Me-Gladiator

Hi. My name's Star. I'm a mediator? No. A Me-Gladiator. Like, escorts of the underworld, or something. Like, I help the ghost to find the afterlife, and then brief him on how to adapt and all. Also, if they don't wanna go to hell, I get to kick their butts.

And I'm in California right now. The Mayor of the Underworld gave me a list of some citizens he wants me to pick up. He also sent me a Terminator. He said, "'Cause the ghost there are too many and too fierce for only a Me-Gladiator to fight."

Terminators are like, the bodyguards of hell. I met one once. I mean, they're BIG, MUSCLY, and TOUGH. The ghosts in Carmel (that's where we're heading) must be super tough or something.

"What about a mediator?" I was saying. "She can tell us about the ghost."

"There's three mediators there. A Father Dominic, A Susannah Simon, and a Paul Slater."

If you can't understand Me-gladiators and Terminators, get this straight: A mediator marries a terminator, and POOF! a Me-Gladiator is born. Just kidding. But really, the concept is somewhat similar.

The Terminator is called Timothy. Haha. Not very tough, but if you ever saw his arms, you wouldn't think he's weedy.

I was driving a car. A Me-Gladiator is a very wealthy person, as I found out. Being almost half-terminator themselves, they are VERY rare. Usually, they're born in the underworld. But I'm not. I was born in a tomb.

Really. My mom was pregnant when she died. They buried her, not thinking that I was still alive. And the "Grim Reaper" (really a Me-Gladiator like me) was reaping her soul, when he spotted me. So he took me to the Underworld and reared me up. Now he's old, and I help him on his job.

We are supposed to go to a school called "Junippira Serra Mision Academy" or something. The mayor had sent the principal a message.

Oh, and the wealth thing? Well, when people die, they bring their money to the grave, right? So, the mayor gets rich from all the offerings. Especially from Asia. People burn money there.

The powers part. Ok, Terminators have superhuman strength (duh, they are superhuman), Me-Galdiators have their wits (yeah, right!), and Mediators got survival instincts.

I was greeted at the door by a brunette and a hot Spanish guy.

Don't ask me how I know he's Spanish. I just know. Maybe it's because I "reaped" so many souls, I'm familiar with their personalities.

"Hey. You must be the Mediator, right?" I asked. "I'm Star." I said, as I got out of my limo, Timothy lurking out the side door. I was wearing a black suit and black shades, very Terminator (I mean the movie). In real life, Terminators are not half-cyborgs. They just aren't full human.

The brunette nodded. "Hi. I'm Susannah Simon, but you can call me Suze. And here's Hector Jesse de Silva." She pointed to the hunk beside her (obviously her boyfriend).

"Just call me Jesse," Jesse grinned.

"Hi. Where's the other Mediator?" I asked.

"You mean me?" A guy with curly brown hair walked out, smiling roguishly at Susannah. I hate guys with curly hair. Maybe it's 'cause I have curly brown hair as well. But I dyed it black with red highlights. Cool, huh?

"No. I mean your principal." I just hated that guy on sight. He must be Paul Slater. The renowned Mediator who disturbs the Me-Gladiators, 'cause he keeps on disrupting the Death Timeline by going back in time.

Susannah and Jesse escorted me to the priest's office. He was a tall man in his sixties, looking very wise (etc. Obi-wan Kenobi-like).

"Good morning, Ms—" He started.

"I don't have a surname. Just call me Star." I said.

Actually, I have. My real name is not Star. It used to be Angel. Can you imagine how icky that would be, a Me-Gladiator called Angel, wearing Gothic black punk leather pants? Worse still, my surname is snow. Angel Snow. Yeah, right. Or imagine Star Snow. NO WAY!

"Ok, um, Star. There is a sudden revival of spirits here. Like, maybe the spirits all escaped from Underworld and wants to wreck havoc here?"

"That's impossible. Terminators are concierges there. They would stop any ghosts leaking out."

"I know. But, Alas, someone has been spreading rumours that the Mayor is not paying the Terminators. So they're on 'strike', letting spirits out if they bribe them."

"That's horrible! Captain Timothy, anything like that happened?" I cried, turning to Timothy.

The burly "man" nodded. "I told my men not to believe them. I don't know about the others."

Contrary to popular beliefs (does anyone even believe in terminators? Ok, the citizens of Underworld's beliefs), Terminator-ing is actually a job. You get money from it. During the holidays (etc. Halloween), you can go on a shopping spree and buy lots of tough-

looking leather pants to look tough.

"Look, ask your men to spread the news that the rumours are false. We need to find the 'lost souls' first. Can you mediators tell me where the ghosts are? I'll whiz there and find them."

Now, besides our wits, Me-Gladiators have other powers. Like teleportation, or we call me "whizzing". Otherwise how do you think they go all over the world, taking a thousand souls each day? By airplane?

Unbeknownst to Susannah, she has a power too. Reading people's minds (like that creep Paul Slater) and going back in time (creep Slater again). Also, they have a weak telekinesis.

And Terminators are invincible. They cannot die (duh! They're living in Underworld!), I mean, people can't hurt them. They're just gruff uncles, looks fierce but is actually quite friendly.

"Oh. Well, I think I saw some in the graveyard, but I'm not sure." Susannah said doubtfully.

"I think they're in the shopping malls. Gorging themselves. Or wrecking havoc in cities.

Very funny. Ghosts in the underworld don't need to shop—they just morph. They just slip out of their skin, kinda like cockroaches. They can change faces and all. Not their branding, never.

Me-Gladiators can shape-shift. Not a lot. Just hair-colour, hair length, height, weight, size, eye colour, skin-colour… that sort of thing. No full body morphing.

"Oh, well. Me and Timothy will check out the graveyards first. Then we'll whizz back here and tell you what we found."

"You mean, materialize?" Slater asked slyly.

You toot! There's different names for that! Ghosts materialise, Me-Gladiators whizz, Charmed Ones orb, Devils teleport, Mediums astral-project... It all means the same. Moving from place to place.

I turned to Jesse. "Jesse, would you mind doing me a favour? Kill him for me? I'd like to bring him back home."

Jesse grinned. and Paul paled. Father Dominic looked shocked. I smiled. "Just kidding. It's not like Me-Gladiators are dead boring."

Paul was muttering. "What the hell! I didn't know Me-Glafiators are sarcastic bitches!

I whizzed around and appeared, knife on his neck. "Say that again, Slater, and you'll wish you're never born, you homo-of-a-Mediator."