Hero/Heroine.

Chapter 1 –

Death Cab for Cutie – Someday She Will be Loved.

"So Bella, how was your trip to see your mother?" I shrugged taking a sip of my coffee and lighting my cigarette, Dr. Lewis gave me a disapproving look, I stared at her blankly and she glanced away writing something down.

"How do you expect her to be Dr. Lewis she's paralysed from the waist downwards and has just been diagnosed with cancer, well I think she's partying hard right now don't you?"

She glanced up at me through her designer glasses and wrote something else down, I had to visit Dr. Lewis, my "shrink" every Tuesday and Friday to discuss how I was "coping."

"Bella you've only just started to visit her again, how did it make you feel?" I stubbed out my cigarette ad blew smoke away from her.

"If I'm honest Alison, pretty awful. It brought back a bucket load of memories and when I finally find the woman who left me she's half dead. She doesn't talk unless to insult me…" My voice cracked and I took another sip of coffee, "I don't understand what I did or what I can do? I feel terrible even though I don't need to then there's the flashbacks." My voice was raised by now and I was wringing my hands, my breathing became laboured and my vision began to go cloudy.

"Bella! Bella! Stay with me! Here take these." She pulled out a small box of tablets, Ciraplex, I took a one and the swirling in front of my eyes slowed to a slow spinning and I felt my breathing become calmer.

"Bella I'm putting you on 20 mgs of Ciraplex, have you been having regular panic attacks?"

I nodded, "I had quite a few on a regular basis this week, it's led to more flashbacks, I – I just I – I thought I had them under control now."

"Bella you've just started visiting your mother for more than an hour, it's bound to take its toll it's understandable. With that Bella I think I'm going to organise a double session for Friday, take the Ciraplex however they will help with the panic attacks and flashbacks."

I nodded standing and pocketing the tablets.

"See you Friday."

I slipped my jacket back on and left the office smiling at the secretary, Mrs. Wilkinson, as soon as I was outside I breathed out a sigh of relief and lit another cigarette and strolled back to my apartment. I was currently studying art and literature at NYU this was my second year so my bestfriend Jasper and I were staying in a small flat in the lower East Side. I'd know Jasper since I was 16 when I'd moved back in with Charlie after everything that happened with my mom and then Victoria and James. Jasper and his sister Rosalie saved me, Rosalie was a year older than us and turned in to practically my older sister whereas Jasper was like my brother. They'd both moved up from Tennessee, when their mom had died so their dad took them to live with their grandparents who coincidently lived next door to Charlie. We met later on and became inseparable, Jasper was my protector and Rosalie showed my all the things my mom should have showed me, like putting on make-up and doing my hair and clothes. I loved them both.

"Hey Jazz! I'm home." I wandered in to the living room and smiled there he was asleep, his big feet hanging off one end and then his head off the other his loose blonde curls bouncing from where he moved in his sleep, his eyes were closed peacefully.

"Bella-rina!" I spun around and there in all her glory was Rosalie, she pulled me in to a tight hug and patted my head, she was 5'10 so she towered over my small 5'3. Rosalie was a blonde equivalent of Jasper her blonde her hung messy and curly down to her chest, bright blue eyes and full lips and then her killer figure Rosalie looked like the perfect girl and on the outside you could mistake her for Barbie but being brought up with boys made her passion for cars grow and inside her was a scruffy grease monkey. Her biggest passion was cars, she owned a big popular garage and car renovating station, now I'm not a car and motor girl but Rosalie could tear about an engine, improve and put it together without even thinking about it.

"Rose! It's so good to see, what are you doing down here? Not that I'm not glad to see you."

"Oh Bella, I've met the most amazing guy he looks just like Kellan Lutz but better, I've never felt this way before, ever." I smiled, Rosalie had, had a hard time with men her ex Royce was a grade A dick, he'd treat her like shit and fucked her around in the end though she left after Jasper had left him a present on his face. So yeah I was ecstatic she had found someone, I still felt that pang in my chest though the pang that made me realise how alone I was.

-flashback-

"Your fucking disgusting, you vile little piece of scum, lie there and choke, choke you ugly fat whore." My mom aimed another kick to me stomach and stood on my face her heel digging in my cheek laughing. Phil pulled me up then slapped me down again, I started sobbing and this made them laugh even more.

"Come here little Bell, Uncle James wants to see you."

My mom pulled me over to "Uncle James" Phils friend, a fat balding man with a long pony tail who stuck of liquour and sweat, I don't think he ever washed. He then started beating me, he liked to take his belt off and beat me with the metal on the end, then came the kicking again he'd kick me from one end of the house to the other. After he'd finished my mom picked my up by my hair and shoved me in the cupboard the place I'd grew to fear more than Phil and James beating.

"Momma not the cupboard please, momma no, momma I'm scared. I'm sorry I love you momma!" I cried and pleaded this just made her laugh and slap me more then shove me in there, where I lay and cried till they remembered I was here.

-end of flashback-

"Bella?! Bella! Are you there? Bella! Say something please." I groaned and opened my eyes, why the hell was I on Jaspers bed? And how did I get here? Oh shit another flashback, I tried to sit up and Jasper pushed me down smoothing my hair.

"Jasper I need my Ciraplex in my bag, can them please?" He ran out search for my bag, and Rose swooped in to his place.

"What happened Bella?"

"Flashback, I – I've been having them ever since I visited my mom."

"Bella! I told you, you should have took me when you visited her, next time tell me. Look what she's done to you!"

Jasper came running back in with the Ciraplex and a glass of water I took one and felt the effects quite quickly, they were good I had to admit.

"If you don't mind you guys I'm gonna take a nap…"

"Bella, I had planned for us to go out tonight to meet Emmett, I'll just cancel honey its okay." She smiled softly and I felt terrible.

"NO! no I'll just nap for a few hours, what time do you want to go out?"

"7 but it's cool your more important, Emmett will unders-"

"Rose no, I'll nap till 5 then you can help me with my outfit, you're important to me so it's okay I promise."

She wanted to argue but I shook my head and she smiled kissing my cheek.

"Ok, but Jasper wants to lie with you then."

I nodded and Jasper crawled in by my side and hugged me.

"Night lil' darlin' sweet dreams."

"Night Jazzy."

Say hello to Edward next chapter be kind and review thanks.