❝ I DON'T HATE YOU BUT OH IT STINGS

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE ADORED BY HIM ❞

She had her chance with him. Well, at least in her mind she did. Every girl in Avonlea knew that she was going to become Mrs. Gilbert Blythe one day. Everyone knew that we was off limits (although it never stopped Josie from ogling and flirting with him).

Gilbert had always been a gentleman for everyone, but at least in her mind Gilbert always had a soft spot for her… well at least a small one. He was nice and would even walk her home from school sometimes, even though it was mainly because her house was on the way and it would be rude of him to not speak when they were on the same road heading on the same path. He would accompany her to the few school dances they had even though there were many other boys who would like to take his spot. Nonetheless, she was happy and she knew she has a chance. Well, had a chance.

Of course the new girl would whisk away his attention from her and be the only thing he only thought or talked about. Yes, Anne was extremely pretty. Her nose was the most adorable and exquisite thing and her hair is this gorgeous red color for which she would die.

At first she thought that Anne moving to town wouldn't have change their dynamic but soon her walks with Gilbert were quieter than they already were and he always had a dazed look on his face and he was always looking across the street where a certain redheaded girl was walking to her own home at Green Gables. Sometimes he stared as she would stop abruptly, finding some kind of wildflower and examining it. He would watch as Anne would be lost in her own little daydream and walking mindlessly. He wouldn't pay attention to his surroundings as he was so entranced by the new orphan girl.

"Gilbert?" she asked, trying to get his attention during their walk home.

"Hm?" he hummed, confused. "Oh sorry, I wasn't paying attention." Like you ever. "What were you trying to say, Ruby?"

"I was wondering if you understood what Ms. Stacey was trying to say with the intonation of the poet's whatever," Ruby said.

"It's not that difficult actually," Gilbert replied. Yeah, since you and Anne are the only people who actually understand whatever she's trying to say. "Usually in poetry the poet is trying to give the reader emphasis on a certain subject or part of the verse. Take for instance, your favorite song. You know how it changes pitch or the singer's tone influxes in certain parts of the song creating the melody. It's like that, but in the way it's written and spoken. I think Anne could help you out more than me, though. She's great at reciting poetry."

"Sure, I'll ask her later."

It was like this every time she tried to talk to him and make some sort of conversation. It's always "Anne this" and "Anne that". Ruby wishes that they could have some sort of decent conversation without her name being popped up.

The weird thing was that they weren't even talking at the moment. Anne was focused on completely ignoring Gilbert just because he tugged on her braid and called her "Carrots" in the hallway. One would've thought that smashing a locker board on top of his head would be enough, but it wasn't. She had to start ignore him, too.

He always followed her around like a lost puppy, vying for her attention. Anne would always turn her nose up at the mere mention of him.

Sometimes Ruby would purposefully talk about how great Gilbert is in random conversations just to see Anne whither at the mention of the name. Still, she couldn't understand why Gilbert was so pinned on the girl everyone knew didn't want him.

Aura of mystery, perhaps? She thought to herself.

Ruby didn't know what was so mysterious about the girl. Yes, she did have a fiery temper and was extremely smart… and she had a weird habit of running away a lot… but, but that didn't mean she was mysterious.

No, I'm not envious. No! That's not it. She's a nice girl! Her stories are the most interesting and she taught me so much about this other world that's not Josie's. Why should I be envious? Just because Gilbert seems to really like her and not me? ...Brain stop it! You just told yourself you're not envious. You better show it! Ruby sighed to herself. Of course she stooped so low as to have a battle in her brain deciphering if she was actually jealous of Anne or not.

It's not like Anne was someone who could be hated. She's just so Anne that it's extremely impossible to find something to hate about her. True, Josie does try to nitpick her as much as possible, but everyone knows it's because she's actually jealous, though she would never admit it. Still, Ruby herself wasn't jealous of Anne. Not even remotely.

"I better go," she told Gilbert. "My mother wants me to get home a little earlier since my sisters are visiting from college."

He looked over at her in some sort of daze, but nodded. As much as she knew he tried to give her his attention, Ruby knew that he really didn't know what was going on.

Thus, Ruby walked more quickly to her house by herself. At least she could properly think without having some sort of thick awkward tension clouding her judgements. She didn't want to turn out as dazed as Gilbert was currently.

Besides, there was more she needed to think about besides Gilbert. Since her sisters were coming back home, she knew that she would be interrogated by them to see if she'd found "the one." Once upon a time she would've said, "Yes. I do believe I have." but now she's unsure. She doesn't know where she stood, but she knew that whatever chance she'd made up in her head was now non existent. Instead it was given to the new red headed girl that seemed to brighten anyone's day.

Ruby isn't mad at the situation. She isn't mad that Gilbert really didn't like her the way she believed. She isn't mad that he doesn't look at her with longing and hope. She isn't mad that she's not the one that sparks a want to be better and challenge his personality and academics. She doesn't even hate Anne remotely. She doesn't hate that she's the one who's always in his mind. She doesn't hate that Anne's the one for which he would willingly wait outside of class just so that he could try to apologize. She doesn't hate that they would never compare to each other. In fact, the only thing Ruby hates is how blind Anne is. If it were any other girl in Avonlea, she would probably have jumped at the opportunity of being with Gilbert Blythe. But then again, that wouldn't make Anne, Anne. They would be complete different situations, and that's not something Ruby would want, either.

Just thinking about how much Anne had changed Gilbert and changed their situation, Ruby knew that it wasn't a bad thing that things happened the way they did. There will always be someone new and someone better.

Taking a deep breath, Ruby approached the front door of her house, ready to be ambushed by her sisters in the question of who's the latest conquer and if she actually pinned down Gilbert Blythe once and for all.

She was actually glad she had taken that deep breath because the minute she walked into the room her three sisters had happy smiles on their faces and one even sported a big rock on her finger. Ruby was happy for her sisters. She was happy they'd find their true loves already and they're happy with the romance in their lives. Of course, there's a little bit of jealousy nagging at the back of her head, but it's something with which she'd learned to deal and ignore, mostly. There is a small stinging sensation she'd feel whenever Anne's name is mentioned, or at least the idea of her, but nonetheless, she learned how to not show her emotions, especially if it threatens to boil over. After all, she is a Gillis girl and they're all known to just sit still, and look pretty (not that she really minds the stereotype, but it does get annoying after a while).

Luckily for her, her sisters didn't pester her about her own personal love life, but rather capitalized on their own. All of their conversations were discussing their new engagements and how their own partners are amazing.

Ruby was glad that she didn't have to really think about her own situation. She was glad that the questions weren't pointing herself, but rather others. She was glad that she didn't have to really dig deep in her brain and figure out what she was feeling.

Unfortunately, though, that relieved feeling didn't last long. As she and her sisters had their routinely spa night they had whenever they were reunited again, her situation was brought up again.

"So Ruby," her sister Leah started, "Have you found someone yet?"

Ruby sighed, adjusting the face mask she had on. "Is it bad that I'm 16 and I haven't found someone I love yet?"

"I thought you did," her other sister Sarah pointed out. "You did seem extremely smitten with Gilbert Blythe since you were 12. We all knew it was your conquest to marry him one day. Besides, I met Andrew when I was your age. Now look at us!"

"Yeah, that's true. I mean Marco is adorable, but that's your situation," Ruby replied. "I just think that Gilbert Blythe obsession I had was just that. It was a schoolgirl crush that I have to get over."

All three of her sisters, Sarah, Leah, and Chloe looked over in her direction.

"Really?" Chloe spoke up. "We all thought you were going to try and finally pin him down for yourself."

"I think I'm taking a break from that," Ruby admitted. "Besides, he has his heart set on someone else now."

"Who?" Leah pressed.

"It must be the new girl," Chloe said. "I've heard a lot about her already. This whole town couldn't stop talking about her. I heard she's quite the weirdo."

Ruby became defensive. Anne was her friend first and foremost, even if she was the one who had Gilbert's attention and not Ruby. "Yeah, she might be a weirdo, but she's a loveable one. You should read her stories. They're amazing! She has quite the imagination, too."

Sarah gave her a look. "If you say so."

Ruby didn't want to answer any more questions related to Anne nor Gilbert. Usually after they finished the spa night they would stay up a little later watching rom-coms on Netflix and talking about the latest gossip, but this time Ruby made the excuse of being tired from all the exams from earlier that day and decided to go to sleep.

Just thinking about her love life by herself and with her sisters, she realized that whatever "feelings" she had for Gilbert were really just a schoolgirl crush. She's a Gillis girl. She'll get over this. Besides, there are boys lining up for her attention, so she'll be fine. As much as she's not the one who her childhood crush wanted, she'll get over it and open a new chapter in her life. She's ready to not be as childish anymore, and one way of doing so is getting rid of this childhood fantasy she had conjured up in her head.

She may not be the one who lights up Gilbert's whole world, but she'll find someone who will look at her like life is perfect and the world is new.

It'll just take some time.

hehehehehe

i hope you liked the one shot! i have been planning some sort of one-shot with dodie clark's song "adored by him" and i thought looking at ruby's perspective would be a perfect opportunity. i hope you liked the one shot! sorry there isn't a new update for drive. i'm sort of in a writer's block since i wrote myself into a hole, but i'm hopefully going to get out of it soon lol.