Disclaimer: I don't own it. Just borrowing.
Authors Note: The song is a christian hymn the alternative lyrics were created by myself and my good friend on the way back from a very very boring school maths trip, the story was written to fit round them. Enjoy!
Damon was hammering on the door. "Elena!" He yelled, his anger and frustration evident. "Open the door right now or I will kill Stefan."
"No chance." Elena responded smugly, "You will sort out your differences or I'll leave you here for the next few hundred years."
Damon stared at the door, trying and failing to disguise his horror. He then turned and glared at his younger brother. Stefan was standing on the opposite side of the attic with a distinctly panicked look on his face. At that moment, the most fitting description would have been a very fluffy little bunny caught in some very vicious headlights.
"You didn't really mean that did you? The part about killing me." He asked anxiously.
"Oh I assure you, I most certainly did, and now, I have plenty of time to decide on the best way to do it." Damon smiled, his white teeth glinting through his lips making the fluffy bunny analogy all the more fitting.
This is gonna be a long century thought Stefan wearily before sliding down to a comfortable sitting position on the floor.
2 hours of complete silence
Stefan was bored. Very very bored. To pass the time he started to sing several little tunes in his head. He was unaware when he started to sing out loud.
"You shall go out with joy,
And be lead forth with peace,
And the mountains and the hills shall rise up before you,
There'll be shouts of joy and the trees of the field shall clap shall clap their hands,
And the trees of the field shall clap their hands,
And the trees of the field shall clap their hand,
And you'll go out with joy."
He then noticed Damon looking at him with a very strange expression on his face.
"What?" Asked Stefan, as he once again turned into the poor little fluffy bunny.
"You've got the words all wrong," said Damon, voice dripping with contempt for his idiotic little brother who couldn't even get some simple lyrics right.
"No I haven't. It's a traditional Christian hymn, those are the right words."
"What do you mean Christian? It's a good old fashioned daemon song."
"Well if you're so clever, what are the words then?"
Damon visibly preened himself, adopting a showy pose not unlike the pose actors normally took up when they recited the famous Romeo and Juliet scene on the balcony.
"You shall go out with sin,
And be lead forth by lust,
And the zombies in the field shall rise up before you,
There'll be shouts of fear and the zombies in the field shall gnash shall gnash their teeth,
And the zombies in the field shall gnash their teeth,
And the zombies in the field shall gnash their teeth,
And you'll go out with sin."
To complete the already slightly unbelievable scene, Damon bowed lavishly several times and accepted some imaginary applause. Stefan looked around for the drugs or alcohol that Damon must have been partaking of when he wasn't looking.
After a few moments Damon realised what he was doing and stopped dead. His first instinct was to murder Stefan immediately, never mind thinking of a good way to do it, to prevent the story of what had happened getting any further. His second thought was, that maybe they'd finally found some common ground. He then had the strong urge to check his arms for evidence of heroine consumption and to smell his breath to look for evidence of large amounts of alcohol.
Stefan just stared. His whole perception of his brother had just been flipped on its head. That was until Damon opened his mouth and completely ruined the moment.
"Never speak of this to anyone or I will remove vital organs one by one while you are awake and watching, then I'll feed them to you in a sandwich and then I will kill you."
Stefan sighed, same old Damon, unless…
"I thought you were magnificent. Lovely singing voice quite fantastic, and you managed to keep a very intimidating presence at the same time"
Damon stared. His whole perception of his brother had just been flipped on its head.
"What?"
"I think we should make a band," Stefan continued in a dreamy voice, "The Salvatore brothers. I know a few music producers, I'll contact them."
"Stefan," anger somehow made Damon forget he didn't use the name, "Are you taking something I should know about?"
"Oh no, " came the friendly reply, "Its just, either I tell everyone what a great singer you are or you actually start being nice to me so we can get out of this attic and I can stop fearing for my vital organs." Stefan momentarily reverted to his fluffy bunny persona and glanced down at his body with a shudder.
Damon thought. Then thought a bit more.
"Deal."
Stefan stuck his hand out and Damon shook it reluctantly. However, over the next few hours as they waited for Elena to return and check on them, something very strange happened. They started to enjoy each other's company, and then gradually, they started to trade songs, and after 5 more hours they were singing and laughing away. This transformation was greatly helped by the discovery of several bottles of vodka in a crate hidden behind a rather disgusting mirror.
When Elena returned. She reached the stairs and heard strange noises coming from the attic. It's singing her brain informed her. Elena mentally tried to total up how much alcohol she had consumed that day. She crept up the stairs so that she could investigate before Damon and Stefan heard her. She knelt down and looked through the keyhole. After a few seconds the leant back, blinked and looked again. She could hardly believe what she was seeing. Damon and Stefan were sitting on the floor, arms round each other swaying from side to side. Each held a bottle of vodka and both were in the middle of singing a rousing rendition of, "What shall we do with the drunken vampire?" It must be the alcohol she though, please let it be the alcohol. Elena did want them to get on better, but this level of friendship was just disturbing.
"Damon? Stefan?" she called through the door in a loud voice to interrupt their singing.
"Elena!" All drunkenness was stripped from Damon's voice as he scrambled to the door; a rather wobbly Stefan sluggishly followed him.
"Have you two sorted out your differences?" Elena was rather scared of the answer she would get.
"Of course!" Stefan's voice was slurred and hard to understand, "We're the best of friends now." A low groan and then a thud followed this statement.
"Stefan? Damon have you hurt him!"
"No, the idiots had too much to drink."
"Oh." Elena considered the situation. She could take their word for it and let them out, the evidence was there, or she could leave them there and let them get even more drunk. Though option two was appealing Elena was deeply concerned for Stefan's health, she didn't think he could handle the drink too well.
"All right. I'm letting you out." The moment she opened the door Damon was out and already making his way down the stairs muttering something about saving his reputation. Elena looked in and saw Stefan lying on the floor cuddling a bottle of vodka and smiling happily. She sighed and picked up the bottle and took a sip. She then settled down to wait for Stefan to wake up, by which time she was hopelessly drunk.