to tell you I love you." She stated.
"I won't sleep with you until you do." He told her.
"Well I do, does that make you happy?" She asked.
"Say the words." He insisted.
"Fine, I Elena Gilbert love you Damon Salvatore." She murmured dramatically. He smiled beautifully and swooped in kissing her senseless. "Say it again."
"I love you, I love you, I love you." She murmured between pecks to his lips.
"I love you too." He whispered before pulling her close to his body.
"If I asked you to, would you make love to me?" She asked looking up at him from under her eyelashes.
"It wouldn't take much convincing." He allowed.
"How much convincing would it take for you to take me right here on the floor in front of the fireplace?" She asked.
"Not much" He said gently pushing her up off his lap. She slowly pulled her shirt off and dropped it to the floor.
"Okay, I'm convinced." He agreed standing up and following her over to the Persian rug sitting in front of the fireplace. He pulled off his shirt revealing his toned upper body and dropped it on the floor with hers as he walked over to where she was standing.
"I can still hear your heartbeat, even now." He murmured as he placed his hands on her chest, over her heart.
"It's beating like crazy, I didn't think I'd ever feel that again." She replied. He leaned down and kissed her and she covered his hand that was still resting on her chest with her hand.
"Wow." He whispered feeling the soft beating under his palm. He slowly dropped to his knees taking her with him. Damon pulled her against his chest and kissed her with everything he had.
He kissed her like his life depended on it.
Damon lowered her to the carpet and rested above her on his arm. With his free hand he gripped her hips and ground his pelvis into hers. The kiss increased in passion and she opened her mouth welcoming his tongue. He reached between their bodies and popped the button on her jeans, he sat up on his knees and slowly pulled the denim down her legs. He tossed them over his shoulder and slowly repeated the action with her panties. He bent down and kissed her passionately, he moved down her neck and chest. He continued his path down, completely bypassing the area where she wanted him most. He kissed her thigh and went over to the other side.
"Damon..." She begged writhing underneath him.
"I'm not going to make you come like this, I want you to come with me inside you." He told her.
"Please." She begged.
"I am going to make love to you Elena, not fuck you. This is our first time and it's going to be slow and tender." He told her pointedly.
"I thought slow and tender wasn't your thing?" She asked.
"It is tonight." He told her. She nodded and pulled him down on top of her.
"You can make love to me any time since you're not going to make me come any other way." She urged.
"Don't worry." He said standing up and very slowly unzipped his pants.
"God, speed up Damon." She demanded as she writhed against the carpet. He smirked and whipped off his pants before dropped back to his knees. She sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down on top of her. His erection lied between the folds of her sex and she jerked upwards.
"Shit, please I need you now." She begged, circling her hips against his cock. He slipped his cock against her folds causing her to moan loudly. He reared back enough so just the head could press up against her opening, she raked her nails into his back causing the smell of blood to envelop them both. He pressed forward and slid inside her entirely and she moaned loudly. They fought against their blood-lust as he began moving inside her. He pulled out until just his tip remained inside and slammed back down. She choked out a sound and pressed her eyes tightly shut.
"Open your eyes, I need to see you when you come for me." He insisted his voice low and passion filled. She pried open her eyes and locked her gaze on his as she felt herself quicken.
"I'm so close." She breathed. She sighed and breathed his name over and over again as the waves of her orgasm started taking over. He kept up his rhythm until his body went stiff as he let go. He buried his head in her neck as he spilled deep inside her, breathing her name.
"God I love you." He panted as he recovered from his orgasm.
"I love you too. I'm sorry it took so long to figure that out." She answered.
"We should probably move this upstairs before Stefan comes home." Damon said sitting up.
"You're probably right." She murmured.
"This was a good Christmas." She sighed as they walked upstairs hand in hand.
"Probably the best." He agreed.