Cold Comfort
Timeline: "Missing scene." Set after Inara gets her heart broke in HOG, during the evening of OIS after her and Mal's argument before Jubal Early boards the ship.
A/N: This is my first foray into Jayne/Inara.
---
---
---
Boots clunking on the metal grating high above the cargo-bay floor, Jayne strolled the catwalk, finishing his tour of the ship before checking in for the night.
The captain had ordered them all to get some rest, but something didn't sit right with him. He could feel it in his gut, low and edgy. The idea of mathematical killer-girl wandering around with one of his guns again left him extra cautious.
It seemed her brother couldn't keep her put or sane these days, and for that reason, it was best he covered his own hide. There was nothing worse than taking the blame for the things you didn't do when you where busy trying to hide the blame for the things you did.
Nearing Inara's shuttle, the sound of muffled crying caused him to stop dead in his tracks. Leaning on the railing, he paused, almost frozen by the sound. He honestly couldn't ever remember hearing that noise come from the woman before.
Looking about him, he checked quickly for any witnesses before making the impulsive decision to step inside the entryway of the craft. Careful to remain obscured by the drapery, Jayne listened intently. Just to be sure she weren't dying or nothing, he justified silently.
There was an inhalation of breath and then quiet before a voice called out, "Go away, Jayne."
The merc stepped out of his hidy-place. "How'd you?" he began. In a snapshot, he took in the details, noting that her hair was down and unkempt, tangled wildly about her shoulders instead of meticulously curled. Her face was paler than usual, black stuck under her eyes from where her makeup had run. Even still, he'd have her in a heartbeat.
"You reek of a man who lost his way to the shower. Days ago." Inara supplied bluntly, dabbing her eyes with a soft linen cloth in an attempt to erase the evidence.
"Oh, that." Lifting his arm up, Jayne sniffed himself and shrugged unapologetically. "Was just gonna get ta that, but I heard you in here an'…"
Inara held her head up high in defiance, which Jayne took as a cue not to finish his sentence. She didn't seem to want to be called out on her vulnerable state.
Straightening her garments, Inara sat taller on the couch, struggling for the illusion of self-possession. "Is there something in particular you wanted?" She asked curtly, hoping he'd be brief and leave. She hated being caught off guard.
She felt more exposed now than she ever did in her naked skin.
"No, nope." Stepping in a bit further, Jayne looked around. Everything was the same as the last time, back when he had settled that this was the place he was going to die.
Picking up a small figurine of an elephant, he sniffed it and put it back down before picking up a small Buddha. "Still stinks in here." He announced boorishly.
As Inara watched him walk around and touch her things, a twinge of anger rose to the surface, burning her cheeks. "Then leave. I don't recall inviting you in the first place." Lao tian ye, what was wrong with the men on this boat?
Jayne smiled; she was even cuter when she was an angry wreck.
Watching him smile should have irritated her further, but it was the infectious kind, the kind that made your own mouth curve up without permission. Suddenly, she felt foolish for snapping at him so readily.
"I'm sorry." Inara offered as she leaned forward to light a few candles. "You just caught me at a bad time. I didn't expect, I thought…Oh, never mind what I thought."
Jayne's eyes darted back and forth as he struggled to follow what she might be trying to tell him. Yep, he had nothing.
Practicing his best gentleman, he offered solace the only way he knew how. "Since I'm up, you want I get you something to eat. Drink maybe?"
Inara smiled graciously at the merc, impressed with his affability. "That's sweet but…"
"Ma-ssage?" He threw in casually, sneaking a hopeful glance at her as he idly traced the belly on the chubby God he held in the palm of his hands.
She knew there had to be a catch. "Jayne." Inara cautioned gently.
"A purely plantanical one." The merc defended, hoping that just this once she'd give in to his flirtations.
"You mean platon…never mind." Inara resigned weakly. "Thank you for the gesture, really. I just need some…I'll be fine."
Jayne raised a doubtful eyebrow as he remembered the thing in his hand and set it down.
He didn't know what was wrong with her nor did he care to. Figured it was just some woman thing or Mal. Probably Mal. It was just the sight of her looking…well, like a regular woman that played on his rare but noble sensibilities.
"Suit yerself." Jayne aired casually. Turning to leave, he hesitated and turned back, holding his hand up in consideration of thought. "I can stay…" he offered in a last ditch effort.
"Goodnight, Jayne." Inara answered firmly, her large brown eyes meaning business.
Jayne tried to hide his disappointment and the sting of inevitable rejection as he made his way out. It never hurt to try, but with her, sometimes it did.
----
However, as the evening wore on, Inara wasn't fine. The hole that had ripped open in her gut remained. It had created a vortex which sucked the life from her bones, leaving her weak, raw and exposed. Everything was numb and she was tired of feeling like a sack of nothing.
Her ability to detach herself from almost every situation had finally failed her; the cautionary wall torn down and in ill-repair. She had nothing out here if not her defenses, and her future was shaky at best.
Crawling from her bed, she felt for her robe, slipped on her sandals and made her way out of the shuttle. The ship was quiet and dim, powered down for their artificial night. The emptiness was nice, the comfort of solitude, of not having to explain the bags under her eyes and her lackluster smile. Composure was a fulltime job.
After an a bit of aimless wandering, Inara found herself in the kitchen pouring herself a ritual cup of tea, the hot steam rising up and already working to calm her senses.
"Hi-ya, Nara."
Startled, Inara jumped, causing the water to flood the small cup and gush over the sides, making an instant puddle on the counter. So much for sedated nerves.
"What a day, huh?" The mechanic exclaimed breathlessly as she plopped down on a chair at the table. Pulling a work rag from her pocket, she began to wipe at the thin layer of grease streaking her face.
Day, month, year, the companion thought silently. "It's been colorful." She agreed as she wiped up her mess. "But then again, it always is."
Kaylee tossed the cloth down in resignation. "Don't know why I bother." She pouted. "Not like there's anyone else up this hour. Anyone, tall, handsome and most likely in a snit with me right about now." She finished forlornly.
Inara remained quiet, thinking about another man she half wanted to have a chance encounter in with. It was hopeless, all the grays that prevented things from being simple. That and he was utterly insufferable.
Changing the subject, Kaylee sat up straighter, voicing something else that was weighing heavily on her mind. "Do you think we should be worried? About River, I mean?"
"I always worry about the girl." Inara imparted as she moved to sit at the table with Kaylee. Looking down at her tea as she stirred, the whirling liquid mirrored her churning thoughts. "But if you're wondering if she'll turn on us, I don't know." She finished honestly.
The fact that she wasn't particularly stressed over the idea said something though. It was easy enough to become lost in this universe, on this ship, but to have to survive here without any defense mechanism seemed unbearable. No, she couldn't really feel anything but empathy for the girl.
"I think we should give her the benefit of the doubt." Inara concluded finally, carefully sipping her tea.
"Yeah." Kaylee agreed, lost in thought. "I suppose you're right. But if you don't mind, think I'll keep a sharp ear just in case. Gets awful quiet here at night, an' for some reason, I'm feelin' especially antsy."
Reaching over, Inara squeezed Kaylee's hand. "Airing on the side of caution, I understand."
Smiling prettily, Kaylee felt somewhat comforted. Then again, that was Inara's gift and she was grateful for it. Standing, the mechanic stretched, reaching tall to work out the kinks and wake her muscles. "Well, I have me at least four more hours of repairs that need workings. Wish me luck."
Inara mustered a smile, "I'm sure you'll get it done in half that time."
---
Passing through the corridor that housed the bunks on the way back to her room, Inara paused instinctively outside Mal's quarters. It was a space she had entered only once before, and the memory of that experience was bittersweet. How close they'd come.
Looking at the steel barrier, her insides clinched, she wanted desperately to knock, to enter, to communicate and act in a manner entirely different then she normally would.
Holding back had caused so much internal damage which she felt almost beyond repair. If this was how it felt to truly and madly care for someone, maybe it was safer she was elsewhere, somewhere everything didn't have to hurt so much. Somewhere…
Insanity gripped her like a fever as the idea entered her mind. It was a sudden mental push that came out of nowhere, and it was strangely liberating. To forgo careful thought and extensive planning, for once not to weigh consequence. Anything to kill this feeling.
Moving her hands up to her hair, Inara smoothed out her locks, tucking the curls behind her ears. Turning from Mal's door, she crossed the hall, drinking in a confident breath as she raised her hand and rapped lightly.
There was nothing but silence on the other end. Taking a moment to pinch her cheeks and smooth her tongue over her teeth, Inara tried again. There was a rustling and the click of something being loaded and then finally his hatch swung open.
Gun raised and ready, Jayne blinked at Inara and then looked her up and down suspiciously. "T'is a first." He slurred, still drunk with sleep.
"My room, ten minutes." Inara commanded. "Before I change my mind."
---
As he watched her walk away, a quick turn and flutter of silk, Jayne could hardly believe his ears. It may be possible he was dreaming. He'd spent many a night working up this kind of scenario. It weren't the sort of thing that actually happened in flesh and bone life.
Right, then. Hopping back down to his bunk, he set to unloading his gun and storing it away. Moving to the sink, he soon found himself whistling as he combed water through his hair and freshened his teeth.
A new found energy and vigor gripped his muscles, he felt like a happy kid as he made himself presentable. He was going to have an expensive night of fun on the house. Luck was finally on his side.
Jayne frowned at his reflection in the mirror. That was what she was offering, right?
---
It was impulsive, rash and possibly the most regrettable thing she'd ever done. For all those reasons, Inara was convinced it was the right thing to do. Not right in a moral sense, but the answer to filling the void, to escape everything she was.
As she paced the area at the foot of her bed, Inara was almost positive he wouldn't object to being the cold comfort to her burning heart's desire.
A clearing of the throat interrupted her pacing and mental justifications. Looking to the entrance, Inara found him standing there, looking pert and smelling a whole lot better than he did earlier.
Eyeing the mercenary up and down, she assessed him in a manner she never before allowed herself, as someone to be had, a flesh and blood man. He was large, well-muscled, fit…looking down further, Inara raised an eyebrow in consideration… possibly well-endowed…
"M' ready ta get serviced!" Jayne announced brashly as he moved into the space, making sure to rake her over with his eyes on his way to the couch. Sitting down, he quickly and eagerly removed his boots.
Inara rolled her eyes. Now only if she could keep him quiet it would all work out perfectly.
Jayne looked up at Inara as she approached him. Pulling off his socks, he tossed them aside. "Do we have ta do that tea thingy?"
Letting out a resigned breath, Inara loosened the tie on her silk robe and let it fall open. Underneath, she was soft and naked and immediately accessible. There needn't be steps.
"You're not my client." Inara answered, lowering her voice into something more sultry. "Just a man."
Drinking her in appreciatively, Jayne grabbed a round hip and pulled her down onto him. "Hell yeah, I am." He exclaimed, leering at every visible part of her.
Prying at the bottom of his shirt, Inara helped pull the garment over his head, and it was tossed casually aside next to the socks. Running a slender hand through the thick hair covering his chest, she could feel the warm blood pumping just beneath, the brute animal caged only by skin.
"This doesn't mean anything." She avowed, the purr in her throat becoming less feigned as his hands let loose, rough and unabashed. Shrugging off her robe, Inara let it slip to the floor, baring everything she had to offer.
"Doesn't have to." Jayne agreed, a hungry glint in eyes. Grabbing a hold of her slender arms, he leaned forward and attacked her shoulder with his mouth. Hunger guided his lips and teeth across her skin to the crook of her neck where he continued to lap her up like a midnight snack.
Trying not to hum at the sensation, Inara lolled her head to the side allowing him full access. Urgency found her fingers as she reached between them and tugged at his belt. Unhooking his fly, she sunk her hands into his pants and gripped his length, wasting no time in exploring his aching mass. It was warm, he was warm and the thought of being filled by him took complete control of reason.
Jayne sucked in a sharp breath and let out a strained growl as her perfectly manicured hand pumped him firm and steady. "Wo de ma, woman. You in a hurry or something?" He scolded.
He had wanted this for far too long for it to be over in a heartbeat. Prolonging the experience was what he was aiming for, not the other thing.
Rocking to her knees, Inara pressed fully against Jayne, aligning herself with his fervent member. He was indeed large, brushing the tip of her entrance at this height and she wanted nothing more than to impale herself onto him. To purge the angst from her body, to be free.
Looking him dead in the eyes, she was resolute. "If I wanted slow and gentle, I would have gone to Simon."
At that, she sank slowly, taking him in fully and selfishly, not for a second caring what he wanted and it felt beyond amazing. Her breath hitched as she reached the base of him, as they fit together. Oh, god.
Jayne leaned back against the couch, his eyes rolling back in his head at the feel of her. "Or this is good." He groaned, and then again with every slight movement. There was no shame in being vocal.
Opening his eyes, he watched as she slid up and down, moving like one of those belly dancers, rotating her hips and using all those hidden muscles to milk him to the point of surrender. If he died right now, he'd be the happiest man in the world.
Everything fluttered away behind Inara's eyelids as she concentrated on the dance below, on hands where they gripped her possessively. Slowly, the weight of the world evaporated until there was only sweat and breath and skin.
Sliding his hands up from her hips to her back, Jayne pulled Inara flush, desiring to feel the swell of her breasts against him as they moved together. Where he touched her, his calloused hands felt out of place on her velvety skin, reminding him just how fleeting the moment was.
Turning his face, he buried it in her hair as their lower bodies pumped faster, speeding towards the reward of mutual gratification. Her flowery, clean scent mixed with his musk, and the smell of sex wafted intoxicatingly through the air.
Inara tightened her grip around Jayne's brood shoulders as her body and mind spiraled towards the bright light, the good hurt intensifying with each thrust. Almost there she thought methodically along with the motion of her body, almost there…
Fueled by Inara's more frenzied moans, Jayne felt the blood drain from his face and
the familiar spasm in his cock, the rush of pleasure threatening to erupt and fill her violently to the brim. "Fuck, yes." He hissed, digging so hard into her hips that it was sure to leave marks.
"Inara?" A voice called from outside the shuttle.
Inara stilled instantly atop of Jayne, the high point instantly fading away like a receding tide.
Cut off cruelly from the brink, the blood rushed back into Jayne's body as he leaned his head back in defeat, letting out a string of curses.
Panic clenched at Inara's fast beating heart as she moved forward to clasp a hand over Jayne's mouth. She hoped beyond hope that just this once a man wouldn't enter her shuttle uninvited. This was probably the most compromising position in which she could ever be caught.
"Inara?" The voice tried again. "I thought if you were still awake you might want to partake in a reading? I have one on evangelists I think you would find amusing."
Jayne's eyes shot from the door to Inara's, eyebrows lifting in a mixture of shock and amusement. Inara glared right back, finding the moment not so humorous. Keeping her eyes trained on Jayne, she tried searching for the right pitch before she responding, "Um, now's not really a good time, Shepherd. Tomorrow perhaps?"
Jayne's eyes glittered jovially as he mumbled something inaudible against Inara's hand. The protrusion of his smile against her palm was enough to tell her it was most likely something entirely inappropriate.
There was a pause outside, like maybe the preacher had heard Jayne's muffled speech, before his hesitant voice answered back, "Tomorrow, then." There was an additional pause and Inara could just imagine the puzzled look donning the older man's face. "I hope I have not disturbed you in some way?" Book asked contemplatively.
Inara's hand slipped from Jayne's mouth as she craned her neck to the door, hoping the man wouldn't take it upon himself to check on her. At that moment Jayne took the opportunity to nip along her collar bone, biting and suckling his way down her chest.
Apparently he wasn't apprehensive about being caught.
A little more high-pitched than she intended, no small thanks to the nipple that was now being savored by Jayne's mouth, she tried to appease the preacher's concern. "No, no, not at all. You have a good night, Shepherd, and I'll see you in the morning."
"That I will, and you as well." He called back, still sounding unsure.
The retreating footsteps were a blessed sound.
"Halleluiah," Inara exhaled thankfully.
"Amen." Jayne preached not missing a beat. He was doing wicked things to get her revved up again. "Thought we'd haff ta invite him fer a lecture on our wicked ways." Jayne noted between mouthfuls.
Clarity was back. "Jayne…" she attempted, pushing hard on his shoulders in an effort to get him to detach. "I think the moment has passed."
"Wha-huh?" Jayne's face fell like a petulant child's.
Bodies cool and damp, Inara lifted up, feeling him slide from her body. Surprisingly, she felt a sad, hollow emptiness at the loss. Bending down, she picked up her robe and slipped it back on, tying the string in a firm knot between her breasts.
Watching Inara close herself off caused a flip to switch in Jayne's brain. He went from feeling disappointment to frustration in a flash. Pulling up his pants and standing abruptly, he glared down at Inara as he snapped himself shut. "Now, that ain't right fair, 'Nara. You can't go leavin' a man high and dry." He half pleaded, half reproached. "It's down right cruel is what."
"I can and I will. You had your fun, get over it." She snapped back, watching as his blue eyes grew several shades frostier.
Turning away to distance herself as much as possible, she added shakily, "I have." Looking down at her bed, she felt a pang of guilt at her cruelty.
She could hear him growl angrily as he stepped inside of his boots and imagined that the look he was shooting her back was one that could kill. Good. That's exactly how she needed him. It was the only way to keep this from happening again.
Jayne swiped his shirt up from the ground and stalked angrily towards the door.
"I'd appreciate it if this stayed between us." Inara called after him, now chancing a look at the tense muscles in his back as he came to a stop.
Jayne turned his head to the side, not looking at her. "There ain't nothing to tell." He confirmed sourly. With that, he stormed from the shuttle, half regretting ever taking the woman up on her glorious offer.
Inara sat down on the bed, wondering if the night could get any worse.
---
1 hour later…
---
"You can tell a companion lives here. There's candles and incense to mask the real goings ons. I wonder, if this room were to talk, what would it say?"
Inara looked up at the large black man standing at the entrance of her shuttle and swallowed heavily, bracing for the worst.
---
---
---
Lao tian ye - Jesus