I woke up again to the sound of my dog barking this morning, a morning just like all the others. A morning to start yet another day on the fields. Every day's the same around here. Brush the cows, milk the cows. Feed the cows, feed the chickens. Then collect the eggs and head outside. Day after day in an endless routine. Not like anyone else in this town has it better though. I live in a town of brain dead dullards, every day blends into the rest with them. Sometimes I feel like the only one who notices how repetitive things get around here.
Resigned, and with a sigh, I start the day just as I do every day, with a small meal. If the day's gonna be repetitive, might as well go all the way with it. Chewing my food, I contemplate my state in life. Here I am, owner of the most successful ranch around. Working hard, getting ahead, and yet I've never felt more empty since I began. Oh, at first I was happy as a lark, I couldn't have been more excited. I started from nothing, built this ranch from nothing, with little but enthusiasm to keep me going, but by now I've done all there is to do. It's like a chore. I just want to be done with it.
"Pete, I've heard wild dogs outside. Do remember to remove broken fence posts after it rains." I hear my wife say. I look over to see the same dead smile she always has, and sigh. Does she not remember she'd said the same thing to me the last three days in a row now? Shaking my head, I just resign myself to it.
"Mm." I respond half heartedly. Truly, the sight of my wife just depresses me now. You see, it hadn't taken long for me to lose my drive to keep going with this farm. I had felt it happening as early as my first spring season, and decided that love, some romance might be just the spice I need to bring myself out of the doldrums. Of course, in this village full of brainless nimrods, I knew to keep my expectations low, but there was something about this girl, Ann that set her apart. Unlike the rest, she didn't concern herself much with femininity. She was a driven inventor, a touch smarter than the rest and able to work with her hands. She wasn't some cookie cutter wife, she was her own person.
I felt naturally drawn to her, so I did what I could to win her over. I found her a gift, I brought her the gift. I talked to her in the sun, I talked to her in church. I talked about the same stuff over and over. Day after day in an endless routine. It wasn't fun, but before long it payed off. I proposed not long into autumn and she accepted, just like that, but what happened next, I should've seen coming. On the day of our marriage, that very day, everything I cared about in her was gone. Her hair which she kept in a bun to keep it out of her eyes, she now let down in an effort to keep up her looks. Her work clothes, her jeans and work shirt, now replaced with an elegant dress. She no longer spent much time inventing. She just sat around the house. She wasn't even the same person. At first I thought that it was just because we'd just been married, and that sooner or later, she'd be acting like her old self again, but no. By this point, I don't think she'll ever be the same. She's like some alien.
"Dear, try to think of a name for the baby." Ann interrupts my thoughts once again. I roll my eyes.
"Mhm." I respond again in a half hearted way. I don't even know if that kid's mine. I don't remember doing anything like that with her anyway. Whatever. Not like it matters. Maybe a kid to take care of will add some flavor to my life, though somehow I doubt that'll happen. I sigh to myself as I get up from the table. My thoughts had put me in a deeper depression. "Well, Ann, I'm going out to work on the fields. I'll be home late again, so don't wait up." I say, matter of factly. She just stares ahead blankly. Whatever. I'll hand her an egg or something from the henhouse to make it up to her tomorrow. For the person who treated some grapes I found on the ground in the mountains like a home cooked, three course meal, I'm sure she'll gladly accept it.
I walk out the door and get greeted by some birds. Tch. Not like I haven't seen that before. I stop before them just too look out at the field. The rising summer sun illuminates a field full of corn and tomatoes and tall grass. Joy. Another day just like any other. Hoe the land, plant the seeds. Water the crops, harvest the crops. Cut the grass and then start everything all over. Day after day in an endless routine. I just want to be done with it all.
Without much energy, I shamble over to the shed where I keep all my tools. It's always the same. The same tasks in the same order. I just want to be done with it all. Done with this worthless, endless routine life.
Standing before my tools, I fondle the mahogany grip of my sickle. Pure gold from the looks of it. I'll run low on feed if I don't keep up with the grass. You'd think my inventress wife could work on a device to mow this proverbial lawn easier, but alas, she just stands around these days. Any attempts to actually tinker nowadays are so half hearted. "Whatever." I sigh to myself as I grip the handle again and pick up the scythe. A dead reflection stares back at me from the gold tinted reflection. Weary eyes, devoid of the life they'd had when I first arrived on this ranch.
What am I even living for anymore? The ranch? A lightning bolt could strike it down tomorrow, see if I care. The money. If I gave up working today, I'd still have more money than I'd ever need. The wife? Tch. She's dead to me. "I have nothing." I solemnly say to myself as I caress my fingers against the smooth metallic blade of my scythe, staring intently into that dead, lifeless reflection.
Suddenly, I pick up the rounded blade, with a resolve I haven't felt in months and grip it tightly. I grip it tight, so tight my hands felt like breaking. My focus on that blade was so intense, the world went quiet. I could hear little more than my own breathing, I could just feel my lungs expand with each breath. My breathing intensified, as I let myself accept what I'm about to do.
My hands shook, my vision blurred and sweat rushed down my head as I pulled the object yet closer to myself. My fear was mixing with excitement, both emotions I hadn't felt for so long. This was it! This was everything I wanted! My palms sweat, my legs grew weak, but my resolve stood firm. I'm ready. I've never been more ready. With a crooked grin, I let out the words "I'm finally finished!"
Then, in a laser quick moment, I position my hands. One at the handle, and one at the base of the blade as I position the weapon directly at myself. The pointed end of the scythe is now pointed right between my chest, right in my middle. It's not the most practical tool for the job, but it's gonna have to do. With the closest emotion I've felt to joy in some time I push inward with all my strength, keeping the weapon steady with its curvature. The pain was sharp as the object penetrated my body, but I don't care. It dulled quickly anyway, as blood began to spurt from my wound. I shook as I giggled and even laughed from it all.
"I'm free!" I say aloud, an action which sends blood up my throat. Happily, I cough it up onto my hands. Letting go of the sickle lets it tip over slightly, the thing is so poorly balanced, but I don't care. With quickly fading strength, I fall. First to my knees, then quickly flat on my front. This new position forced the scythe into me deeper, but I didn't have much time to enjoy the sensation.
Before long, my vision grew dark, as the life inside me left. Quickly, blackness filled my world. In a way, I was used to that. I hadn't truly seen color in some time. Sound had long since left me, and so too did feeling. I now felt almost as if I were floating, freed from the oppressive world of gravity I'd been trapped in for so long!
The entire process had taken mere moments, and by now it was finally over. I died with a smile on my face. I don't know how Ann reacted. Frankly, I had long since lost the energy to care. Now I can finally say I'm done!
The End
Hi there, all. So, the other day, I decided to try Harvest Moon for the SNES. I liked it at first, but there's not much to do, and the monotony of the title really becomes evident before too long. I gave up before the game was finished. I then came up with the idea of what if the main character got as sick of his life as I got of the game.
I especially like in this one how repetitive the phrasing and structure is before the suicide, compared with after when the pacing and wording really shifts. In that way, it's most similar to my other work, Crossing the Line. Funny how Animal Crossing is also the source material most similar to Harvest Moon in concept and design of anything I've written about. I had originally intended for the suicide portion to be much shorter, but I like how it turned out. Creates a bit more of a climax. So, that's the story with this one. Hope you all like it, and I'll see you next fanfiction.