Always

Ed POV

I storm in the house and hit the door so hard that the handle almost makes a hole in the wall. But I don't care, I don't care about anything in this house anymore!

It's your house, Roy! Or should I say General Mustang! Oh, how I can't stand this place anymore! It's all your fault!

You double-crossing two-timing jerk! How could you!?

I hear, a voice say "Don't be so blind"
It's telling me all of these things
That you would probably hide
Am I your one and only desire
Am I the reason you breathe,
Or am I the reason you cry

I wouldn't have believed it hadn't I seen it with my own eyes. You're dating a girl… How could you do this to me!? If you weren't happy… you could have at least said it, damn it! You could have said something!

Maybe you were just using me to calm you desires. Yeah, that's what it has to be. Or you don't want people to know you're going out with a guy…

No, you could've simply said it if it was that last thing. You could have just mentioned something!

But you attitude never changed. Does that mean you've been seeing her from the start!? This is driving me crazy! I don't want to see you again! Never again!

Always, always, always,
I just can't live without you!

And to think I let myself fall for that "I'll always be here for you" thing.

Well why aren't you here now, wise guy? I'll tell you why, because you're out there with that chick checking out her ass and buying her jewelry. That's why.

Because you didn't even care, you never cared! You were at work six days of the week and now, on your only free day you come to me and claim you were called again.

Well, that was the last straw! You crossed the line! Lying to me straight to the face like that… I'll never, never forgive you!

I love you!I hate you!
I can't get around you!
I breathe you,I taste you!
I can't live without you!I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess then I'm out that door
And now I'm done with you!

As I march up the stairs I can practically hear my footsteps echo in the empty house. Empty, because you're out with her, and not here with me. Empty, because I was naïve enough to believe I was enough for you.

I should have kept my mouth shut. I should have never told you my real feelings. That way you wouldn't have been able to stick a knife so deep in my back, that way you wouldn't have been able to break my heart.

That way I would have been happy just dreaming of what it could be and you would have been happy with that little Barbie girl you've got. It would've been all right if I hadn't said those words.

It's the first time I regret saying something this much. And you know what? I won't let you do this to me ever again.

I feel, like you don't want me around
I guess I'll pack all my things
I guess ill see you around
It's all, been bottled up till now
As I walk out your door
All I can hear is the sound of

I could stand all of your flirting, it was just your normal behavior, I knew that. I believed that.

But this, this is on a completely different level. This is too much. I'll absolutely never forget what you did and I'll get you back for all of it, no matter what I have to do!

Finally, the door to our- to your room. As soon as I get my things I'll never have to go back in here. That'd be perfect, you know, I don't even want to see that stupid bed and the picture on it.

A picture of the two of us.

Always, always, always,
I just can't live without you!

How could you do this, Roy?

When you said all of those things I thought you were actually being honest for once. That there weren't any hidden intentions behind them. That you really loved me or at least cared for me.

Why did you say it if you planned on breaking me later? Why did you do it?

I guess this is the game you play. The game trough which you put any of your girlfriends. I guess I was just like all of them just held around so that you'd have a good reputation.

And that's what's making me this mad. I was a fool to believe this was different and now I see how wrong I was.

I love you,I hate you,
I can't get around you!
I breathe you,I taste you,
I can't live without you!
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you.

I pull the suitcase from under the bed and start throwing my clothes in.

I don't know what I'll do after I get out of here. Probably just go back to Resembool and live with All. He's quite happy with Winry and I'm glad for those two. I just wish my life wasn't as messed up as this.

And it wouldn't be if it weren't for you. It's all your fault! This is all your fault!

I love you,I hate you,
I just can't live without you.

"Ed? What are you doing?"

I freeze. Maybe I should have stopped fussing and paid attention to what was going on around me.

You're here, standing at the door with that look of confusion and what I now know is fake worry.

Why didn't you stay with her just for a little while, why did you have to come here!?

"Get out of my face." My voice is threatening and to emphasize my words I shut the suitcase and turn towards the door where you're standing. "And out of my way!"

"Edward what's-"

"Just get away from me!" I can't stand it any more. My shout obviously had effect on you, but not the desired effect, actually.

Now you're coming in the room. I don't want you here, damn it, I just want you to disappear and never com back again!

Why won't you grant me that little wish? Why!?

I wrap my hand around your heart,
Why would you tear my world apart?
Always, always, always, always.

"Don't tell me you…" Realization strikes your face as you speed your pace towards me. "You saw me with…"

You're not denying it. You're actually not denying it! That's it! I can't take it anymore.

Before I even realize what I'm doing I grab the gun that usually stays on the bedside table and point it towards you holding it with two surprisingly steady hands.

"I told you to get out of my face. Don't you dare come any closer," I can't believe my own voice is so steady and calm. I guess that's what too much anger does to you.

But at least now I succeeded in stopping you. You froze in you place and are staring at me right now.

I can't stand that stare of yours, why do you have to make everything so hard, damn it! What did I do to you, to make you do this!?

"Just listen to me, Ed, it's not what it looked like, I understand that you're upset, but let me-"

"-explain? Let you explain?" I'm starting to shake with fury again. "What? How you've been dating her from the start? Or how you were just using me? Or were you using her, because I wasn't enough? I don't need you to explain any of this, I know it already!"

"Ed, just put the gun down and listen-"

"Shut up, just SHUT UP!'

BANG!

I see, the blood all over your hands
Does it make you feel, more like a man?
Was it all, just a part of your plan?
The pistol's shakin' in my hands
And all I hear is the sound!

I… I pulled… the trigger…

The gun falls from my shaking hands as I see you hold your left side with blood dripping from between your fingers.

My look of disbelief is perfectly mirrored on your face for the time you managed to keep your ground.

Then you fell to the floor and a puddle of your own blood started forming around you.

My breaths get out in raged pants as my mind starts to grasp what just happened.

I'm shaking again, but this time not with anger. Is it regret? Or…fear?

I swallow, taking a step back from the fallen pistol.

What have I done? What have I done!?

Just when I start to panic another sound gets my attention and before I know it I see Riza running to your side.

I love you,I hate you,
I can't live without you!
I love you,I hate you,
I can't live without you.
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I pick myself off the floor,
And now I'm done with you.

She's screaming your name and telling you to 'hold on'. Hold on to what? I just shot you… I just…

I'm crying again. I can feel the tears sliding down my cheers like burning rivers. I haven't cried in a long time, you know.

I didn't have a reason. After all of the problems were taken care of, after the Homunculi were defeated…

I was happy… Here, with you… Going back to Resembool from time to time to see everyone… I was happy… We were happy…

Why did you have to go and ruin it like this, why!? Why did it have to go this far?

"Edward… why did you do it?"

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by her question. She's already bandaged the wound somehow, but what would that help? Even if you go to the hospital it would bee too late.

I killed you… Why did I kill you?

I can't take her accusing stare any more. I just can't. Finally my feet are listening to me as I turn around and run out trough the window.

I can still hear her yelling behind me, but there is only one thing ringing in my ears right now…

Always, always, always.