*I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.*

Chapter 1

Kim. Kim. Kimberly!" I feel something hard punch my arm.

"Ow." I turn around and see my best friend Samantha staring at me. "What the hell Sammy?" I say rubbing my arm.

"You were staring again." She points toward the god Jared Cameron.

You see I've had a crush on Jared Cameron ever since we were in the third grade. Pathetic right? But you know what the worst part is. He doesn't even know that I existent; even through we've had the same home room ever since middle school and I've been sitting right next to him in history class all year. All I do is follow him around like a little lost puppy and stare at him when he isn't looking. It's really sad, but I can't help it.

I'm decent looking enough. I have long black hair that falls in natural waves down my back, my native skin is smooth and flawless, I have light brown eyes that I think are too small for my face, but other seem to think otherwise.

I'm also not very popular here at school. I mostly get pushing around and made fun of, but I try not to let it get me.

"I was not staring. I was admiring." I say shutting my locker and turning to look at her.

She raises an eyebrow at me, "Sure you were. Whatever you tell yourself to get through day. You didn't even hear a word of what I was saying."

"Sure I did." I say lying.

"Okay what was I saying?" she says taking a textbook out of her locker.

"Um…" I rack my brain for something. "You were saying that you had a lot of homework last night?" I say sheepishly.

"OMG. Yeah you really were listening." She says smiling

Wow it must be my lucky day, I think. "Really?"

Her smile turns into a frown, "No. You bitch."

While she finishes up with her locker, I take a look back at Jared. He is standing laughing with a couple of his friends. His beautiful straight white teeth on display. He gives a friendly punch to one of his friends. I imagine his strong arms wrap around my waist as he leans in to kiss me. My girlie area starts throbbing as I think about all the naughty things I want to do to him. He's so hot.

"KIM!" Sammy yells again bringing me out of my thoughts. "That's it I give up!" she slams her locker shut and walks off.

I take one last look at Jared and sigh before following after her.

"So what I was saying was that I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow?" she says as we walk into our first period class.

"Samantha, I don't know. You know how I don't like crowds every much." I say.

"Oh come on Kimmy, stop being a loner and come out. You never go out and have fun." Oh Samantha always the fun, party one. I guess that's why everyone loves her.

"Okay fine. I'll go." I tell her.

She sequels and reaches over to hug me just as the Mr. Tran walks in.

As soon as the bell rings, I say my goodbyes to Samantha and practically run to my favorite class: history. Well actually it's not my favorite class. I think I'm actually failing that class or at least very close to it. The only reason why I like this class is because… yep you guessed it. Jared is in this class.

I smiled at the teacher and take my seat. I watched as people started to fill in; it's sad that I don't have this class with Samantha, so I don't have anyone to talk to. There was only one minute until the bell rings when Jared comes in with some of his friends.

He continues talking to them as he takes his seat right next to mine. He turns and starts talking to this guy behind him. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he laughs and makes jokes with the guy. He is absolutely breath-taking beautiful.

The bell rings and the teacher ask for silence as she begins her lesson. The class drags on and on and on. I have no idea what the lesson was about because I can think about is Jared. Jared, Jared, Jared.

When kids start to pack up and leave, I know that it's time to move on to the next class. Jared gathers his things and slides out of the classroom.

The rest of the day passed in a blur and I don't see Jared again until lunch rolls around. He sits with the 'popular' kids at lunch. Once again I'm stuck watching from the sidelines as the school slut, Madison Reed, climbs on top of him and straddles his waist. I sigh as they sucking each other's face. I watch as her breasts press into his chest and her hand slides down to grab his crotch.

"Kim you gotta do something about this crush." Samantha says taking a bite of her apple. "You should tell him how you feel."

"What?! I can't do that. Do you know what he would say to me? He'll probably just laugh in my face." I say hopelessly.

"Fine, but you're the one who is always staring after him like a little lost puppy. Anyway, on to the next subject. I was thinking that we could go to that new restaurant they open in Forks, Mickey's."

I nod my head agreeing with her. All too soon the bell rings singling the end of lunch.

It's raining (surprise, surprise) when school ends. I quickly run to my Ranger Rover sport and wait for Samantha to come.

Oh yeah, you see my parents have money. Most people would say that we're rich, but I like to think of it as being well off. Since my dad was an only child he inherited all of my grandpa's fortune; which was a lot. Like a lot a lot. He is also the CEO of some big company that is stationed in Seattle.

My parents don't really talk about me too much to their friends. I could never figure out if they do that for my own good or because they're embarrassed of me.

I don't really see my parents very often. Their always traveling the world or in Seattle. They come see me once maybe twice a month, but the rest of the time I'm here living in La Push with my nanny Margret. I watch the other kids as they run to the buses and their cars. Sometimes I hate driving this car. I mean everyone else on the reservation has these old, shitty cars; and then here I come with a very nice, expensive car.

I see my whole reason for living coming out of the school doors. I sigh and watch him pull up his hood and run to his old, faded blue pick-up truck. My eyes follow his every move right up until he pulls out of the student lot and turns onto the main road

There's a knock on the passage side. I turn and unlock the door for Samantha.

"It's raining cats and dogs outside." She says ringing out her hair.

"Well it is La Push. When is it not raining like this?" I start-up the car and pull out.

I listen to Samantha talk about how much of a bitch Alicia Sanders is. I nod my head occasionally and throw in the 'oh really' and 'yeah, you're totally right'.

We pull up to her small gray house.

"So don't forget about going to Mickey's tonight okay." She says before she gets out.

"I would never." I smile and wave at her. I wait until I see in before heading off toward home.

I live on the 'rich' side of the res. I guess you could say. The houses here are bigger and newer. However, my house is by far the biggest house on the reservation; with having four stories. Once again rich-ass parents. I pull into the garage, which houses two other very nice cars; one of them is not there, so I know that Margret is not home.

I stop by the refrigerator and grab a bottle of water. My boots echo as I walk through the empty the house. I take the main stair case and head up to my room. The bedrooms in the house are built like suites. When you first walk into my room; it's like a small living room. There is a couch, two recliners, a flat screen that hangs on the wall, and my desk. There are three doors in my room; one leads to the bathroom, another to my huge walk in closet (what I like clothes and shoes), and the third leads to where my bed is.

Margret wouldn't let me paint the walls black, so I had to settle for a pale blue color. I sit my back pack on one of the recliners and I go over to my desk and open my laptop. I login into Facebook, and go to Jared's page. I know, I know this is weird, but I can't help it.

I hear the garage open. I click out of his page and open a fresh document to start on my history paper.

"Hey sweetie." Margret stands in the door way.

I smile and say my hello, turning my attention back to my paper.

I hear her walk away and I open the page back up to Jared's profile. God I love him so much. This crush can't be healthy.

I work on my paper for a little while before I head down stairs. I take the stairs that led directly to the kitchen. Margret is leaning over one the counter looking at a home improvement catalog.

"So how was school?" She says not taking her eyes off the magazine.

"Fine. Same old same old." I say.

Margret is the nicest person that I've ever had the pleasure if knowing. She's been in my life since I was baby. I love her more than my mother; now that's saying something.

"Samantha asked me to go with her to that new restaurant that opened in Forks tonight. Would it be alright if I go?" I ask picking at my arm warmers.

"Yeah of course you can sweetheart. Besides I think that you need to get out of the house more anyway. What time are you guys heading out?"

"At 8:00." I say

"Okey dokey then. Just let me know when you leave" She says putting the magazine away.

I nod my head. "I'll be in the music room."

I love the music room. It is by far my favorite room in the house, and trust me we have a lot rooms in this house. I walk over to my midnight black gibbon's guitar.

I love playing the guitar; it calms me and takes me to another place that isn't here. The music room is sound proof, so I can play as loud as I'd like and won't have to worry about disturbing people. I start working on the solo that I've been writing. It's sounding really good if I do say so myself.

I get so lost in the music that before I know it's… Shit. It's 8:00.

I don't know what part of the house Margret in, so I push the income button on the wall. "Margret!" I hear my voice echo through the house. "I'm leaving." I wait a few seconds before I hear replay.

"Okay." Is all I get back.

I grab my shoulder bag, stuff a few bills in it, and head to the garage.

"What took you so long?" Samantha ask when I arrive at the restaurant.

"Sorry I got caught up in my music that I didn't realize what time it was." I say as we walk in.

"Oh are you writing a new song?"

I nod.

"I can't wait to hear it."

"Table for two." Samantha says when we get to the front counter.

"Right this way." The host says.

He leads us to a booth and sits down our menus. "Your waiter will be right with you.

We look over our menus. It's always so hard to eat out at restaurants because I'm vegetarian and most of the items at restaurants have some kind of meat in them.

"Hi. My name is Jade and I will be your waiter tonight. Can I start you off with some drinks?" An overly perky voice says.

"Um yeah. I would like some lemonade please." Samantha says.

She writes down the order and looks at me.

"Just some a glass of water." I say softy.

She nods and walks away to get our drinks.

"So what are you having?" Samantha ask leaning over the table.

"I don't know, but like I have much of an option."

Our waiter, Jade, comes back with our drinks. "So have you ladies decided on what you want to order?"

"Yes I'll have the Chicken Parmesan with extra cheese." Samantha says

"And I will have the Pasta salad."

"Okay I will get these dishes right out to you. Let me get these menus out of your way." She takes our menus and leaves.

Samantha takes a slip of lemonade before she suddenly freezes.

"What?" I ask.

"Guess who just walked in?" she says.

I don't even have to turn around to know who it is, but I do anyway. There Jared is standing in all his sexiness. He is not alone of course. He's with a group of his friends and that bitch Madison is hanging on his arm. Man I hate her.

They make their way over to where we are sitting. Their table is right across from us. I look down and hope that they don't notice us.

"I'm going to go the bathroom real quick." Samantha says getting up.

I give her a 'please don't leave me' look. "Oh come on Kim. You'll be fine.

I pull my out phone and start surfing the web looking for anything. I had just logged in on the Facebook when I hear a very high-pitched very nasally voice.

"EWW. Look guys it's that weird freak." Says Madison.

They all start laughing. "She's so ugly no wonder no one likes her. I mean look at what she's wearing."

"Ha-ha yeah she's a disgrace to human beings." Someone says.

My face burns with embarrassment but I don't look up from my phone. I thought I would be okay that was until I heard Jared join in on the 'fun'.

"I just wish that she would stop looking at me and following me around all day." He raises his voice. "It's pathetic really and a little frightening. She's knows that I would never go out with her."

I look right at him when he says his next words. "What a loser."

I can feel the tears welling up at the corner of my eyes. My throat starts to strings. I will not cry; not in front of all these people. I don't even wait for Samantha to get back from the bathroom. I grab my bag and leave the restaurant. I can hear their laugher as I walk out of the building.

"Kim! Hey Kim wait up." I hear Samantha call behind me.

I'm at my car now. I wipe away my tears and turn to face her.

"What happen? I came back and you were gone." She says.

"Those assholes in there. That's what happen." The tears have now found their way back and are running down my face.

"Jared said. He said that I was. I was pathetic and, and that he would never go out with me. He called me a loser." I wipe at my tears but new ones keep forming.

"Oh Kimmy." She pulls me into a hug. "Calm down its okay. You don't need him. You don't need him. He's just a dick. And Madison, well she's a bitchy slut."

After a few minutes I calm down enough to drive home. I'm not even hungry any more.

When I get home I find Margret in the theater room watching one of those reality TV shows.

"Hey sweetie you home already? I wasn't expecting you to be home this early." She says

I just shrug my shoulders.

"You okay? Did something happen at the restaurant?" she stands up.

'No I'm fine. Just tired. I'm gonna head up to bed." I make my way to the stairs.

"Alright. Good night." She calls.

I strip out of my clothes and slip into the shower. I let the hot water run over me. I pick up my razor blade and press it into my skin. I watch as the red liquid runs down my arm and down the drain.

Once I'm clean and my cut has been covered I hop and the bed.

I'm going to get over him, I think before drifting to sleep.

Tell me what you guys think. Review. Sorry for any grammar mistakes you may find. I did my best to try to catch them all. Also, please no rude or mean comments. Thank you.