I call this a "Dark love tale" more mature, not nessisarily for adult content, but just for the fact that the relashionships are so complex. I hope it's not too out there, read and review please? Danke!
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Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye. Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you'll try---Charles Hart
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Deep in the dark lands of Schwarzwaard, a group of four heros were traveling. A strange group they made. One a mysterious young knight who barley knew anything of himself, much less what his fate contained. Yet somehow he was still driven by some unseen force. Perhaps just to fight his fate or destiny as some call it. Then there was a master warlock. Capable, calm, she wielded extraordinary powers. Even though she may have been something more than human at one time, she still had her weaknesses. Next was the cleric. Young, perhaps slightly innocent, she was going wherever the road would take her, so long as she could be near the knight. Then came the assassin. Distant, detached, as much of an enigma as the warlock or knight. This assassin went by the name of Loki.
The assassin used his sharp, green eyes to scan the area, ever alert for danger. He stopped momentarily on the warlock. She had stopped briefly to adjust one of her shoes. She was leaning against a tree with one hand, the other busied in the task of making her footwear more comfortable. He didn't understand why she insisted upon wearing high heeled shoes. They looked uncomfortable as well as unstable. She put her foot down and stood up, swaying a little as she regained her balance. She paused and slowly turned her head to look at him, almost in a curious manner. The assassin realized he was still staring and shifted his gaze away from her.
He wondered if he repulsed her. She had been rather distant, but then, perhaps it was merely Loki's unwillingness to approach her. The only time the gorge between them was bridged, was shortly before they started traipsing about Scharzwaard. She had walked up to him, touched his hand lightly and thanked him for saving her life on the airship.
The uninvited, unexpected touch had startled him a little, but not in the way that Chaos' or Lidia's ever had. Fenris at least had a sense of decency. Still, he had felt his skin tingle, yet it was not unpleasant. On the contrary, it was a pleasant feel that steeped throughout his bloodstream and attacked his core. Sometimes he would wonder what might happen if he were to take her hand and hold it, to feel the weight and warmth of her hand against his cold skin...
"Hey Loki! I think we should look over at that fort over there! It might be a good place to spend the night!"
Loki was brought back to Midgard, or Schwarzwaard as the case was, as Chaos hailed him. The assassin nodded and strode purposefully over to the knight, his path straying just a little to pass closely behind Fenris. The two men split up and circled their way around the fort. It was a tall, desolate, building. Made not of stone or wood, but some sort of clay or ceramic that had faded to a greyish orange through time's abuse. The building was cunningly designed with smooth outer walls, that even one of the guild's most accomplished assassins would find near impossible to scale. Loki was also impressed by the gardens, though there were weeds and underbrush that were not original, much of the garden seemed as though it were still cared for. The waterfall and stream that ran through it was man-made, yet clear and free of algae. Another achievement. It was impossible to say what lay within the fortress as the only visible door was tightly sealed. The fortress, the gardens, and according to Chaos, the mausoleum were the only thing left of whatever civilization had erected it. Nothing more remained, gone and come without leaving their mark on history, or perhaps they had faded like the walls of their stronghold.
They set up camp in front of the massive door, which also happened to be a spot that was furthest from the mausoleum. Iris was off gathering more firewood and Chaos insisted that he would do the hunting, leaving Fenris and Loki alone to prepare everything. Loki felt something odd churn within his stomach. He wanted to ignore it, but his unease only increased. They quietly moved about the campsite, getting out cooking gear, searching for a piece of flint, and the like. Fenris broke the silence abruptly,
"Could you hand me that bowl Loki?" He passed it to her without a word. By chance their fingertips met, again Loki felt that strange tingling. Fenris's eyes were transfixed upon the bowl and their fingers. He was both pleased and surprised when she made no effort to move away. He felt warmth curl within his cheeks, he wondered if he was flushing visibly. He silently arranged his hands so that they rested over hers. It was the warlock's turn to turn red, she drew in a slight breath and looked up at him. He felt as though her gaze pierced right through his dark soul.
Just as his head was being pulled inexorably forward, a sudden clatter surprised the two of them. They jumped apart, Fenris dropping the bowl. Iris wiped her brow and sighed and addressed them in annoyance,
"You know, you guys get the easy job, you could at least do it instead of just standing there like statues or something." Iris turned around and went back into the forest for more wood. They blinked, both a little stunned. Fenris finally shook her head,
"Iris is right, we should get started." Loki didn't say anything, he set to work arranging a fire ring.
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Somehow the two of them found it easier to talk, not that Loki did much talking. Instead he listened to Fenris, occasionally making an interjection. Fenris prodded the fire with a stick as she sighed,
"I hope Chaos brings back some bird. It's been ages since I've had any fowl." Loki tilted his head inquisitively,
"You like bird?" She smiled a little, brushing some hair behind her ear,
"I love it. It's a weakness." She stared at the fire, lapsing into silence for the moment. At the same time Loki was mulling over what it was she had said, "Love..?" Followed immediately by, "It's a weakness." He never remembered being formally taught it, but it seemed to be an unwritten rule of the guild. "Love is a weakness." He sat frowning at the fire. He was so deep in thought that he wouldn't have eaten his dinner if Fenris hadn't noticed he wasn't
By the time dinner ended Loki had made up his mind. Even if love was a weakness; he would gain nothing by hiding it from her. He looked around the camp watching the others. Chaos and Iris were looking up at the stars, arguing over constellations that existed only for them. Fenris had given up trying to explain the actual layout of Schwarzwaard's sky long ago, leaving Iris and Chaos to their bickering. She was now watching them, as Loki was, though he imagined his face did not have such pain etched on it. He stood up, Perhaps I can give her some ease. He walked over to her quietly,
"Fenris, a word?" She looked up a bit surprised. She looked at him as though he were some strange intangible object, but then she snapped out of her slight trance and answered,
"Oh! Sorry, my mind was elsewhere...yes you can talk to me." She paused, then queried, "Is there something wrong?" Loki looked around,
"No, I have something I want you to look at. Would you be willing to come with me?" Fenris nodded and stood up,
"Certainly, lead the way Loki." He nodded and walked towards a narrow brick path and started down towards the gardens, filled with a sudden anxiety.
Loki's anxiety perturbed him. A confusing whirlwind of thoughts gushed within his troubled mind, Is this what people call 'doubt?' Why am I questioning myself now that I have decided what to do? Is this what it means to be human? This feeling.. is different, it is new. I have never felt...doubt before. He stopped on the bridge looking out over the stream his eyes flicked breifly towards Fenris, But then, all these other feelings are new as well. He took in a deep breath to calm himself. He kept his face perfectly emotionless as he spoke,
"These gardens are remarkabley well kept, do you think it is possible that someone still dwells here?" Fenris tilted her head,
"I can sense spells here, ancient spells. So old that I'm afraid they're dying, and with them, so will the garden.." Loki nodded understanding,
"I see." A pause, "I suppose you are wondering why you are here, are you not Fenris?" She nodded a little,
"Yes I am, what's on your mind Loki?" His word spilled out before he could check himself,
"You." He kept his face frozen in an unfathomable countenance, but inside he was seething at himself. Fenris looked slightly shaken. She spoke with a slight tremor in her voice,
"M-me? I..I'm afraid I don't quite understand you Loki..." The assasin tried to compose his thoughts. For a moment, there was nothing between them, but the sound of the waterfall behind the two. Finally he stirred and turned to face her. His face still immoble, but there seemed to be something behind desperatley trying to melt the ice and break free. The moonlight hit her hair just right, her eyes had a soft luminescence to them, her face was traced by the ever-moving lines of light reflected by the water. She was beautiful. His words were soft, scarcely louder than the cascade of water behind them,
"I love you." Shock was rampant on her face, her eyes were wide, her mouth opened in disbelief. She seemed to be struggling to find her voice. Finally she thinly whispered,
"Why...? How..how long?" He approached her cautiously, shortening the distance between them, till they were about two feet apart.
"I do not know. You facinated me ever since we met, that day in Prontera...Fenris." He closed his eyes repeating the phrase, filing each syllyble with pent up feelings, "I love you." And then something unexpected happened.
The warlock was silent, then broke down into bitter sobs, she crippled to her knees, crying uncontrollably. Alarmed Loki quickly knelt down in front of her, he lightly placed a hand on her shoulder. His mask was completley gone now, and strands of concern and fear cloaked his face instead. "Fenris!? What is the matter?" The warlock bit her knuckle in an attempt to quail some of her initial reaction. Words wrenched out of her mouth in between painful gasps,
"I-I didn't.. didn't know! And yet.. somehoe.. I-I did! And and..I want your love but.. Loki I .. you I know I.. no you don't know, but I-I .. I really do.. want.. to..to love you but I.. I can't" She threw herself against his shoulder, her body shaking as she felt her world come ripping apart. Tenativley at first, he put his arms about her, and when she tightened her grip, he did the same, stroking her hair lighty. Her murmurred quietly in her ear,
"Shhhhh... It is all right Fenris.. It will be fine..I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.." Fenris was constantly murmurring apologies in an endless stream, though Loki could barley make out what she was saying. After she had calmed down a little, she sat up and took in a shuddering breath. She was still crying a little. Loki gently asked the warlock,
"Is it a burden that I love you?"
"I-I truly am sorry Loki.. you don't know how sorry... I want your love, and I want to return it but..." Despite herself, she looked over back in the direction of their campsite. Loki finished her sentence for her his voice hollow,
"You want Chaos." Fenris bit her lip her voice laced with regret,
"Not exactly, I mean, I.. I've been searching for him for so long, Balder I mean, and well...Chaos has Iris, but as long as there's still a chance.. no matter how slight that he may regain his former identity..He and I could.." Loki nodded,
"I see. I understand." Fenris dabbed at her eyes,
"Then .. you're not mad at me?" Loki shook his head,
"I have no right to be, I am sorry for causing you such pain Fenris, forgive me." Fenris wiped at her face as she answered,
"It's allright.. I mean.. at least.. we are being honest with each other, aren't we? That's something." Loki stood up,
"Fenris.. if it is any consolation to you, I.. shall withdraw my love...for now....and I promise to do whatever I can in my power to help you restore Balder to his former self." It pained him to say those words, but he felt he deserved it, after what he had just brought down on her. Fenris looked up at him, amazed,
"You would..do that for me? You'd help me?" He nodded tersely.
"It is all I can do. All I ask then, is that you think of me." Fenris lowered her head in a gesture of consent,
"I can do that." Loki walked past her announcing,
"I shall leave you now Fenris. Good night." Fenris turned her head around to watch him go,
"Good night..oh and Loki?" He stopped and turned,
"Yes Fenris?"
"Thank you." the man nodded once and turned away, leaving the warlock alone.
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End chapter!
Waaaaaaaaoh the angst the angst!