They met in the garden, as usual, the golden light of sunset surrounding them and making them both glow in the ethereal aura of the gods.
He wasn't part of the Æsir, yet his strong bond with them was what made them keep him close, almost like a brother to Odin, and another god among them.
Loki and Sigyn had always been more dependent on each other than the rest of them. Both had come to consider themselves as best friends, maybe even more, for their feelings and their trust was unlike any other seen in the whole pantheon.
He would tell her everything about him, whatever he thought or how much of an outcast he felt sometimes, whereas she would trust him her best and most important secrets. He would teach her his magic, his tricks and his jokes, and she would show him her own ways. They laughed, cried and lived life at its fullest together. They were like one, and everyone else knew about it. Everyone could see how much more there was to the both of them except, of course, those two.
That was why that afternoon no one thought anything about it when Loki told Sigyn to meet him in the gardens, by the fountain, like almost every day.
Except this time it was different.
Loki was nervous, moving and pacing like no one had ever seen him before. He was keeping something, holding back, and when Sigyn saw him like that, she could do nothing but worry about what was wrong. But when he saw her, Loki smiled, bright as the sun, and her concern was wiped away.
"Did you hear about Frigg?" Sigyn blurted as soon as they sat down next to the fountain, too nervous to hear what he had to say. She wasn't ready, not yet.
Loki understood, of course, and he shook his head fervently.
"Tell me everything about it!"
They would always start like that, speaking of everything and nothing at once. Talking about a court affair, about their latest works, and then pranking together the citizens and the mortals.
Yet this time it didn't go that far. As soon as her anxiousness made her run out of words, she dared take a look at him. He seemed as nervous as her, but in other way. It was as if he expected something bad to happen. His expression was distant and sad, and Sigyn couldn't bear it.
"What's wrong, Loki?" she asked finally. He looked at her, trying to tell her everything was fine, everything was always fine with her. But she wouldn't fall for it. "Why did you call me here today?"
Loki sighed.
"I have something to tell you, Sigyn."
She nodded, her heart racing in expectation. She felt him tremble, and her own nervousness increased. What was so wrong or so foreign for the Trickster Loki to not be in the mood to make jokes, to bicker, and instead be trembling?
"Do you remember the first time I came to the pantheon?"
Sigyn half smiled.
"Of course. You told us you were the child of the Giants."
"Yeah…" He frowned. "I might have made that up."
"What?" Her mouth fell open.
"I've been around way before that."
Both of them fell silent, tension heavily hanging between them. Sigyn tried to talk, but was too confused to manage the words. In the end, she settled for something simpler, with a hint of warning in her voice.
"Who are you?"
He smiled bitterly. "They call me Gabriel. The Archangel, Gabriel."
As her eyes widened, he started to tell the story of Gabriel, the man he was supposed to be.
He began from the very start, when, aside from The Empty, there was only light, which was his father, and darkness. With light, came life, and so, came death. And with life, God created the archangels, his most fierce warriors.
"Yeah, that's me," he tried to joke.
Loki -Gabriel- told Sigyn about his brothers, about the angels, about the creation and the dawn of humanity. About his brothers' war and Lucifer being cast out of Heaven. Gabriel told her about how he felt about them, and how he came to fall.
He fell from grace by his own will. He fell to be apart from the war, far away from trouble and family issues. He didn't want to be a part of it, he didn't want to stay and watch his family burn and fight and die. And so, he ran away.
There was so much feeling to his story that Sigyn, despite her own feelings being torn apart by the revelation, felt her own heart break with his suffering. Gabriel had been holding back for so long, hiding all this for millennia, turning himself into the Trickster whose life was all laughs, when it actually was not.
"I went pagan to hide myself from the eyes of Heaven. I ran away, and built my own life, a whole new person in someone else's nest."
Sigyn suddenly wanted to punch something, and missed with all her heart the days of yesterday, when this truth hadn't been yet revealed, and everything was simpler.
"Why are you telling me this?"
As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she flinched. She was being harsh, it was obvious in her voice and her eyes. Gabriel seemed to notice, for he straightened right away, as in defense.
"Because I trust you."
Loki stared as she stood up.
"Lo- Gabriel. I… Really don't know what to say. I just…" She sighed, trying to get something to say. She was holding back the tears and the anger at the same time, yet the knot in her stomach wouldn't go away. "Anyone else would kill you for treason without a doubt."
"I'm hoping you won't do that," Loki said bitterly.
Sigyn didn't know why she was so emotional.
"I'll see you around." She turned her back to him and walked away.
"Sigyn, wait…" She didn't answer.
She sure as hell wasn't crying. Not a drop, no sir. But she couldn't quite put her finger onto what was that tickled her off. All she knew was that whoever he was, after everything he'd done for her, he deserved better than a friend who ran away from his truth.
Still, she needed to think. Her best friend had lied to her all along? The man she had trusted the most for her entire existence? Maybe it hurt so much, she thought, because she wasn't sure that was still the man she secretly loved. Who was he, truly? Was he still the Loki she knew, or did this entire Gabriel thing meant much more? At least, she needed a few gallons of mead.
Gabriel followed her. He stood up after calling her name and extended his arm, as if trying to catch her by the shoulder. But his arm fell slack by his body as he reached her, not wanting to alarm her, and tried to talk to her.
"Sigyn?" he asked to get her attention. She ignored him. "Sigyn, please." he stepped in front of her, and she came to a halt. "Talk to me," Gabriel pleaded, but she wouldn't look at him.
When he slowly and carefully touched her shoulder, she finally moved.
It was a surprise just as it was not. She hit his chest, hard and firm, and it hurt; she was as powerful as he was. But then, after landing the blow, she took one fast step and crushed against him, her face against his shoulder.
Sigyn had barely cried, and now only a few tears were still wet on her cheeks. But still she remained like that, resting against his shoulder, breathing slowly, and tried to think nothing about it when Loki's hands fluttered around her, not knowing what to do. Should he hug her? Was that okay? Would she hit him again if he did, or run away, or would she let herself be embraced?
He never got his answer as she stepped back, leaving him cold, and stared straight into his eyes.
"Why did you never tell me?"
"Because I didn't want you to go away," he answered, quick but sure, as if he had thought about telling her over and over again, and decided against it with that same thought.
"Then… why are you telling me now?"
Now it took longer for him to answer. Loki was hesitant, not because he didn't know what to say, but because he wasn't sure if he should say what he really thought. He was used to concealing his feelings, his thoughts. Hell, he was just a trickster, not someone who did much talking beyond bickering and jokes. Yet Sigyn was different; on her own and with him. And it made him want to be different too. She made Gabriel want to be more him.
Gabriel approached her again, walking into her personal space. She had beautiful eyes; an emerald green he had never seen before. Loki could still remember encountering them for the first time, the gaze of a goddess judging over him, a newcomer who claimed to be the child of the Giants. She had been fierce then, and she had remained like that. Now he put a lock of her hair behind her ear, wanting to have a better sight of those eyes.
"Cause you're way too important and you should know everything about me. Every. Single. Detail."
"Really? And why is that?" she giggled and almost chocked in her own past tears, nervous with his proximity.
"I thought it was obvious."
"Maybe you were wro-"
He interrupted her quickly by leaning down and kissing her softly.
Sigyn was half expecting it, half wishing for it, but that didn't stop her from being completely shocked when he pulled away. Loki was smiling down at her, a wolfish smile on his lips.
"I'm never wrong," He stated, laughing.
"You're wrong quite often," she babbled, catching her breath.
"Sigyn," he whispered, suddenly serious, "you've always been the most important," his eyes seemed so kind, so pure, so earnest. "Would you be my brúðr?" he asked.
For a moment, she felt all the air abandon her. She didn't answer because there was no need. Instead, she grabbed him by the neck and leaned against him to give another –a proper- kiss.
This one was longer, hungrier, yet soft and loving. Sigyn had been almost her entire life waiting for that exact moment, wishing for that same kiss, dreaming about it over and over again. She made it last, she made it be breathtaking, and when she pulled away she was panting and smiling and her cheeks hurt and it was amazing.
"Wife? That's quite possessive. Can't you be my man? It would be great for a change."
"Whatever you say, darling," he laughed, hugging her.
"And here I thought all this was beneath you, Gabriel," she murmured. Sigyn leaned against his chest.
Loki's heart skipped a bit when he heard that name.
This was it, what he had been wishing for the last couple of millennia. To be him, Gabriel, not just a mask, and to be with her.
"Not when it's about you," he said, and he meant it.
They embraced each other in the garden, the golden light of sunset surrounding them and making them both glow in the ethereal aura of the gods. But it wasn't as usual.
His hair was gold, and her eyes were emerald, and the mortals sang songs about the two of them, Loki and Sigyn, until the end of days.
brúðr: ancient norse for bride, wife, woman.