Remember Me
The clock kept moving yet it seemed time had stood still. Nothing could compute anymore for anyone. Ever since that day nothing felt real, something was missing. Someone was missing. The worst thing was he would never come back. He couldn't come back. And that broke everyone's heart ten times over.
Finn was gone.
Rachel was set in the apartment, unmoving. She stared into the horizon and thought of nothing as time went on. Finn's name was the only thing running through her head; it didn't make sense. How could he be gone? Why him? Why did it have to be him?
Regret filled Rachel's head as she wiped away yet another tear. She could never have known the last time they broke up would be the last time. They'd never be together again. He'd never be hers again. She choked.
"You were my first love, and I want more than anything for you to be my last."
He won't be her last. She sobbed as the tear-stained faces of Kurt and Santana looked on at her, cuddling each other in their grief. No one said a word; only memories could hold any meaning to any of them.
Rachel thought of Finn. She wished she could kiss him and hug him and hold him one more time. Just once more she wanted to hear his voice. His beautiful voice. But he was gone. Her first love, her only love, was gone. She thought back to when he made her feel so special.
"You named a star after me?" She had asked him.
"No, I thought about it but then I named it Finn Hudson. Because there's already a star named Rachel Berry and she's right here on Earth and she's brighter than any of those stars up there. So, I wanted to know that whenever she feels lonely she can look up at the sky and no matter where I am she can know that I'm looking down on her."
Reminiscing their words made Rachel feel even worse about herself. The things she wanted to say to him...the things she'll never say to him again...
Once more she just wanted to tell him how much she loved him, and how sorry she was for everything she had done to hurt him, and how she wanted to beg and plead for him to never leave her again. But it was too late.
There was a knock on the door as Rachel carried on calling person after person; Quinn, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Sam, Puck, Brittany, Mike and others. She had even e-mailed Will and some other McKinley teachers. Nothing was helping her or anyone to get over her grief. Kurt had spent the last hour crying over the phone with Burt and a devastated Carole and now he was opening the door and collapsing into Blaine's arms as he saw him standing in the doorway. The two boys held each other and cried for the rest of the night, trying to find a way of coping somehow.
Rachel thought of how peaceful he must look now, his dashing eyes staring out into his perfect forever. He was sleeping now. Dreaming. Nothing could hurt him now.
She sat in silence as she heard Kurt and Blaine settling down and falling asleep for the first time since they had heard of Finn's passing. The tears started to fall after she had spent ten minutes on her own.
"Need a friend?" Santana asked quietly as she sat next to Rachel.
"I miss him. My heart's been ripped out." Rachel choked nearly silently. Santana hugged her.
"He's in a better place." Santana said. Rachel got out her phone and scrolled down her messages.
"He text me just after I came to New York, you know. I never had the heart to delete it." Rachel said delicately and tentatively handed her phone to Santana. She read the text.
'Remember me. –Finn'
Santana teared up as she read the message and burst into tears, wailing as she cried. Rachel held her tight and cried out loud to. It took a long while for the two girls to settle down, their heartbreak as raw as ever.
"What do you think he's doing up there?" Santana asked, looking up to the Heaven they had all started to believe in.
Kurt and Blaine stumbled out of Kurt's room, hand in hand, and joined the two girls to support them. Rachel smiled slightly as she stared at the text once more, thinking of her first love. She finally replied.
"Teaching Angels to play drums."
"No, I thought about it but then I named it Finn Hudson. Because there's already a star named Rachel Berry and she's right here on Earth and she's brighter than any of those stars up there. So, I wanted to know that whenever she feels lonely she can look up at the sky and no matter where I am she can know that I'm looking down on her."
His last episode was called "Sweet Dreams". His first and last proper group performance was 'Don't Stop Believin''. Just like Finn is watching over Rachel, he is watching over Lea.
R.I.P. Cory Monteith