DISCLAIMER: I do not own les Miserables. Or what hurts the most. Each belong to their owner.

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me"

The rain fell steadily pittering against the roof distracting me from my work. I sat on the couch listening to the rain fall. I knew the door wouldn't open but I still hoped that Grantaire would walk into our shared apartment. I knew he wouldn't. The flat felt empty ever since R left leaving me alone.

"I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out. I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me!"

A tear trickled down my cheek and falling on to my work smearing the writing. I closed the work and placed it on the coffee table. I imagined Rs feet perched on the table as he sipped a beer aimlessly watching a football game while I worked glancing at my house mate every now and again. More tears ufell soon matching the rhythm of the falling rain. I pretended to be strong for the Amis' sake but I still cried when I thought about Grantaire.

"There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok, but that's not what gets me!"

I wiped the tears off my face, walking to the bathroom I took a few steadying breaths and splashed some cold water on my face before changing and headed to the cafe. I'm ok. I told myself knowing it was a lie.

"What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away."

I stopped walking and ran into an alley falling to the group as a sob built up in my throat. I chastised my self for letting him go. It was an argument, but what else was new, I crossed the line. I watched as his whole world fell apart. He stepped back away from me. Said those simple words that made me question everything. I love you. He said then before walking off. I stood in shock watching him walk away before I could mutter out of my mouth that I loved him. He just walked out.

"And never knowing what could have been. Not seeing that love in you is what I was trying to do."

I dismissed the meeting early that day before running to our shared flat only to find it empty completely void of Grantaire's stuff. I fell to the floor in his room as I silently cried picturing what could have come to be had I seen in him his love for me. Had I seen in me, my love for him.

"It's hard to deal with the pain of loosing you everywhere I go. But I'm doing it"

I stood back up and wiped my face and continued my walk to the cafe.

"It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone"

I plastered a fake smile on my lips and walked in greeting Comberferre with a nod and set about starting the meeting. I looked over my friends, our friends, they laughed and joked but things were different with R gone. Things were... Grim

"Still harder, Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret"

My smile faltered and met Éponines eyes whom smiled a small smile at me. I regretted hurting R and not even she had seen him since and she was his best friend

"But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken"

R was often spoken of. Usually when I wasn't around. My head turned toward the door as the little bell jingled I smiled the first real smile I smiled in a long time. Grantaire stood in the door looking at me. I walked swiftly over to him and placed my lips upon his. That small kiss reflected everything I couldn't bring my mouth to speak. Still unspoken but now communicated. R was back to stay.