Disclaimer: I do not own Bones, or Teardrops on My Guitar, or Please Forgive Me. If I did, I am SURE there would be a ton more epis of Bones. :) Yay, its back!
A/N: This is my first published Bones fic. Please r&r. Songs in this story are Teardrops on My Guitar by Taylor Swift and Please Forgive Me by Brian Adams. A special thanks goes out to GoldenLocks for beta-ing. Thank you soooo much! You're the best!
Summary/Spoilers: This is set right after The Man in the Cell. A simple extended one-shot that I couldn't get out of my head. I hope everything seems to be in character, and I didn't mess it up to bad. Please note that the italized words are flashbacks/directly from the episode. Now, on with the show!
The smoky air swirled around the woman onstage. It stank of stale cigarettes and beer, exactly as a bar should. Sitting there, in the dark, she wondered what had brought her to this corner of the city. Then she remembered…
Standing in the wings, she observed the picture in front of her. He sat with her, holding her hand, telling her she was going to be ok.
"Zack?"
"He's fine. Okay? Everyone- everyone's good." She nodded. "I'm- I'm . .. . I'm so sorry, you know, that I put so much pressure on you to hurry. I didn't, uh-"
"Not your fault. Epps did this to me." Cam was having trouble breathing. It was all she could do to wheeze out her assurances.
Sniffling, Booth tried to change the subject. "Hey. Your family's coming."
"Oh, God." She coughed, "And I thought poison . . . was my biggest problem." Booth grinned at that. That was his Cam. Forever the optimist, always trying to find a better side of things.
As she observed, Brennan realized that she was jealous of Cam. She wished that she could have a relationship, one where someone would come and sit by her hospital bed. But she would never have that. She was one of those people who were destined to never have a family, and people who loved her.
At that realization, she turned and left the hospital…
The first chords of the music started to play, and that brought her out of her reverie. After several drinks, the bartender had persuaded her to sing in the open – mic contest they were having that evening. And it was now her turn. She was nervous, though she didn't know why. There was no one there that knew her; she had even given a fake name. A name that she had only used once before: Roxie.
'Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without'
She sang the lyrics she had just heard 2 days before. She thought they seemed fitting, considering how she felt. All she had to do was replace "Drew" with "Booth", and it would be her life. But at least she didn't have to admit it to anyone. No one even knew she was here. She was supposed to be at home, in bed.
'Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night'
Remembering another conversation from earlier that day, she continued with her song.
"Hi. How'd you know I was here?"
"Saturday morning. How's Parker?" She smiled as she watched the young boy on the Merri-Go-Round.
"Yeah, I'm afraid I freaked him out the other day. He's really scared of this place. Now I gotta make that right." Booth sat down on the bench, keeping an eye on his son.
"That's you all over- putting things right." She sat down next to him. Taking a deep breath, she asked "Cam gets released from the hospital today?"
"Yeah." He signed, and looked at the ground.
"What?"
"You know, what happened to Cam happened because . . . we had a personal relationship." He sounded dejected, yet relieved.
"Had?" She became hopeful, when she heard the past tense in his sentence.
"Yeah. People who work in . . . high-risk situations they can't be involved romantically because it leads to things like what happened."
"High-risk situations." Like ours, she thought bitterly..
"Every single day it's with us. There's this line, and we can't cross it. You know what I'm saying?"
Looking at the ground, Brennan replied "Yes. I understand." She understood. They'd never be together. He had just made sure of that. And she had just lost the only thing that had been keeping her from being completely miserable.
'He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do'
Walking into the smoke-filled bar, he glanced around. It wasn't the nicest establishment, but it was out of the way, and he knew he wouldn't have to be friendly. No one he knew ever came to this side of town, and that was just how he wanted it.
Sitting down on a bar stool, he asked the bartender for a drink and turned his attention to the wooden bar in front of him. He wondered how he could've been so stupid, making up that sentence.
"Every single day it's with us. There's this line, and we can't cross it. You know what I'm saying?"
He knew what he was doing. He was trying to protect her. But he had seen the shadow that had passed across her eyes, and the walls he had been working so hard to bring down had gone back up. He was sure that they would be twice as thick this time around. He hadn't intentionally hurt her, he could never intentionally hurt her.
'Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause'
The voice singing on stage brought him out of his reverie, and he glanced at the singer. He was sitting in the back of the bar, but that didn't stop him from identifying her the moment he looked up.
'He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do'
Booth sat there and stared at his partner on stage. Of all the bars in all of DC, they had ended up at the very same one. And she was on stage singing.
She must be drunk, he thought. There's no other way she'd get up there. He continued to sit there and listen to her entrancing words.
'So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight'
He sighed. He knew he had hurt her earlier during their talk, but he hadn't realized just how much. He needed to fix it. He just didn't know how.
'He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..'
Closing her eyes, she imagined him holding her all night long, comforting, and making all her doubts disappear. After a hard case, after seeing her father- all those times when he was there. But he would never be hers. Quietly, she sang the last line.
'Booth looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.'
As the last chords of the song played, she wiped a stray tear from her cheek. Yes, this song had been the right one. It conveyed everything she had felt. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and replaced the microphone. She left the stage as the DJ came over the speaker,
"Please give it up for our cute little Roxie. Next up, we have a last minute entry. Please welcome to the stage, Tony Scallion."
Brennan froze, half way out the door, when she heard the name. There was no way that they ended up in the same bar on the same night. What if he'd heard her sing?
The music started to play, and he got ready to sing. This was the only way he thought of to apologize in such a short amount of time. Hopefully, this didn't bomb out.
"This song goes out to Roxie. I'm sorry."
'Still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss
It's getting better baby
No one can better this
Still holding on, you're still the one
First time our eyes met
Same feeling I get
Only feels much stronger
Wanna love you longer
You still turn the fire on'
As he sang the words, he started to move through the crowd. He smiled at a few, though he didn't stop. He was going to find her and make things right.
'so if you're feelin' lonely don't
you're the only one I ever want
I only wanna make it good
so if I love you a little more than I should'
She saw him move off stage, but was frozen to her spot. He was singing to her. Not only had he heard her sing, he saw right through the fake name, and now he was singing to her!
'Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me I need you like I do
Please believe me every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you'
By the time he started the chorus, he'd located her in the crowd, and he was almost there. He locked eyes with her, and hoped that he could convey how sorry he was. Some of the lyrics didn't fit their relationship, he knew; however, the overall message was exactly what he was looking for.
'Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch
Still getting closer baby
Can't get close enough
Still holding on you're still number one
I remember the smell of your skin
I remember everything
I remember all your moves
I remember you, yeah
I remember the nights, you know I still do'
Standing close, he took her hand, and entwined his fingers with her.. Gently, he tugged her away from the door, hoping that he could keep her from running.
The warmth of his hand shook her out of her daze, and she realized that he was standing in front of her. She was listening to his smooth voice deliver the lyrics of the song. They seemed to fit their relationship; yet, she was getting mixed signals. Was he trying to tell her that their chat in the park wasn't noteworthy? He had sat there and told her that they could never be more, but now, he was telling her the exact opposite.
'So if you're feeling lonely don't
You're the only one I ever want
I only want to make it good
So if I love you a little more than I should'
She knew he'd never leave her. He promised he never would. But he drew a line.
'Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me I need you like I do
Yeah, believe me every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you'
He loved her. He knew that.. But he had to find a way to make sure that she knew it. Booth saw the love he had for her reflected in her eyes, but it was still guarded.
'The one thing I'm sure of, is the way we made love
The one thing I depend on, is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin', it's why I'm saying
Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me if I need you like I do
babe, believe me every word I say is true
Please forgive me if I can't stop lovin' you
no, believe me I don't know what I do
Please forgive me if I can't stop loving you
Can't stop loving you'
When the last notes of the music were played, they had made their way back up to the stage. She was staring into his eyes, full of questions. Slowly, he leaned down and whispered "I love you. I'm so sorry about earlier. I should've realized that we were way past that line, even before I drew it. Please, forgive me."
Pulling her hand away, she took a step back. And then another. The bewildered look on her face said it all. She was scared. Without even realizing it, she reached the exit of the bar, and headed out. She could hear the tumult in the bar, and knew that he must be following her out. She made her way to her car, but didn't get in. She just waited against the car.
Even with her eyes closed, she knew exactly when he approached her. She could smell his cologne mixed with what she assumed was his scent. The smell was distinctly him. And she loved it.
When she felt the car move slightly, she opened her eyes. Those blue eyes came face to face with his chocolate browns; he had braced himself with an arm on each side of her. She could see he was filled with concern and love, and it was enough to make her throat constrict. Tears pooled in her eyes, but they didn't fall.
"So, what about high-risk situations?" She asked
"As long as you don't have a gun, I'm not worried." He grinned, trying to break the tension.
She smacked his arm. "I love you Temperance. I'm sorry I hurt you, and I know you're scared."
"Are you going to leave me? Just like the rest of them?"
"You know I won't."
Deciding that he actually meant it, she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his head down to meet hers. The kiss was soft, and full of promises. They each knew that there would be a lot to work through, but it was enough to know that she was willing to try. And that's all he could ask for.
