Chapter One
"Jacob, I'm home," Bella smiled as she walked through the door after a day of shopping. Bella walked into her living room carrying her cloth bag with a few days' worth of groceries in it. She saw her husband's car in the driveway and alerted him of her arrival. She sat her keys on the hall table. She set her purse beside them. She walked through the living room and into the kitchen. She was surprised to see no sign of her husband of four years. Quickly she put together dinner and threw the chicken into the oven.
Bella walked up the wooden stairs and headed towards her bedroom. On her way she overheard Jacob's voice speaking to someone.
"I know, just give me some time. Damn it, I know. Don't raise your voice at me. I'm going to tell her. Yes, calm down. I know, I know and I am happy and excited about it too, I just need some time."
Figuring he was talking about a court case he was handling, Bella ignored the rest of the conversation and made her way to the bedroom. She changed from her jeans and blouse to her black yoga pants and green lime green tank top. As she picked up her discarded clothes, she looked up at her wedding picture. She stared at the woman and man in the picture who had all but become strangers. For the last two years Bella and Jacob had gone through the motions of a married couple. They went out on dates and made each other smile, but long gone were the days of them showing each other how much they loved each other. On occasion they fooled around but they hadn't made love in almost two year.
Jacob and Bella had known each other since they were children but had been high school sweethearts, although he was two years older than her. They had met through Jasper, Bella's older brother. Jasper and Jacob were the best of friends, but Jasper was a little apprehensive when he wanted to date his baby sister. To his surprise, they lasted through high school and different colleges. Jacob proposed when Bella graduated from college. They had been relocated from Seattle to Phoenix Arizona away from their family and friends due to Jacob accepting a job with a law firm near where he had studied law. Bella figured since he moved back home to wait for her to graduate from college that there was no thought. She would move with him. They married soon after the move.
They were happy for the first two years. Their marriage was effortless and second nature. Worried that their love life would go down the drain due to Jacob's busy school and work schedule and Bella not being able to find a job, they were surprised how easy their relationship was.
Then it happened. Bella found out she was pregnant. Both she and Jacob were over the moon with the news. It seemed like it was the next progression in their long relationship. Godparents were named and the room was painted blue. Little Sean was also nestled in his mother's stomach and moved whenever his father touched her swollen stomach. They couldn't wait to show Sean the world.
At almost eight months Bella went for her monthly check up. She was worried because she hadn't felt the baby move in a day or so. The nurse told her that sometimes it was common and calmed her down. Unfortunately Bella's worse fears came true. Little Sean stopped moving around because the umbilical cord had knotted. Immediately Bella had gone to the hospital to deliver her dead son. Jacob had flown from work to be at his wife's side. Once they saw their tiny lifeless son, they both cried for everything that could have been. Their hopes and dreams for the young child were simply gone.
After Sean's passing, Bella and Jacob had the support of their friends. Everyone close to them had flown to be with them. Edward, who was her surrogate brother, stayed with her and held her. He and his wife Tanya were there for her as well as Jacob. They took the longest leave from their jobs and stayed the longest to help their friends pick up the pieces of their broken heart.
When their house was empty and they were alone, Jacob and Bella felt awkward. They felt like strangers.
Often Bella wondered what little Sean would have been like now. She would have a two year old toddler on her hands. Would they have tried for another child? They both always wanted a house full of children. She didn't think that was in her future. After all, she and Jacob barely carried on a conversation let alone spoke about expanding their family.
Bella pealed her eyes away from the wedding picture and deep thoughts. She put on her slippers and began to make her way down stairs. She looked in Jacob's office and saw the door opened but he wasn't there. She hoped he didn't have to go back to work.
She climbed down the stairs and went back into the kitchen. She began to chop and dice the ingredients for their salad. She had sat the table and was ready to throw the chicken on top of the salad when she heard the screen door open. She looked up and saw Jacob walking in.
"Chicken salad for dinner?" he asked.
Bella nodded. "Yes. I was hungry and I wanted something quick. Plus didn't you say you had the meeting with the client tonight at eight? I figured you didn't want to fill up on too much before you went to dinner."
Jacob felt a pang of guilt ripple through his body. She was still very sweet and courteous to him, especially when he didn't deserve it. "You're right. I had to meet about the Andrews case. You remembered."
"There is very little I forget," Bells offered a smile as she looked at her husband. She placed the dinner plates on the table and then the bowl of salad.
Looking at her, Jacob sincerely said, "thank you."
"Jacob its just dinner, it isn't anything special," Bella said as she grabbed a bottle of red wine and sat down. She poured them both a glass. They sat in silence as they ate. Jacob played with his food before looking at his wife. When she felt his eyes on her, she spoke up. "Jake, is everything all right? You keep looking at me and haven't eaten. What's going on?"
Taking a big gulp of wine, Jacob sat up and looked at his wife. His first true love and his first everything. He took a deep breath and began talking. "There is something I need to tell you. Please just listen to me before you say anything. Can you promise me that?"
"Of course, what is going on?"
"I think you'd agree that things have been torn between us for a while, am I right?"
Sipping her wine, she nodded. "I think that is a fair assumption to make, but we try, right? I mean I don't hate you, you don't hate me. We love each other. We-we-we just have a few kinks to work out. Dr. Patterson says-"
Jacob stopped her. "Bells, I don't want to talk about your therapy sessions although I'm glad they are helping. We need to talk about us."
"What-what about us Jacob?" Bella looked into Jacob's eyes. They were empty. Tears fell from them. "Jake, what is going on here? You're scaring me."
"You know I love you right?" He asked crying.
Bella reached for his hand and squeezed it with one hand. With her other hand she wiped the tears from his face and held her hand on his skin. "Jacob, baby, what's wrong?"
"I just don't want you to hate me. You're my best friend," he cried.
"Well whatever it is can't be that bad, can it? I mean it's me, remember? Do you remember when we were kids and we had a fight in the mud and we dragged it all over the Masens' new white carpet and you took the blame for me? Esme didn't kill you then, did she? This can't be that bad."
"Its bad Bells, its real bad."
"Why don't you let me be the judge and tell me."
Jacob took a deep breath. He knew any kind of relationship he had with Bella was about to come to an end. He let go of her hands and sat back in his chair. "I did something bad Bells."
"Start from the beginning and just tell me Jake."
"I don't know how to tell you this so please just let me tell you without you interrupting me." Jacob paused. "I, well, I started working late and most of the time I really am working. I worked hard and provide for us. I have been ignoring you since Sean's death and I'm sorry. I haven't been a good man or a good husband."
"Jacob, there is no time line to when the grieving is over. I'm not over it and for the record you have been a good husband."
Jacob scoffed. "No I really haven't. I haven't been a good friend or husband tto you.I left you all those nights I was working. We haven't made love since you were pregnant and it's my fault. I was afraid that you would become pregnant and we'd lose another baby all over again. I know that sounds lame."
"It's an honest feeling honey."
"Bells-"
"No Jacob, I have no reason to be upset by that. We will get back to us when you have worked through your own feelings. I will wait for you. For better or for worse, right?" Jacob stood up and walked to the counter. He turned his back towards Bella. She got up and placed her arms around his waist. "You know if you need to talk to someone I can ask-"
"No, no therapy Bella. I'm-it's just that I" Jacob stopped and began to cry again. "I had an affair and she's pregnant."
Bella backed away from him and shook her head continuously. "What? What? What do you mean you had an-and she's? What the hell are you talking about Jacob Black? I don't understand."
"Bells, I've been having an affair for months, almost six months now. She is pregnant with my baby."
Placing her face in her hands, she began to sob. She took a few deep breaths and pulled herself together while Jacob still cried. "You know what Jake, I can forgive you for this. Just call it off. Come to therapy with me. We can work through this. This is something I can't forgive you for overnight for but I will. We will get through this. As for the baby," Bella took a deep breath and crossed her arms as she looked at Jacob who was still crying. "It isn't the child's fault that it was created under the circumstances. There is no reason for me to resent it. I can love it. We can take one of the bedrooms upstairs and make it into a nurs-"
In a barely audible whisper Jacob spoke again. "I love her Bella."
"Of course you love her, you're her father Jacob. I'm sure I'll love her too. We can work on split custody arrangements and-"
"Leah, I love Leah Bells."
Bella looked at Jacob wide eyed. The very first friend she made when they moved to Phoenix was Leah Clearwater. Bella had met her at the library. They hit it off and became close friends. Leah volunteered to clean the house after Sean's death. When Leah was laid off of her job almost a year ago, Bella spoke to Jacob about hiring her as his secretary. He was hesitant at first but hired her.
"Leah? You got Leah pregnant?" Bella shouted. "You mean my best friend here Jacob? You mean you not only went behind my back but you fell in love with someone else too? You feel in love with the one person I was closest to here?"
"Bella, I?"
"You what? You fucking love her? I all ready heard you say that. I was ready to move on with you and forgive you for not keeping your dick in your pants. I was ready to play part time mom to your bastard child but I won't get the chance to, will I?"
"I really do love you Bella."
"Go to hell. You fucked her when I was alone here, didn't you? All of those late night client meetings were a load of shit, weren't they? All those nights when I just wanted to show you how much I loved you, you turned me away it was because your dick was all ready wet in another woman. You lied to me. I am your wife you lied to me. More than being your wife, I was your best friend. You know everything that I have been through in my twenty seven years on this planet this is about the worse. I didn't get a choice when my mother died of cancer or when my dad was shot and killed while he was at work. I was eleven and had no one parents. Thank god my parents were close with Ed and Esme or else Jasper and I would have been separated. We don't have a blood family. I love Billy and Sara as if they were my parents. They have always been in my life. Billy walked me down the aisle when we got married and now I don't get the choice of not being their daughter any more, do I? I never got a choice in all of that, just like I didn't get a choice when Sean died. I don't get a choice now. You have completely disgusted me Jacob. You have caused me more pain than any of those other events. I hate you, I really do."
Jacob walked over to Bella and reached for her hand. "Bells-"
"What? I wasn't good enough to touch before this conversation and now you can't get enough? Well fuck you Jacob Black, fuck you!" She yelled before stopping at the table. She took her wine glass and threw it at his head. The red wine splattered all over the wall and floor. The dark crimson droplets reminded her of her heart breaking slowly. She fell to her knees and cried. "I hate you. How could you do this to me? Leave me the fuck alone." She cried on the floor. It felt as if the air around her ceased.
She didn't know how much time had passed when she stopped crying. She looked up and saw Jacob sitting at the dinner table. He was tired and looked exhausted. Bella got up and walked towards the table where she picked up the bowl of left over salad. Jacob watched her before he spoke up.
"There is one more thing I need to tell you."
"I can't wait to hear what this surprise could possibly be. Haven't you already done enough to me for one night?"
"I think we should separate."
"Fuck you, we are getting divorced. We can't work this out Jacob, no way."
"I'm just saying if things between Leah and I don't-"
Bella looked at him and threw the salad bowl beyond him and in between two windows. "Now you want me as a backup wife? In case the mistress doesn't work out? Are you fucking high?"
"Bella, I'm still a respectable lawyer around her. How is this going to look?"
"You should have thought of that while you were fucking her and not your wife. You are so unbelievable."
"Believe it or not I do love you."
"I get it you just love her more."
"It isn't like that."
"Really? You've got to be kidding me." Bella looked at Jacob and shook her head. "I don't think I want to talk to you anymore."
"We need to get one more thing sorted while we are on the topic."
"You are just full of surprises tonight. What else is there? She's pregnant with twin? Not only is she giving you the baby that I couldn't give to you alive she's giving you two?" Bella spat.
Afraid of her reaction, Jacob took a few steps backwards. "I-like I was saying I think we should separate."
"Don't worry I'm calling Tanya as soon as this conversation is over," Bella said referring to Edward's wife. She was also a top notch lawyer in Seattle.
"I want you out of the house."
"Excuse me?"
"Leah lives in an apartment and I would like her to move in here. We have a backyard and-"
Tears swelled up in her eyes again. "You're kicking me out of our house? The one we painted and decorated together? The one we went through and bought furniture for? You're kicking me out of our dream house?"
"Bella-"
"Fine, let me pack a few things and I'll be out of your hair. I'll go live in my car since you took the only friend I had!" she yelled as she stomped away. She ran up the stairs and into their room. She slammed the door and locked it behind her. She ran into the bathroom and threw up her wine and cried.
"Bella, let me in, please?" Jacob yelled from behind the first closed door. She turned on the shower water and tried to block him out. When that didn't work, she walked over to the iHome speakers and blared music loudly. She grabbed her phone and ignored the pounding and yelling behind the door. She slammed the door to her walk in closet and locked the door. She scrolled through her phone book and found the name she was looking for.
Bella grabbed her ringing phone. Edward. He always seemed like he knew when Bella needed to talk to him. He was always in her corner since they were children. Before her parents had died, Edward had loved Bella as a big brother. He always tried to defend her and more importantly just be there for her. Now in her time of need, he seemed to just know and was on the phone calling her. She blared the music and walked into her walk in closet. She made herself cozy on the floor as she answered it.
"Bells! What's up?" Edward happily asked. Tears poured from her eyes and heavy breathing started before she could replay. Edward was worried. "Bella, what's wrong? Are you crying?"
Sniffling, Bella began to answer him. "It's bad Edward, this is bad."
"What are you talking about? Where's Jake? What's going on?"
"Jacob is leaving me. He had a mistress and got her pregnant and wants me out of the house. I'm homeless Edward. I'm nothing to the no good son of a bitch. Nothing!"
"Slow down Bells, take a deep breath. Things are going to be okay," Edward promised. He wasn't sure what she was talking about. She was speaking so quickly and was crying. It didn't make sense to him. Edward was speechless. He and Tanya had just visited last month and Jacob had said nothing about being unfaithful, but then again he wouldn't dare to speak to Edward about it. Edward wasn't an overly built man but Jacob knew that Edward would at least try and kill to make sure Bella was okay. "Bella, I don't even know what to say." He paused to hear her whimper on the other end. He looked at his wife curiously before he spoke up. "I do know what to say. I'm going to try and get a flight out tonight to Phoenix and I'm going to help you pack and then we are going to drive back here. I'll rent a car and a U-Hal and we can have a road trip. When we get back to Seattle you can stay with Tan and me until you can get back on your feet. Or you can stay with my mom and dad. And Bella, It doesn't matter if it means next week or next year. Our home is your home. Take the time you need."
Bella began to cry once more. "How could he? How could he do this to me Edward? I love him and it just hurts so much Edward. It hurts so much."
There were no words to comfort her. As Bella cried her heart out, Edward's heart broke just a little. He had promised Jasper that he was going to protect Bella since Jasper lived so far away and Edward was failing miserably at it. "I can't imagine what you are feeling now and I'm sorry honey, I really really am."
"Thank you but, Edward, I can't ask you to drop your life for me. I'll figure it out, honestly I will. I just feel like my world is ending right now and need to vent about it."
"Honey, Tanya just found a flight. I'm leaving in less than two hours. I'll see you in about five. Do me a favor though?"
"You don't have to do this Edward."
"Yes I do. You're coming home. If you don't want to stay with me, mom and dad would love to have you home, I'm sure."
"No Edward, it's too much. I can't ask that of you."
"Good thing you aren't asking. We're family Bella, this is what we do. Now I'll see you tonight. I want you to do something for me though."
"What's that?" Bella asked as she wiped her eyes with her sleeves.
"First of all if you need to talk call Tanya. She's going to be home working. Call her. I'll be on the plane so I won't be able to talk to."
"I can manage that."
"Good and the most important thing is to dry your tears and tell Jacob that you are going to Home Depot to buy boxes and start to pack. Also tell Jacob I'm on my way and if he says another syllable to you I will kick his ass. Since I'm coming and he might want to leave or risk the chance I might knock him unconscious. Do you understand my direction?"
"Yes I do. Thank you Edward."
"Don't thank me. I'll call Carlisle and have him cover for me. He owes me anyway because I took care of his shift while he went away on vacation with his kids. Bella you are family and this is what we do. I love you and I'll see you in a few hours. Hang in there. I'm on my way."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet. I'll see you in a few hours. I'll call you when I leave the airport." Edward pause hearing her softly cry again. It killed him to hear it but he didn't want to upset her any more. "I love you kiddo."
Sniffling, she spoke back to Edward. "I love you too. Use your key in case I'm busy upstairs packing my stuff."
After hanging up the phone, Bella took a deep breath. She went into the bathroom and washed the makeup off her face. She brushed her teeth and looked at the door. The knocking had stopped. Bella peaked out the bedroom window and saw that Jacob's car was still in the driveway. She shut off the music and began down the stairs. Jacob was sitting in the living room waiting for her.
"Can we finish talking now, please?" Jacob begged.
Biting her lip, Bella looked at Jacob. No tears threatened to leave but rage filled every fiber of her being. "I think we've talked enough. You win Jake. I'll be out of here. I'm going to buy some boxes and start packing."
"Bella, I didn't mean you had to leave immediately"
"No, it's fine. Edward is flying in tonight and I'm leaving tomorrow with him to go back to Washington."
"What?" Jacob asked surprised. "That's crazy. Don't go back to Washington. Stay here. We can-"
"What Jacob? We can work it out? I don't think so. You have made it very clear to me that you want me out of this house and want a life without me in it. I'm going home to where people love me and care about me."
"You bought this house too. You bought the things inside it. This is your house too Bella."
"Funny, you didn't say that an hour ago when you told me you wanted your mistress to move in here. Honestly Jake, I can't do this. I'll talk to Tan in a few days when I am settled and I'll have her send you the papers for divorce. Keep everything; I really don't give a damn. I want this part of my life to be over with and fast. You have all ready taken some of the best years of my life and thrown them away. I'm not wasting any more time with you. You hurt me bad Jacob. We had a life together. Granted over the last two years it had been rocky but I always thought you loved me. I honestly thought we'd be able to work through it. I thought we'd get a bigger house and yes, I thought we'd have more kids together. I dreamt of playing outside with them on the swing set and slide. I dreamt that I would make love to my husband again. You have broken all of my dreams. I can't be a dreamer anymore."
"I love you," Jacob told her as he held her hand.
Bella took her hand back. "It doesn't matter anymore, does it? You are with someone else now. You created a new life while betraying me, both of you did. I'm done Jake. When I get back from the store I don't want you here. We'll probably leave tomorrow afternoon. Don't come back before then. I'll leave my keys and whatever else I don't want. Sell it, donate it, burn it for all I care, I just need the items to be gone." She paused as tears came to her eyes again. "Tell Billy and Sara I love them and I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you Jacob. I really am," she cried as she grabbed her purse and ran out the door. She piled into her car and cried. She looked up and saw Jacob running towards her in his bare feet. He was yelling for her. Bella started her car and left.
"This is it?" Edward asked as he saw the small pile of boxes that were packed. "Swan, you have a lot of work to do! Get to it!"
Bella shook her head. She and Edward had just arrived back after eating dinner. "No, I'm pretty much done. I have my clothes, pictures and some of Sean's things but that's all I want with me. I'm leaving everything else. I don't want to be reminded of him. Once I walk out this door I'm done. I don't want any reminders. Just like with Sean I'll mourn and move on."
Edward patted Bella's back. "You're brave kid, I couldn't do what you are doing with the face you are putting on. You do know that you don't have to pretend with me though, right? You can cry with me."
"I know and trust me, that will come later, maybe on the way home? When we actually leave the house and I know I'm not coming back."
"Whenever you need to, I'm here and I have strong shoulders to hold you up when you cry."
"I really do love you, thank you for being here."
"It's my job. Emmett wanted to come with me but I was afraid he'd hunt Jacob down and rip his head off so I talked him into staying home," Edward said as he saw Bella yawn. "You've had an emotional day today and we are leaving early tomorrow. You should take a shower and go to bed."
"That sounds like a good idea. Than-"
"Stop it! Stop saying it. Stop it!" Edward pretended to rant as he covered his ears. He earned a laugh from Bella. "See, I knew you had it in you. You go bathe and relax. I'm going to load what you have into the truck so we can be on our way in the morning."
Bella nodded and went to take a shower. Edward was right. She was sleepy and ready for bed. After she dried her hair and put her pajamas on, she crawled into bed. She was almost asleep when she started crying uncontrollably. She gasped for air because she was crying so hard.
"Bella?" Edward asked as he came into the room in his lounge pants and t shirt. "Are you all right?"
Violently, Bella shook her head. "No I'm not. How am I going to get by Edward? I don't know how to be single. I have only been with Jacob since I was fourteen. What's going to happen to me?" she continued to cry.
"Shhh, it's all right. You'll be fine. You'll come to the château de Masen and enjoy your extended stay there. You'll eventually visit with people who have missed you and who love you. It will take time but you will get back on your feet and when the time is right you will meet a man who is madly in love with you. He'll be thankful for Jacob's stupidity because Jacob's mistakes will be this guy's gain. He'll have the most beautiful and caring woman with him as his partner for life."
"Your right," she whispered, "But it's just getting beyond that point."
"You will Bells. Look at everything you have survived thus far. This is just another thing that sucks along the way but will prove you to be stronge."
Bella nodded as she laid back down. "Hey Edward?"
"Yes?"
"Can you, I mean can you stay here for the night with me?"
"Eww, you want me to sleep with my sister?" Edward laughed. Seeing that Bella only half smiled, he nodded his head. It wouldn't be the first time they had shared a bed. He did want to make her feel safe. "That's gross Swan, but for you I will make an exception. Don't hog the covers."
The next morning came quickly. Bella looked around one more time and found Edward sitting at the cozy breakfast nook sipping coffee. "I'm ready."
"You sure?" Edward asked as he watched Bella shake her head. "Okay then, we're off."
Bella walked with Edward to the door. She was playing with her hands when she remembered her wedding and engagement rings. She shook and began to cry once more as she took them off. "I have never taken my wedding ring off. Even when I was pregnant I never got super big and never swelled. I never had a reason to take them off. But," she said as she slid both rings off, "here they are, with my house key." She looked around one more time and held onto Edward's hand. "I think I'm ready now. Let's go."
With that statement, Bella followed held Edward's hand and walked with him out to the car. In the short twenty four hours her life has she knew it was over. She wondered what the future held for her.