DISCLAIMER: I do not own Squaresoft's or Nintendo's characaters and animemaster (all lowercase) hopefully will not sue me because I am his friend...
_______________________________________________________________________Interviews
By:
Kile Terro
_______________________________________________________________________
Kile is sitting at a desk on what looks like a tonight show set
Kile: Welcome, I am Kile. Today we will talk with various heroes, heroines, and villains from various video games. Let's welcome our first guest: Cloud Strife from Final fantasy VII!
Cloud walks out onto the set and sits on a chair near the desk
CLOUD
Kile: Welcome to the show, Mr. Strife.
Cloud: Glad to be here, just call me Cloud, though.
Kile: I...can't...my producer is aiming a gun at me right...now...and will fire if I do.
Kile looks behind the audience from his desk
Cloud: ...
Cloud looks around.
Kile: OH! Questions! Where are those questions? Here they are. Mr. Strife, where were you born?
Cloud: Nibelheim.
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: HEY! I THOUGHT YOU WERE CREATED FIVE YEARS AGO BY HOJO!
Kile rests his head on his hands
Kile: animemaster, will you be quiet!?
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: OKAY!
Kile: Anyhow, are you planning on being in any future video games?
Cloud: Not really...Squaresoft uses their characters once, in my case I was used three times FFVII, Ehrgeiz, and FF Tactics, then they send their characters straight to Hell.
Kile sits motionless
Kile: ...Well, I guess I'll bring out the next guest: Kuja Tribal from Final Fantasy IX!
Kuja walks out onto the set and sits in the chair were Cloud used to sit, Cloud moved down a seat
KUJA
Kile appears confused
Kile: W-welcome to the s-show, K-Kuja...?
Kuja looks behind himself then at Kile
Kuja: What?
Kile: What the bloody Hell are you?!
Kuja: What do you mean by that?
Kile: WHAT are you, a dude a chick? I can't freaking tell!
Kuja is annoyed
Kuja: I am a male!
Kile: Sorry about that, I couldn't tell. Moving right along, how are your feelings on not being the Final Boss in FF IX?
Kuja: I am pissed about that! I was in my ultimate form and then once I was defeated someone having nothing to do with the story pops up! Damn that Necron!
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: GET A HAIRCUT, YOU FREAK!
Kile: Shuddup, animemaster!
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: Sorry!
Cloud: I agree with animemaster.
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: Yeah-heh!
Kuja jumps up
Kuja: That's it! We're fighting!
Cloud accepts and the two begin to fight
Cloud has Kuja in a headlock
Kile: Gentlemen!
Cloud looks around
Cloud: Someone come in?
Kile: No, you two! Break it up! I'm doing my damnedest to put on an entertaining show.
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: Hey! It's entertaining!
Kile: animemaster, will you be quiet?! Hahh. I guess we should bring out the next guest: Princess Zelda from The Legend of Zelda!
Zelda walks out on the set while the other two guests move each move down a seat.
ZELDA
Kile: So, Princess Zelda.
Zelda: Yes?
Kile:Are you bisexual?
Zelda is disgusted
Zelda: WHAT!!!???
Kile: Well in Ocarina of Time your alter ego was a male Shieka named Shiek.
Zelda: Well, I had to have good disguise from Gannondorf and what better than the opposite sex?
Kile: It don't work so well in NYC...
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: HEY, ZELDA! TAKE IT OFF!
Zelda jumps out of her seat
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: Sh-!
He jumps out of his seat and is chased around the set by Zelda.
Kile: Finally.
Zelda walks back to her seat next to the desk
Kile: Z-Zelda? What did you do with animemaster?
Cloud: She blinded him with a Deku Nut and she seduced him.
Everyone laughs
Kuja: No, I think she transformed into Shiek and raped him!
This got a bigger laugh from the audience, Kile, Kuja, and Cloud
Kile looks at Zelda and her expression
Kile: EVERYONE, GET DOWN!!!
The audience and Kile duck just as Zelda explodes with anger and beats the crap out of Cloud and Kuja
Kile peeks over his desk
Kile: Um, b-before any-anyone gets, uh, hurt, I'm calling out the, ah, next guest: Serge from Chrono Cross!"
Serge walks out onto the set while Zelda moves down a seat...and picks up the other two guests moving them down a seat
Serge
Kile: Serge, welcome to the show.
No answer
Kile sits motionless
Kile: ...Sooo, Serge, you are the hero of the sequel to the masterpiece Chrono Trigger, correct?
Serge nods
Kile leans back to hear a voice right behind him
VOICE BEHIND THE CURTAIN: WHAT HAPPENED TO CRONO?!
Kile turns the chair around quickly facing the wide black curtains behind him
Kile: animemaster, what ARE you doing?
animemaster: Zelda tied me up, gagged me, then hung me up on this pole behind the curtains.
Kile: Serge will you bring Mr. Strife and Kuja back to the world of the living for me?
Serge nods and uses his elements on Cloud and Kuja.
Kile: Wait a minute! If she gagged you how are you speaking?
animemaster: I ate the gag.
Kile (Disbelief): It wasn't a ball-gag was it? I don't want to have to drive you to the hospital to get your stomach pumped.
animemaster is silent for a minute
animemaster: Start the car, Kile, we need to go to the hospital...*whimper*.
Kile: Serge, will you untie animemaster and bring him out from behind the curtains.
Serge nods
Kile gets up and walks in front of his desk
Kile: Okay, this concludes our show, I hope you enjoyed it, I need to take my friend animemaster to the hospital now. I would like to thank our guests Serge, Zelda, Kuja, and Cloud for coming.
Just then a bullet comes out from behind the audience and pierces Kile's leg
Kile: DAMN! Serge, You're driving, the producer got me!
END
_______________________________________________________________________Interviews
By:
Kile Terro
_______________________________________________________________________
Kile is sitting at a desk on what looks like a tonight show set
Kile: Welcome, I am Kile. Today we will talk with various heroes, heroines, and villains from various video games. Let's welcome our first guest: Cloud Strife from Final fantasy VII!
Cloud walks out onto the set and sits on a chair near the desk
CLOUD
Kile: Welcome to the show, Mr. Strife.
Cloud: Glad to be here, just call me Cloud, though.
Kile: I...can't...my producer is aiming a gun at me right...now...and will fire if I do.
Kile looks behind the audience from his desk
Cloud: ...
Cloud looks around.
Kile: OH! Questions! Where are those questions? Here they are. Mr. Strife, where were you born?
Cloud: Nibelheim.
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: HEY! I THOUGHT YOU WERE CREATED FIVE YEARS AGO BY HOJO!
Kile rests his head on his hands
Kile: animemaster, will you be quiet!?
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: OKAY!
Kile: Anyhow, are you planning on being in any future video games?
Cloud: Not really...Squaresoft uses their characters once, in my case I was used three times FFVII, Ehrgeiz, and FF Tactics, then they send their characters straight to Hell.
Kile sits motionless
Kile: ...Well, I guess I'll bring out the next guest: Kuja Tribal from Final Fantasy IX!
Kuja walks out onto the set and sits in the chair were Cloud used to sit, Cloud moved down a seat
KUJA
Kile appears confused
Kile: W-welcome to the s-show, K-Kuja...?
Kuja looks behind himself then at Kile
Kuja: What?
Kile: What the bloody Hell are you?!
Kuja: What do you mean by that?
Kile: WHAT are you, a dude a chick? I can't freaking tell!
Kuja is annoyed
Kuja: I am a male!
Kile: Sorry about that, I couldn't tell. Moving right along, how are your feelings on not being the Final Boss in FF IX?
Kuja: I am pissed about that! I was in my ultimate form and then once I was defeated someone having nothing to do with the story pops up! Damn that Necron!
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: GET A HAIRCUT, YOU FREAK!
Kile: Shuddup, animemaster!
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: Sorry!
Cloud: I agree with animemaster.
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: Yeah-heh!
Kuja jumps up
Kuja: That's it! We're fighting!
Cloud accepts and the two begin to fight
Cloud has Kuja in a headlock
Kile: Gentlemen!
Cloud looks around
Cloud: Someone come in?
Kile: No, you two! Break it up! I'm doing my damnedest to put on an entertaining show.
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: Hey! It's entertaining!
Kile: animemaster, will you be quiet?! Hahh. I guess we should bring out the next guest: Princess Zelda from The Legend of Zelda!
Zelda walks out on the set while the other two guests move each move down a seat.
ZELDA
Kile: So, Princess Zelda.
Zelda: Yes?
Kile:Are you bisexual?
Zelda is disgusted
Zelda: WHAT!!!???
Kile: Well in Ocarina of Time your alter ego was a male Shieka named Shiek.
Zelda: Well, I had to have good disguise from Gannondorf and what better than the opposite sex?
Kile: It don't work so well in NYC...
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: HEY, ZELDA! TAKE IT OFF!
Zelda jumps out of her seat
VOICE IN AUDIENCE: Sh-!
He jumps out of his seat and is chased around the set by Zelda.
Kile: Finally.
Zelda walks back to her seat next to the desk
Kile: Z-Zelda? What did you do with animemaster?
Cloud: She blinded him with a Deku Nut and she seduced him.
Everyone laughs
Kuja: No, I think she transformed into Shiek and raped him!
This got a bigger laugh from the audience, Kile, Kuja, and Cloud
Kile looks at Zelda and her expression
Kile: EVERYONE, GET DOWN!!!
The audience and Kile duck just as Zelda explodes with anger and beats the crap out of Cloud and Kuja
Kile peeks over his desk
Kile: Um, b-before any-anyone gets, uh, hurt, I'm calling out the, ah, next guest: Serge from Chrono Cross!"
Serge walks out onto the set while Zelda moves down a seat...and picks up the other two guests moving them down a seat
Serge
Kile: Serge, welcome to the show.
No answer
Kile sits motionless
Kile: ...Sooo, Serge, you are the hero of the sequel to the masterpiece Chrono Trigger, correct?
Serge nods
Kile leans back to hear a voice right behind him
VOICE BEHIND THE CURTAIN: WHAT HAPPENED TO CRONO?!
Kile turns the chair around quickly facing the wide black curtains behind him
Kile: animemaster, what ARE you doing?
animemaster: Zelda tied me up, gagged me, then hung me up on this pole behind the curtains.
Kile: Serge will you bring Mr. Strife and Kuja back to the world of the living for me?
Serge nods and uses his elements on Cloud and Kuja.
Kile: Wait a minute! If she gagged you how are you speaking?
animemaster: I ate the gag.
Kile (Disbelief): It wasn't a ball-gag was it? I don't want to have to drive you to the hospital to get your stomach pumped.
animemaster is silent for a minute
animemaster: Start the car, Kile, we need to go to the hospital...*whimper*.
Kile: Serge, will you untie animemaster and bring him out from behind the curtains.
Serge nods
Kile gets up and walks in front of his desk
Kile: Okay, this concludes our show, I hope you enjoyed it, I need to take my friend animemaster to the hospital now. I would like to thank our guests Serge, Zelda, Kuja, and Cloud for coming.
Just then a bullet comes out from behind the audience and pierces Kile's leg
Kile: DAMN! Serge, You're driving, the producer got me!
END