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To Neverland
Five year ago:
We entered the hotel room laughing. He kicked the door closed, and his hands grabbed my hips then pushed me against the door. His warm, smooth lips attacked mine, and I could smell and taste the bitter taste of alcohol on his tongue.
I pushed him lightly, leaving my hand on his firm chest. "We should stop. You're drunk." I told him gently.
His hooded green eyes were glazed over, and he grinned seductively. "Please, Baby. This was my big night. I want to make it even more special by celebrating it with you." His hands slid from my waist and grasped my ass, pulling me into his growing erection.
"I don't know…" my resolve wavered as my mind grew clouded with lust. We made love many times before, but never with one of us drunk.
"Please," his warm breath tickled under my ear as he trailed soft kisses down my neck to my collarbone.
My breath hitched when he sucked gently on the tender flesh near my pulse point. He rhythmically rubbed against my center, and I started throbbing with desire.
"Yes," I moaned with pleasure. I felt his lips curve into a smile against my skin. I heard his pants drop as he lifted me up off the floor. My legs wrapped around his waist, ankles locking together against his back.
He pushed at the fabric of my strapless dress until my breasts popped out. His lips trailed further down so he could feast on one and then the other. His tongue swirled around my nipples teasingly before he gently sucked them into his mouth.
I clutched on to him pulling him tighter to me. My fingers wove through his thick bronze hair. I tugged on it until I was able to pull his lips back to mine. He kissed me hungrily, and his tongue slipped into my mouth and twisted around mine as they dance together in their own sensual way.
With a gentle, but quick push, he entered me, and I moaned as he began to sensually move. The door rattled behind me with our increasing speed, and I gasped his name, tugging on his hair, my toes curling as I clenched around him. With one final thrust, I felt him come deep inside me.
He pulled back, rested his forehead against mine as we both tried to catch our breath. His free hand cupped my face gently, allowing his thumb to caress my cheek. "I love you so much, Bella. Always and forever, never doubt that." His green eyes were filled with so much love and devotion.
SG
Today:
Stories appear in the news all the time about a child's last wish being granted. Most want to go to Disney World. Others want to have a day where they can be what they wanted to be if they were allowed to grow up — such as a fireman. Then there are those kids who want to meet a celebrity — like Joe Brady, Chris Pine, or Taylor Swift.
Not my son.
My son had only one wish — to meet his dad.
I knew who his dad was, but he made it clear he wanted no contact since Peter was the size of a grape in my womb. I last saw him when he signed the papers relinquishing his rights as a parent before he went off to live his life far away from us
I watched as my son slept restlessly in his hospital bed while attached to an IV, a heart monitor, and an oxygen tank. He looked so small and pale — his Peter Pan PJs too big for his tiny form. His lips were tinged slightly blue, and he had dark shadows under his eyes. His bronze hair was cut short. He clutched his small stuffed crocodile in his arms.
Peter was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect at birth. In his four short years, he has had several surgeries — for a heart catheter, and when that did work open heart surgery to repair holes in his tiny heart. However, even after all of this, his heart was still failing. My baby needed a new heart soon, or I was going to lose him.
"Hey," my brother called quietly as he stepped into the room. He glanced at the bed and gave Peter a sad smile. Even my strong, optimistic brother was struggling to keep his positive outlook these days. "How's he doing today?" he whispered, placing two duffle bags down in the room.
"I wish I could tell you better, but that would be a lie." I shook my head and leaned over to wipe some wisps of hair off Peter's forehead. "The doctor was in … He said … A few days maybe a week." My lower lip trembled, and my eyes watered.
"Fu…dge," Emmett quickly caught himself as Peter's eyes blinked open.
I brushed the tears from my eyes and forced a smile. I refused to let Peter see my tears.
"Fudge? I want fudge." His little voice rasped rough with sleep.
"I don't know, are you allowed to have fudge?" Emmett teased. I knew he would give in to Peter. We all wanted to see him happy for the short time he had left.
"Pwease," Peter pouted.
"Let me give Auntie Rosie a call, and I'll bet she will be happy to bring you some." Emmett pulled out his phone.
I cleared my throat to remind him he wasn't allowed to use it in here.
"Right." He nodded and turned it off before he slipped it back into his pocket.
"Did you bring Peter Pan?" Peter asked sounding more awake now.
"I did, in fact; I brought every copy I could find." Emmett pulled several DVD cases out of his bag and placed them on the bed.
Peter ironically loved everything to do with Peter Pan. He pointed to one of the colorful cartoon covers, and Emmett went over to place it in the player.
Within minutes, Peter was engrossed in the movie. Emmett nodded his head towards the doorway, and I followed him out, leaving the door open so I could hear Peter if he called for me.
"B, I don't how to tell you this, but I received some more bad news." Emmett grimaced and ran his hand through his hair.
"What?" I was almost afraid to ask. What more could go wrong?
"When I went to your apartment, your stuff was out in the lobby, and there was eviction notice on the door," he explained hastily.
"That can't be right! I was only a day late last month. Aro said it was no big deal and not to worry. And the rent isn't due until next week." I started to panic.
"I went to talk to him. He seems to think that with all your recent medical expenses, and since you were fired, you wouldn't be able to pay," Emmett explained.
"But I still had another week, at least. Isn't he supposed to give me warning, or some shit like that? How did he find out I lost my job?" I rubbed my temples, in frustration.
When Peter ended up in the hospital, I asked for some time off from the store where I was working. They responded by telling me to take all the time I needed — in other words, I was fired. Thankfully, Emmett's friend, Jasper, was a lawyer and he fought back and got me a severance package.
"Jasper is already on it. Unfortunately, I was unable to get there before scavengers went through your things. What I was able to save is in those two bags and a couple of boxes in my car." Emmett frowned apologetically.
"That's all of it?" I mumbled my head was still trying sort it all out.
"I'm so sorry, B. All your electronics, furniture, Peter's toys and stuff animals. All of it's gone." Emmett cringed.
"What about my pictures, the ones of Peter as a baby, please tell me that I haven't lost those?" I begged.
"There were some picture frames and albums left behind. Aro won't get away with this, B. I promise." Emmett reached out and squeezed one of my limp hands. "Don't worry; you can stay with Rose and me until you get back on your feet. This is the last thing you need to worry about it right now, let us take care of it."
I hugged him and hid my tears in his shirt. "Oh, Em, I don't know what I would do without you guys. I'll pay you all back someday — I promise." I sniffled.
"Aww, B, don't cry. I hate it when you do that." He rubbed my back. "You don't have to pay any of us back. You would do the same if it were one of us."
"He's still asking to meet his dad. I tried to call him, but that bitch answered and told me to stop harassing them," I mumbled.
"You know how I feel about that," Emmett answered tersely. I felt him tense, there was no love lost between Peter's dad and my brother.
I pulled away and wiped my tears. "I had to try. It's what Peter wants the most. The guy I fell in love with, he would be here if he knew. That guy has to be there somewhere inside of him, I know it does."
"Bella, you are fooling yourself … The guy is nothing but a prick now. Peter is better off not knowing him. If you didn't tell him such wonderful stories about his dad, he wouldn't want to meet the guy." Emmett crossed his arms over his chest. He glanced towards Peter to make sure he wasn't listening.
"What was I supposed to say — that has dad was a jerk who found out about him and then left us?" I asked in exasperation. I didn't want Peter to feel his rejection.
"I don't know. I swear though if that bastard shows his prissy face, I'm going to make it hideous. Then let's see how many movie roles he gets." Emmett growled.
TN
I stepped into the waiting room for Jasper's office. I hated to be away from Peter for even a minute. However, Jasper insisted that it was important, and that I come down. He promised it wouldn't take long.
I stopped short when I noticed who was sitting in a chair looking out of place in the waiting room. Charlotte Stars. She was dressed as if she should be at a movie premiere.
She spotted me at the same time, and her cat-like eyes narrowed. "Are you stalking us?" she asked in high-pitched nasal voice.
Before I could answer, the office door opened. Edward 'Fucking' Cullen, Peter's father, walked out. He was dressed in an impeccable black suit with sunglasses … indoors.
"No, I have a meeting with Jasper; I had no idea you would be here," I answered her honestly.
Edward looked at me and seemed pissed. "Why haven't you called to tell me about our son being so sick?" he demanded angrily.
"I think you mean my son, since you wrote him off before he was born. And for the record, I have tried to reach you several times. Don't blame me if your answering service doesn't give you your messages." I glanced quickly at Charlotte, who had risen to her feet.
Charlotte blocked my path to Edward with her hands on her hips. "He is busy. Edward's time is worth a lot of money that can't be wasted on trivial matters. Or those looking for money for a charity case."
"My son isn't a charity case. And I was speaking to Edward. Unless, he has become a ventriloquist, and you're his dummy, he can answer for himself." I hissed at her.
"What does that even mean?" Charlotte pouted and looked confused.
"I can speak for myself, Charlotte," Edward stated softly. "What's going on with Peter?"
"I'm surprised you even know his name. I wouldn't be bothering you if it weren't important, and there isn't an easy way to say this. Peter was born with a congenital heart defect, and there isn't much more the doctors can do for him. He has been given a week to live, at the most," I explained quickly and tears welled in my eyes.
"Save us your sob story, and get to the point already. Is the kid even his?" Charlotte tapped her foot annoyingly on the floor.
"Would you please shut the hell up," I snapped at her.
"Are you going to let this woman speak to me like that," Charlotte demanded turning to Edward.
"That is enough," he stated firmly, looking agitated.
"Thank you." she cocked her head and shot me a triumphant look.
"Charlotte, I was talking to you." He glanced at her sharply.
"Me?!" She clasped her hand to her chest in shock.
"Yes, now let her speak without interrupting." Edward insisted. He took his sunglasses off and tucked them into his front pocket.
She huffed and stomped her way over to the couch, sitting down hard and folding her arms over her chest in a childish display.
What the hell does he see in this bitch?
"Have you come looking for money? I could write you a check, just tell me how much you need." Edward offered surprisingly.
I scowled at his insinuation.
"Edward, I've never asked you for a thing. In all these years have I ever tried to contact you or anything?" I barely paused before continuing. "No, I haven't. And I'm not asking you now either. I would never be standing here talking to you if it weren't important. I know you signed way all of your parental rights, and you don't have to pay a dime to us, and I would never ask you for anything … Peter …"
I paused to take a deep breath as I tried not to cry, but how could he be so pompous after all we had shared at one time.
"Peter's dying wish is to meet his daddy. Please, if you could find the time to see him, it would make his dreams come true. That's all he wants, no trip to Disney, no grand gestures, just you. "
"Edward has obligations — this is award season after all. Edward is up for an Oscar, and can't waste time on some sick little boy," Charlotte spoke up from the couch.
I closed my eyes in frustration because she was wearing on my last nerve. It surprised me that Edward hadn't spoken. Had he actually become so heartless? Was Emmett right about him? I opened my eyes and stared straight into his cool greens.
"So that's it then. You have nothing more to say?" I shrugged feeling defeated.
"I do have obligations... I could try…" Edward started to speak and paused — his expression was slightly apologetic.
"So sorry that he chose the wrong time for his heart to give up on him. You know what, it's just as well. He's better off never meeting someone who is as cold-hearted as you. What happened to you, Edward? You used to be so sweet and caring. If this is what Hollywood has turned you into, then I think we dodged a bullet when you left us. You're lucky that your fans don't see the real you. I wonder how many you would still have if they knew you've turned your back on your dying son."
I shook my head in disgust and turned to leave.
"Are you threatening him? Right in front of all these witnesses?" Charlotte said from across the room as Edward's eyes grew dark and stormy.
"He's not worth the energy. Not to mention, I don't want my son knowing what a true bastard his father was. He's better off with his dreamed-up version of you. Forget I even asked. But for the record, I could have ruined your career years ago by leaking Peter to the press, but I would never do that." I turned and left the office.
I only realized that I forgot to meet with Jasper when he ran after me before I got to the elevator.
"Bella, hold on. " He held up some papers in his hands. "I got the settlement. Aro caved as soon as he realized he would lose his case in court. You get your deposit as well as the last month of rent back in full. He also gave a cash value of the items that went missing."
"That won't bring back the memories I lost. Peter loved those stuffed animals; going to the zoo was a place of solace for him. The pictures of him on my computer as a baby, can't be replaced. They are all gone and money isn't going to bring that back," I ranted in frustration.
Jasper looked abashed and rubbed the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry, Jasper, I'm not upset with you. Thank you for everything, I do appreciate it all. What do I owe you?" I asked him.
"Nothing, Darlin', you go spend time with that boy of yours. I would have brought you the papers, but when Edward showed up for a meeting I thought you might be able to use that time to talk to him. I'm sorry that he's such a jackass." Jasper dug into his pocket and handed me a clean handkerchief.
"It's not your fault. Thank you." I hugged him.
Over his shoulder I saw Edward in the doorway watching our exchange with a blank look on his face, his eyes were once again covered by his sunglasses. I turned away and headed back to the hospital.
TN
It was late in the afternoon, and Peter was watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates with half-closed eyes. The remainder of his lunch sat on a tray next to his bed. He hadn't eaten much.
I was on my own for a while since Rose had stayed with Peter this morning, and Emmett was coming after dinner. I wasn't expecting anyone else to stop by. However, a shadow in the doorway made me look up to see Edward standing there, wearing a ball cap and sunglasses.
I jumped to my feet and cast a quick look at Peter before I reached the door. I forced Edward to back up into the hallway.
"What are you doing here?" I demanded.
He took off his glasses and gave me hesitant look. "I thought you wanted me to come."
"Peter wanted to meet you, I could care less if I ever saw you again, after this afternoon," I hissed.
He paused and sighed. "Fair enough."
"Please, tell me you didn't bring that bitch with you because there is no way in hell she is ever going to be near my baby." I glanced behind him, but couldn't see any signs of her.
"Charlotte is in the air, probably driving the flight attendant in first-class bonkers about now with her demands." He smirked.
"What do you even seen in her?" I scoffed.
"I'm not here to talk about Charlotte. I'm here to meet my son if you'll let me." He played with thesunglasses in his hands.
"Fine, but I swear to God, you better not upset him." I threatened. I turned to go back into the room.
"Wait." His hand brushed my shoulder and I felt a familiar tingle from his touch. "What does he know about me?" He looked nervous.
"He knows the you that I knew in high school. He knows you left after graduation, and I was never able to find you again to tell you about him." I chewed on the inside of my lip.
"Why?" he looked perplexed.
"Because I didn't have the heart to tell him that when I went to tell his daddy I was pregnant, I found him in bed, fucking another woman. On top of that, his daddy didn't want to have anything to do with him. I did it to protect him, not you. I lied to my precious son because your choices forced me to. I would never let him feel discarded by his father," I replied angrily
"I see," he replied softly, having the decency to look guilty.
"Mommy." I could hear Peter call weakly from the room.
I stepped back in without a word and went quickly to his bed. I swept the hair off his forehead and leaned down to give him a small kiss. "How are you doing, Baby."
"I okay." He shrugged and looked passed me. "Mommy, who's that?"
I glanced over my shoulder, and Edward had stepped into the room. He was staring at Peter looking as if he was in a bit of shock.
"His name is Edward." I paused before adding. "He's your daddy."
"Daddy?!" Peter's eyes lit up, and he started to smile.
Edward blinked and nodded. He cleared his throat. "Hi, Peter," he sounded choked with emotion."
"Where you been?" he asked innocently trying to sit up in bed. I grabbed the remote and raised his bed a bit more.
Edward shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I've mostly been in California. I'm an actor."
"What's an actor?"
"A person who makes believe he's someone else in the movies." Edward tried to explain.
"Have you maked believe you were Peter Pan?" Peter pointed to his small collections of movies.
"Ah ... No, but I have played a pirate." Edward answered in amusement.
"A good pirate or bad pirate?" Peter furrowed his eyebrows.
"A little bit of both, but mostly good." Edward shrugged.
"Can I see it?" Peter asked eagerly.
"I think you will have to wait until you're older." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his eyes widened in horror at his slip of the tongue. He glanced at me quickly in alarm.
My heart clenched in my chest and a lump formed in my throat, so I wasn't able to help him.
"Oh, I'm never going to grow up," Peter told Edward seriously.
Edward winced and ran his hand through his hair.
"I'm going to be like Peter Pan and go to Neverland. There I can run and play all day. I can fight pirates, look for treasure, swim with mermaids, and have pow-wows with Indian. Oh yeah, and I can fly, too," Peter explained sounding hopeful. "The best part is I won't be sick anymore."
"That sounds like a fun place." Edward smiled, but his eyes still looked haunted. He glanced at me again for help.
I glanced away to wipe at a stray tear.
"Are you mad at Mommy?" Peter looked between us, and his smiled faded.
"What? No, of course not." Edward shook his head. "Why would I be?"
"Because, you didn't know about me?" Peter looked worried.
Edward looked around and took a seat on a chair at the opposite side of the bed. "No. I'm not mad at Bell …your mom at all. What happened was all my fault, and I'm very sorry that I haven't met you before." Edward seemed genuine, but then he was an actor for a reason.
There was a knock on the door breaking the tension of the room. A woman in business attire stood in the doorway. "Ms. Swan, may I have a word with you?" she asked.
"Yes. I'll be right back. Why don't you guys watch one of the Peter Pan movies." I hoped to distract Peter for a moment.
I stepped out in the hall not closing the door all the way. I turned to face the woman. "Yes," I asked hoping to get this over quickly so I could get back in there.
"Ms. Swan, I'm from billing, and I came down to talk to you about payment plans now that your insurance isn't going to cover your son." She claimed, waving a paper in my face.
"What are you talking about? Why would my insurance be dropped? Why is this the first I'm hearing about this?" I started panicking.
"Well when one does lose their job, they also lose their insurance." She responded too snidely for my taste.
"What was I suppose to do? Leave my four-year-old son in the hospital by himself after we were told he was dying?" I demanded.
Her eyes softened slightly. "Even so, Ma'am, if you don't start making payments soon we will have to terminate care." She held out a piece of paper.
"You're not serious. You would kick my baby out after we were told he has less than a week to live? What kind of heartless place is this?" Tears ran down my face. I glanced at the bill and felt a pit grow in my stomach. I had very little savings after medical expenses, and I would hate to ask Emmett for more help.
"Can I see a copy of that bill?" Edward spoke up from behind me.
"Who are you?" she asked looking over the top of her glasses at Edward.
"I am the boy's father, so I believe this is my responsibility as well." He reached for the paper in my hand.
"Edward, no," I said taking back the paper.
He glanced at me and gave me a sad smile. "I owe far more than this, Bella." He turned back to the woman who was impatiently waiting.
"Will you take a personal check?" he asked her.
"With a valid I.D.," she answered with a sniff.
Edward pulled out a checkbook and pen from his jacket. He then grabbed his I.D. from his wallet. He held it out to her, but when she went to grab it, he didn't let go.
"Before I let you have this; I think you owe Ms. Swan an apology. I understand you need to get your payment, but you could show a little compassion for someone who is about to lose their loved one, especially a child. She is a single mother, who has worked her damndest for that little boy, and she doesn't deserve your attitude as if she was trying to cheat you." He glared at her.
My mouth dropped open in a bit of shock. The woman paled and nodded her head. She turned to me with a remorseful expression.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am for the way I went about this, and for what you're going through." She apologized.
I nodded my head unable to speak. Edward let go of the check. He handed her a business card as well. She glanced briefly at the I.D., and her eyes widen with recognition.
"Any additional expenses that come up for Peter Swan I want to be billed directly to me. You will not disturb Ms. Swan again, is that understood?" he added tersely. "Also, I rather it doesn't get out I'm here. I want to spend what time my son has left privately, and not hounded by the media."
"Yes, Sir." She agreed and walked away.
"I'll pay you back somehow, I promise. Thank you," I said gratefully.
He looked down at me in surprise. "I don't expect you to pay me back at all."
"But…"
He held up his hand stopping me. "Bella, I've made some big mistakes. Let me do this, please. It is the very least I can do for you both."
"All right." I stepped back into the room to see that Peter was sleeping again.
"He fell asleep before the movie barely started," Edward said from behind me.
"He sleeps a lot now," I admitted. And every time he did, I was afraid it was the last time I would see him awake. "I'm sorry you came all this way for nothing. He's going to be asleep so much. When did you have to be back?"
I sat back down next to Peter and gently fixed his blankets.
"I'm not going back. At least not until…" he cleared his throat roughly. "I've already missed too much time. I'm not going to miss another moment more.
"Why do you care now? Don't you have some award show to attend?" I scoffed.
"No award show is more important than this. And for the record, I have always cared," he declared as he forcefully sat down in another seat.
"You could've fooled me," I spoke in a harsh whisper.
Luckily, Peter was a heavy sleeper, or we wouldn't be having this conversation here.
"Things got very messed up back then; I made some truly stupid decisions, and I regret all of them." He ran both hands through his hair — the way he did when he was stressed.
"I don't even really know that to say about that. If it weren't for Peter, I would tell you to go to hell ...back to Hollywood and leave us alone." I crossed my arms in front of me protectively.
"And I wouldn't blame you for a moment. All I can tell you is how sorry I am, and I know that it will never be enough. Perhaps if I had been around, Peter might not be here in this bed right now." He looked down wistfully at our son.
"I have done everything I could for him. I took him to countless specialists, and he's had more than his fair share of surgeries for a little boy. His only chance to live is a donor's heart. However, the chances of another child ... I can't even wish that on another mother or father to lose their baby so I can have mine." My eyes filled with angry tears at his implication.
"I wasn't trying to say that you didn't. Bella, I have no doubt that you have done everything you could for him. My regret is that I haven't. I thought I was doing the best thing for you both, and now I realize I didn't." He pleaded.
"Best thing? The best thing you could do was to cheat on me then leave me pregnant while you went and lived the high life in Hollywood?" I glared at him.
"It isn't all that glamorous, and you have it all wrong. I hate my life in Hollywood, and I wish I never did that first movie." He leaned back in the hard plastic seat looking like a tortured soul.
I sighed and uncrossed my arms. "Then explain it all to me, Edward. And the complete truth. I don't want any more lies. Something seemed off back then, and I want to know what happened."
"It started shortly after the premier or I guess before that. I thought making that one movie would give us the money we needed to get us both through college. Despite my father's warnings — I never had his lawyer look at my contract. I thought the lawyer that studio provided would be on my side. I was so young and stupid that I didn't even read the contract fully, — I just skimmed. That was my first mistake.
With my first check, I went out and found the prettiest Sapphire ring, and I was going to propose to you on your birthday. I figured if we were married, then you couldn't say no to me paying for college." He paused and took a deep breath.
"Go on." I prompted.
"I made the mistake of showing Demetri the ring. He told me then that he had control over my personal relationships; it was all in the contract I had signed. I thought it was a joke. But then he pulled out the papers and showed it to me. I told him that I wasn't going to give you up, that I loved you.
He then went to his safe and took out a DVD and told me that he had a tape of the two of us having drunken sex in the limo, after the premiere. He swore that he would ruin you so you would have no chance for a normal life of your own. He wanted me with Charlotte, and for us to be a Hollywood golden couple."
"Edward…" I tried to interrupt, but he kept going.
"I couldn't let that happened to you, so I agreed. What you walked in on with Charlotte was staged. We weren't actually having sex. In fact, I know you won't believe me, but we have never had sex. We are just an image for the cameras. We share a house but have separate bedrooms.
When you told me about Peter, I was scared of what Demetri would try to do about that. I didn't want either of you dragged into that mess. That's why I signed my rights away, to protect both of you and I wish I never did. I told myself that after my contract ran out that I would find you and explain all this. I knew I had lost any chances with you, but I was still hoping to be able to see my son." A few tears escaped from his eyes.
"Edward, you should have told me the truth back then," I exclaimed in shock.
"If I had, I know you would have disagreed to break things off because of his threat." He sighed.
"Of course I would've because he had nothing to back up his threat. We never had limo sex. If you remember or I guess you don't — I wasn't drunk that night. I was paranoid Charlie would find out that I had been drinking and chickened out. We made out, and you groped me above my clothing, but that was it in the limo. We didn't have sex until the hotel room," I explained.
Edward flushed and looked as if he was going to be sick.
He leaned forward and put his head in his hands. He shook his head muttering to himself and pulled at his hair.
I slid off my seat and knelt at his side. "Edward, are you okay?" I touched his knee.
He looked up and his face was wet with tears. "No, Bella, I'm not okay. I never hated myself more than at this moment. I lost the love of my life, and I have missed everything with my son. And now I'm going to lose him without getting to know anything about him except that he likes Peter Pan, and he's about to lose his life way too early. If I could, I would give him my heart without a second thought, right now, so that he could live."
"You're here now, and it means the world to him. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very angry with you, and I hate that you made these decisions without me, but, nevertheless, I don't hate you, and I understand that, in some crazy way, you were trying to do what you thought was best." I rubbed his leg and gave his knee a small squeeze before I stood.
I grabbed the tissue box off the little table and handed them to Edward, after taking one myself.
"Why didn't you just leave if you hated it so much?" I asked.
"I'm still tied to the contract. It ends after the premiere of my movie next month. Jasper is now my primary lawyer. That was why I was there today, for him to look at my old contract. Once I'm free, I'm leaving for good. I want to find somewhere quiet and hopefully go unnoticed for a while. That's when I was hoping to find you, and tell you everything. I was shocked to see you there today. Even more shocked when Jasper told me about Peter." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I tried to give you child support, but you rejected the offer."
"I don't recall that, at all." I would've remembered if he had tried to reach out.
"Through my mom. But they told me that you rejected their offers and wouldn't take it," he explained.
"I thought they were pitying me. They have never even visited him once, except after he was first born. Your father didn't seem to think Peter was yours, and you just felt guilty. He insinuated too that I was after your money. I didn't take it because I didn't want them to think they were right." I admitted.
"What about Charlotte?" Curiosity got the better of me.
"I told you, she is nothing to me. She only followed me because wants me to sign a new contract with Demetri. She also wants more time as Hollywood's golden couple. I want nothing to do with her anymore. I sent her packing when I found out that she never told me that you called. If she told me, and I knew about Peter, I would've come earlier." Edward scowled.
We sat in silence for what seemed like hours before he spoke again.
"Would you tell me about him, Bella?"
"He was born on April first. When I called Emmett to tell him I was in labor, he thought I was playing a joke on him. It took me a full five minutes to convince him the baby was coming. The doctor found his heart defect with his initial check-up. Nothing had showed up on any ultrasound during my pregnancy." I paused. I wanted Edward to know Peter beyond him being sick, so I changed tracks.
"Peter was a sweet baby — always good natured despite being sick. He loves playgrounds that have climbing structures, and he loves to go to the zoo — the alligators and crocodiles are his favorite. His love of Peter Pan came early and was probably from Emmett's encouragement. He used to fly Peter in the air over his head calling him Peter Pan. He refuses to call Rosalie by her nameand insists that she is really his Wendy. She is very sweet with him and plays along.
For Halloween this past year, he was well enough for trick or treating. So we went as characters from Peter Pan. Emmett dressed as Captain Hook, Rose was Wendy. Alice and Jasper joined us. Alice dressed as Tinkerbell; she somehow convinced Jasper to be Peter — tights and all." I snickered at the memory.
"Then who did Peter dress as?" Edward asked with a confused look, a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
I laughed before answering. "We kept a secret from Emmett until that night. He thought Peter was going to be Peter Pan. However, Peter wanted to be Tick-Tock Crock. He chased Emmett around the neighborhood in his costume. I never heard him laugh as hard as he did that night."
Edward chuckled. "I wish I could see a video or pictures of that. It sounds like Emmett has been great with him."
"I couldn't have asked for a better big brother. Emmett has been my lifesaver. Charlie helps when he can, but Emmett has been there for us every step of the way. Rose too." I smiled and wiped a tear from the corner of my eye.
"He probably wants to kick my ass." Edward grimaced.
"He's definitely someone you may want to avoid while you are here." I nodded.
"No. No more running; I'll talk to him when he gets here and tell him the truth, too." Edward shook his head.
"So Peter knows that…" He trailed off looking uncomfortable.
"He understands as best we could explain to a four-year-old. We tried to make it sound as simple as possible so it wouldn't be scary for him. Emmett came up with the idea that he would be going to Neverland to be a little boy forever. We hoped it would make the transition easier for him." My tears started to fall faster.
I felt myself start to break down as I became overwhelmed by everything. "Oh, God, I can't lose him, he's all I have in this world." I began to sob uncontrollably.
Edward jumped out of his seat and rushed to my side. He lifted me, so that he could he sit. He pulled me into his lap and wrapped me in his arms as we cried holding on to each other — for all that could've been and all that we would never have.
TN
Two months later:
I stood in the doorway of the hospital room looking in on the sleeping patient. I had grown to hate this hospital with a passion. I had far more unpleasant experiences than good behind these doors.
Peter never woke from his nap that day Edward came back. He slipped into a coma and passed away two days later.
It hit Edward hard that he wasted so much time, that he only got about ten minutes with his son. On the day he won an Oscar — we buried Peter, and Edward spiraled out of control and into a deep depression that resulted in alcohol and drug abuse.
At his last premiere a month ago, he showed up drunk on the red carpet. I watched his downfall on TV as he went on a rant calling Charlotte a whore that slept with anything with a cock, and how he was glad he never touched her. He went on to say he was glad he didn't have to put up with his farce of a life anymore. With a big fuck you to Demetri and the movie studio that discovered him, and then ruined his life, he claimed he was over and done with the movies, and with Hollywood.
A few days ago, Edward was found in his new apartment in Seattle unconscious. Jasper received a strange call from him and headed over to investigate. Edward was rushed to the hospital, where his stomach had been pumped — it had been full of pills and alcohol.
My eyes landed on him as he began to move. His eyes blinked open and after a moment settled on me.
"Bella?" he croaked.
He blinked again trying to focus.
"I've spent so much time sitting in these bedside chairs praying for the person in the bed, but sometimes I wonder if my prayers have fallen on deaf ears," I lamented.
"Bel…" I cut him off.
"No. I don't want to hear your excuses. You will listen to me, Edward Anthony Cullen," I snapped.
"What the fuck were you thinking, trying to end your life? If Jasper didn't get to you in time, I would be screaming at your headstone right now, instead of a hospital bed." I stood up and started pacing.
"You're wasting your life away, and I'm not going to stand by and let you. You need to get some help. I'm hurting too, you know. He was my baby and I love him so much that it hurts to even breathe, and I don't know if I will ever be normal again. Everything is a reminder of him. There are days I don't feel like getting out of bed, but I do because I know I can't live my life that way. I owe it to Peter to live my life as best as I can because I can. I wasn't born with a heart that killed me before I made it to five. And you owe him the same thing." I demanded.
Edward flinched and shook his head in resignation. "I can't," he whispered hoarsely.
"You can." I stopped by his side. I held his right hand in both of mine. "Do it for Peter, Edward. He wouldn't want you to live this way or for you to kill yourself. If you want to make things up to your son, then get better. Do something with your life to make him proud."
He looked up at me and swallowed audibly. I could see in is green eyes that he was still lost and unsure.
"Please, Edward. Do this for Peter. Do this for yourself. I'll be there for you if you want me. You won't have to go through this alone." I begged. "Don't leave me, too."
TN
Five years later:
I knelt in the soft grass in front of the tombstone and carefully brushed the dirt away that had gathered over the course of the winter months. My fingers traced over the letters and the two stars engraved into the stone.
Peter Anthony Swan
April 1, 2007 – February 28, 2012
Off To Neverland
"Look who woke up and wants to meet her brother." Edward knelt next to me on the grass.
Edward and I got married two years ago. We took it slowly, day by day. We went to counseling together to work through our past mistakes and guilt. We still had our ups and downs, and I had a problem with trust in the beginning. However, today I could say with certainty that our relationship was stronger than ever.
Our nine-month-old daughter, Jane, reached out for me. She had my brown eyes, but Edward's bronze hair. She was born perfectly healthy, and had her daddy wrapped around her little fingers.
"Hi, sweetie, did you want to meet your big brother." I kissed the top of her head.
"Jane, this Peter. Peter, this is your little sister, Jane." I introduced the two and wiped a tear from my eye. "Today is Peter's birthday, can you say Happy Birthday, Jane?" I encourage her even though I knew she couldn't understand.
She blew a raspberry, reached out and patted the stone with her chubby little hand.
Edward chuckled and then sniffled. "Happy Birthday, Son. I hope you're having a great day in Neverland fighting the pirates."
"Happy Birthday, Baby," I whispered kissing my fingers then placing them over his name. I closed my eyes trying to hold back my tears.
"Ma Ma ama" Jane patted my cheeks with a frown.
"Mommy is okay, little girl," I promised.
"Are you still up for the park?" Edward asked hesitantly.
I nodded. Emmett and Rose were expecting us to meet them. They now had two boys of their own. Edward and Emmett's relationship was still strained, but getting better.
"You want to go to your brother's park?" Edward asked Jane; she cooed her response.
He stood up and then offered his hand to me. He pulled me to him and then kissed me sweetly on the lips. He laced our fingers together, and our hands swung lightly between the two of us as we walked back to our car.
After he was released from rehab, Edward had a park built in our hometown and named it Peter's Neverland.
The park attracted visitors from miles around and became popular very quickly. I had never seen such a place. There's a huge pirate's ship structure with rope ladders, slides, swings, planks, steering wheel, and even a crow's nest. A treehouse made from a real-looking fake tree that is hollow inside so kids could walk around through the rooms.
Close by was another area of zip lines with an artificial mote underneath where a large animatronic alligator lived. And in the summer, there was a mermaid's lagoon that had a couple of inches of water with sprinklers; just enough to get wet in and cool off. A small plaque was by the park entrance dedicating it to Peter, and telling his story.
Peter would have loved it, but we take solace in the belief that our son has already found his Neverland.
A/N: Jane's name was influenced from Peter Pan 2: Return to Neverland. She was Wendy's daughter.