new fic from me starts at the end of episode 2. reviews welcome both good and bad please. its from emily's POV
I walk into the all too familiar house, as much as i want to i can't force myself to walk up the stairs to our, sorry her bedroom, i just can't. All i can do is walk into the living room look at all the photographs on the walls and try to block out all the horrible thoughts that are in my head. Had Sophia seen all these photos? touched them like i had? was it just a one off?. My eye's wander to one picture in particular, the same picture i'd been staring at when the postman had got a good show just yesterday.
Its a picture of me and Naomi when we went to London for the day . We're sat on a bench in Hyde Park, Naomi's arm wrapped tightely around my shoulders, giving me a kiss on the cheek but still her eyes are gleaming at the camera she was holding above us. I've got a massive smile on my face with my arm hung loosely over her waist and im leaning into her. It was one of the best days of my life because it was just us together, no idiots staring at us (well none that we knew anyway), no drama and best of all my mother wasn't there. How could all this have happened. I find myself drifting back to my thoughts. Had she already slept with Sophia by then?
I'm brought back down to earth as the living room door opens and she's stood in the doorway, staring at the ground for a few seconds before finally making eye contact. She looks so fragile and my heart strings tug but at the same time my head is saying how the fuck could she do this to me. I can't let her break me down now, I can't let her destroy me.
"Em.." she starts talking but i can't let her finish, i know exactly what she's going to say.
"just stop it, there is no point in apologising to me Naomi" i sit down on the sofa, not once taking my eyes away from hers, forcing her to keep eye contact with me "its just words, its not like they actually mean anything"
More tears fill her eyes and i have to close my own for a few seconds in order to compose myself. I feel the couch move slightly and i know she's now sat herself next to me
"i'm not even going to try and explain myself Ems, there's nothing i can say to justify this, but you have to know, i didn't tell you because i was trying to protect you, save you from getting hurt" I scoff at her words
"save me from getting hurt? Naomi if you really cared about not hurting me or just cared about me full stop you never would have done it in the first place" I can hear my voice getting louder as i speak.
"you know how much i care about you Emily, you're everything to me, you're all i care about" she reaches out for my hand put i pull it away roughly.
"I have to know something" she breathes in a deep sigh as she waits for my question "yesterday, when you gave me the goggles, and you said you love me..did you say it to hide your little secret, bought them for me so that i wouldn't find out about everything" her tears fall at my words and although i'm hurting so much i can't help but feel slightly guilty for even questioning it.
"Emily you know i meant every single little word i said to you yesterday, I do love you, I love you so much and thats what made me so scared"
"about what?"
"scared that i was going to lose everything and just be all alone"
"what so its my fault that you did this because i made you love someone, is that it"
"god no! Emily, no thats not what i'm saying, its not in anyway you're fault" I open my bag and pull out the goggles that she gave me yesterday, holding them out for her to take.
"I can't have these anymore, not now i know the truth"
"Emily you don't have to do this!" she reaches for my hand again and this time i let her take it "yes i've been a stupid fucking bitch but i know we can get through this, we're strong Em, stronger then this" my first tear falls as she practically begs me to forgive her. I let the goggles drop to the floor. "look i love you Emily and yes that does scare the shit out of me but i would rather be scared then go back to feeling alone and i am so so sorry" she reaches up with her other hand and wipes my tears away "can we start again?"
"I don't think i can do this right now, i need some time to think things over, i love you Naomi but i can't make myself stop hurting over this"
"i'm sorry" i suddenly feel really angry
"STOP SAYING YOU'RE SORRY OK" i stand up and i'm now screaming at her "HOW COULD YOU FUCKING DO THIS TO US, AFTER EVERYTHING WE WENT THROUGH IN THE FIRST PLACE, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND FUCK IT ALL UP, IT MEANS NOTHING ANYMORE" i pick up the london picture and throw it on the floor smashing the frame "NOTHING" i rip off the bracelet she bought me for my birthday "NOTHING" I'm crying hysterically as she rushes up to meet me as i start to fall, she wraps her arms around me and i let her hold me, just wanting to feel her love surrounding me.
She kisses my forehead as i sob against her chest. She strokes my hair and whispers in my ear that everything will be ok and that we can work this out. I calm myself down and pull out of our embrace to look her in the eye.
"I don't want to lose what we had"
"we don't have to Ems" she takes both my hands in hers
"I can't just forget about it though, its going to take a long time for us to get back to anywhere close to being normal"
"I don't care" she rests her forehead against mine and my head and heart are in a raging battle as they fight each other "I'll wait as long as it takes"
"I don't want to go back home"
"stay here, i can sleep in my mums room" i nod my head at her and she kisses my forehead again before she walks me to her room.
"I do love you emily, and like i said yesterday, don't ever forget it"
I nod my head. She leans in to kiss me but i turn my head away
"i can't" she looks heartbroken but i know she understands "goodnight Nai, I love you too"
I walk into her room and close the door on the person i care the most about in the entire world. I hear her walk away and its then that i break down. I climb into the bed exhausted from the days events.
everything in this room is a constant reminder of her and her betrayal. Wishing that i had opted to stay in Gina's room, I let the tears fall as i close my eyes, trying desperately to fall asleep and hoping that when i wake up it will all have been some horrible nightmare
But i know that's not going to happen, nothing's ever perfect...
ok please review!!!!!