Just a series of drabbles I wanted to do, popping at at random points during the day. Doesn't really add to the plot-line in the slightest, but could add insight to what possibly happened after the Blight.

Also, I haven't played the Awakening yet (yeah, I know, I'm a bad geek D: ) so there won't be any mentioning of the characters from that…I am deeply sorry. Would you expect a human sacrfice as an apology? No. That's what I thought.

A word of warning; there's a few character deaths, some sex. If that stuff bothers you, get the hell out of my story.

I don't own Dragon Age or any of it's characters.

Chapter One: Duty

Funny. I had never realized how menacing the Circle Tower looks, towering over Lake Calenhad, which, in the direct noon sunlight, was a sparkling gem. Looks were deceiving, though. There were times when I still lived in the Tower, and when there was a storm brewing, and I glanced out the window, the Lake was dark, black, never-ending, and purely terrifying.

Despite the brightness of the day, to me, it still felt like I was in the middle of a hurricane.

I held my breath as I traveled across the lake, and opened the large doors of the Tower. My heart beat wildly. One would think I would be relieved to going home, without worry of gaining an army from them. Most of the rebuilding was done; it was livable. I, of course, couldn't help them rebuild. They wouldn't want my help.

Alistair would be fine on his own. He's a big boy now, and can easily lead Ferelden on his own, Sten had set out to go back to Par Vollen, Morrigan had disappeared, and Leliana had ventured out to find the Ashes, Oghren was settling down with Felsi, and Zevran was the only one I had left, which wasn't shocking, considering no one else really liked me all that much, and even then, Zevran was still at the Spoiled Princess. He offered to come along, but I told him I needed to do this myself.

I had to tell the truth.

"Gregoir!" I said with an urgentacy that sounded almost suspicious. "Where is Cullen?"

"He's by the stairs to the Senior Mage Quarters…why?" Good old Gregoir. He knew that every time Cullen saw me, he stuttered like mad.

"Don't worry about it." I retorted, nearly running to the library, ignoring the looks and even the congradulations on killing the archdemon, and stormed into the room where Cullen, looking both shocked and happy, now stood.

No one else was in the room. Perfect.

"S-Solona." He said. "What are you doing here?" I bit my lip, regretting what I was about to do.

"I have a confession to make, Cullen." I walked closer, and put my hand on his shoulder. "Please, tell me you won't over-react or do anything…rash."

"W-what? Why would I…?" he stuttered. I held up a finger to his lips.

"Just listen." I took a deep breath. "I always knew that you…thought of me before I went through with my Harrowing. You were the only templar that didn't act like I was scum or wanted me to 'break his vows'," I admitted. It was true-not all templars honored their vows. "I thought it was…endearing. Like I had a…protector." Damn it, stop blushing. "But when I came upon you before the Harrowing Chamber, what you said both shocked and shamed me, and before you jump to conclusions, hear me out. I didn't know you felt that way about me. I can only imagine what sort of 'visions' they tormented you with…" I chuckled.

"You don't want to know…not that it was anything bad; I would never think of you that why…" he clamped his jaw in anger at his own tounge. "I mean…I do think of you that way, every now and then, but I would never…" he gave a nervous chuckle. "I'm not like that, I…" he sighed, giving up. I laughed.

"Don't stress yourself, Cullen. I understand…but you might want to get rid of any of those feelings." I put my hand on his cheek, forcing him to look me in the eyes. "And it's not because we're forbidden to love each other Cullen. You know me-I wouldn't give a damn if the Maker himself came down and told me we couldn't be together. I wouldn't care. And it's not because I don't think that you're an amazing man…any woman would be lucky to have you, Cullen. You're caring, protective, loyal, and…extremely handsome." He began to blush like mad. "And it's certainly not because I didn't feel the same way." My heart was pounding and I could feel it in my head. My every instinct screamed at me to stop, but I'll be damned if I back out now. "It's because I'm…a blood mage."

The look on his face shattered me.

Shock. Betrayal. Sadness. rememberance. Resurfaced pain. Hatred.

"Y-you! You're a-a…blood mage." He spat the word with more vemon then I thought possible, and I fought bitter tears.

"Cullen, you have to understand…"

"NO! There's NOTHING to understand about blood magic! It's evil and wrong and the work of demons!" He roared. "I cannot believe that you, of all people!"

"Cullen, I had to! I'm a Grey Warden, and I had to be stronger…I only use the main concepts of it, and I've never used mind control or fiddled with demons, I swear. Darkspawn are helpless to blood magic, and my life was to kill darkspawn. Please, Cullen, you must understand duty!" I had meant it to be a yell, but it came out as a frenzied cry.

"No! You must understand that blood magic is vile and wrong!" He had his back turned to me, most likely too angery to face me.

"I understand that Cullen, I truly do!"

"Then why'd you do it?"

"Because I had to! Do you think I could have stopped the archdemon by flinging a couple meager spells, and hitting it over the head with my staff? You are sadly mistaken!" I flung my hands into the air. "Grey Wardens do what they must, and since I was one of the two left Ferelden, I kind of had to take it to extremes!" I knew he would react like this, yet I came anyway. "Cullen," I grabbed his shoulder, and made him turn to me. "Cullen look at me…" I was surprised to see a tear welling in his eye that he quickly wiped away. "I am a fool. An unlucky fool. I am sorry."

"Neria." He said, breathless. "They're going to kill you."

"You mean…you aren't going to?" I was truly shocked. I expected having to tie him up with the rope hidden in my pack, or use some sort of magic on him he wouldn't expect. He had always put himself as a templar first. He had always been so dutiful and strong, but now…I guess he had reached his limit.

"No. I can't. Even if I did it…I don't think I could live with myself."

"You didn't stutter." I said hopefully. I reached up, putting my arms around his neck, and pressed my lips to his.

I had been wanting to do that for so long.

"Solona, you have to get out of here. I promise I won't tell a soul, but it's best you go. I…maybe we'll see each other again someday." He smiled hopefully. "I'll miss you. More then you know."

"Cullen…you're amazing. Thank you." I held him tightly for just one moment, hoping to savor it, and remember it for the rest of my life, but I did force myself away, and with a quiet, 'Good-bye,' I left the library.

I felt relativity calm as I walked down the hall, but all that calmness faded away as I heard someone yell, 'She's a blood mage!'

Within seconds, templars were upon me.

I had devolped a sort of awareness when things like this occurred. I noticed that Cullen had entered the room surprisingly quietly. I rememberd that I had two daggers hidden in my robe. I also noticed that I couldn't use any magic.

I drew my daggers. I had always carried them; they have proven useful on multiple occassions. It might just save my life this time.

Of course, two daggers were nothing against three armed men. They quickly disarmed me, but of course, I struggled like mad. Their hard armor bruised me and I felt as if I were being crushed. They had forced me into a position where my legs were pinned, my shoulders pressed against the stone floor, and my head being held up, my throat bared, but sadly, they had no way cut my throat.

"Cullen!" the one pinning me yelled.

"If you let go of me," I hissed. "I will surrender myself to Cullen, and only Cullen. Remember, templars. I defeated the archdemon." They sighed, and released me.

Cullen drew his sword, and he looked a mess. Sorrow and regret and pain and love shined through his deep, brown eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright Cullen." I coaxed. "I'm a blood mage. There are consequences."

Irving stumbled into the room at that moment, but Gregoir quietly explained that I was a blood mage.

"I am most disappointed in you, Solona." He sighed.

"Cullen…do it. I've completed my duty as a Grey Warden. I will die in peace."

"I'm so sorry." He apoligized once more. I mouthed the words, 'I love you,' to him, and to my surprise, aloud he said, "I love you to." He pulled me into his arms, and kissed me one last time.

I was taken aback. I assumed he would restrain himself, due to the other templars and Gregoir in the room with him, but I guess he didn't care.

I hardly felt it when the blade sliced my throat.

"And what was all of that?" Gregoir asked, suspicion evident in his voice.

"Gregoir, I loved her." I admitted. It felt good to finally admit it. For so long, I had fought it, but I did. I truly loved her.

Maybe it was what Solona had said. She was a blood mage, yet she was a hero. Not all blood mages are evil. Not all mages are evil. Maybe, just maybe, we don't need templars, because if we teach the mages well, then they don't need protection.

I knew what faced me, however.

Aeonar.

"Cullen…I did not expect this from you." Gregoir sighed.

"I didn't expect this to happen."

I gave myself up easily. I let them take me to Aeonar, because I didn't really care anymore. What point was there, when all that I thought was true turned out to be false, and the one person that could have possibly helped me was dead?

I cried many times. They ran together. Eventually, the days ran together.

But the image of Solona, still full of pride and power, as I sliced her throat remained in my head.

I had killed the hero of Ferelden. I had destroyed my life, and my mind.

And yet, I regret none of this.

Cullen's a little out of character, but you can't really get anywhere with a yelling templar.