Harry had been around computers for years when he lived with the Dursleys, but he barely ever used one. But that was about to change. He had gotten a computer for his eighteenth birthday, and Hermione had instantly hooked him up on Facebook.

"What the heck is Facebook?" Harry had asked Hermione in confusion as she typed some stuff into the computer, not taking her eyes off the computer screen.

"Oh, it's loads of fun, you'll love it," Hermione insisted. Harry and Ron just exchanged baffled glances - what possibly could be so fun about something on a computer? - before getting up off the couch to go do something that was actually and play Quidditch.

Turned out, however, that Hermione was once again correct. Facebook was amazing. Harry hadn't been too keen on the idea of broadcasting him and his every activity to the entire world, but now that he had started, he was completely addicted.

Harry woke up a few mornings after his birthday, and the first thing he did after breakfast was run to his computer and see if anything exciting had happened overnight. Nothing had, so he just clicked on his profile page and read it over again.

Name: Harry Potter

Age: 18

Current Location: By my computer

Interested in: Magic, Ginny, my friends Ron, Hermione, Neville, and Luna, getting on Snape's nerves, killing Voldemort, Ginny, Ron's mum's cooking, and Ginny.

Relationship: Dating my beloved Ginny. :D

Harry facepalmed. He had forgotten to mention Quidditch! He spent a few minutes fumbling around the page trying to find the edit button, then proceeded to add "Quidditch" to his list of interests. He saved the change and then looked at his profile page again and nodded, satisfied - much better.

Harry looked at his list of friends - Hermione and Ginny. He frowned. What about Ron? Did he not have a Facebook? Poor bloke...

Harry quickly looked Ron up. Wait, he did have a Facebook! And 590,361 friends... Harry's jaws dropped open. Since when did Ron have more friends than him? That'd have to change and soon...

Harry sent Ron a friend's request, then scrolled through the list of his friends. There was Luna... Padma Patil... Ginny... and J.K. Rowling? Who was J.K. Rowling? That was a strange name, but Harry just brushed it off and checked to see if Ron had sent him a friend request back yet. He hadn't, but Luna had. She also sent him a chat, which made Harry excited. His very first chat!

"Hello, Harry." Luna had sent him.

"Hey, Luna, how are you doing?" Harry could barely type fast enough. His first chat! Ah, the glory...

"I'm alright, thanks. I'm leaving to hunt Crumple-Headed Snorkacks with Daddy tomorrow, and I'm a little sad to be leaving my computer, but oh well. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! That must really stink to have to be parted from Facebook. It's really great, isn't it? And I'm fine, thanks. Waiting for Ron to accept my friend request." Harry sent back.

"Oh, yes, it's lovely. Helps to keep the Wrackspurts away, too. I don't think they like the bright light from the screen." Harry chuckled at Luna's comment. Luna and her magical creatures...

Suddenly, Harry noticed he had gotten a friend request. "Be right back, Ron's finally sent me a friend request back." Harry sent Luna the message and excitedly went to accept Ron's friend request.

His happy, contented expression faded to confusion when he read the name of the person that had sent him a friend request. "Crookshanks?" he muttered to himself in disbelief. Hermione had been walking by him at the moment, and she stopped.

"Sorry, were you talking to me?" Hermione asked Harry. Harry pointed at the screen.

"Did you know your cat has a Facebook account?" he asked. Hermione stared at Harry in shock, then turned and looked at the screen. Her mouth gaped opened in prideful surprise.

"Awww, Crookshanks got a Facebook? My little kitty is growing up so quickly... Oh... Excuse me," Hermione rushed off, trying to suppress her tears. Harry chuckled and accepted the friend's request, then shrugged. Might as well chat Crookshanks while he waited for Ron to accept his friend's request. He typed out a quick message and sent it to the cat.

"Hey, Crookshanks, how's it going?"

The reply came a few minutes later.

"meow"

"Oh, that's good. Are you enjoying Facebook?"

"mew"

"I see... Catch any good rats, lately?"

"meow meow"

Harry facepalmed at the reply as reality hit him. Seriously? He was conversing with a cat? Online? Wow... That fire whiskey the other night had really done a number on him.

"I cannot believe I'm talking to a stupid cat on Facebook..."

"Hagrid's left buttock, how dare you talk to me like that, worthless human?"

Harry gasped and fell out of his chair. Hagrid's left buttock?! How could Crookshanks have known that terrible, terrible swear? And how could he have dared to use it on him? He was Harry freakin' Potter, for Merlin's sake!

"Hermione! Can you come here?" Harry called, shocked, as he warily stood back up, shielding his eyes from the outrageous swear.

"What is it?" Hermione asked crossly as she walked in the room.

"You might wanna see what Crookshanks sent me," Harry pointed at the screen. Hermione walked over and looked at the message. She gasped in horror.

"Hargid's left buttock, where on earth did he learn how that swear?!"

Hope you guys liked this! Sorry if it's inaccurate - somewhat ironically, I've never actually had a Facebook. If I've made any mistakes, I'd appreciate it if someone could correct me.

Thanks for reading! Reviews would make me extremely happy... :3

LadyAthena12