Chapter 1: Roanapur's Big Gig

(Opening A/N: Okay, this is going to be a spin off story to Kill The Gate Of Despair, the lethal duo of Night Raid has come back to Roanapur and it seems that *I* have had one too many tequila shots and got drunk married to Two Hands, so yeah it's a me/Revy pairing since she is my wife legally in Roanapur, yeah, yeah, don't judge me! And she's my alpha waifu in my harem, so here's the premise, Najenda has sent both me and Zack to aid Balalaika and Hotel Moscow from some outside source and it seems that someone was on the verge of taking out all the heads of the crime syndicates and it's up to us to make sure that doesn't even happen, this story is rated M for blood and gore, strong graphic violence, adult language, nudity, use of drugs and alcohol, and for lemons as well, as for the disclaimer...I don't own GATE nor Black Lagoon even though I'm a fan of both series, but they are owned by Rei Hiroe and Takumi Yanai, Daisuke Izuka and Kurojishi. So let's get to the action.)

[Five months after Tatsumi's death...]

It was hard to believe that it has been five months since Tatsumi was killed and we needed to get stronger if we want to bring down Junko and Zorzal, it turned out that Rory was joining us since she was interested in seeing what it'd be like to be in Roanapur.

And to make matters worse, my wife, yes my wife Revy is still here since she doesn't have anything to do anywhere else, it turned out I got stone drunk married to Revy, and I also refuse to sign the divorce papers since I go by the usual saying "It's cheaper to keep her."

I then pulled out a picture of me and Revy and she still had that angry look on her face, and that's what turned me on about her since she's always bitter and shit like that.

"Man, how long has it been since we were last in Roanapur?" I asked putting the photo away.

"About four years, give or take a few months." Zack replied, he was my best man and also Revy's brother-in-law. "Another thing, I bet as soon as we get to Roanapur, I bet your wife will be bugging you to sign the divorce papers." He also added, yeah, she's always bitching about regretting her marriage to me.

"You're married?" Rory asked, and I showed her a picture of me and Revy after we got married.

I then pulled out a wedding band that I kept in my pocket and slipped it onto my second left finger.

"The woman you see there, that's Revy. She's legally my wife, since I got drunk and married at the rip off church." I said laughing.

"And I was his best man at the wedding." Zack added, Rory knew that it was the truth since he was just as smashed as I was.

The ship we rode on made it to the harbor where we entered the most dangerous city in all of Thailand and it had quite the feel like Boston, Roanapur, as soon as we got off the ship we set foot into the city and there were a couple of thugs looking to rob us.

"Give us your money and weapons assholes." The first thug said as he tried to attack us.

Rory then swung her axe and cut down both of the men and luckily no one was around to see Rory do what she did otherwise we'd be hauled off by Watsup.

Just then, I got a call from Balalaika, so I answered the phone and she was the first to say something.

"I heard that you were in town Roman, so did you bring Zack with you?" Balalaika asked, and I turned my phone to my Puerto Rican brother as he said a quick hello to the Russian mob boss.

"Answer your question?" I asked, and she took a smoke from her cigar.

"Very, since your in town, could you stop by Hotel Moscow HQ and we could talk about the mission Najenda gave you further?" Balalaika asked, and it seemed that there was time before we had to meet up with Lagoon Company and my beloved wife.

So we decided to steal a car making sure that we weren't getting caught, Zack pulled out a tool which makes unlocking cars easier as he slid the tool and unlocked the driver's side door then unlocked it, as soon as he got into the car, he began to search for a spare key.

As soon as he found it, he started the car and unlocked the passenger's door as I opened it and tilted the seat so Rory could be able to get into the vehicle as soon as we were in the car, Zack drove us over to Hotel Moscow's mansion.

[Location: Hotel Moscow mansion]

As soon as we arrived, the three of us were greeted by Comrade Sergeant Boris, but he had to disarm us since there was an attempt on Balalaika's life.

"This is nothing personal, but we need to make sure there are no more attempts on Kapitan's life." Boris said, but it seemed that there might be a small issue with Rory, she's the only person who can pick up her axe.

We then followed Boris into Balalaika's office, there we met with the infamous Russian mob boss that is in charge of the Russian crime syndicate in Roanapur along with being the financial backing of Night Raid.

"How nice to see some familiar faces, and a new one as well." Balalaika said as she took another drag from her cigar and looked at the gothic lolita demigoddess.

"So you must be the woman in charge of the finances for Night Raid, by the look in your eye, you could almost be like me." Rory said, and that made Balalaika chuckle.

"So do you have a name little girl?" Balalaika asked, and Zack answered for her.

"Her name is Rory Mercury, and she's a 2,000 year old demigoddess of death."

This just made Balalaika take another puff as she knew that she could possibly try to make a friendship with the demigoddess.

"Why don't we discuss the details of the job over at the Yellow Flag with Lagoon company?" Balalaika suggested, and we all headed over to the Yellow Flag for some drinks and discuss our plans for what we need to do for Balalaika.

[Yellow Flag]

As soon as we got to the Yellow Flag, it seemed that it hasn't changed since the last time we were in Roanapur.

One guy tossed another through a window as we walked in, as everybody was still just like how we remembered, still drinking and having their guns on the table, the four of us walked up to the bar, and the bartender named Bao looked at the three of us.

"We don't serve minors here." Bao said, and Rory leaned in to say something.

"Are you seriously calling me a minor? I happen to be a 2,000 year old demigoddess, and if you really want me to level this place, then I'd suggest you should get us some drinks." Rory said gripping her axe, the patrons were getting antsy, so I suggested to Bao…

"Yo Bao, bottle of tequila and three shot glasses, leave the bottle." I said as Bao grabbed a bottle of tequila and three shot glasses, I pulled out a $100 bill and placed it onto the bar as he held it up into the light to make sure it was real.

"Relax Bao, I wouldn't be caught dead with counterfeit money on me." I added as he gave me the change.

I placed the bills back into my wallet and the coins into my front pocket, Zack poured the tequila and we all had a shot, we decided to play a drinking game known as, "Never have I ever."

The rules are really simple, one person says, "Never have I ever…" then adds to the sentence and if that person did it, they have to take a shot.

"Ready to get skunked?" Rory asked, and we both had our shots ready to go.

*дамы вперед.* [Ladies first.] Zack and said in Russian and in unison.

"Never have I ever, slept with a humanoid." Rory said and we both took a shot of tequila, and I added another shot since I slept with two humanoids, a cat and a dragon.

"We slept with a catgirl by the name of Anastasia Klevorick, and I took another shot since I slept with Grandeeney." I said, and Zack was surprised that I slept with the most beautiful dragonoid in the special region.

"Wait, you slept with Grandeeney?" Zack asked, and I nodded, it was the best sex I have ever had.

"Yeah, she said she wanted her first time to be with me, since most of her kind was either killed or used as sex slaves for Zorzal, and I didn't want her to be given over to Zorzal." I answered, he knew that she was in need of some love since she's the last of her kind.

"Speaking of Anastasia, how is she anyway?" Balalaika asked, and it was a great feeling that we reunited with our beloved Russian neko assassin.

"She's back with us in Night Raid, and I gotta say, I kinda miss her pussy." I said as Zack slapped me upside the head. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Dude, seriously? Grow up." Zack said, then the doors to the Yellow Flag opened and my beloved wife, Revy was standing there with an angry look on her face.

"Alright, I heard that I could find my idiot husband here, anybody seen him?!" Revy barked, she really wanted me to divorce her, but it's gonna be a cold day in hell.

This even shocked Bao, he didn't know that legally here in Roanapur, Revy and I are husband and wife.

"Hey sweetheart, how ya been?" I asked and she just made a beeline for me as she had divorce papers in hand.

"I was wondering when you were going to be here, just sign this." Revy said, and I pulled out a lighter as a sign saying "I refuse to sign any divorce papers." I then set the divorce papers on fire letting her know that I'm not doing it.

"I usually go by a saying when it comes to marriage, 'It's cheaper to keep her.' And if you really want to divorce me that bad, well there's only one thing you need to do, you remember the words, 'Til death do us part?' If you really want a divorce, then kill me." I said, Dutch knew that since I refused to give Revy what she wanted, she was about to draw one of her sword cutlasses with the intent to shoot me, but Rock being the voice of reason decided to step in between me and my murderous wife, with the intent to stop her from an unnecessary kill, he had his arms streched out as he was trying to reason with two hands.

"Revy, listen, if Roman doesn't want to divorce you, it means he still cares about you, I mean he married you because he loved you." Rock said, and he was certain that killing me wasn't going to solve anything.

As soon as Revy was about to take a swing, she got stopped by a beautiful British assassin as she was actually Rock's girlfriend.

"I wouldn't try harming my boyfriend if I were you." The woman said in a British accent, her name is Elizabeth Caldwell, but we usually know her as "Lizzie."

"Are you fucking serious?! Roman still in love with me?!" Revy snapped, and it was true, I still had love for Revy even though we were drunk married, and we also had crazy amounts of sex.

"You're just being typical you Revy, besides, I came here with Zack and Rory since Balalaika has a job for us." I said, we all began to pull up bar stools as we were getting down to the reason why Balalaika asked us to come here.

"I have reason to believe that someone is trying to take out the heads of the major crime syndicates here in Roanapur, the assassins tried to make a move against the Colombians and the Italians, but the Triads are stepping up with their A-game with these assassins, we also found out that they're wearing these." Balalaika said as she handed me a pin, and it had the shape of Monokuma's left eye.

"No doubt about it, the assassins are being hired by none other than the ultimate despair herself, Junko Enoshima." I said, I then showed the pin to both Zack and Rory as they also knew what that meant, she wanted to take over Roanapur as well and bring an end to the crime families, and if Hotel Moscow goes, then we won't have any financial backing for Night Raid.

"What do you propose Balalaika?" Zack asked, and she knew what needed to be done.

"Are you familiar with the saying, 'Sic Vis Pacem Para Bellum?'" Balalaika asked, it was an old saying that we usually follow whenever we go into combat.

"Yeah, 'If you want peace, prepare for war.'" I said as I knew that we were going to war with the mystery assassins of despair.

"We're going to war with these assassins, and we need you to find out who they are and who they're working for." Balalaika added, we knew that Roanapur was going to be our battleground and we needed to find out where the assassins were and take them out.

[To Be Continued...]

(A/N: Well guys, it seems that Junko is stretching her reach for Roanapur as she tries to plunge the world into despair, and she has sent some highly trained assassins to take us out along with the crime bosses, basically if Balalaika goes, then the financial backing of Night Raid goes tits up, so I'm hoping that doesn't happen. You know the drill, and until the next chapter this is the master of chaos, the commander of the legion of corpses, BloodyDemon666 signing off!)