I'm on a one-week break, and wanted to put something out there, but my idea for a multi-chapter is still not coming together, so you get this. Setting: Eventually.
The dread of receiving that kind of call is exactly what keeps him up at night. Over the years, he has tried his best to keep from inventing nightmare scenarios in his head, but it hardly does any good. It's a fear that everyone who loves a cop has to live with.
But now it isn't just a bad dream. It's real and he cannot stop replying it in his head, trying to understand.
"Hello, Mr. Beckett?"
"Hey Rick, what's up?" He greeted the younger man jovially, despite hearing the hesitation in his voice. With enough coaxing he would eventually learn not to be quite so afraid of him.
"Are you home right now? I, um, really need to talk to you."
It felt like a lead weight had dropped in his stomach. This is more than his usual talking to the father of his girlfriend nervousness. This is—something is wrong. It's all he can do to keep the phone to his ear and choke out "Rick, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I—"
"Just tell me."
"Please, I need to talk to you in person. Can I come over?"
Despite the wavering in Rick voice, Jim had known then he would not be getting any more out of him until they were face to face. So he had given in, relieved to hear he was already on his way.
Still, the time that has passed feels like forever. He has already picked up the phone to call his sponsor three times; each time changing his mind and deciding to wait until he knows.
Nothing.
He tries to take comfort in the word because he would never had said it if she was—God—he didn't even want to think it. Still a million other possibilities flew through his mind. She could be missing, injured, drowning in her mother's case, so many other things. Saying that word had just been a stall tactic so he could break whatever it was to him in person.
He understands the reasoning, tries to accept it, but the waiting is killing him.
Finally the doorbell rings and Jim lurches for the door, jerking it open. He can't even be bothered with pleasantries; he has to know, now.
"Richard Castle you tell me what's wrong with my Katie right now or so help me I will—"
On the other side of the threshold, Castle's eyes widen in shock, his mouth frozen on the first syllable of his lost greeting.
Jim glares as if he could extract an answer just by looking—because seriously he's still not speaking? Instead Castle's features are shifting, his mouth slowly contorting—into a smile? In fact, he's barely keeping from laughing.
"What the hell, Rick?"
The remaining tension in his voice is enough to snap Castle out of it. "Hey, listen," He firmly holds eye contact, understanding the black whole of fatherly panic that is sucking the other man in. "I was serious when I said nothing was wrong. We're not even on a case; she's probably sitting at her desk eating junk food and doing paperwork, Okay?"
"Oh…" Jim can feel the faint heat rising in his cheeks as he realizes how bad he has overreacted. It's an unfortunate side effect of the life he has faced, but he suspects the man across from him knows the feeling all too well. "It's just that on the phone you sounded—"
"I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to scare you. I'm just…" he looks down, lowers his voice because this whole misunderstanding has him feeling even more awkward than he already was, "…a little nervous."
"Nervous?"
"Yes." The word comes out more forcefully than intended, so he pauses a breath before continuing. "Can I come in now, please?"
Finally reassured, the corners of Jim's mouth are starting to turn up as he says, "I was just making a sandwich when you called. You want one?"
Because it seems the polite thing to do Castle responds with a "yeah, sure" despite the fact that his insides are twisting so painfully he cannot imagine he will ever want to eat again. He follows Jim him into the kitchen and is struck by a fresh pang of guilt when he realizes he actually scared the poor man enough to stop him mid-sandwich.
This is so not going the way he wanted it.
He takes up a position across the kitchen island, plants his feet, and tells himself he can do this; everything will be just fine. Jim is still focusing on the food, but he's okay with that. It makes it easier to start.
"Mr. Beckett, I came here today because —"
"Rick, how many times have I told you to call me—"
"No—not today"
Suddenly, it is a huge battle for Jim to keep his smile from broadening because he's finally realized what is going on, and he's pretty sure as a father he's required by law to let Rick squirm for as long as possible.
With a deep breath Castle has to start from the beginning; he meticulously chose each word and it is the only way he will ever get it out.
"Mr. Beckett, I came here today because I am in love with your daughter." Another deep breath. "I am going to ask her to marry me, and it would mean the world to me if you would give your blessing."
"You came to ask for my daughters hand?" Rick can't read anything in the older man's face.
"Uh, yes—well more blessing you since Kate doesn't really…"
God, this man's poker face is insane "that is to say, as an independent woman she doesn't really need permission…"
This is a disaster, he is starting to run out of breath and the man's face is still as carved stone. "but I figured it would be respectful if I—"
Finally, Jim breaks, doubles over laughing with his face red after holding it in. "God Rick, that was some hilarious fumbling."
"Hey, I warned you I was nervous. I've never done this before and you were all—"
"Never done this before? Haven't you been married like five times Rick?"
Wow, that is really not the impression he wants his future father-in-law to have of him. Still, if Jim is anything like his daughter, the truth is his best option. "Only twice, actually. But no, I didn't ask their parents first.'
"Why not?"
He's smirking, great—the man is still playing with him, and he cannot help but notice that technically, Jim has not given him an answer.
"When Meredith told me she was pregnant, I was so terrified, awestruck, amazed at the idea of having a kid that I proposed as soon as I could get my hands on a ring. There was no time for driving upstate to her parents. Then with Gina, it was more of a mutual agreement. I got down on one knee eventually, but we both knew what she would say. It felt like we were too old to be involving our parents in the decision."
"Why now then?" That damn Beckett smirk is still on his face. "Surely you know you haven't gotten any younger."
"Believe me I do, but that's not what's different here."
"What is, then?"
"Kate and I—I want, no, need it to last. So, I'm looking to do things right, but more importantly, I'm looking to build a family."
"A family?"
"Yes, and I am determined to spend the rest of my life with your daughter, no matter what, but it would mean the world to me if you were on board."
Well, then. Jim had been ready to say yes from the beginning. The two of them have built a trust over years of looking out for Kate, but after that defense, he is one hundred per cent sure. "Of course, you'll have my blessing."
"Thank you, sir." Castle extends his hand across the island and Jim grasps it firmly.
"You're good for her Rick, now drop the formalities, and let me get you a sandwich."
"Oh," His faculties are finally starting to return to him now that his task is accomplished and he remembers, "Actually I can't. I told Kate I was meeting Alexis for lunch, so it would be best if I did that."
"Ah yes, good luck then, lord knows my Katie can bust a bad alibi." Jim steps around and leads him towards the door with a hand clasped at his shoulder. "There'll be time for catching up later, I can't wait to here how the famous Richard Castle proposes."
Castle reaches for the door with a grimace. Now he has to figure out how to do that.
Love it, hate it? Please take the time to say it.