Disclaimer: FMP! is property of many people/companies and created by Shouji Gatoh. This is fanfiction and not for profit.


Sore ga Ai Deshou

Sitting at his desk in his apartment, Sousuke tapped his pencil's eraser against the paper, lost in thought. The fact that he had to write this assignment in English was hardly a problem for him, seeing as how he was more comfortable with that language than with his native Japanese. He just wasn't sure of what to write. Setting down his pencil, he picked up the paper with the assignment written on it, frowning.

Write about the person who you found to be most important in you becoming the person you are, or want to be.

His influence, was it? For the person he was or, the person he wanted to be? There were two people who were major influences on his life. Which should he write about?


"All right everyone, settle down!" Eri clapped her folders on the desk, getting the students' attention. Once she was satisfied, she nodded and pulled out one of the reports, "I went over your reports last night, and everyone did a wonderful job. I want to read this one report out loud to the class, so please, everyone keep quiet." Standing at the podium, she set the sheet down and began reading from it.

There have been two people who have greatly influenced my life, and changed who it is that I am. Of these two, one of them has affected me greater and more deeply than I had ever though any person could. While the first helped me to become who I am today, only the second makes me want to change. To change who I am, to change who I was, though that's not possible, and to seize my future and make it my own. This was something I'd never thought to do before meeting this person.

In as long as I've known this person, I barely recognize myself anymore from when we first met. Back then, I had no reason. I would just carry on in whatever direction I was pointed in, content to allow others to run my life. I didn't want anything for myself, and I did not care if death were to find me. Now, I want to live. I enjoy life, and having another day to spend with this person. I do not like being lead around on a leash any longer. I have things I want now, things I'll work to get no matter what.

This person showed me that life is worth living, and that goals must be made. My goal now is to continue going forward, to make a life for myself. I would like to be able to be by this person's side my entire life, but perhaps that is unrealistic of me. It's all right, however. I owe this person much, and even if I were to become hated, I would still look out for them. All I care is that they can smile, and all I want out of my future is to continue seeing that expression on their face.

It's strange, to have such thoughts. For me, something like that is uncharacteristic. It shows just how much I have changed, looking back on it, realizing how much I rely on emotion now. Emotions are dangerous, and I had always shoved them aside before. I cannot, where this person is concerned, and even if I could, I don't believe I would want to. I enjoy this feeling, and I hold it close to me.

The person who made me into who am I am, the person who makes me want to continue changing to be someone else… I don't know if I can ever stop disappointing this person, but I aim to try. Perhaps it's just impossible for someone like me, but no matter the odds, no matter the difficulty, I'll continue trying. As long as I can protect that smile.


Standing on the rooftop during the lunch break, Sousuke looked out over the sports fields. He had never expected that the entire class would hear what he had written, though at least it had been kept anonymous. He had been uncharacteristically eloquent on paper, but he had just written what it was he thought and felt. It was too hard, to make a conscious effort on that assignment. He had just allowed the words to flow onto paper, and decided he would accept his grade, whatever it was.

The door to the stairwell swung open and shut, and he didn't have to look to know who had come to join him. He'd recognize those steps anywhere. Lifting a hand to grip the chain-link fence, Kaname followed his gaze thoughtfully, not saying a word. Several minutes passed in silence, and she turned to him with a soft smile, "You wrote that, didn't you?"

He stiffened, though her gentle voice coaxed him into responding truthfully, rather than defensively. Sighing, he nodded his head, breathing out his answer, "Yes."

"And… it was about me. Wasn't it?"

"How did you-."

"I know you, Sousuke." Giggling, she turned around and leaned her back against the fence, smiling up at him. "Besides, you're the only person with good enough English to have written that. Though, I was surprised. It was a lot deeper than anything I would have thought you to write."

He bowed his head, leaning against the fence himself. "I didn't know what to do. So I just wrote what first came to mind."

Kaname made a thoughtful noise, then reached out to gently peel him away from the fence, wanting to see his expression. "I liked hearing it," she whispered.

"I don't even understand it. It's how I feel, I suppose, but I don't know why."

She reached up and caressed his face, smiling at his sharp intake of breath, and she lightly trailed her fingertips along his scar. "I understand."

She understood so much about him that he did not. In Hong Kong, she had explained to him what it was he felt, and even now, she knew so much better than he. He turned a pleading expression on her, wanting to understand himself, "What is it?"

"I think that's what they call 'love.'"