Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
I looked up at the sky, the pain that wrenched my heart was almost to much to bare, sitting on the balcony of my north carolina home was the most peaceful place ive ever been, staring up at the stars, hearing the crickets and watching the wind blow the tree's there was nothing like it, i felt a small salty tear fall my eye and run down me cheek, as i remebered the best night of my life,
Flashback
I turned my head and saw the love of my life Jeff Hardy lying asleep next to me he moved slighty towards me as he kissed my head softly
"Baby why are you still awake?"he asked pulling me closer as i nuzzeld my head in his chest
"i like watching you sleep, you look so...peaceful" i admired as i started kissing his chest, slowly making my way up to his neck, i used my tounge as i started suductivly sucking on his neck
"Babe stop we gotta go to sleep or well never make it through raw tomorrow night" he said but at the same time not making any effort to move
"aww but jeffy i love you, i just wanna be close to you"
"you are close to me" he countered
"i wana be closer if you know what i mean" i winked at him he then pulled on top of him and we kissed passionatly as i started back on his neck,
"screw Raw ill sleep it off later" He laughed pulling me back to his lips, he then stopped suddenly and pulled me back to where i was originally lying down
"whats wrong? did i do something?" i asked concerned
"No no i just i need to talk to you about something" he said as he grabbed my hands in his
"what?...is everything ok?" i asked eyeing him suspeciously
" you are my world Trish, you are my everything, i couldnt live without you by my side and i refuse to i love you so much i cant even descibe it and i want you to Mrs Jeffrey Nero Hardy" as soon as he finished his sentence i jumped back ontop of him and started kissing him
"I would love to be your wife baby" i smiled as he pulled out a ring from the bedside table and slipped it on my finger this was who i was going to spend the rest of my life with and i wanted nothing more,
End Flashback
my tears now flew freely down my face with no end in sight, he ment just as much to me as i ment to him, we were made for each other, and he will aloways be my one and only true love, the night that he left me all alone was the night that haunts my dreams, the night i will never be able to forget,
You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know
Flashback
i turned to look at the clock next to the hotel bed, 9:15pm 'what the hell where is he' i thought to myself as i got up from the bed, enough was enough i was going to the Arena to find out what the hell was wrong with him he siad he'd be back straight after his match and that was over an hour ago,
just as i opened the hotel door, i was suprised to see Matt's good friend Shane Helms standing in the hall staring at me,
"shane what are you doing here?" i asked eyeing him off
" you need to come with me please" i looked closley at his face and noticed the puffiness under his eyes
"No whats going on?" i asked concerned as he stepped closer to me
"its jeff his in hospital" he said calmly
"What?!" i screamed as he was about to open his mouth i cut him off
"is he ok? what happened?"
"He fell, he was going for the swantom and he just fell, they wont tell us anything you have to get down there ill drive ok" i just nodded in responce, i couldnt talk i was so shocked and scared to know how jeff was,
We finally arrived at the hospital i walked into the waiting room and saw Jeffs brother Matt, Matts girlfriend Amy, Jeffs best friend Shannon Moore, Shane's girlfriend Velvet Sky and Matt and Jeffs dad Gilbert,
I didnt even bother to greet them i just ran to the reception desk
"can i help you mam" the young receptionest asked polietly
"yes, im Jeff Hardy's wife i need to see him, i need to know if his ok" i said trying to hold back the tears that had formed in my eyes
"a doctor will be right with you"
"No see i dont have time to just wait for a doctor ok my husband is in there in god only knows how much pain and you no what his by himself and he needs me in there just as much as i need to see that his ok so you can either tell me where Jeff is or ill go in there and find him myself" i warned through gritted teeth as the tears started flowing
she didnt answer, she just sat there in a state of shock
"fine ill go find him myself" i said walking down the hall i looked through all the rooms until i finally found the beautifuly featured Jeff Hardy lying asleep in the hospital bed my heart began to break as i saw the brace around his neck,
i sat next to his bed and pulled his hand into mine the doctor rushed in until he saw me just holding jeffs hand whilst sitting on the chair, the doctor looked at me with sympathetic eyes as i just turned back to my husband, after a few minitues i felt my eyes start to close until i was finally ingulfed in dreams that consisted of me and jeff and our life together....
Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep
I woke up suddenly and saw doctors rushing over to jeff he looked so blue and lifeless,'No no no no" thats all that ran through my head i rushed over and grabbed Jeffs hand, i was shocked to feel how cold he was but i wouldnt let go, i couldnt,
"ma'm you have to levae let us do our jobs please" one of the nurses said trying to pull me out of the room
"NO IM NOT LEAVING HIM, HE CANT LEAVE ME NO LET ME GO!!" i screamed fighting back as the tears kept falling
the doctors and nurses tried to get me out as they strated performing CPR on him
"Ms you dont need to see this" the doctor tried to convince me
"NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THATS MY HUSBAND IM NOT LEAVING HIM I CANT PLEASE JEFF WAKE UP PLEASE JEFF WAKE UP!!!!" i screamed as i was pulling myself away from the doctors
soon enough shannon and shane came in and tried to pull me back
"No no no shannon please let me go h ecant leave me, he cant do this please jeff come back" i cried as i looked at the doctors
"call it" i heard the head doctor in the room say my eyes widend this isnt real this couldnt be happining
"12:43" The other doctor replied
"Oh no its not true his not dead he wouldnt leave me like this, Shannon please tell them" i cried looking up at him
"Im sorry i cant" he said looking down at me
"No no no no no no Let me go! Let me go! please i can bring him back, he'll come back to me, he will i know he will" i cried and cried without an end i was in denial when infact My husband the world that surronds me and the love of my life was dead.
End Flashback
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
The crying just wouldnt stop i couldnt make it stop, but at the same time how could i being inlove with Jeff, being his wife, thats all i knew how could i live without somebody i considered my world?
"baby what are you doing out here" i heard the voice of my knew boyfriend Shannon Moore i turned around to him trying to smile
"Trish are you still crying about Jeff?" he asked as he sat next to me and wrapped the blanket around the both of us
You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
"How cant i shan i loved him so much, how can i just move on without him i dont know how its fair" i sobbed looking back at the stars in the sky
"baby its not fair, ok its not, but you have to move on"
"why? why do i have to move on when somebody i commited to spend the rest of my life with isnt in this world anymore its not fair that i get to live life happily and he dosent get to live at all shannon" all i could do was sob and cry, my heart was breaking with every thought, with every word, with every breath, there was nothing i could do but sit in my own mental and spiritual torture,
"Trish listen to me ok Jeff died i know thats not fair and i know your hurting but you cant sit out here and cry every night, jeff would want you to be happy and move on wouldnt you want him to do the same if anything happened to you" he questioned as he wrapped his warm arms around me
"Ofcourse i would"
"well there you go im not telling you to forget jeff because i know how much you loved and love him all im saying is move on and make him proud that he married such a strong, beautiful, and intelligent woman" i couldnt help but smile he was so sweat and he was never going to be jeff but i knew shannon was the next best thing, and someone i could move on with,
and most of all...i knew jeff would be proud.
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...