I awoke with a start. Beads of sweat trickled from my brow down the sides of my face; I hadn't had a bad dream for years. Why now then? Feeling disgusting and wet, I pushed the covers aside and crept from my room into the bathroom. I locked the door and turned towards the mirror; I looked terrible. Dark bags illuminated my dead looking eyes, my hair was matted to my head and my shirt was patchy from sweat. I stripped my clothes off quickly and jumped into the shower. Cold water streamed down my back cooling and relaxing my tensed muscles. For some reason I felt angry at myself for having such terrible dreams, I couldn't even bring myself to think about them. 'They will be forgotten soon anyway'. I told myself over and over again.
The next day I felt amazing, like nothing in the world would be able to spoil my fun. Even eating breakfast was done in such a way as to keep the theme of the day alive. (I crunched my cereal in time with the radio). At around 10 am Shaun knocked on the front door looking lively and as high spirited as me. (If you didn't know, he's my boyfriend. At this point, we'd only been dating a month)
"Shaun!" I screamed a little too loudly as I jumped full force into his arms. He struggled a little but caught me anyway.
"Hey there Andy, how are you this fine day" He asked smiling widely. I slipped carefully from his grasp and pulled him inside.
"Oh yes, very good dear. How about you?" I shut the door behind us and pushed him against it. His grin widened ever so slightly as he answered.
"A lot better now that you're with me" I laughed loudly and took his hand, leading him into the lounge room. "Where's Bradie?" He asked as we sat down. I shrugged briefly. (Truth is, I really didn't know. He didn't come home often. We all suspected he had a secret girlfriend or something.) I looked down at my hands for a moment then back up at Shaun. His crystal eyes stared intently into mine sending sharp shivers straight down my spine.
"Andy?" He said, leaning in closer to my face. Our noses touched slightly, intensifying the moment just that little bit more.
"Yes Shaun?" I asked feeling his hot breath on my face, "What is it?" His face grew closer and closer until our mouths were practically on each others. My mouth opened and closed quickly and I moved my head back. A look of almost pain crossed his face and he stood and crossed the room. Anger soon replaced any other emotion, making him nearly impossible to talk to.
"Why won't you ever get close to me?" He yelled through teary eyes. I took in a deep breath and walked quickly towards him. Though he struggled, I took his hands in mine and pulled him close.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't want you to think that I don't love you because I do; I really do. It's just that all of this stuff is new to me, and I… I can't hurt you." Tears had begun to well up in my eyes just the same as in his. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset." I said as I leant my head on his chest.
"You didn't Andy; you just opened my eyes a little bit." Opened his eyes a little bit? What does that mean I wondered looking back up into his eyes?
"What does that mean exactly?" I asked warily expecting the worst possible answer. Shaun just smiled and shook his head.
"Babe, you don't have to be worried. I love you, and that will never change, no matter what happens between us… or doesn't" He looked down after saying his last words. A slight blush coloured his cheeks just visible under his stubble. 'Enough is enough' I said to myself. 'You can't be scared to be with him anymore, you can't be scared to hold him!' I took in a deep breath and reached my hand out towards him. My whole body shook almost violently against the feelings of insecurity and doubt, this moment would be special. It would mean something for the rest of our lives.
I let my fingers trace the side of his face, carefully running them under and over his eyes. He shivered as my finger tips glided longingly over his pink lips. I then stopped to look at him, his body was quivering with excitement and his eyes were closed. As I reached up to take his face in my hands his eyes shot open. They sparkled with what I hoped was lust. Before I could make another move he had me up against the wall, holding me tightly in place with his strong arms. He smiled urgently as he leant forward and pressed my lips to his. Nothing could have prepared me for the feelings that started to rush through me; lust seemed to take over my body as I deepened the fiery passion filled kiss.
My hands travelled all over his body, undressing him like he was a present sent from god. (although I don't think god would approve) The next thing I knew we were both naked and couldn't keep our hands off of each other. I had never experienced anything like it, neither one of us had been able to stop ourselves. It felt like we had become animals that lived to savage each others smooth and inviting bodies. His tongue explored my mouth and mine explored his. Our hands did the same, there was no inch of skin left untouched by either one of us, our bodies had become free temples to explore. I was still backed against the wall and had little to no room to move around which made what I wanted to do just that little bit harder. I reached down towards his penis that was undoubtedly begging for some kind of touch or attention. Just as my finger tips began to stroke his shaft there was a loud knock at the door.
"Andy! I left my keys, let me in!" Bradie yelled from outside. We both panicked then, Bradie didn't know that Shaun and I were dating. Heck! Bradie didn't know that either of us were gay yet. I dressed quickly and headed for the front door, calling out as I went.
"Yes! Bradie you stupid git. Next time don't leave your keys at home". I opened the door and let him in; he headed straight for the lounge room and sat down right next to Shaun, who was now fully dressed and smiling widely. I winked at him and sat down on his other side. 'Well' I thought 'Today was eventful'. I let out a small laugh and stared at Bradie.
"Shaun and I are gonna head up to my room for a while. We have to write some more notes for the guitar solo in the song I wrote last night." I expected him to stare at me weirdly or question my purpose for having Shaun all alone in my bedroom, but he didn't. He simply nodded and turned the TV louder. Something strange was going on with him, something new. I waited a few seconds then stood quickly and left the room. Shaun followed eagerly behind; his expression mimicked exactly what I was feeling inside. Hurt.
Bradie had completely shut down just then, like nothing else mattered but his stupid mind; ticking away in his head. He might have been tired, or stressed or just needed some time alone. But one things for sure… I was worried.
I turned away from Shaun and continued my short journey to my bedroom. Once inside I closed the door behind Shaun and sat down in front of it on the floor. I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath in. I could hear the TV blaring downstairs, something about a murder. I couldn't quite hear it through the door so I chose not to worry. At least it was none of us.
What felt like an hour had passed since I'd first sat down and my back begun to ache. I stood carefully, being careful not to hurt my back even more and walked over to my bed. Shaun lay passed out on one side so I lay on the other and closed my eyes. Eventually my mind shut down and I slipped into a peaceful sleep.
When I awoke the air was soft and cool on my face. Little light came through my window so the room was quite dark. Shaun's arm was wrapped tightly around my waist and his head was in the crook of my neck, his breathing was even and quiet. I wriggled free from his grasp and left him asleep all alone. I made my way downstairs looking for Bradie but found a quickly scribbled note on the lounge. It said:
Andy;
I'm going out I have things to do. I won't be home until tomorrow.
Bradie.
I fell silently onto the lounge and took a deep breath in. 'Alight' I said to myself 'I can handle this'. After a few short minutes of thinking I turned the TV on, trying to take my mind off of things. Once again the news went on and on about multiple murders going on in NSW. For a moment it scared me, after all they were so close to us. But I just brushed it off and told myself there was nothing to worry about, it would all be fine. I shut my eyes for a second and lay back on the couch.
"Whole families have been found dead around their homes without even a sign of a struggle. Police are now calling this the soul-less killer, not a man, not a woman but a demon." A female voice said dully through the television. I sighed, at least my life wasn't as bad as there's; they couldn't be saved now. Once you die, you die. I took another deep breath then stood up deciding to enjoy the rest of my time alone with Shaun. The house was quite dark so I went into the kitchen in search of some candles to spice up the night. I found some small candles in the back and lit them all after setting up a small picnic area on the floor in the lounge. The lights from the candles flickered beautifully casting a romantic glow around the room. Since I couldn't cook to save my life I opened bags of chocolates, candy and chips and placed bowls full on the picnic rug. I stood and admired my work; something was missing…
I unbuttoned my shirt and threw it onto the lounge then with a devilish smile I ran up the stairs and into my bedroom where Shaun quietly slept. He lay sprawled out over the bed, taking up as much as his body would allow.
"Shaun? Shaun baby?" I said, crawling into bed. He groaned loudly and opened his eyes slightly. Smiling I rubbed my hands up the sides of his body and up to his face. A small giggle escaped his throat and his body shook happily in anticipation. "I have a surprise for you, you'll love it. Come on".