A/N: Hey friends. I know we're all writing about this and Buttercup and things, but I had feels too. It was very personal for me, and I'm finding a lot of myself in this - so, naturally I wrote it and now I'm publishing it for strangers. Anyway, hope it's a nice read. Reviews and comments are always appreciated.
Elizabeth swiped tears from her face as she stormed down the footpath, her boots crunching loudly on the loose gravel. She wasn't angry so much as frustrated. Henry hadn't meant to upset her, but why couldn't he see how important this was to her? She was just as frightened as him. She grabbed the rake with too much force and began shoving rhodes hay and manure with a strange aggression. She huffed and heaved, trying to expel the feeling from her body physically. She thought if she could just work her body hard enough, she'd be able to calm down and maybe understand where Henry was coming from and have a sensible discussion with him.
Something caught her eye, and as she glanced out from the stable she saw Buttercup approaching the fence in the paddock across the path. His ears pricked forward as he watched her curiously, likely investigating the noise. Elizabeth laughed and huffed. "You just want to be fed." She smiled and shook her head.
Dropping the rake unceremoniously, she brushed her hands on her pants and made a move towards the gelding. He watched her intently as she neared. Her posture was slumped and her steps loud and uncaring. Buttercup eyed her cautiously as she trudged towards him. Flicking a single ear back, he turned on his heels and strode away when she neared the fence. She sighed and climbed onto the paling, heaving herself over it and into the paddock.
Buttercup took a few more steps as she looked on. He turned to look back at her, not ten metres and gave her an inquisitive glance. He stopped suddenly, dropping his head and began to graze. He still had his ear and eye on her.
She huffed loudly again, defeated, and sank to sit on the grass, leaning against the fence. The horse won't even talk to me. Elizabeth watched him pick at the lush greenery. There was something very soothing about watching a horse eat, completely at ease. He'd read her before she could even read herself, or course he had. Horses were very in touch with emotions, she knew that. It was one of the many reasons she loved them. He'd reflected her perfectly when she was light and joyful, and now, he reflected her again, putting distance between them. One look at her body language was all Buttercup needed, though he wasn't brushing her off, he was simply matching her. When she was insecure, he was insecure. They have a funny way of showing you yourself.
Elizabeth breathed deeply, inhaling the distinctly familiar and comforting scent. Her children maintained that it was simply manure and that she was crazy, but she remained unfazed. She watched the horse now, his ears twitching and following her when she shifted or moved her arm to swipe the hair falling over her face.
She thought about the fight she'd had with Henry. Realistically, he was trying to protect her and their family, but she couldn't stop hearing their argument over and over. Now that she'd remembered it, it was barely an argument, but tensions flew high and she was scared. It had been four hours since the President of the United States had dropped in to inform her of his choice for Vincent Marshs' successor. He'd even said to her that he wouldn't take no for an answer. She knew that Conrad wouldn't force her to take the job, that he was just applying the necessary pressure, but she couldn't disappoint him again. There was clearly a reason he'd wanted her to take the position, and he was not a man to take such decisions lightly. She'd felt her blood run cold in fear, quickly followed by disbelief and confusion. Conrad had so kindly given her the remainder of the day.
Henry hadn't been privy to the conversation, he waited patiently, knowing Elizabeth would talk to him. When she finally talked to him about it, his reaction was very similar to her own. What, how, why? Henry certainly wasn't holding Elizabeth's career back, he would never do that, but he simply could not understand. His words swirled around her mind, taunting her.
"We can't do this to them again. We've only just settled down!" He'd immediately voiced the ramifications for their children, as she had in her own mind.
"This is exactly like Baghdad." Only it wasn't, and he knew it. He'd regretted his thoughtless comment immediately, but she'd already stormed off.
Rationally, she knew that he hadn't intended it in that way, but his words stung and she felt insecure. She couldn't do it without Henry's support; She didn't want to. Obviously her children were a significant factor. She was conflicted. She couldn't risk it, this was her life now. Elizabeth knew what she had to do.
She looked up to see Buttercup making his way towards her. He stopped about a meter away and lowered his head, giving her foot a nudge with his nose, trying to gain her attention. "Oh now you want me." He continued to munch a patch around where she sat, slowly inching himself closer without making it too obvious. She'd reached her resolve, and she laughed now at how Buttercup wanted her attention. He made his move, sniffing the top of her head, mussing her hair and tickling her with his warm breaths. She giggled and shied away from the prying nose.
Elizabeth was unaware that Henry had come looking for her. He stood back and watched from his position, leaning against the stable. He smiled as he watched her interact with Buttercup. A woman and her horse. So light and carefree in that moment, yet so intimate and beautiful. He didn't want to spoil it. Henry waited a few minutes before approaching her. Buttercup gave him away pulling his head up to look at Henry, giving him a soft nicker.
"Hey." He smiled sheepishly. She smiled back, and that was his invitation. Henry swiftly cleared the fence and sank to the grass beside her.
"Listen… About before I—"
She shook her head, stopping him. "Henry. I've made up my mind, I know what I have to do."
"No. You will not pass up this opportunity because of my insecurity."
"It's not just about you and I. You said it yourself! We have to think of the kids." Her voice shook a little. She wasn't sure what it was about anymore.
"The kids will adjust."
She looked into his eyes, wanting to deny it, but if she was being honest, she didn't want to. She wanted this job. She waited for him to continue, the worry and guilt clearly crossing her features.
Henry's voice was steady and calm, unlike hers, "You will not get this opportunity again. You can't pass it up, it's too important. I know you, and I know how good you could be at this. This is providing for our children; for the world they and their children will live in. And for us."
She was quiet for a moment. "You really think so?" She whispered. "This job is not more important than our family…"
"We can do it. Whatever happens, we're together."
She smiled genuinely at him now. "Thank you. God I love you."
"You're growing on me." He chided, giving her a cheeky grin.
He leaned in and kissed her slowly and gently. Elizabeth's mood was definitely elevated now, and she moved her hands boldly over his chest, deepening their kiss. They jumped apart with a squeak when a third, large hairy nose joined in, forcing their faces apart. They broke into a hearty laughter and Elizabeth moved to rub Buttercup's forehead.
"Someone's jealous!" She laughed. Henry wrapped his arms around her.
"I think we're going to be okay." He smiled down at her as she leaned against him.
They sat for a while, in the grass, watching the trees move in the breeze and the horses graze. It was all about to change.
