How the Edge Got it's Name
This story is not a true representation of the characters in it in any way, shape or form so please don't ban me from the server!
Once upon a time in a land filled with blocks and a severe lack of circles, two men magically appeared in the middle of a field. One was an enderman gentleman in a suit with the name Mr. Datsun floating above his head, and for the sake of this fairy tale he's the prince! The other was a panda that went by the girly name of Uzumi because he was secure in his masculinity, but he's gonna be the princess cause I say so. He was the leader of the group and we all know what leaders are good at…Ordering people around! Which means is basically Princess Uzu's bitc… I mean… knight in shiny enchanted diamond armor.
Now these two gentleblocks were planning on starting their own realm because they were too cool for the real world, so they logged into minecraftia to begin their epic journey.
They had only walked one block when Princess Uzu complained that his feet hurt and ordered Prince Datsun to give him a piggyback for the rest of the way. As they passed through a snow biome Princess Uzu complained about the cold like the drama queen/princess that he was. Datsun shook his head as he stepped onto a patch of grass, which immediately turned the snow into rain, turning Uzu into a wet panda.
The first night led to them trembling from the cold in a small dirt hut, that Datsun built of course, with a single torch to light the 2 by 1 space. Creepers hissed, zombies groaned and skeletons clattered outside. Princess Uzu spent the night hiding behind Datsun and complaining that their shelter was too barbaric.
The night seemed far longer than 10 minutes but the square sun rose on cue and Datsun tore down their humble abode, only to be attacked by a spider! Which isn't nearly as cool as the dragon that princes are supposed to fight, but oh well. Princess Uzu acted out the part of the damsel in distress perfectly by screaming and running. Datsun, meanwhile, proceeded to punch the shi… I mean… spider webs and eyeballs out of the ugly black block.
Datsun heard Uzu's screams cut off with a yelp and a small thump. Datsun sighed as he wiped the spider guts off of his hands and went to find whatever hole Princess Uzumi had fallen into. By the time Datsun got Uzu out of the 2 block deep hole the sun was setting. He pulled out the one torch and the dirt blocks with a sigh as he rebuilt the small safety house. He knew he had to somehow escape the whining of Princess Uzu or he would likely commit suicide by squid.
In the middle of the night Uzu noticed Datsun wasn't moving, just staring at the dirt with wide open eyes, or at least he assumed they were wide open, hard to tell with eyes that glow. Uzu waved a hand in front of his face and got no reaction so he tried shaking the AFK enderman. Still nothing. Uzu smirked as he pulled out a cube marker to draw all over the unsuspecting man. Unfortunately black ink does not show up well on an enderman's black skin so Uzu's diabolical plot was foiled. He threw the marker down in disgust as the sun rose.
Datsun miraculously came back from being AFK and they set off again through a plains biome. An enderman appeared before them, its glowing eyes staring into their souls. Datsun averted his gaze but Uzu just continued to stare as he strolled up to the enderman.
"You look different Datsun, did you go through a growth spurt? You lost the suit too, that's unfortunate."
The real Datsun groaned and grabbed Uzu's arms, dragging him away before he got them killed. As he was leaving he put down a dirt block offering to appease his taller scary brethren.
After many days and nights, which only took about an hour, they came across a deep chasm wear the map was failing to render. Uzu stared down into the abyss that showed the hidden lava lakes and caves. He rubbed his panda chin as he thought, which worried Datsun quite a bit because that usually meant a lot of work for him.
"I've decided. We shall call this place the Edge of Eternity!"
Datsun and Uzu blinked as the map finally rendered and they were left staring at a normal patch of pixilated grass.
"Too late, name has already been decided. Datsun, remember to dig a giant trench so that the name makes sense."
Datsun shook his head as he went to punch a tree. He would need A LOT of shovels.
And they lived happily ever after! Or maybe not so much in Datsun's case which explains why he's always AFK…
The moral of this story is to never listen to what Uzu says or don't write stories while you are bored at work!