I do not own full metal alchemist or inuyasha, and if you still read these disclaimers, you clearly don't read enough fanfictions. Shame on you.

Roy Mustang. 8:30. morning. Saturday. Roys house. Coffee. Mouth. Yum. You get the point. Roy was sitting at his house at eight thirty in the morning on a saturday. Drinking coffee. It was just a normal average day...when...

Roy sighed waiting for someone to either knock on the door, call on the phone, or burst in through his window. That's what always happened in these stupid fanfics he has to go through everyday. It's always himself falling in love with maria, or him and ed, or him and some other gay pairing, or him and Winry or something stupid like that. Really Roy! What would Riza think! Well you might as well ask her now.

" Hi Roy" Said Riza as she picked up Roys coffee and dumped it on his head. Roy screamed.

" #$! WHAT THE $#!&! RIZA! WHAT THE $#! WAS THAT FOR?" roy screamed.

Riza smiled. She liked to pour hot coffee on Roys head. It was fun! Fun fun fun! Fun fun fun till daddy took the T-bird away! Riza smiled and handed Roy a towel. Roy grabbed it out of her hands and wiped his face off.

" Now Riza, tell me, Just ONE thing. ONE thing...what the bloody hell are you doing in my house?"

Riza smiled even more and sighed a little.

" Roy Roy Roy...Everyday someone needs to dump hot coffee on your head..so...I DID!"

" Get out."

" Pardon me?"

" GET OUT!":

Riza screamed in horror and jumped out Roys window. Roy was NOT having a good day today. And it was only 8:34 in the morning. At that moment, Roy smelled a strange burning smell.

" What the-?"

Roy then instantly remembered the muffins he was cooking in the oven. Roy ran into the kitchen and saw his oven on fire.

" OH NO! THE MUFFINS WILL BURN!" screamed Roy as he despreatly tried to put out the fire by blowing on it. This...well...this didn't really work out as planned. So, Roy ran to the sink, filled up a bucket with water, and poured the water onto the fire.

The flames slowely dissapeared. Roy sighed with relief but then he remembered the muffins. Roys eyes bugged and he screamed about muffins.

Meanwhile, next door...

Roys neighbor, Mr.gerbil-face looked up from his newpaper. Ugh. What a terrible neighborhood Mr. Gerbil-face lived in.

" Why do I have to live next door to a crazy guy who yells about muffins? And the person aross the street is yelling about pigs! I've gotta move out." Mr. Gerbil-face said.

Meanwhile back at Roys house,

Roy ripped the top off of his stove, reached his hands in, and pulled out the flaming hot muffin tray.

" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Roy screamed. Roy instantly dropped the muffin tray and ran to the sink. He turned on the cold water and stuck his hands under it. No use! His hands still hurt madly and now there were huge red lumps all over his hands!

Roy screamed some more and eventually began to roll on the floor in agony. He began to scream and put his hands in his mouth at the same time.

" HELP! OH GOD, SOMEONE HELP ME! MY HANDS! MY HANDS!"

And, as if on cue, an ambulance drove into his kitchen, and Roy was hauled away in it.

Roy woke up. Yay! It was a dream and- oh god no..It wasn't a dream! He had passed out in the ambulance. He looked around. There was a group of freaks all gathered around some wierdo in a bed talking about stiches and something called muggles. Whatever. Everyone else seemed completly normal and there were no other traces of magic so this could not possibly be St.Mungos.

Roy sat up and looked around somemore. He reached for a telephone and tried to pick it up. Unfourtunetly, There were bandages wrapped around both of Roys hands, so this proved to be difficult. Roy sighed. Why did he pick up that muffin tray if it was still RED? He didn't even like muffins all that much!

Roy attempted to pick up the telephone again and he managed to hold it by using both hands. Now for the hard part, Dialing the number. Roy decided that he wouldn't be able to dial the number with all these bandages on, so...he used his tongue! The phone tasted like corn but Roy tried to ignore that fact. Eventually, he managed to dial Rizas number.

" Hello Riza here." said a familiar voice from the telephone.

" Riza, do you relize that because you poured hot coffee on me..I am now in the hospital for 3rd degree burns?"

Riza sighed. " Roy, your coffee wasn't THAT hot." she said.

Now, Roy sighed. " Riza, that's not what I mean. Because of you pouring coffee on me...I forgot about..um..my..food...in the oven and it burnt and caught on fire and I burned myself."

Riza rolled her eyes, although Roy couldn't see this.

" Well Roy, I'm sorry you've been having a bad day but I have work to do." she said and hung up.

Roy sighed.It would be Another loooong day in the life of Roy Mustang.