Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the computer I typed this chapter on, much less having anything resembling rights to Naruto and To Love-Ru.

AN: This is the first story that I have published on this site (or any other site for that matter). Please don't be gentle with your criticisms and/or flames. I welcome any and all negative and/or derogatory remarks as I am a masochist. So please, tell me how much you hate my story. The more the better. (Reverse psychology ftw! Suckers). And now onto the story.

Chapter 1: In which Characters are Introduced, and how they Heck they ended up where ever they are explained

Rito Yuuki woke up early that morning for once. And as soon as he did, he knew what he was going to do that day. Confess to Haruna-chan of course. For real this time! Nothing would stand in his way today. Not even those weird situations that he was told always happen and interrupt him whenever he tries to confess to Haruna. They were probably suffering from hallucinations when they told him that anyway. Imagine, from runaway elephants to falling flowerpots materializing over his head. What they won't think of next.

Rito looked like the average high school student. He was sixteen years old and about average height. His eyes were brown with a slight yellow hint to them and his hair, about his only truly unusual feature, was a light orange and usually messy. Currently he had a determined look in his eyes because he knew, he just knew, that he would succeed in confessing to Haruna today. And that was all it took to make it the best day in his life. So with an uncustomary enthusiasm he went about his morning routine and finished in record time. He was just about to eat a quick breakfast and rush down to school, not really caring that it was too early, when he realized that Naruto was still sleeping.

Naruto Yuuki, was sixteen years old and attended Sainan High School, just like Rito (they were even in the same class), but that was practically where almost all similarities ended. He was somewhat tall for his age, standing almost a head and shoulders taller than most of his peers, and had thick spiky hair that was a bright yellow. His cerulean eyes were often filled with warmth and cheer no matter the situation. In addition to that he had three whisker-like marks on each cheek, giving him a somewhat wild, almost vulpine look (especially when he smiles in a particularly mischievous way). All in all, he cut an impressive figure and was recognized as ideal boyfriend material by most of the female population in Sainan High. Well make that most of the female population in all the schools in the district, but you get the idea. As a result he was treated with contempt by most of the males except for Rito and a few others.

Rito could still clearly remember the day that Naruto literally fell out of the sky into their backyard. Well he was in a spaceship at the time so thankfully it didn't cause any permanent damage to him (Naruto). When the spaceship had landed (crashed) in a surprisingly small crater, Rito was the first one there since he was looking at the stars and thinking about Haruna, again, and noticed the fireball heading straight for his location. Long story short, Rito went in after a hatch opened, found a barely conscious Naruto who only told him his name, and then muttered something incomprehensible about electromagnetic fields, and then he (Naruto) fainted on the control panel of the ship. Rito then noticed something counting down and decided to high tail it out of there, taking an unconscious Naruto with him. They were barely out of the ship when it suddenly rose into the air and just disappeared with a burst of speed heading god knows where. When Naruto woke up again, he had amnesia for a while. But he got better though, and ever since then Naruto had been living with them. Thankfully, though he could speak the same language as them and had relatively no trouble fitting in.

Anyway, it was rare for Naruto to sleep in. He was usually the first one up and normally exercised for an hour till dawn, and then he would help out with the chores. This morning though, there was none of the telltale grunts of exertion that usually filled the backyard as Naruto did a totally insane workout regimen (Might Gai Style – guaranteed to stoke the Flames of YouthTM (Naruto's words, not his)). Deciding that the blond may just be really tired, he went down to breakfast, and found his little sister, Mikan Yuuki, just starting to cook breakfast.

Mikan was an extremely cute twelve year old girl with soft brown eyes and dark brown wavy hair that she wore loose down to her mid back except for a small pineapple-like tuft on top of her head. She was quite mature for her age, and had a quiet, somewhat cynical demeanour. She had seemingly entered puberty, as was seen by her rapidly developing figure. In a few years Rito and Naruto would definitely have their hands full keeping boys away from her. It was Mikan who took care of Naruto after Rito rescued him from the spaceship and insisted that he stay with them from then on. During that time she developed a massive crush on him, due to his kind and gentle, yet strong personality. Of course, both boys were totally unaware of this fact.

"Morning, Mikan. What's for breakfast?"

"Oh, morning Rito. You're up early for once. We'll just be having some toast and eggs this morning. I have to go to school early this morning and don't really have time to prepare anything much."

"Oh, okay. Well I'll help you out then. I'll handle the cooking this morning. Why don't you get ready for school?"

"Thanks. Kinda shocking that you're doing this, but thanks. I guess I'll just have to take what I get," Mikan drawled out in a bored tone.

"You don't have to put it like that," Rito complained and then turned to where the pan was heating on the cooker, and then spoke as an afterthought, "Oh and make sure you wake up Naruto, too. He overslept this morning. I guess those girls must've really tired him out yesterday afternoon."

"What!?," Mikan almost shouted, her face slowly going red as all sorts of indecent thoughts flowed through her mind.

"I said Naruto overslept, so go wake him up."

"No, what did you say after that," she hissed out.

"Those girls must've really tired him out yesterday…?" Rito squeaked, err… replied in a steady voice, recognizing that uber-pissed off expression on her face. Mikan was slow to get angry, but a real harpy straight out of hell when that happened.

"…"

"Umm… Mikan? Is everything okay?" Rito started waving his hand in front of her face, as she seemed frozen. "Hello. Helllooo? Is anyone here?"

Rito was seriously starting to get scared of Mikan right now. He considered knocking on her head like a door for a few moments, but was afraid that she would just bite his hand off. Just as he was about to beat a tactical retreat to the safety of the cupboard under the sink, Mikan snapped out of the trance she was in, the sweetest smile he had ever seen frozen on her face and an aura that just positively reeked of sunshine, butterflies and death. Damn it. I'm going to die! I'm going to die! I'mgoingtodie!

"Why, Rito. Whatever is the matter? You look like you have seen someone that would like nothing but slapping the heck out of a few girls that dared trespass on that previously mentioned someone's territory. Ufufufu. What a delightful idea. I'll be right back. Naruto-kun has some explaining to do. Ufufufu." And with that she turned and positively skipped out of the room, still laughing creepily.

"Oh God. I'm alive. I'm alive! I thought I was really going to die there," Rito panted as he just collapsed in a heap on the floor. "And I thought that today would be a really good day, too. It can't possibly get any worse at this point in time."

Then the pan that was left on the cooker promptly burst into flames. After staring at the flaming pan for a few seconds, he just returned to lying on the floor, "Yep, nothing can get any worse. I just hope that Naruto survives."

Speaking about said previously amnesiac blond haired alien, he was sound asleep and was unaware of what terror was currently heading for his bedroom. On a related but somewhat different note, said room was opposite Mikan's. Originally it was two rooms away, right next to Rito's room, but somehow everything inside wound up mysteriously teleporting to the other room, Mikan denied all knowledge of this, and thus the matter was dropped.

He was having a really weird dream. What the dream entails is for another story, since it would take far too long and would probably mentally scar anyone not prepared for it. Suffice to say though, whether it was related to the dream or not, he was currently moaning as if in pain and embarrassment, and was moving around in bed a lot, causing the bed to creak a lot. As a result of all this he was quite tangled up in his sheets and covered in sweat. And he was fast asleep.

Mikan was currently walking to her adopted brother's room and was preparing to give him an inquisition he would never forget, and then go hunting for some unwanted competition, until she got to his door. She was about to knock, when the muffled sound of Naruto moaning in what seemed to extreme pleasure to her came through the door. The red blush on her cheeks immediately morphed and covered her entire face as she immediately pressed her right ear to the door to hear better. Some blood slowly leaked from her nose as her mind went into overdrive with perverse fantasies no one so young should have. Any thoughts of scolding fled as her hand slowly reached for the door knob, and immediately turned when she heard the bed creaking suspiciously. She later would try to tell herself that she just wanted to stop whatever she thought was going on, but what she really wanted was to catch him in a perverted moment to blackmail him into doing 'things' to her.

She was disappointed, but not too much, when she saw that he was still soundly sleeping with the sheets wrapped around his lower body leaving his bare upper body on display (he slept with only a pair of shorts). She took a minute taking mental pictures for later 'enjoyment' and really wished for a moment that she somehow had red eyes with weird comma markings that would let her memorize anything that she saw, but that moment quickly passed as she had the unusual thought that she would somehow turn into an emo of ridiculous proportions if she did get it. Nothing was worth that.

She audibly gulped as she slowly took in his incredibly toned athletic form that was glistening in the morning sun with a light coating of sweat. Her face grew even hotter as her thoughts grew progressively more perverted in nature. Even now, she could hardly believe that this situation was happening. It seemed as if Naruto had been with them for years, even though he crashed into their backyard a mere 2 years before. She can remember it as if it were yesterday.

Flashback – 2 Years Ago

Naruto's Arrival to Earth – Mikan Perspective

It was a great night – not too warm, not too cold. The stars were shining surprisingly bright considering all the lights from the houses around them. There was hardly any disturbing noise too, just regular night sounds. They had just finished dinner, take-out, again, since she was just learning to cook and Rito was just too clumsy at times to help. She was cleaning up the kitchen from the disastrous mess that was Rito's latest attempt at cooking. Rito insisted that he helped since he caused the mess, but she already foresaw more work for her when his clumsy luck would start to play, so he was banished into the backyard until she finished.

She found herself reflecting back on their household situation and couldn't help but sigh a bit sadly. Their father was a mangaka and was hardly home. Mostly he was just goofing off and wasting time at his office and then subsequently spending all-nighters trying to finish his manga on time. Their mom was a fashion designer and was on tours most of the time. Not that they were neglected, per say, it was just that she sometimes wished they would all be able to live in one house all the time. Having Rito and her live alone for a couple of days, and then eventually weeks when it looked like they could handle it, caused her to grow up remarkably fast.

When she was about halfway cleaning up the kitchen – honestly, who else could make a pan catch on fire, the gas wasn't even turned on– she took pity on Rito and went to call him back into the house. She found him lying flat on the grass just looking up at the stars almost half asleep with a faraway look on his face. She immediately grew an impish grin and was about to tease him about dreaming about his precious Haruna-chan, but decided to let him be for tonight. He had a lot on his plate already. And besides, he didn't know that she knew about his crush, that was blackmail material for another day.

She purposefully stomped on the step leading down to the yard a little hard though. Just so he won't be startled if she just came up to him out of nowhere. Not because she was feeling somewhat vindictive because of the mess he made in the kitchen. Not at all.

Rito jumped a little when he heard a sharp stomp behind him, but calmed down when he saw it was just Mikan. He returned to his previous position looking at the stars. He glanced to his left when he saw Mikan came up beside him, but didn't say anything, not wanting to provoke her since she looked a little mad still.

"Hey, Rito. You can come in now."

"Ok. I'll stay out here a bit though. It's such a great night I don't want to waste it. I don't know when I'll get the chance again."

Mikan didn't say anything, she just turned her gaze up to the stars.

"Heh, we used to do this a lot when we were younger, didn't we?" Mikan suddenly murmured. "Too bad we didn't get the chance to stay out too late though."

"Yeah. I think I remember someone being afraid of the dark though," Rito smirked.

"T-that was just one time. And I didn't know that there was a cat there!" Mikan retorted with a red face. "Anyway, since Mom and Dad aren't here all the time, I guess it would be okay to do something like this every once in a while."

"True. I don't mind. And it's not like I have anything to do anyways," Rito replied, having realized that Mikan must've been feeling a little lonely. "You remember how we sometimes made wishes when we saw a shooting star?"

"Um. But I think we none will ever come true, since we kept telling each other what we wished for," Mikan replied with a nostalgic smile on her face.

Rito just smiled and returned his gaze to the sky, having turned to face his sister when they were talking. After a few moments he noticed one shining exceptionally bright, and then remarked to Mikan, "Hey, Mikan? How bout we both make a wish on this star. You know, for old times' sake."

"Um. That would be nice. But make sure you don't tell me what you wish for and I won't tell you, too."

"Ok. It's a deal. Let's close our eyes and do it on the count of three, alright?"

"Um!"

They both looked at the star one last time, closed their eyes, Mikan absently noting that it seemed even bigger than before, and then Rito started the count.

"One."

"Two."

"Three!"

CRASH!

Flashback End

She was startled out of her memories by Naruto having turned fully onto his back, before he had his lower body awkwardly turned to his left, away from Mikan, with his upper body lying haphazardly on his bed. Unfortunately, or fortunately (if you could hear the thoughts in Mikan's mind, damn she's one naughty girl), that meant his morning wood was now in full view of her. Actually, not in full view, since he was wearing shorts, and even then his lower body was still covered with his blanket. But that didn't stop Mikan's eyes from automatically zeroing in on the tent that was made. She would never admit it, but she had an extreme case of tunnel vision that morning, with the focus being everything Naruto.

She was left frozen in place and could only watch in unabashed fascination as Naruto started walking up, having sensed someone watching him. His muscles were rippling in glorious sequence as he started stretching away the stiffness of sleeping. He gave a huge yawn that exposed his pearly white teeth, and she noticed that his canines somehow seemed sharper than before. After that, he rose to a half sitting position with his back against the headboard of the bed, and turned with half open eyes towards the door where he felt the intense stare that woke him up.

Mikan couldn't even move when she felt his piercing gaze zero in on her position. She felt mortification to a high degree. Oh, what this must have looked like to Naruto. A girl was in his room just staring at him while he was sleeping. He probably could feel the heat radiating from her face, and now that she noticed, was panting rather heavily. All in all, she must've looked like a really creepy pervert at the moment. She just wished she could have died there and then.

Naruto must've noticed that Mikan was uncomfortably red and panting, and came to the incorrect conclusion that she must have been incredibly sick. He immediately vaulted out of bed and started to walk to his precious baby sister. She must really be sick! She had this glazed out of her eyes look as well…

Poor Naruto, he didn't realize that his baby sister wasn't so little anymore, and was in fact, having extremely x-rated thoughts regarding him. If he had known, he would've at least covered himself better when going to her side. As it was, Mikan had a front seat view of Naruto running towards her with his erection swaying in front of him like an air traffic controller was waving one of those glowing stick things. She her nose promptly exploded in a torrent of blood that propelled her to the hallway where she collapsed in a faint with an extremely perverted smile on her face. Yeah, she's a total brocon, not that Naruto would realize it.

Scene Change - On the way to school

Naruto Yuuki sighed as he hurriedly made his way to school. All night he was getting foreboding chills down his spine and subsequently he hardly slept a wink until the early morning. He learned to trust his gut instincts since he was small, and they rarely failed him, if ever. No, he was going to be on the alert and face this new threat head on. Too bad he didn't realize that his tribulations would start from the time he woke up in the form of his little sister. After he cleaned up the surprisingly large amount of blood, he carried her to her room and waited till she woke up. Though she just took one look at his concerned eyes and half naked form and promptly fainted again. That was an ordeal all of itself. He eventually got her coherent enough to tell him that no, she wasn't sick, and that yes, she would be able to go to school today. With that sorted out he headed out to school after making sure that she was fine. And that was just the morning. He couldn't wait to see what his day would be like today. He just wished that all the aliens would just give up and give him at least a month of relative peace on Earth.

That's right. Naruto Yuuki was in fact Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze, an alien that crashed onto Earth after the entire Elemental Solar System was blown up by a madman wanting to be King of the Universe. The fact that said madman, one Madara Uchiha, was native to his own planet, Konoha, and that he, Naruto, was the only son of the legendary Namikaze Minato and Kushina Uzumaki, the unofficial leaders of the Elemental System just made it worse. Of course, normally, he would have been left alone, seen as just a normal refugee, but the Elemental System was the only sector of space that could claim to stand up to the combined might of the entire Deviluke army, the so called King of the Universe, Gid Lucion Deviluke himself and all his allies, kick their collective asses with minimal casualties and still make it home before a twelfth of the standard planetary revolution (normally known as a month). The fact that they had done this on three separate occasions has driven the point home and so they were left alone. Until their home blew up.

And now he had a bounty on his head, not for his death (most of the time), but for his capture for use in the political arena. He was viewed as an extremely valuable tool there. But nowadays, only the only particularly brave or foolish assassin dared to trifle with him. Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze didn't kill you (sometimes). No, he pulls embarrassing pranks of such caliber that you wish that he would kill you, and to add insult to injury, he records it all and posts it all on the Universal Wide Web. Why, he even used to have his own reality show where he would prank the bejesus out of his would be kidnappers. He had it under a different name of course. But after a couple hundred instances of this, they finally got a hint and were very wary of him. Those were some good times.

He was brought out of his fond reminiscing by catching sight of his brother Rito Yuuki stalking his crush, Haruna Sairenji, again. And promptly started remembering again. Before he was able to escape from the destruction of his home, he had used too much of his power and somehow had reverted to an amnesiac childlike state. And after crashing onto earth, he was found by the Yuuki family and they took him in and he was raised alongside Rito and his sister Mikan. He however, couldn't go to school normally with them, namely because of two scarlet fox like ears on his head and a fox tail of the same color as the ears and as a result he had to be home schooled. However, his memories gradually started returning when he entered puberty, and he was able to conceal his foxy appendages with illusions and go to school.

Naruto could only sigh as he looked at the somewhat pathetic scene. Rito had been in love with the beautiful girl ever since he had seen her, and since then he had been trying to confess to the girl but apparently someone up there is using him for their eternal amusement, because some of the weirdest things would happen to him every time he was about to confess. The fact that the shy blue haired girl was somewhat smitten with his brother wasn't lost on Naruto, but it would require a serious miracle to get them together.

"You know you're going to be arrested one of these days if you carry on like this all the time," casually said Naruto, after he had sneaked up behind Rito, not that it was very hard to do when he was it that state.

"GAAAH! Naruto, how many times do we tell you to stop doing that?" Rito yelled clutching his heart.

"I stopped counting after the first two, to tell you the truth."

"What do you mean two? I stopped counting after 500."

"Really, it had been that many? Huh, who knew? Anyways, don't you think that you're supposed to be quiet when you're doing this sort of thing?"

"Shit, you're right," Rito replied after covering his mouth, but after looking around Haruna had already passed their location. "And what do you know about stalking? You've never stalked anyone in your life; it was actually the other way around, if I remember correctly."

And that was sadly true, for Naruto at least. Naruto had a lot of admirers once he had finally started going to public school for his excellent grades, athleticism, and amazing good looks. His fan club soon started to stalk him and in the process disrupt his life, and that became too troublesome for him to deal with. He then personally went and talked (threatened) to a lot of them after they had managed to ruin his fourteenth birthday party. The party wasn't that big of a deal, but they made Mikan cry because all of her hard work had gone to waste, and after that all gloves were off. Nobody made his sister cry without some form of retribution.

Rito and Mikan didn't know what went on in the meeting, but after two hours his fans were seen leaving various expressions on their faces. Some of them had slack, white faces, like they had just escaped death, others looked like they would burst out laughing any minute, a few were sad, and others had thoughtful looks on their faces. But most interesting to them (for Mikan, at least), was twin trails of blood leading to their nostrils and hearts in the eyes of almost all of the females (and some of the males too). Mikan went into a fit and almost mauled some of them for she thought they did to her nii-chan, but fortunately for them, Naruto was able to save them from her wrath. However, his fan club stopped bothering him so much and he actually became friends with a lot of members. On a different note, because Naruto wouldn't tell her what happened, he had to take her shopping, and then a dinner and a movie, and then he had to let her play with his foxy parts for the next day. Though she was oddly adamant that he was to be clad in only shorts for that entire day.

Shaking his head to rid himself of the memories, Rito noticed that Naruto was waving his hand in front of his face.

"Sorry about that. I was just caught up in some memories," he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head, a habit he picked up from Naruto.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I was remembering some things when I was walking here too."

"You too? That's kinda weird isn't it?"

"Not really, it just means that the story can finally start in earnest."

"Huh, what was that?"

"Ah, nothing of importance. Oh, look at the time; we're going to be late at this rate. Let's go!" Naruto exclaimed and promptly started running towards to the school at human speed, not at his normal (meaning natural and unhurried) speed, mind you. No need to see what adverse environmental impacts travelling at Mach 5 would cause so early in the morning. That was the reason he had sealed the majority of his power away after all.

Rito quickly caught up to him while doing an all out sprint, and noticed that Naruto wasn't even showing the slightest bit of exertion. While no slouch himself, as he was the fastest member on the track team and a prominent member of the soccer team, Rito knew he could never hope to beat Naruto in speed, or strength, or intelligence, or almost anything really. But he didn't mind, mostly because Naruto never got arrogant or boastful of his powers. Naruto was actually a pretty 'down to earth' guy, which he pointed out as really ironic since he wasn't even from earth in the first place.

"Whoo! Good job, Rito. You're keeping up with me even with your training seals activated. I see we're going to have to up your training regimen when we get home from school."

"Naruto, don't talk about things like that here. Wait till we're alone at least."

"Yeah. Yeah. Sheesh, no one's around anyway."

"I know that. But it never hurts to be safe. Never know when one of those weird bounty hunters or assassins would target me again. No need to give them another reason," he grumbled, but then noticed that Naruto had stopped paying attention and just entering the building.

"Hey, wait up you troublesome bastard! I'm still talking to you!" he yelled, springing to catch up to Naruto who continued to ignore him much to his consternation.

Scene Change – After School

Rito was performing his daily ritual. He was gathering his courage to confess to his beloved Haruna-chan, again, but ended up remembering all that he went through because of this. Namely, taking a soccer ball literally out of nowhere to the face, flower pot literally out of nowhere to the head, truck out of somewhere to his body and a herd of elephants literally out of Africa to his back.

"Also you have to remember that time a mob of my fan-girls ran over you to get to me, I ran over you to get away from them, I ran over you to get to eat Mikan's ramen, Mikan ran over you to get to me because I accidentally left my foxy bits out and a lot of things that I'm sure I'm forgetting."

"Yeah… Wait a minute! When did you get here? And how did you know what I was thinking about? And how come all those things you mentioned have to deal with you in some way? Are you deliberately planning some of these things just to have some fun with my plight?" Rito asked, narrowing his eyes at a Naruto, who for some reason started whistling innocently and looking to the side.

" Well to answer your questions in chronological order, a minute ago, you always have this stoned out of this world look when you think of anything remotely concerning Sairenji-san and a really depressed look when you think about all your failures at wooing said strumpet, which makes a really weird and somewhat funny look now that I think about it. Kinda like how a depressed stoner or a stoned Ryoga would look, though I gotta wonder, how a stoner could ever be depressed, and Ryoga, well if there's ever a guy that ever needed some opium, morphine or just plain LSD…"

And there he went again. Rito just couldn't understand how Naruto can just ramble on and on about some of the weirdest things that hardly make any sense.

"… and then Ichigo lost his power. I mean, how much time does that make it now? Sure Orihime could probably reject his even losing his power altogether because her power can even bring the freaking dead back to life, but no, just had to go with the plot…"

And he could also wind up talking about things not even related to the plot, er- ahem, not related to the conversation, and still manage to get you even more enraptured as time passes. Personally Rito thought that Naruto does this on purpose because he has some weird fetish of being unpredictable or something. Damn it, now I'm doing it too. Curse you, Naruto!

AN- And that's a wrap. I realise that this entire chapter comes out as forced, both in dialogue and plot. Actually, I don't even have a plot at the moment, just making it up as I go along. But, seriously - criticize the heck out of my writing. I need it. And that's it for me. SenGoKu out! (Because I'm an extreme masochist)