The Kids Aren't Alright

Bobby is forced to take shop class instead of taking home economics. But when he meets someone in class who is everything Hank wishes Bobby was, things begin to rift between the family. Meanwhile, Dale enlists both Bill and Luann in his latest alien related escapade.

Disclaimer: I don't own King of the Hill, Mike Judge and those folks at FOX do :)

Chapter one:

It was dinner time at the Hill residence. Peggy had come home a little late from a substitute teaching job at the high school and barely had time to make her famous Spa-Peggy. The pasta was a little under cooked and crunchy, but Hank and Bobby knew better than to say anything. Bobby looked up at his parents ready to tell them about his day, but both seemed rather interested in their dinner. Peggy knew there was something a miss with her food, but she just couldn't pin it down while Hank tried his best to keep his dinner from sounding too crunchy.

"I signed up for my free period class today!" Bobby announced, "You'll be proud to know that I didn't just squander it away on study hall. Instead I'm taking Home Economics!"

Peggy didn't look up from her plate,"You took that last year, honey."

"That's right, son, ya can't take the same class over again unless you fail it and sadly you passed."

"I knew you were gonna say that," Bobby had an excited smile on his face, "The school started a another Home Economics class since so many people wanted to take another one. It's Home Economics 2! Just like a high school class!"

"Yes, Bobby, so many girls wanted to take the class. GIRLS."

"And with your sewing and cooking skills who says you need to anyway?" Peggy asked with a bit of spite.

"Why don't ya take shop, son?"

Bobby sighed, "I don't wanna take shop. All those noisy and dangerous tools everywhere."

"What? That should be a boys reason for taking shop!" said Hank

"But dad--."

"But what, Bobby?" Hank interrupted, "Why can't ya learn some new skills? Some that will be useful to ya."

"But this year we're gonna learn how to make truffles."

"Bobby."

Bobby looked to his mother, but she agreed with her husband, "His right, honey. Making truffles isn't a life skill."

Bobby sighed again and looked down at his food, "I already signed up for the class anyway." he mumbled under his breath.

"Its not like its written in stone. I'll call the school office tomorrow and tell 'em to switch ya out." With that Hank stood up from the table, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go have a beer."

As Hank left Bobby stood up his back slouched as he walked to his room, "I don't feel like dessert."

Once everyone had left the kitchen Peggy realized what was wrong with her dish, "HA! I over cooked the pasta!" she stood up, "Process of elimination! Ho-yeah!"

Hank stepped outside and took his place along side his three neighbors. Bill passed him a beer after he got himself another. Hank took his first sip and sighed heavily.

"No need to be passive aggressive, Hank, we're listening," said Dale.

"Its just Bobby," Hank took another swig of beer, "that boy ain't right."

"What'd he dang ol' do this time, man? Dang ol' puttin' on a fancy dress, yo?" Boomhauer chuckled to himself.

"No," Hank stared at the ground, "He refuses to take shop class."

"What is he? Some kind of a communist?" asked Dale, "Or...extra terrestrial being?

"Wouldn't be surprised if he was some dang ol' alien, man. Talkin' bout them ol' flyin' saucers and whistlin' do dads, dang ol' crazy stuff, man."

"Or just a normal kid with a few inaccuracies." Hank beamed at his friends.

"You said yourself something's wrong with him, Hank." Bill mentioned.

"Well," Hank stopped for a second to think.

"Haha, stumped ya, Hank!" Laughed Dale.

Hank narrowed his eyes, "Shut up, Dale."

"What are you gonna do, Hank?" asked Bill.

"Well, he wants to take Home Economics again, but I told him he has to take shop this year. They got themselves a new teacher and I hear he's getting a new band saw for the class," Hank exhaled, "Maybe he'll learn a thing or two. Heck, maybe he'll even excel if its the right environment."

"Don't get your hopes up, Hank," said Dale, "My Joseph is in that class too and well, being my offspring," Dale stretched his back out a little, "He's bound to do great things. I'm thinking the Gribble family will have a brand new bird feeder by the end of the semester."

"Well, my...oh." Bill forgot, "I don't have a son...or a daughter or a wife....or a dog."

The group was silent for a moment before Boomhauer took a drink of beer, "Mmhmm..."

"Hey, hillbilly neighbor!"

"Oh, god..." Hank muttered as Kahn approached them.

"School start in less than week. Is your son going to be in next grade or did he fail for being big fat redneck?"

"Now that's just uncalled for!" Hank raised his voice and pointed threateningly at Kahn, "My Bobby is no genius, but the boy has some talent...somewhere in him and by god, one day we'll find out what it is."

"Oooh, excuse me! It's just that Kahn Jr. using her free period for college course at Arlen Community College. She taking physics. What Bobby taking? Shop class?"

"Yes, yes, he is." Hank said seriously to which Kahn laughed hysterically walking back to his house.

After he left Dale spoke up, "If Connie's such a genius why isn't she taking a course at a normal college? Only lazy hippies go to Community College."

"Don't worry about it, Dale," Hank explained, "Kahn's just bein' extra obnoxious since Bobby and Connie stopped talkin'."

Bill gasped, "What happened, Hank?"

"Oh, you know," Hank scratched the back of his head, "boys do stupid things when they like a girl."

"True," said Dale, "I remember when I first met Nancy. I did some pretty stupid stuff. She was with this real big guy at the time too. Real muscular, kind of like John Redcorn. Still can't believe I beat that guy out," Dale laughed to himself, "Guess no woman can withstand the ol' Gribble charm."

It went silent again. Boomhauer looked down while Hank shifted his weight and Bill slushed his beer around in the can.

Bobby entered the shop class with reluctance. Not only was he forced to take a class he didn't want to, but none of the kids in the class seemed particularly friendly or too found of prop comedy. Joseph was there, but he seemed busy flirting with some girl in back. Bobby slouched and starred downward holding the straps of his backpack.

"Hey, watch it, kid!" Bobby hadn't been watching where he was going and accidentally ran into another boy who was busy with some wood glue.

Bobby looked up, "Sorry," he said weakly.

"Hey, listen, man, there's a lot of dangerous stuff in here. You gotta watch where your walking or you could really be in a world of hurt, got it?"

"Uh, I guess." Bobby's tone didn't change much.

As he got to a station the teacher walked in. He was new, someone Bobby had never seen before. He looked rather stern with his graying beard and rugged flannel shirt, "All right, everyone sit down. You!" He pointed to the boy who had recently yelled at Bobby, "Marcus, come to the front, please."

Marcus obeyed bringing with him a t-square and pencil. As he made it to the chalk board the teacher put a a hand on his shoulder, "This is Marcus, he is going to help answer any of your questions if I'm not around or too busy. Now, I'm going to divide you up into groups of two so we can start the first exercise. My goal is to have you all acquainted with the basic tools by the end of the week. Now I'll team you up with a veteran of the class for the week if your new and vice versa. All right!" He looked around the room, "Brown hair over there and green shirt you team up. Okay, blue hat, you need to take that off, but your with uh, red shorts over here." The teacher looked over at Bobby who still seemed a bit uncomfortable in his surroundings, "You and..." he looked around and for a brief moment he looked back at Marcus in which Bobby swallowed hard, "Work with striped shirt over there." Bobby looked over at the kid to his left wearing a brown and yellow striped shirt. Walking over to their station he waited for them to introduce themselves, but they were too busy looking through their backpack.

"Hi, I'm Bobby!"

The kid looked up from their books, "Charlie."

"So this your first time in shop class?"

"No, third."

"Neat...I guess."

"Everyone, make sure you have a pair of safety glasses from the cabinet."

"Hey," a smile finally appeared on Bobby's face as he spotted a nearby piece of wood. He balanced it on the back of his hand, "look at this, huh? Huh?" he chuckled.

Charlie laughed a little, "you're funny."

"You must be Bobby Hill," the teacher beamed at the two laughing, "I was informed about your little prop comic routines."

Bobby placed the wood down and took his seat folding his hands and remaining quiet. He could get away with joking around in other classes, but this guy looked like he meant business and the last thing Bobby wanted to do was upset a grizzly looking man like this.

"There are two pieces of wood at your stations. I want one of you to measure and mark your piece off at 1' -3". Then do several more sections with that same measurement. When you're done pass the speed square and tape..." He continued to give the class instructions as Bobby nudged his partner.

"Hey, is this guy always like this?" he asked Charlie.

Charlie smiled, "I don't know, I've never had him before, but he seems pretty uptight, huh?"

"Almost as uptight as my dad."

"Did he make you take this class?"

"Yeah, I wanted to take Home Ec, but--."

Charlie sighed, " my parents almost made me take Home Ec, but I talked 'em out of it."

"Hey! No chitty chat!" yelled the teacher.

Bobby and Charlie swallowed hard and quieted themselves.

"Everyone ready?" the teacher didn't wait for an answer, "Okay, begin!"

Bobby fumbled with his tools. The tape measurer kept sliding back in and the wood wouldn't hold still.

Once he got his measurement he tried to use the tape measurer to mark off a cut mark, but Charlie stopped him.

"Use the speed square, it makes it easier," Charlie grabbed it and handed it to Bobby who positioned the square the wrong way making Charlie laugh a little, "No like this, but don't worry about, I was the same way when I first started. Unfortunately it was Marcus who taught me everything. Try having someone call you pee pants mcsissy when you're just learning how to use a jig saw."

"I have no idea what a jig saw is, but it sounds terrifying."

Bobby rode his bike into the drive way and then backtracked to the fence where his father stood with three of his friends, "Dad! You're not gonna believe what just happened to me today!"

"Slow down, son. They say your never too young to have an aneurysm."

"What is it, Bobby? Ya meet a girl?" asked Dale.

"Didja see Lenore?" asked Bill to which everyone starred at him with narrowed eyes, "I just thought I'd check...I miss her so much."

"Even better!" Bobby threw his arms up into the arm.

"I don't see what could be better than my Lenore." protested Bill.

"My wife's can," said Dale, "No one has a better can than my Nancy."

"Shut up, Dale and let the boy talk before he hyperventilates," Hank looked back to his son, "Go on, Bobby, what happened?."

"Well, as you may know, I had my first shop class today, well I was pretty nervous when I first walked in and there was this kid named Marcus who I think has some real issues, but I'm not gonna get into that right now..."

"Just get on with the dang story," Hank pleaded.

"Well, our teacher is this really scary looking guy who kind of looks like a bear."

At this point in the story Boomhauer chuckled to himself, "Big dang ol' hairy fruit, man. Walkin' around the place like whoa, man. Peaches and cream."

"What are you saying?" Dale yelled.

"Go on, Bobby." urged Hank.

"Okay, so he starts to partner people up and for a minute I thought he was going to pair me up with that Marcus kid, but then he pairs me up with this other kid who happened to be really nice. I actually learned a lot today."

"So basically you made a new friend?" Dale simplified the situation, "You could have just told us that!"

"Yeah," added Bill, "Without gettin' our hopes up!"

"Well, I was trying to set the mood!" Bobby explained arms crossed, "and that really wasn't all."

"Oh god!" cried Dale.

"Nooooo!" moaned Bill.

"Dad," Bobby looked up at Hank his face taking on a look of seriousness, "I think I'm gonna enjoy shop."

"Well, all right, Bobby!" Hank smiled, "Say, what's this boy's name?"

"Charlie," said Bobby, "But, he's not--."

"Go in and tell your mother, I'm sure she'll be excited to here the good news!"

Bobby got excited again, "Right!"

As Bobby ran into the house Hank took a sip of beer and sighed happily to himself, "My boy is enjoying shop class."

a/n: long chapter, but hopefully you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading :)