After The War

by writebabe

A Hannay Story

The saddest moment of his life was the realisation that he had never known her.

When he had been told of her death he had taken it with a sorrowful relief. For sure he had lost the wife and the woman that he loved, but the pretence was over. In that small telegraph came not only his devastation but his salvation also.

His heart had broken a little, and in the privacy of his own rooms he had shed a quiet tear or two. Yet the grief was gentle and quickly passed. How could he morn the passing of a person that he had not seen for years? For two years now Caroline had been no more than a faded photograph and the words of her last letter to him. His memory of her was select.

He remembered their first meeting, the scowl on her face, which had effortlessly melted into a smile at her brother's approach. Her remembered the blue gown she had worn to the midsummer's ball, and the small locket that had he hung around her neck. How they had danced and laughed. And she had taken his arm in a conspiracy to escape the dullness of society. They had spent the months in a glorious friendship; everything was as warm and perfect as the summer days. So full of joy that he had not wanted the days to end, with that in mind he had asked for a private audience with her father.

He had forgotten how that story ended. But knew that summer was over.

He had imagined coming home to find her here. Curled up in the library reading. It had made him feel queasy. The war had stripped of all energy for pretence and falsehood. He was not the kind of commander to show fear in front of his men, nor the kind to answer an honest question dishonestly. Now tired and battle weary he had no wish to return to the elaborate lie his wife and he had created for themselves. However upon his return he had discovered that all his practiced speeches about divorce and remaining friends were unnecessary. Only the declaration of Caroline's death waited for him in the library, neatly folded by a pile of his other unanswered post. He had stared at that telegram for almost twenty minutes, standing erect beside the desk, his fingertips resting on the blotter. It was too difficult to open. Not only because the words would mean that she was irrevocably dead, but also because it closed a chapter of his life that he had such hopes for. If only it had worked out the way he had wished. He was sure they could have been happy.

After a moment of reflection he tore open the envelope and read the words to himself. And felt nothing. It was with the same empty feeling he wandered around the castle and grounds. Ignoring his duties as the widower until Clarissa, his sister by law, asked him to help to close Caroline's life.

When he had finally found the courage to enter her rooms, he had simply walked around and around marvelling at the organisation that she had left.

Caroline had left the room as if she had only popped out for a weekend. Her pyjamas were folded neatly on her bed, her slippers lined up on the floor. Even her desk had a fresh blotter and paper in the trays. Everything remained untouched for the two years she had been away. If the maids who had cleaned had moved anything it was carefully replaced in its original position.

He walked slowly across the floor, suddenly aware at how quiet the building was. The only sound he could hear was his own footsteps and the rapid beating of his heart as she suddenly became very alive to him.

Beyond the castle walls it seemed even the birds had stopped their singing to mourn the passing of the lady of the House.

He stopped by the desk, glancing out of the large arched window towards the pond and the gardens. His fingers followed the curve back of the chair. From this desk, she had sat and wrote to him weekly. Before her letters were returned to her as undeliverable. Had she sat at this desk and wept at the uncertainty of his situation? Did she cry for him alone in her room?

He doubted it. His deceased wife was too guarded for that. No, Caroline would have calmly bound the letters together and put them away for safekeeping. And with her characteristic vigour and self control she would have packed her bag and disappeared in the middle of the night, leaving nothing by a carefully composed note for Clarissa. He tried to understand what selfish reasons she would have had to run after him and into the war. But his attempts were fruitless; shaking his head he sat at the desk and stared out across the lawn.

Richard moved his thoughts to a happier time. He remembered how she had sat here, after they had slipped away from the Easter ball. She said they would have a better view of the fireworks from here. He watched her silhouette in the moonlight. She had taken his hand and led him to the window. She had sat at this chair and he had stood behind her. Outside the fireworks had begun to explode, bathing them both in blue and green lights.

His hands were resting on the varnished wood of the chair, his fingers following the line of her shoulders up to her neck. It had been an involuntary movement. His concentration had solely on the fireworks outside, until in a moment of extreme embarrassment, he noticed the intimacy of his contact. The fingers were pulled quickly away from her neck, where his thumbs had been gently massaging her nape and in shock he stood back. He had expected repercussions. Another lady may have viewed his actions as an assault.

Instead Caroline had risen from the chair stating that the fireworks were over and they would be missed soon. In his nervousness he had began to offer a flustered apology, if not for feel of her skin beneath him, which he could not regret; but for the compromise of their friendship. She had smiled at him. Leant forward and kissed him briefly on the lips.

In that silent movement and gentle act she had not only ended his apology but all ideas he may have had of remaining friends. Richard shook his head it was to that moment he could attribute all the ensuing unhappiness.

Her perfume still filled this room now, as that night when she kissed him.

And he found that moment would not leave him He had at first cherished it as a happy moment, a time when they had loved each other. After their marriage that memory had strengthened his resolve to see this through in the hope that she could change. Finally, after the war had ripped all optimism from him, the memory mocked him; he had been a fool to believe that their marriage would ever have a happy ending.

Just lately he had tried not to think of her at all. Finding it best to believe that the last three years had not happened.

Leaning across he unlatched the window, wanting the scent of her to be gone; as she was gone. Only after removing all trace of her from his life, could he begin again. For a brief few moments he shuffled papers; lined up all her ink pens in a row and checked her inkwell was empty. Anything but start the inevitable task of delving into her private papers to decide what was to be kept and what was to be burned.

Slipping two fingers through the delicate brass handle, he gently pulled the drawn open. Everything in the paper-lined draw was a carefully arranged. The unused pencils were lined up to the right of him, held in place by her birthday book. Beneath this was her business address book, pieces of paper tied together with string and names listed in alphabetical order. Her personal address book was small leather bound volume. He had seen this when she had written down his London address when they had first met. But that had gone, together with a substantial amount of writing paper. He realised that Caroline must have had begun to write at the medical centre she had volunteered for. Briefly he wondered if those papers would be returned to him and if the letters to her few friends would explain anything to him.

A further discovery was to be made after the menial items had been removed. Beneath a blue silk scarf laid another, bigger book. He picked it up and weighed it in his hands. A heavy pile of paper, sewn together with string. Her diary.

At once all-purpose left him. He sat at her desk, opened the pages and began to read. Even though she was two months dead to him, he still felt like an intruder. But the papers had to be sorted; he wanted no one else to be there. A fire had been lit in the hearth and fresh linen on the bed. After his sister by law had cleared Caroline's dresses from the closet, he slowly moved himself into her room and began to un-ravel her life. Day-by-Day he would rise and open a page and begin to read. And every day he would become more drawn to the woman in the letters and diaries, and more distant from the wife he thought he had loved.

She had come from a very dark place. The scribbling of her youth gave testament to a young woman so full of love that it seemed nothing would every harm her. But the years marched on and as childish innocence gave way to maturity, her perceptions changed.

In her early life she had opened her arms wide to the world and beckoned it to come forth. Yet every attempt to love was met with despair. Her father scorned her for the girl child he did not want. For the baby that had ripped all life from her mother's womb to ensure that no further boys would be born to carry his line. To her mother she was nothing but a vessel into which to pour all her disillusionment and weakness. And so the loving little girl had turned sullen and cynical. The only moments of true joy were the school holidays when her brother, his friend would return.

He knew of her father. He had been party to the manipulative tendencies of the Earl; yet her mother was a shock to him. To Caroline her mother was a protected subject. Only once had he dared to ask of her, and then his only response was a smile and a whispered comment that she was 'lovely'

If only he had met Caroline then. When she was young and tender. He could of shown her love; he could have saved her. Yet that was impossible, as he had not met her brother yet.

The happiness of the words wilted in womanhood. The ink on the pages turned black and a shadow cast over her later years. There were suitors. Men came and went in her life. All spurned until her mother died.

But she had loved once. A name appeared in the middle of the story. A name without a description. When first he had seen it he had thought nothing of it; simply turned the page and reached for his tea. But the name kept springing from the page and telling the tale of the one man she would have married. A little love shone through.

He read until his candle gutted and the fire in the hearth burned out. Sitting upright in his chair with his eyes wide open and his fingers trembling. At once intrigue and angry. She had never mentioned this man. He had thought that he was the first she had even almost loved. Had not her brother told him that Caroline had never looked upon another man as she looked upon him?

But the words in her diary created in him a picture of a man handsome and strong and kind, who had come crashing into her life to rescue her from her sorrow. He was younger and more dashing than Richard had ever been. They had met at a theatrical recital. She had written how she had been bored and glancing across the audience. He had been sitting two rows back to her right. Their eyes had met and he had smiled, then slowly she had returned his smile, just long enough to hint at interest, but not too long to ensure that she had lost her reputation.

And so it began.

Richard continued to follow the romance in her words following it through the fragment words, the dances and the propositions. There were hints at a proposal. From her words is seemed that Caroline had expected it. And despite the poison offerings from her mother, she had wanted it. Her lines would have made quite the romantic novel. If he had not known it was his wife who was the heroine, he would have cheered her one, wished for a wedding and a happy ending. But if this romance worked out he would not have married her and for all the sorrow that marriage had given him, he would not wish she were with another.

The days turned to nights. Eventually he began to have meals brought to his room. The other occupants of the castle were becoming concerned by his seclusion. Cordelia had once managed to coax him down from the bedroom to join her and Guy for dinner. But the effort had proved time consuming. And after hours wait Richard had emerged looking so uncomfortable in his dinner suit that she had decided to allow him to be. Each decided upon a particular mode of grieving.

Her husband had decided upon a much more jolly kind of mourning. In the mornings at breakfast he would regal her with funny stories about his sister. These were stories that Cordelia had heard many times before, but never once would she appear bored or upset with them. For her sister by law had been as much a light in her own life as his.

Sometimes Guy would cry; then she would hold him until he gained control of himself. Or she would sit beside him and tell him of the times Caroline and she had walked in the gardens until late, talking and singing until the sun set and the night chill sent them retreating back to the castle.

In such moments Caroline would be with them again. And the grief world not be so strong.

Cordelia and Guy sat and talked and laughed about his dear departed sister, whilst, alone in her room, Richard read the volumes of diaries she had left.

Around her twentieth year her lovers name ceased to be mentioned anymore. It was strange that for a man who had made such in impact on her early years, he was so quickly erased. He did not make a dramatic exit; there was no incriminations or weeping. Richard turned the page and found that Caroline was alone.

She made no mention of how her fortunes had changed. A chapter closed. Even to her own private thoughts his departure was neither explained nor commented upon. Intrigued he found himself skipping pages. Before he had noted every word, ensured that he could fix her moods, and picture her in his mind. Now the days passed swiftly; paragraphs were skimmed until the story moved onwards and he made his entrance.

London was at it's busiest around Christmas. The streets were alive with carollers and shoppers. He picked his way through the crowds carefully, so as not to break the package beneath his arm. It was not that he was not in the festive spirit, but his own limited circle of family left him largely outside the celebrations. Every year he would wait in trepidation for the first invitation to intrude their gatherings. It was a plan that had worked for many years now. Usually he received one or two polite enquiries in early November, to which he would reply that he had no firm plans. A flurry of invitations would then arrive at the beginning of December leaving him time to ponder which he would chose to accept and to which he would offer a polite but grateful refusal. This year it had not quiet gone to plan. No invitations had arrived and it was now one week before Christmas and he was pondering a time alone in his club with no one but the confirmed bachelors as company. For a while he had sat in his rooms and pondered the misery of his Christmas, listening to the church bells suddenly feeling so alone. He liked to believe that self-pity was not in his make-up – that whatever the circumstances he would be happy with his own company. Yet the lack of interest from his friends this year had left him feeling very alone. Richard caught himself before the spiralling the misery engulfed him. There was only one solution to his problem. A fine bottle of whisky, a good book and something sweet to eat. With his plan firmly in his mind he had ventured out onto the streets of London.

A light fall of snow had coated everything in white. Above them the heavy grey clouds threatened more snow. It would be perfect Christmas weather.

He smiled as he passed some children scooping handfuls of snow from the walls and throwing it at a separate group across the street. The laughter lifted his mood. It was difficult to feel so alone in such a vibrant city. Richard walked swiftly towards the park and carried on his way with a spring in his step. His aim was the small bookstall on the other side of the green. A privately owed shop that had been passed down from generation to generation for as long as books had been in print. He had stumbled across it almost a year ago when chasing a thief down the alleyways. The chase had begun on the main carriageway. A woman had cried thief as she had reached for her purse, seconds later the urchin had come running past him and across the park. His nobler instincts had led him to give chase, weaving in and out of the promenades until he had reached the far side of the park. Just within sight he had seen the urchin disappear into a small alleyway by the butchers. Richard had followed and was immediately greeted by a dead end and an empty alleyway. Around him the towers stretched up to high to climb. And there was nothing in this alley except a small bookshop. He pushed open the black wooden door, a bell announcing his arrival. At once he was greeted with the smell of old paper. Floor to calling bookshelves were crammed with all kinds of reading material from mouldering bibles to stacks of newspapers and pamphlets. All thoughts of noble endeavour left him. Enthralled he made his way around the warren of bookcases and began to pick up items.

Of course now the shop had come one of his main haunts. One of those secrets he held about the city that he shared only with an elite few. The shopkeeper was a man called John who though of the lower classes had the fortune of growing up in a world of print that had elevated his social standing to allow him to be accepted in most circles of life. He liked to brag that he had read everything that he had for sale, that it was part of his duty to know the words that the volumes contained to ensure that the books would always go to a loving home. As always he was seated behind his wooden counter, his glasses perched on the very end of his angular nose as his inscribed a recent sale in his ledger. It took only the ring of the bell to make him look up, and the seriousness to melt into a jolly smile as he stood to welcome his most common customer.

"Mr H, sir, as ever it is a pleasure to see you." The stool on which he perched behind the counter gave him more height than he was born with. As soon as he stood he all but his upper arms disappeared beneath the wood. "And what are you in need of today?"

"Distraction." Richard smiled. Glancing around the shop he could immediately pick out the new arrivals. "Something to while away the Christmas hours."

John came out from behind his counter, and placed his hands on his hips. "So you have no where to go at Christmas? A handsome man like you I can not believe you have no woman who would take you in and keep you from the cold."

He laughed, but a thought had already crossed his mind. There was a woman, someone who had offered to keep him warm before and would never turn him from her door. But to go to that route would be to dishonour not only the lady but also the father who had been his friend.

"There are, but this year I feel the need for solitude for my ponderings" He answered smoothly achieving his aim not to appear unwanted and to prevent further questioning. Half Heartedly he began to browse the stacks.

The door of the shop opened; a brief draft of cold and snowy air. He continued to browse.

"I need something by Byron…" a voice he vaguely recognised was questioning the shopkeeper; in his solitary mood he did not wish to engage anyone in conversation.

"It's for my sister- she loves Byron and I haven't got her a Christmas present yet."

Some shuffling "I have just the thing- a very special edition."

He had read the first line of the book open in his hands but the words had not grasped his attention to the degree that he would want to purchase it. He placed it back on the stack and continued to browse.

"Richard…?"

Richard turned when he was addressed. Before him stood a well-dressed man of his age, beaming. The desire for solitude was stripped away from him as he finally recognised the voice and the person.

"Guy! " the hand he offered was taken warmly "How are you- it's been a long time."

"Too long and well- so you looking for a Christmas present too?"

" I was actually looking for something to keep me amused over the holiday season."

Concern shaded the happy look on his friends face. "You on your own then?"

"By choice."

"A Bad choice, no, no." He shook his head critically, stroking his chin thoughtfully "No you can't do that, you'll have to come home with me and spend Christmas at the castle. I insist."

He found he had neither the energy nor inclination to argue and within hours had found himself in a first class carriage out of London.

"No thank you," The cigarette offered from a gold case was politely refused. Only he and Guy were in the carriage, though platform had been packed with the lesser classes. The journey would take but a few hours, but Guy had ensured that every luxury was afforded to them. Tea and sandwiches were served at midday, followed by brandy in large glasses. He had begun to look out of the window, watching the buildings of London melt into the trees and fields of the country. London was not a city he could claim to love. It was mostly the relative anonymity in which one could exist, that caused him to stay. But as he left the smoke for the outside world, he felt a slight pain that he was leaving his home and his club and almost wished himself back in his rooms with the book he had placed on the shelf and the whiskey he had never brought.

Guy was in the full Christmas spirit, smoking his cigarettes and boasting what he had brought for his family and friends. R was saddened that this year he had not purchased a single Christmas present, and was unlikely to receive any. He began to feel maudlin, and intrusive. Guy must have invited him hear out of pity and not for any other reason.

"Are you sure that your father shall not feel my visit an imposition?" He questioned in a quiet moment.

Guy took a drag on his cigarette and smiled knowingly. "No at all- my father appreciates it when I bring home bachelors."

The smile on Guys face broadened to a smirk. Richard had to ask.

"And why is that?"

Guy's voice, which had began in good humour, became resignedly sorrowful. "My father has little time for my sister - Caroline, He has been trying to marry her to someone for years. But Caroline, being more alike him then I ever am, has resolutely decided not to marry any of his choices. There is an unspoken respect between them and a very vocal dislike" Guy sighed "My father shall welcome you with open arms as you are an unmarried man of independent means. He shall give you the best rooms in the castle, open the best wine and ensure that you receive every luxury."

"In a hope that even if I do not like his daughter, I shall like the lifestyle that she has to offer." Richard finished the thought. He knew that scenario. It was the curse of society that felt that an unmarried man was poorly in need of a wife.

"Precisely" Guy agreed, and then had a moment of guilt. "It's not that my sister is a ugly horrible person…. she is one of the most generous and lovely people I have met." From his tone Richard could tell that there was something sorrowful in his mind.

"Then why is she not married?"

Guy shrugged and drained his whisky glass, gazing out of the window and thinking of a time and place far removed from here.

"I suppose she never fell in love." He remarked. "There was never one person in her life that she felt she could trust enough to be with. And that is her decision, I just want to see her happy. She deserves to be as happy as Clarissa and I and the children."

With the mention of his own wife's name, Guy's face turned back to a smile. And the conversation was changed from the subject of his sister to all the little preparations his children had made for St Nicholas. Richard was charmed by the affection Guy obviously had for his family, and yet intrigued to meet the sister that caused him so much sorrow.

They arrived at the castle just after dark. A car had met them at the station. It was bitterly cold, bundled in thick coats and scarves they fumbled their way into the car and to prepare for the drive home.

He found himself shocked when he finally reached the stately home. Guy had never hid the fact that he was in good fortune, and had always been extremely generous in nature. But Richard had not the slightest inclination to the extent of his friend's wealth. The imposing gothic house had been designed to look like a medieval castle, it's roof lined with turrets and it's windows paned with stained glass.

Lights burned from the bottom window, and one room in the topmost turret. Guy pointed the light out to him. "That is where Caroline will be, probably locked herself away from father"

"I'm rather anxious to meet your sister"

And it was not long before he did, Guy and he had dressed for dinner and come down early for a pre-dinner drink. A warm fire in the grate and the sight of gently falling snow outside made him feel happy, and confirmed that he had made the right decision. The house was tranquil and still, Richard stood glancing out across the lawns at the falling snow when Caroline made her appearance. And it was a loud entrance, the door to the library was wrenched open and slammed shut.

"GRR!" was exclaimed loudly. Richard turned from the window and met Caroline. She was stood in the doorway her fists and jaw clenched shaking her head.

"What's wrong Caroline?" Guy asked calmly, pouring her a large drink and handed it to her. He already had an idea of what the problem was as his father had spoken to him previously. But experience had lead him to the conclusion that that it was best to let Caroline vent in her own words.

"He has invited Lord Millburn to the New Years Eve ball, and says that I have to be 'nice' to him." Her emphasis on the word 'nice' did not leave anything to the imagination. Sighing heavily she took a large swig of her drink and walked over to the fireplace.

Richard took the opportunity to take a good look to at Guy's sister. Caroline was an effortlessly exquisite creature. Of above average height for a woman, slender and stately, her hair was a groomed mass of gold and her eyes a deep hazelnut. A well proportion face and head sat upon a long elegant neck. The beauty was only marred slightly by the look of anger that scarred her perfection.

"He is determined to have me married before next spring. He told me as much." She took another sip of her drink, staring into the flames, her anger had subsided and was replaced by a deep sorrow. "I don't think that I can put him off for much longer, he will disown me if I do not marry." She sighed, and walked into the room, slumping in a sofa and holding out her glass for a refill. "I do not know what to do."

Guy patted her on the shoulder, and sat beside her. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

Caroline shook her head. "I doubt that it would do any good." She murmured sadly, it was at that point she noticed Richard sitting in the chair beside the her, her face instantly changed.

"Guy I wish you would introduce me to your guests before I begin to discuss our family business with them" She smiled, not the least bit embarrassed. Instantly her face lit up. Her whole face changed and her eyes shone.

"Richard Hannay" He returned her smile and offered his hand. "Your brother and I were in Africa together."

"Are you single?" She demanded, not too unkindly, holding on to his hand slightly longer.

He laughed slightly at the honesty of her question. "Yes."

Now Caroline laughed and relinquished her grip on is hand. Her mood lifted. She relaxed in her seat and took her time to sip her drink. "Well I should warn you that my father is bound to ask if you would consider marrying me and probably offer you a lot of money to do so. And if he does then in your case I might consider it." She added with a cheeky smile.

"From Caroline that is a compliment" Guy laughed. "She has rejected the pick of the social scene without giving them the slightest consideration!"

"Well if the 'pick of the social scene' were not a bunch of old men just wanting someone pretty to drape on their arms, then I may have considered them." She drained her glass and held it out to Guy for a further refill. He glared at her, and her too soon empty glass. But poured her another drink with an over generous shot of water in it. Even though she was talking to her brother, her eyes were focused on Richard. He was regarding her with equal curiosity, she did not look like a member of the woman's emancipation movement. She was dressed like a privileged young lady, but she did not let it spoil her. She wore no jewels save a small pair of pearls in her ears, and had a relaxed and friendly manner about her. There were no pretensions about her. But her words showed a determined manner.

"Still, these are my problems, and I am sure that you do not want to hear them." Caroline rose from the chair and kissed her brother on the cheek. "I had best retire now and prepare for the battle." She turned to Richard. "And, Richard, I hope that you will reserve a dance for me so I will at least have the pleasure of dancing with one partner of my choice."

And then she was gone. He stared at the space she had vacated, not really thinking anything but how much he wanted to see her again.

He hovered near the entrance of the ballroom, just close enough to see the staircase. He felt giddy like a young man waiting for his beau. Caroline was late. She was always late he was told. As if it were her one stand for her independence.

Her father made her attend these balls, gave her all the best clothes and hired woman to ensure that his daughter looked the best and finest. It was like he was showing off a horse that he wished to sell. And Caroline would make it her purpose to be just late enough to make him wonder at her appearance.

The earl had ensured that there were plenty of single men in the room, Richard glanced around, unconsciously eyeing up the competition, not that there was much competition. All the men were as old as her father and twice as fat.

"Father is determined to have her married for the end of the year." Guy returned with a drink for them both. "He reads 'who's who' and invites all the single men he can find. Whatever their age or senility" He handed Richard the drink and stood beside him, hand in pocket.

"And what does Caroline think of this?" He asked. Behind him Guy smiled, it appear his sister had already made an impression on him, even if it was unintentional and unnoticed.

"She will never marry any of these men, I doubt that she will ever marry at all" Guy smiled. "She's an independent woman my sister. I can see her going off to be a missionary or adventurer. The dull servitude of a married life is not her choice."

"Oh so you think that married life is dull?" Said a voice behind him. Guy jolted, then turning and seeing his wife blushed slightly. Taking her hand her pressed it gently to his lips.

"Those are Caroline's words not mine, my love." Guy replied.

"Allow me to introduce my friend - Richard Hannay. Richard, my wife Cordelia."

Cordelia held her hand out to Richard and smiled a welcoming smile. " It is a pleasure to meet you, Richard, after hearing do much about you."

"Likewise, Lady Beaumont.."

"Oh, please - Cordelia." Cordelia smiled. "Titles are reserved for politicians and enemies only - more of Caroline's words" She laughed.

"Slightly misquoted I'm afraid.." Cordelia turned as Caroline approached. Standing behind Richard, she reached over and took the glass from Richard's hands and sipped it secretly, shielded by the frames of her brother and Richard. "Thank you Richard, I need a stiff drink to get through this evening, but father wont let me drink."

"Then take my drink and I shall obtain another." Richard smiled and indicated to a nearby waiter.

Caroline's eyes glanced swiftly and purposefully across the room. all the while her eyes were glancing across the room.

"Where's father?" She asked Guy in a conspiratorial tone. All the while he eyes were darting around the room, searching for her father, conscious of the possibility of her discovery.

"He's over there talking to Lord Sutch." Guy nodded in the direction of where his father was laughing too loudly at a joke. It gave him an air of falseness and ridiculousness. All of which he appeared painfully unaware of.

"Oh dear, we've already had the Lord Sutch fiasco. I thought the Lord would have given up after the last insult." Caroline whispered, sipping his drink again.

"And what insult was that…?" Richard asked curiously.

"Something to do with him wanting a 'trial period' before the marriage…and offering father a sum of money for it. I simply told him that there was not enough money in the bank of England to make me agree to such a proposal."

"And what did you father think of such a proposal." He enquired, amused.

"He considered it for a moment, until I pointed out to him the consequences if Lord Sutch decided that I was not a proper bride and discarded me. He then decided that the proposition was preposterous.' She laughed.

"He's seen you, Caroline." Guy warned.

"Oh dear." She sighed, and hastily handed Richard back his glass, "Hold this Richard Father will be horrified if I am drinking heavy liquor." Richard noticed his glass was no now half empty. "I'm going to mingle, do excuse me."

In a moment Caroline had drifted from their company and crossed the room in the opposite direction to her father and was introducing herself to a large man of some importance with a ridiculous moustache. The Earl approached his son with a smile of pride and affection.

"Father, please met my friend - Richard Hannay, I spoke about him."

"Yes, Yes" Father shook his hand and smiled in not an unkind manner, frowning slightly when he saw the half empty glass in Richard's hands. "Enjoying my brandy are you Richard?"

"Yes, Lord Beaumont, it is very fine."

"Does you wife know your passion for Brandy?"

His manners kept Richard from laughing out loud at the Earl's not to subtle attempt to establish his status.

"I am not married, my Lord."

"Ah… have you met my daughter?" The Earl glanced around the room, but Caroline was nowhere to be seen.

"Yes, Father, Richard has already met Caroline." Guy exchanged a look with Richard to indicate that he was a little embarrassed by his father's transparency.

"Ah that's a pity, but first impressions can be deceiving. Let me find her for you and then we'll have a proper introduction."

The Earl hurried off into room searching for Caroline. The band began to play and Guy and Cordelia moved onto the dance floor. Finding himself alone Richard walked slowly to the windows and watched the festivities from a distance.

"Where is my father.." A muffled sound came from behind the heavy curtains.

Richard smiled to himself and held out the half empty glass to the curtain. He was not surprised when a hand appeared from behind it and took the glass and dragged it into the velvety depths.

"I believe he is looking for you, Caroline." Richard whispered.

"Oh dear." The curtain sighed. "I saw him talking to you, was he subtle or did he just come straight out and ask how much money would make you marry me."

"He was slightly more subtle than that, but it was clear that was the direction that the conversation was going in.." Richard replied, "He seemed most disappointed that I had met you before he had the opportunity to formally introduce us."

"That's because his formal introductions usually involve me being silent whilst he sings what little praises he thinks I have." She sneered. "Is he anywhere near us?"

"He's just left the room in search of you, I presume." Richard explained, watching as the Earl spoke to one of the maids, who shook her head in reply. He then headed out of the ball room and in the general direction of the library.

"Well he should know I am behind the curtains, I am always behind the curtains." Caroline emerged and placed her empty glass on a small table that appeared to have been placed near the curtain for that very purpose. "The curtains or the library"

"I think that he has gone off to the library now."

"Oh dear, that means he will be back shortly - do you suppose we could have that dance you promised me now?"

Before he could answer, he found her on his arm and walking on to the dance floor and was finally able to take this beauteous creature in his arms.

"You seem quite use to playing this cat and mouse game."

"Yes," She sighed. "Father and I have been engaged in this fiasco for so long now that it is second nature. That's why I spend so much time in London."

"Yes, Guy mentioned that you take to the stage sometimes."

"You don't approve."

"On the contrary I think that it is a healthy pursuit, though I do not go to the theatre very often."

"And I doubt that you find Shakespeare a particular favourite"

"No," He confessed, "Is that the type of work you undertake?"

"We predominantly act Shakespeare plays, but also like to take on some modern works. Father only tolerates my hobby if I am restricted to classical works, he thinks modern plays are too frivolous and full of unsuitable topics. I don't think that he has ever read a Shakespearian play, or he would realise that all his plays are crammed to the brim with fornication and devilry." She smiled, moving closer to him. "You are a good dancer."

"Your father is back."

"He wont bother me now, he is smiling at us." She commented as they pirouetted around the floor. "Oh dear I think he must already be planning the engagement announcement."

Richard laughed. "I think he would need to consult us before making any announcement.."

"You maybe. He'll never consult me, he'll just announce it and leave me to follow his plan."

The music stopped, and over his should she could see her father walking across the dance floor towards them.

"Oh dear, I think my father wishes to dance with me, how unfortunate."

"We could have another dance if you wish"

"Only on the condition that you assist me in making it appear that we are flirting outrageously. If he thinks that we are getting on he is likely to leave me alone for the rest of the evening."

"Flirting is never difficult with a woman as beautiful as you, Caroline." Richard bowed slightly before taking her in his arms again.

She smiled. "That's the idea. Thank you…"

Time in her company passed with a disturbing swiftness. The night was over. And the guests leaving for their homes and beds. Caroline was entrusted with the task of excusing her father's absence and giving each guest a fond farewell. And she was so perfect for the task. Everyone department with a kind word and a smile. But when the final guest had left and the servants had such the door, her face fell and the exhaustion began to show. She rubbed her eyes and forehead and wandered into the library. After a moment he to found himself walking in her direction.

The light from the fire was the only illumination in the room, and still in the murky stillness he recognised her outline.

"Caroline, are you well?"

She did not move, but stood still looking out of the moonlight gardens.

"Yes, I am fine, just a little maudlin I am afraid."

"I am sorry to hear that - is there anything I can do?"

"Aside from convincing silencing the gossips and convincing my father that I am a worthwhile cause."

"If I could I would."

It was then she turned to him and the firelight instantly picked out the tears just before she wiped them away.

"Would you like me to fetch Cordelia or Guy?"

"no, no - you are as good a friend as I could wish for right now. Please just stay and talk with me a while." She moved and sat in a chair beside the fire, indicating to the empty one beside it.

"What would you have us talk about?"

"I am not sure - anything but tonight's ball."

And so he talked, of Africa, of Scotland of art and adventure. And the frown that seemed so chiselled in her face faded until the sorrow had almost left her.

But even her sorrow was a beautiful trait. It gave her a depth and grounding that few society woman had. There was nothing hidden in Caroline, no agenda or motives. She simply wanted to be left alone and be happy. It was a sentiment that he had shared until now. But already in the few hours of conversation and the moments of laughter he had formed a bond with her. And the thought of leaving this house and not seeing her again made him feel saddened.

"Thank you Richard, you have lifted my spirits no end and I have very much enjoyed our conversation." He rose from his seat as she did. "But I must retire now I am very tired indeed."

She began to step away, then paused and returned to stand in front of him.

"In the few hours we have known each other you have been a very good friend to me. I hope our friendship will continue." She smiled, and then very gently placed a chaste kiss upon his cheek. It was an honest gesture and all the more alluring for its honesty.

Less than a month from his return from the castle, a time spent engaging himself with friends rather than having his mind engaged in thoughts of her.

After dinner one night, a Thursday he would always remember………………………………...........................

"Sir, there is a letter her for you, a lady left it at the door"

Richard returned to the desk and took the envelope from the porter's gloved hand. He turned it over to scrutinise it, but found no indication of its bearer.

"Thank you." He answered and walked into the club room. Upon taking his seat he opened the letter and glanced over its contents.

Richard,

In London for a while, wondered if you would like to come to dinner. I am afraid it is just me alone., so you're calling is likely to cause a huge scandal, but if you think you can weather the tireless gossip, please come tonight tomorrow night. I shall expect you at 7 Caroline

He smiled and decided to attend the engagement.

It happened so quickly that he was not sure how it had occurred. They had sat across the table from one another and were talking and laughing as effortlessly as they had always done. But without noticing they began to touch. He had brushed her fingertips whilst reaching for the decanter, she had offered him and then they were holding hands and he could not think that there was anything more in the world d that he wanted other than to be holding her hands.

The conversation had been funny and topical. They had discussed so many things that the words mingled and if asked neither could have faithfully recanted what they spoke of. But the words flowed so freely that it was not necessary to remember, simply to relax as the torrents of conversation overwhelmed them.

"So had your father had you married yet?" Richard asked when he was sure enough of their friendship to be a little cheeky.

Caroline smiled, but it was a different type of smile, the kind that hides sadness in its upturn corners.

"He tried to Lord Melbourne again, but then I recited a piece of gossip I heard about Lord Melbourne and he decided it was not a good idea."

"What..?"

"I dare not say allowed, come closer and I will whisper it to you. Promise you will not be shocked."

"I promise."

Moving closer she whispered her secret in his ear. He was shocked but tried not to show it. She moved away from him and smiled, but they remained close. And he found he could not help himself that for a moment regardless of the consequences he wanted to kiss her. At first it was a gentle kiss, a slight pressure on her lips. It could not remain gentle and he reached out and held her and kissed her again passionately.

As quickly as the moment arrived, it had departed. He found himself looking at her and feeling just a little embarrassed.

"Forgive me, I am sorry." He rose and was unable to look at her. It was apparent that she had not returned his kiss. And he was suddenly unsure at why he had made such an imposition on her. The affection he had did not extend beyond a close friendship.

"Nothing to forgive, my friend." Her slight emphasis on the phrase 'my friend' grounded him in the reality of the situation.

"I should be leaving." He said, aware his abrupt departure would appear rude, but he could not bear to be in the same space as her at the moment. He needed to be alone and to calm his head. This woman that he had barely known for a month had taken up all his energies and thoughts. He was sure he was not in love with her, if it had been love he would have acted with more decorum. But he was never a man to be driven by animal passions and was uncomfortable with the notion that he may just 'want' a physical relationship with her.

At the party he had heard many things about Caroline. He rarely took notice of such gossips, but was intrigued by the notion that she had had lovers before. One rumour was that she had a lover, high ranking lovers maybe even a prince and that was why she refused marriage and was not worried about her father's threats of abandonment. All the gossip did not matter as he had learned long ago to form and trust his own opinion of people. And his opinion was that she was a woman that would not be open to such advances without the security of marriage. Whatever her outward appearance her honour was of great importance to her and she would not have her reputation damaged. Still he could not stop thinking of her in a manner that did not truly become him. And so he sat in his room and thought about her, and walked in the park and thought of her. And as he dined with another old friend he found the conversation was drifting to her.

"Sounds to me like you are already very fond of this woman."

"Sir, may I have a moment of your time."

"I would like to ask for your daughters hand in marriage."

There was a brief look of surprise on the Earl's face, before it fanned out into a broad smile. "

"Of course I give my permission and I'll do more than that I'll even except on her behalf."

"Sir, I would prefer to ask Caroline myself and have her honest answer…"

"Nonsense, nonsense son, "The Earl placed an arm around Richard in a comradely manner. "If we give Caroline the choice she is likely to say no out of spite, no we'll give her the good news together and if she does not agree we'll need to persuade her…"

The Earl walked over to the wall and pulled the bell. "Let's send for some champagne and celebrate the future nuptials."

Martha the maid came in the room, looking at the floor. "Bring us some champagne - tell the butler the best champagne in the house and have Guy and his wife brought to me, "

He ordered, then as an afterthought "And bring Caroline to me."

"Lady Beaumont is in the gardens, sir, shall I have one of the lads fetch her…" Martha enquired nervously.

"Yes yes.." He dismissed the servant and in an instant turn smiling to his son.

"We have much to discuss, you know that with Caroline comes a title and responsibility - you will be 'Lord…" His words tapered off and it became obvious that he had forgotten the name of his future son in law.

"Hannay, father." Guy added tactfully as he entered the room. "I gather from the champagne and celebrations that Caroline has accepted your proposal my friend."

"She need not I have accepted on her behalf." His father smiled and handed a glass to Guy and Cordelia.

Richard glanced across as Guy and was taken aback by the disapproval in his face. He wanted desperately to move to his side, to explain but at that moment the gardens doors opened and Caroline appeared.

Caroline came into the room straitening her windswept hair. She looked up to see the crowd of people in the room, the champagne and froze for a moment. She scrutinised every face each of them beaming with happiness. Until her eyes fell on Richard and he appeared troubled.

"What are we celebrating?" She asked cautiously.

"You're engagement." Her father came towards his arms open with welcome. "Richard here has asked for your hand in marriage and I have accepted on your behalf…" He handed her a glass of champagne.

Her first thought was not for herself, but concern for Richard and the troubled look on his face. But soon her thoughts returned to her own safety and security.

"You better behave with this one, Caroline, you have refused many men and I am being gracious in allowing you to accept this miner…." The Earl whispered to her. "If you don't accept him then you will truly be on your own."

She sipped her champagne and did not answer. Her mind was turning over and wondering what to make of this situation.

"Well, "She smiled eventually, directing her smile at Richard, whose mood seemed too lightened at it, "I am hardly dressed for a celebration, let me get changed and then we can celebrate in style."

She did not see the smile on her father's face or recognise that it was the first smile of joy and pride that she was ever likely to receive from him. She had already turned from the room and, head bowed, began to stroll back to her room.

Cordelia looked at Guy. They understood that Caroline's apparent subservience could mean that she was raging inside. Silently she handed her half filled glass to Guy and left the room declaring that she would help Caroline.

When she reached her room Caroline was sitting on the edge of her bed, her soiled dress discarded and no show of finding other suitable attire.

"Caroline."

"Yes?"

"This is good news. Guy is so happy that he is able to call his friend brother and it is a good match."

"You sound like my father." Caroline snapped and moved to the wardrobe. "Tell me Cordelia what is the appropriate dress for someone to where when they are being lead up the aisle to their slaughter?"

Cordelia sighed. She had expected this reaction. She moved to Caroline and gently pushed her aside to begin rummaging through her sisters clothes.

"Well if you are to take such a maudlin view on things I would suggest the black dress, but as it is meant to be a celebration I would suggest the blue." She dragged the dress out of the wardrobe and held it up against her smiling.

"I am not in the mood for celebration." Caroline moaned, but still went through the routine of brushing her hair and dressing herself.

Cordelia was suddenly filled with sorrow for Caroline, the memory of her proposal clear in her mind. Guy had taken her for a walk in the gardens of the castle despite there being rain clouds in the sky. When the storm had come they had run for one of the gazebos in the garden and he had taken her hands to warm them. Then somehow between the shivering and the thunder he had found the stammering words to ask her for her hand in marriage. She had confirmed that he had obtained her fathers approval and then had graciously accepted. They had spent an hour or so passionately kissing in the gazebo and making plans about houses and children. A romantic and joyful moment. IIt seemed her father in law was intent on sucking all the joy out of Caroline's life. Caroline was patting her hair into place and admiring herself in the full length mirror. Cordelia came up behind her and embraced her, resting her head against the taller woman's shoulder.

"Think of this Caroline - you could play this cat and mouse game with father for a few more years, but eventually you are going to run out of excuses, eventually you will have no more explanations and you will be left we with whoever he chooses for you. But this is Richard, he is a good man, he loves you and you are friends. In your situation I doubt that there could be a better choice."

"But I do no love him." Caroline said coldly.

"That will come in time. There are few of us that can claim to have the good fortune to love our husbands before we marry them. But you know that he respects you and you know that he will not expect you to be a usual wife. You will retain your freedoms and may even gain more freedoms - you will at least be free from your father."

Caroline nodded. "I suppose, it's just the thought of belonging to someone else terrifies me."

"Richard is not the type of man who will want to posses you. He is your friend and he knows you better than anyone…he loves you for what you are not what he wants you to be."

Caroline sighed. "I suppose. And I also suppos that the best way to get revenge on my father is to be blissfully happy in my marriage."

Their reflections smiled at each, and then arm in arm they returned to the men.

"Caroline, I wanted to say that I am sorry." He hovered in her background.

She was sat beside the fireside, deep in thought looking very sad.

"For what? You have done nothing wrong." She sighed, staring deep into the flames.

"I should have asked you first before going to your father."

"It is done, and I would not have it undone" She offered him a slight smile. It acted as an encouragement, he moved in closer.

"I would have proposed differently." He murmured and when she did not rebuke him he moved in closer. "I would have done it this way."

He knelt down on one knee, took her hand in his and looked up into her face. "Caroline I love you; you are the most magnificent woman I have met. I am constantly in awe of you. I would never seek to inhibit you in anything you do. I want to marry you, I want an equal partnership. Would you please make me the happiest man in the world and consent to be my wife?"

She said nothing. It seemed as if they were both holding their breath. Her eyes passed across his face almost apologetically. Then with her finger tips on his cheek she leant in and kissed him. He reached out for her and she fell into his arms, tumbling on to the cushions whilst he pressed his advances. And she did not push him away. He kissed

"I love you. " He whispered into her hair, on her lips, at her throat. So overwhelmed by his passions that he did not at first recognise the frigidity in her. He was so intent in feeling her warm beneath him, the softness of her touch and the smell of her that he was not at once aware of her trembling beneath him.

"What is wrong?"

"Nothing. " She breathed and then smiled an inviting smile. "You'd be shocked."

"No I wouldn't"

She cast her eyes to the side, not looking at him, her fingers still playing with the curls of his hair. "I was just thinking how much I want you, and as we are to be married anyway why should we wait until the wedding night?"

He stopped for a moment; just for a thought to be sure that he had heard her correctly. They were laying her in here alone, in her room, and she was inviting him to stay.

"Caroline, are you sure?" He hesitated. Though it was settled in his mind that this was the last woman he would be with, he had not expected her to reach such a conclusion so swiftly after the anger.

"As sure as I will ever be." She replied.

It was all the encouragement he needed. He reached out and slowly began to unbutton her dress, his fingers first feeling the silk and ties of her undergarments, and then as they were parted he felt the soft flesh of her breast. On his touch she sighed and he move closer to kiss her breast, taking her soft nipple between his lips. He was intent on savouring this moment as if it was his wedding night. It was the thought of that night and the expectation that made him stop.

"No, I will not."

She frowned, though he did not see. "Why."

"Because I have waited for a lifetime to meet the woman that I want to spend the rest of my days with, and I will have a wedding night in tact."

She pushed him off, sat up and began to tidy her clothing.

"I am anything but 'in tact'" she snapped.

"That does not bother me." He tried to placate.

She stood and put her hair back into place. "Well, perhaps it should, Richard. I'm second hand goods and perhaps that should bother you."

She left the room leaving him to lie on her bed and listen to her angry footsteps as they echoed down the hall.

He expected some carry forward of the mood into breakfast, but was pleasantly surprised when she came into the hall almost skipping, wearing that blue dress that so became her. It was as if he was seeing her anew. She was no longer Guy's sister, no longer just Caroline. She was his future wife.

"So Caroline, what are your plans for today?" Cordelia enquired.

"I am going into London to meet a friend for lunch and then to do some shopping." She answered midway between her bacon and eggs.

"Which friend."

He was glad that it was her father that asked the question. He had been burning to do so for not knowing who she was going to meet burned in him.

"Martha - she is in the play and we are going to rehearse." She answered quickly, as if she were use to such interrogation.

"I would think that you would have more important matters to be attending to - such as the organisation of your wedding." The Earl snapped. "More important, I think than gallivanting around with your theatre friends as I a sure your new husband will not be as tolerant as I have been with your theatrical pursuits. I for certain would not have allowed your mother to make such an exhibition of her."

Caroline drew a long deep breath through her nose, letting it out gently as she paused to consider her response.

"I thought that as you had accepted the proposal on my behalf and had already began the celebrations without me, you would also be arranging the wedding and my involvement would be restricted to ensuring that I arrived at the church suitably attired. " She answered smoothly, without a hint of anger or reproach in her voice. "And as to the other matter it will be for my husband to decide after the wedding."

The breakfast table fell silent, not even the rattling of cutlery, as everyone anticipated the Earl's response.

"Yes, you would not be the best person to organise a wedding, you would have no idea of how to ensure that it is done correctly." The Earl continued to eat and everyone followed suit. "I think that is best left in the hands of your brother and sister." He turned towards Cordelia "Cordelia, my dear you have more femininity that Caroline, will you please speak to a suitable dressmaker regarding a dress."

Cordelia managed to suppress her look of horror and looked directly at Caroline, who shrugged. "Yes, father if that is what you want."

"Father Do you not think that Caroline should be given some say in her wedding arrangements." Guy was the only one brave enough to challenge the Earl's decision, and even that was a gentle challenge carefully worded so as not to cause offence.

"No, she can not be trusted. I leave the arrangements to you." Dabbing his face with the soiled napkin the Earl rose from his seat and left the room, indicating that his decision was final.

"I'm sorry, Caroline." Guy offered.

"Don't be. It's not like I was ever going to get a choice in any of this anyway." She smiled, reached across the table and squeezed Richard's hand. "At least I know that at the end of it I will be married to a good man."

She stood two and began to leave the room.

"Caroline." Richard called. She paused and turned towards him. "May I accompany you to London - I believe I owe you an engagement ring"

She sighed. "Why don't you just purchase a ring and surprise me. I really have plans today and I don't want to change them."

She continued to eat quickly but not unpleasantly.

He seemed ill at ease and it seemed that

Her acting talent served her well in the coming months, it helped her to maintain her composure and put of the face of joy. But as the preparations went on around her she felt isolated and alone. Even her wedding, it seemed, was nothing to do with her.

The months passed in a whirlwind and she had no time to pause until she was standing at the altar on her fathers arm in front of a crowd of family and friends.

An audience had never caused her fear, but staring down the line of people staring at her, and then catching a glimpse of him at the end smiling at her with such anticipation, all she could feel was the tight knot of fear in her stomach. It made her tremble.

At her side her father felt her move. He gently put his hand on hers where it was linked in his arm and regarded her tenderly.

"Don't worry dear; every woman is nervous on her wedding day."

His tone of caring and concern stunned her into calmness. It angered her into continuing the act. And a fine act it would be everyone would comment on how happy the bride looked, how radiant and complete.

At the party she drank a little too much champagne but everyone allowed her that, putting it down to nerves of a bride on her wedding night.

Once the event had arrived it quickly ended and she found herself alone in a strange room in a strange house, with him next door.

Cordelia had helped her undress. She had taken such care to remove the wedding dress and pack it away in her chest. Caroline had sat at the dressing table and passed a comb through her hair methodically whilst staring at her reflection with a blank expression.

Once she had notice, Cordelia moved to her side, gently squeezing her shoulder"Don't worry, Caroline, I am sure that Richard will be gentle."

And then she was gone with a knowing smile on her face and the stark reality of what she had done crashed in around Caroline.

Nothing but quick tick tick of the clock and the wind outside to keep her company in her sorrow.

She had married a man, a good man, to protect herself. She had lied to everyone, and now she was married. More trapped than she had ever been with her father.

There was a gentle knock on the dividing door, he spoke her name tenderly.

It was his kindness that brought her to tears. She buried her head in her hands and wept.

It was her weeping that brought him to her side.

"Caroline, what is wrong?"

"I can't say." She wept.

And he held her and stroked her hair and made promises to her. He told her that she was the only thing in the world to him and that he wanted her from the moment he first saw her.

And that he loved her with all his heart.

But his words did not matter. They had a hollow ring to them she felt like a possession.

"I don't love you that way Richard. I love you but this is not what I wanted." She broke away from his grasp and angrily paced to the wall. And there she stood with her back against the wall and tears of anger and frustration rolling down her cheeks.

"Everyone wanted this but me. And no-one, not even you cared for what I wanted." She snarled. Then her anger left her and she buried her head in her hands. "No-one has ever cared what I wanted. All my life I have had to spend time doing what others want to ensure that I am kept safe and well. I have never been able to make one solitary choice of my own. I thought you were different Robert, I thought you were interested in me - but in the end you just went ahead with what you desired and did not even think of me."

Silence. She peered through her fingers to where he sat shocked on the edge of the bed. It was almost comical seeing him sitting there in his pyjamas, but there were the beiging of tears in his eyes. He would be well within his legal rights to force her to consumate the marriage and she knew that she did not have the power to stop him. It made her feel caged, uneasy as she always had around her father.

"I thought you loved me"

"I never told you that."

"You said you wanted me, you made advances."

"I made advances after the proposal I thought that if you had me it would dissuade you or the prospect of me offering myself so freely would discontinue your advances." She sighed. "Niether of those worked."

"You could told me in private, and I would have stopped this."

"Father would have thrown me out on the streets……or worse he would have forced me to marry a lesser man." She sighed. In her exhaustion she slide down the wall and was now sitting on the floor with her knees drawn up and her arms crossed over them. She could not even look at him now.

"Do you know how much I love you?" He asked, she did not look at him and refused to answer him. He moved from the bed and knelt down before her. "I love you enough to have this marriage annulled, if that is what you want."

She regarded him suspiciously, as if she did not believe what he was saying. "The marriage can not be annuled. I would be disgraced if it were."

"Then what do you want?"

She paused. "I want you to leave me alone to sleep, and make no further advances on me until I am ready." She said timidly as if scared for a moment that her words would anger him into action.

But he rose quietly, and left the room without a further word.