TITLE: Jewel Thieves

PAIRING: Pastrid

CHARACTERS: Astrid Farnsworth, Peter Bishop,

GENRE: Humour

RATING: M for language

SUMMARY: Freshly out of a one month stint in prison, Peter and Astrid decide to go in for the ultimate con of robbing an entire jewelry exhibit in a museum; the whole gang is invited to take in on the cut—they just have to watch out for Big Eddie and his gang!

WARNINGS: AU

SPOILERS: None

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

DISCLAIMER: none

Astrid was the nicest looking woman out here this morning, leaning against the grill of her brand new black Escalade in four-inch heels. She was wearing her black glossy leggings and a lime green satin parka to brave the frigid December weather. She had on her favourite pair of 24k gold doorknockers—the ones that had her name on them—and a pair of oversized sunglasses. One of the other girls waiting by her car—a beat up, ugly ass Thunderbird—muttered something about Astrid looking like "shiny ghetto trash" and she grinned. Astrid liked shiny things.

The gate to the prison opened up and ten men came walking out, some carrying bags, some carrying nothing, all looking drained. Peter was one of the men carrying bags. She waved her hand slightly and she didn't miss that he stood up a little straighter when he spotted her. As he approached her, she stood up from the car and smugly said,

"Well, well, well, well."

He held up his hands and gave her a knowing look. "I know—I'm late."

Astrid cleared her throat and played with her bobbed curls pointedly, raising her eyebrows over the top of her glasses.

Peter knew his place and touched the curls slightly, too. "Oh, uh, your hair looks nice."

She nodded, pleased he had acknowledged her new haircut and unlocked the Escalade for him so that he could put his bag in the backseat. As he tossed it in and climbed into the front seat, he asked,

"Is there somewhere nearby we can go pick up a pack of cigarettes?"

Astrid made a face as she got into the driver's seat, turning the large SUV on so that heater could warm them and they could get the hell out of there.

"Ugh, you're not smoking in here," she chided and he frowned at her.

"Not for me—as a peace offering to Calzone."

She shrugged and turned up the Christmas music she'd been listening to on the way over. "Calzone's dead, baby."

"What?" Peter choked.

She nodded as she pulled out of the parking lot and merged into traffic. "Yeah, that bitch Eddie's with pushed him off the top of a parking complex the night you got locked up."

"Why would she do that?"

"She thought he was holding out on her. Thought he was the one with the jewels."

At this, Peter relaxes noticeably. "Bet that made her feel stupid."

"Sure did." She affectionately rubbed his leg. "So, need anything else before we get back to the house?"

"Not really." He glanced at a restaurant they were passing. "Maybe some KFC."

She gave her beau a horrified look. "Peter, they torture those chickens."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, let's get some Taco Bell."

"America's leading purchaser of beef anus," she commented disdainfully.

"Shit, woman! Can't you let me eat in peace? I've had to eat Suffolk County Corrections' finest for a month and all I want is some damn oil and grease," he snapped.

She smiled at him, knowing there was no possible way he could stay annoyed with her. "I missed you, you know."

His look softened. "I missed you, too." He touched her leg lightly before asking, "Hey, how's Liv?"

"She's okay. Still toying with John, though."

He nodded. "And Chuck?"

"Charlie's pretty cool, too—oh! He and Sonia are expecting!" she said excitedly, her mind suddenly reeling with thoughts of children.

"That's great! Boy or girl?"

"Too early to tell, I think." As they passed a cop car, her thoughts sobered. "Big Eddie still has a price on your head, baby."

"Figures," he grumbled as they pulled up into a Taco Bell drive through.

Astrid leaned out the window of the Escalada and requested, "Grilled stuffed burrito, extra hot sauce, extra cheese, three tostadas, uh…two hard tacos, two extra large iced teas and a medium Pepsi."

"Ten dollars even," the cashier replied.

Peter took Astrid's hand and kissed it. "I missed you."