This is what happens when I get bored in class and think too much. There will be more coming later, I just had to get these out of my class notebooks before I hand them in. I don't think my teachers would be too pleased...
Itey Sartorelli had big dreams. One of which was to marry a pretty girl and have seven sons. (He'd name them after his six uncles on his mother's side, and the oldest after himself.) After securing a substantial amount of money for his family, he would retire with Beautiful Wife to his father's childhood home in Florence. There, he would finish his life with all the wine and pasta you could ever want.
"Wait...so where would you get all that money?" Snitch asked him over lunch.
Itey pilfered a pickle from Jake's plate and threw it in his mouth before he could be stopped. "I donno," he replied. "I'll probably save some tightwad's baby from a fire or rob a bank. I guess I'll find out when I get that far."
Itey's friends all nodded in understanding, save Jake, who was trying to figure out what to take from Itey's plate to get even. "Don't worry about it, though," Itey continued. "I'll send you all copies of my automobography when I write it."
"You mean your autobiography?" Jake asked with a laugh, settling on a bite of Itey's ham sandwich.
Itey nodded. "That's what I said—my automobography."