Here she was, alone at last, only she'd thought there was suppose to have gone more time. There were suppose to be more memories, laughs and cries. She had wanted her mom to live for her, and she'd known how selfish it sounded, but she just felt like there was suppose to be more. Now here she was, the last of her family, and utterly lost, maybe she should just turn it off?
She was completely and utterly alone, the last of her family and she would be, forever. She felt nothing, but then at the same time she seemed to feel everything. Nothing made sense, even though everything was as simple as it had been yesterday. Her mom was dead, she was wasn't she? She had felt her mother leave her body, and heard the sound from the machine that was suppose to confirm it, she couldn't forget it, but what if everything was just a dream? The worst pain she had ever experienced in her entire life, was coursing through her entire body, and mind. It was everywhere, it was in the hospital room, in her mother's grey cardigan, left in her chair, in her house, in what was suppose to be her home. But not anymore, she couldn't go back to the place where everything begun, as well as ended. Her scent was everywhere, her things where there, everything that symbolised her, was there. But she wasn't, not anymore. Caroline couldn't stop thinking of the last memory her mom had left her, before she passed on. It was suppose to bring her peace "during this difficult time", or so someone had said, she couldn't remember anymore, it was so hard to separate everything. She was lying on Stefan's couch, while everyone else in the living room was sound asleep, spared of the indescribable pain she carried. She couldn't stay still any longer, so much had to be done before she could finish this chapter, and get away. She walked into the kitchen just as Damon threw away another piece of paper, what was he doing? Was he in pain? And who gave him the right after everything he had done since he came back? She was her mom, not his, and she would be damned if he took away this from her as well. "Hey, what are you not writing?" she asked, even though all she wanted to do, was to cause him more pain than hers. "Can you believe your mother trusted me to eulogize her?" he asked, with a bit of a mocking tone in his voice. Then it hit her, he was suppose to talk about her mom, on her funeral, for everyone to hear. She felt her anger continue to build. That wasn't his job, it was hers, just like it was her mom, yet she pressed it down. "That's nice, I guess" she couldn't help but sound a bit doubting, it just came out. Why was she so cruel to him, he couldn't help his pain, nor that her mom was a loss to him to, they were friends. "I think she's trying to teach me a lesson about my own mom", he then said. And she felt a sting of compassion for him, then and there, he'd felt this kind of loss, and pain, and her mom knew that. So she was trying, even in her last moments, to let him make things right, and if her mom could do that, then so could she, for her. "I was suppose to do the eulogy at her funeral" he then said, and suddenly she snapped. "We don't have to share", she then said, a bit too fast. She couldn't help it, she didn't want to talk about what was suppose to come next, about how reality was suppose to hit her, and she were suppose to be happy that she at least could say goodbye now. Because she wasn't and she wouldn't be, there was nothing fair about any of this, and she just couldn't do it, not right now. His only response to that was, "Right". And before she could stop herself she just let it out, "I just mean, today is pretty much gonna to be the worst day of my life, I'm not sure I need to start it all of by bonding with you". And there it was, the anger she'd held within herself for as long as she could remember, and she just wanted to let it all out, but then again, she didn't want to see the collateral damage that she would leave behind. "No offense" she then threw in, hoping it would soften the blow. "Non taken", he said, as if he understood, that she couldn't hold it in. It was basically everywhere. She just had to get out of here, "Great" she then said, before starting to leave, yet hesitated as he started to talk, again. "Hey Blondie", he said, turning towards her. She stopped and slowly turned around, preparing herself for whatever he was gonna come next.
"Today isn't the worst day of your life, today and tomorrow is a cake walk, there is gonna be people around you day in and day out, like they are afraid to leave you alone. The worst day, that's next week, when there is nothing but quiet", and suddenly she couldn't breathe, because of the way that he'd said it, with such certainty, like there was no other option but that. "Just a heads up" he said, with something that could be seen as a person caring, but she doubted it. "Thanks for the tip", she said, before heading for the door, signalling that she'd had enough. Like all of this was enough. And in the other room she heard a quiet voice saying, "Sure, anytime", and she just ignored it, trying to come up with something to occupy herself with, maybe even ease her pain with, somehow.