Sleeping Beauty
*I think I should have started at the begining of my book.*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Narrator Jeff: Once upon a time a king and queen ruled a kingdom of many wonders.
Amania: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on a second here. Are you telling another fairy tale?
Narrator Jeff: Isn't that what it looks like?
Amania: Well, yeah. Why are you doing it?
Narrator: I need the money.
Amania: Money?
Dark Enchantress: Who says your getting paid for telling this story, Jeff?
Narrator Jeff: What? You mean I'm not getting paid for this?
Amania: I think the word your looking for is DUH.
Jeff: Don't you have some "Angel" re-runs to watch or a book to read or something?
Amania: Hey. I can do two things at the same time, can't I? Not that I don't like the idea.
Dark Enchantress: Hey! Jeff, don't you have a job to do here?
Jeff: I still think I should be getting paid for this.
Dark Enchantress: Just do it. I need something to do.
Jeff: Fine. Fine.
*Sarcastically* The royal couple was happy. But they would have been much happier, if they had a child. They almost gave up hope of ever being parents, when at last the queen gave birth to a baby girl.
Dark Enchantress: *Screaming* Jeff!
Jeff: Ok. Ok! Hesh!
The king was so thrilled that he decreed the royal christening would take place in the castle to be followed by a great royal feast. The entire court, and the seven major fairies of the kingdom, was invited to attend.
The big day arrived. The castle was filled with its finest treasures. The grand dining hall was sparkling and all the castle servants were dressed in their best outfits.
Amania: Boring.
Narrator Jeff: After the christening, in the chapel, everyone came into the dining hall and took their seats at the guest banquet tables.
King: Look under your napkins. I have prepared a special gift for each of you!
Amania: Now there's a lie.
Narrator Jeff: The fairies all lifted their napkins.
Fairy: How magnificent!
Amania: I'm sure.
Narrator Jeff: Indeed.
Amania: Oh my god. Jeff said "Indeed" Ha! That's funny! He would never say that.
Narrator Jeff: That's what it says in the script. Ok?
Amania: Sigh. Just get on with it.
Narrator Jeff: Each of the fairies had received a golden case. Inside each case were a knife, a fork, and a spoon, all made of diamonds and gold.
Amania: You would think he would give out cigars.
7th fairy: I will treasure this gift for ever.
Narrator Jeff: The seventh and youngest fairy murmured.
Lady: Where is my gift?
Narrator Jeff: Came a grumbling voice from the entrance way. Everyone turned. Standing in the entrance was an old, ugly-looking woman.
Amania: I remember the last time he said that to a person. And then looked what happened. Not a good thing.
Narrator Jeff: Hmm. That was another story. Anyway. The king asked:
King: Who is that?
"She's an old fairy."
Narrator Jeff: One of the fairies replied.
Fairy: But on one has seen her in over fifty years! It's rumored she lilves alone in her castle with no one but bats and snakes for company.
Amania: No kidding.
Narrator Jeff: The king motioned to the old woman.
King: I don't have any more gold boxes, but you are welcome to join us in our feast.
Lady: No gold box for me.
Narrator Jeff: The old crone mumbled.
Amania: Sigh.
Lady: Then I promise something wicked will befall your little baby.
Amania: Surprise, surprise.
Narrator Jeff: The only one to hear those words mumbled was the youngest fairy. She was frightened by them, but decided to wait and see what happened.
Amania: I'll tell you what happened.
Narrator Jeff: Why don't you leave it to the professionals.
Amania: Humph! Professionals. I don't think your a professional.
1st fairy: It is now time for us to give our gifts to the baby princess. My gift is for her to be the most beautiful girl in the whole world.
Amania: Sure. Make it hard for the rest of us.
2nd fairy: I am giving her the goodness of an angel.
Amania: I think I'm going to be sick.
3rd fairy: My gift is to bestow grace on everything she does.
4th fairy: I shall give her the gift of dance.
5th fairy: I give her the most perfect singing voice in the kingdom.
6th Fairy: I guarantee she will be able to play every musical instrument perfectly.
Amania: That's what I need.
Narrator Jeff: Before the seventh and youngest fairy could offer her gift...
Amania: Don't you think that they've metioned that fact a little too often?
Narrator Jeff: The ugly old fairy stood up.
Wicked Fairy: I have a gift to give. I give her death!
Amania: How can that be a gift? It's a gift that I would return in a flash, I'll tell you that much.
Narrator Jeff: Everyone gasped.
Wicked Fairy: I predict a needle will pierce her skin, causing her to bleed, and then kill her instantly.
Narrator Jeff: Everyone began to shout at the old fairy.
Amania: She said predict! I heard her say that. It even says that!
Narrator Jeff: The king and queen began to cry. The seventh fairy then held up her hand.
7th Fairy: Wait!
Narrator Jeff: She called out.
7th Fairy: I, too, have a gift. Now, I cannot prevent a needle from piercing your daughter's skin. But I promise you she will not die. She will, instead, sleep for one hundred years.
Amania: Ha! All those gifts going to waist. What a pity.
7th Fairy: After one hundred years, a handsome young prince will come to her, kiss her, and she will awake. She and the prince will then live a happy life together.
Amania: Oh yeah. Didn't see that one coming.
Narrator Jeff: At that point, the feast ended.
Amania: Yay!
Narrator Jeff: The fairies all returned to their parts of the kingdom. The ugly old fairy returned to her creepy castle and was not seen again.
*I think I should have started at the begining of my book.*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Narrator Jeff: Once upon a time a king and queen ruled a kingdom of many wonders.
Amania: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on a second here. Are you telling another fairy tale?
Narrator Jeff: Isn't that what it looks like?
Amania: Well, yeah. Why are you doing it?
Narrator: I need the money.
Amania: Money?
Dark Enchantress: Who says your getting paid for telling this story, Jeff?
Narrator Jeff: What? You mean I'm not getting paid for this?
Amania: I think the word your looking for is DUH.
Jeff: Don't you have some "Angel" re-runs to watch or a book to read or something?
Amania: Hey. I can do two things at the same time, can't I? Not that I don't like the idea.
Dark Enchantress: Hey! Jeff, don't you have a job to do here?
Jeff: I still think I should be getting paid for this.
Dark Enchantress: Just do it. I need something to do.
Jeff: Fine. Fine.
*Sarcastically* The royal couple was happy. But they would have been much happier, if they had a child. They almost gave up hope of ever being parents, when at last the queen gave birth to a baby girl.
Dark Enchantress: *Screaming* Jeff!
Jeff: Ok. Ok! Hesh!
The king was so thrilled that he decreed the royal christening would take place in the castle to be followed by a great royal feast. The entire court, and the seven major fairies of the kingdom, was invited to attend.
The big day arrived. The castle was filled with its finest treasures. The grand dining hall was sparkling and all the castle servants were dressed in their best outfits.
Amania: Boring.
Narrator Jeff: After the christening, in the chapel, everyone came into the dining hall and took their seats at the guest banquet tables.
King: Look under your napkins. I have prepared a special gift for each of you!
Amania: Now there's a lie.
Narrator Jeff: The fairies all lifted their napkins.
Fairy: How magnificent!
Amania: I'm sure.
Narrator Jeff: Indeed.
Amania: Oh my god. Jeff said "Indeed" Ha! That's funny! He would never say that.
Narrator Jeff: That's what it says in the script. Ok?
Amania: Sigh. Just get on with it.
Narrator Jeff: Each of the fairies had received a golden case. Inside each case were a knife, a fork, and a spoon, all made of diamonds and gold.
Amania: You would think he would give out cigars.
7th fairy: I will treasure this gift for ever.
Narrator Jeff: The seventh and youngest fairy murmured.
Lady: Where is my gift?
Narrator Jeff: Came a grumbling voice from the entrance way. Everyone turned. Standing in the entrance was an old, ugly-looking woman.
Amania: I remember the last time he said that to a person. And then looked what happened. Not a good thing.
Narrator Jeff: Hmm. That was another story. Anyway. The king asked:
King: Who is that?
"She's an old fairy."
Narrator Jeff: One of the fairies replied.
Fairy: But on one has seen her in over fifty years! It's rumored she lilves alone in her castle with no one but bats and snakes for company.
Amania: No kidding.
Narrator Jeff: The king motioned to the old woman.
King: I don't have any more gold boxes, but you are welcome to join us in our feast.
Lady: No gold box for me.
Narrator Jeff: The old crone mumbled.
Amania: Sigh.
Lady: Then I promise something wicked will befall your little baby.
Amania: Surprise, surprise.
Narrator Jeff: The only one to hear those words mumbled was the youngest fairy. She was frightened by them, but decided to wait and see what happened.
Amania: I'll tell you what happened.
Narrator Jeff: Why don't you leave it to the professionals.
Amania: Humph! Professionals. I don't think your a professional.
1st fairy: It is now time for us to give our gifts to the baby princess. My gift is for her to be the most beautiful girl in the whole world.
Amania: Sure. Make it hard for the rest of us.
2nd fairy: I am giving her the goodness of an angel.
Amania: I think I'm going to be sick.
3rd fairy: My gift is to bestow grace on everything she does.
4th fairy: I shall give her the gift of dance.
5th fairy: I give her the most perfect singing voice in the kingdom.
6th Fairy: I guarantee she will be able to play every musical instrument perfectly.
Amania: That's what I need.
Narrator Jeff: Before the seventh and youngest fairy could offer her gift...
Amania: Don't you think that they've metioned that fact a little too often?
Narrator Jeff: The ugly old fairy stood up.
Wicked Fairy: I have a gift to give. I give her death!
Amania: How can that be a gift? It's a gift that I would return in a flash, I'll tell you that much.
Narrator Jeff: Everyone gasped.
Wicked Fairy: I predict a needle will pierce her skin, causing her to bleed, and then kill her instantly.
Narrator Jeff: Everyone began to shout at the old fairy.
Amania: She said predict! I heard her say that. It even says that!
Narrator Jeff: The king and queen began to cry. The seventh fairy then held up her hand.
7th Fairy: Wait!
Narrator Jeff: She called out.
7th Fairy: I, too, have a gift. Now, I cannot prevent a needle from piercing your daughter's skin. But I promise you she will not die. She will, instead, sleep for one hundred years.
Amania: Ha! All those gifts going to waist. What a pity.
7th Fairy: After one hundred years, a handsome young prince will come to her, kiss her, and she will awake. She and the prince will then live a happy life together.
Amania: Oh yeah. Didn't see that one coming.
Narrator Jeff: At that point, the feast ended.
Amania: Yay!
Narrator Jeff: The fairies all returned to their parts of the kingdom. The ugly old fairy returned to her creepy castle and was not seen again.