Title: The Five Times House Told Cameron He Loved Her (And the One Time He Really Meant It)
Author: Alice J. Foster (shipperfey)
Summary: I need you back; in the team, in my life, in there with patients. I need someone who cares, because I'm tired of surrounding myself with apathy.
Spoilers: Sports Medicine, Kids, Need to Know, Informed Consent, Human Error, Wilson's Heart
Word Count (approx.): 1,170
Category/Warnings: romance, angst, Cameron POV
Pairing/Characters: House/Cameron
Written: 05/20/2008
1.
"Do you like monster trucks?" he asked her, and she couldn't quit read him.
"I don't know what they are," she replied awkwardly, afraid he was about to make fun of her.
"Right," he added, surprisingly without judgment. "I got two tickets… Friday night."
She froze for a second, because he couldn't mean what she thought he meant. "You asking me to go with you?" she asked, afraid to give in to the strange feeling in her stomach, like she was in free-fall ride at an amusement park.
"Sure, sounds good," he answered, so completely relaxed that she wondered if Wilson was watching them from somewhere and this was all a bet.
"Like a date?"
"Exactly. Except for the date part," he replied and she froze, unable to breathe because she should be feeling relief and not slight disappointment. "Forget it," he quickly added.
"No, I—I was going to go to the oncology dinner," she began to explain.
"Of course, you have to hear Wilson's lecture," he deduced.
"No, I just found out he cancelled. Like two weeks ago." She felt confused; if he didn't know, then this couldn't be a bet, and if this wasn't a bet, then House really wanted to take her to see some weird event.
2.
"I don't want to interview anyone else."
She stared at him, myriad of emotions filling her slowly. She resorted to his level, using sarcasm as a defense mechanism. "You're interviewing? I thought that you'd just have them send a headshot along with their CV."
A shadow of a smile crossed his face. "Hah, that's good. And why I need you around… to keep me in place."
"I can't come back. I told you that," she tried to explain, even as her resolve began to falter.
"Wasn't listening," he replied, unapologetic as always.
"Right."
"You want me to listen to you more? I can do that," he promised, even though she knew it was an empty promise.
"Right," she repeated, incredulous. "I already accepted a position somewhere else."
"With who?" he asked, curious.
"Yule. At Jefferson."
"Unaccept it," he demanded.
"Why?" she inquired, eyes sharpening.
"Because Yule is boring," he answered, as if that meant anything. "He's pedantic and preachy… because he's short. Because I want you to come back," he finally admitted.
"Not good enough," she pointed out.
"Want more money? A car allowance? Better parking space?" he tried to bribe her, with amenities that would've tempted other doctors; it was a painful reminder that for someone who claimed to know everything about everyone, he didn't really know her.
"Dinner," she proposed, "And not just a meal between two colleagues; a date."
He looked at her, studying her like a bug under a microscope. "You'll come back to work if I go out on a date with you?"
"Yes," she replied, trying to look strong.
"Okay, it's a deal," he conceded, and this time he shook her hand.
It was unsettling at how good she felt underneath all the anxiety.
3.
"Cameron," he called out to get her attention.
She froze, avoiding the disturbing feeling she'd had since he came in; he'd been singing, and she knew he never sang.
"I love you," he said, and she could've laughed except he sounded almost embarrassed about the confession.
She froze, jaw dropping and heart pounding. The swab scraping the inside of her cheek felt strange and foreign, and she didn't understand what happened until he spoke again.
"Get your test results tomorrow."
4.
Tears burned against her face as she sat alone in the chapel.
For once she was glad she didn't believe in a god, because she had enough problems forgiving herself; the pressure of being accountable to a higher authority would be too much for her to handle right now.
"I'm proud of you," he told her as he placed his hand on her shoulder.
Maybe faith wasn't such a bad thing to have, if you put it in the right place.
Then again, she could be wrong.
5.
"Better be naked pictures," he quipped as he saw her letter.
She wasn't in the mood to play his games; not anymore. "My resignation letter," she replied coldly.
He stared at her, surprised, and she couldn't help but feel satisfied.
"I've gotten all I can from this job," she pointed out, because she couldn't take the pain anymore.
"What do you expect me to do?" he asked, defeated. "Break down and apologize? Beg Chase to come back?"
It wasn't about Chase; it had never been about Chase. "No, I expect you to do what you always do. I expect you to make a joke and go on. I expect you to be just fine. I'll miss you."
The last part hadn't been included in her speech in any of the one-hundred times she'd rehearsed it in front of the mirror-- but she didn't regret saying it, because it was the truth.
She walked away, never realizing until much later that something in his eyes had begged her to stay.
6.
"I need you," he informs her as if he were telling her it's raining outside.
She isn't affected by the words like she used to be.
"Cameron, I need you," he repeats, this time like he actually means it.
She hits the switch, turning the light on in the on-call room. She reaches for her scrubs, slipping them back on over her tank top, trying to figure how to react.
"Thirteen's sick—Hadley is sick. She has Huntington's," he explains.
Cameron closes her eyes, because no one deserves to live with that prognosis. "She's displaying symptoms?"
House shakes his head. "Not yet. But she will. I told the others; they didn't even flinch."
"Why do you need me?"
"She's distant; she's completely objective and she's refusing to talk about it."
"You want me to talk to her?"
"No. I need you back; in the team, in my life, in there with patients. I need someone who cares, because I'm tired of surrounding myself with apathy."
She knows something changed when Amber died, but she obviously underestimated how much. "I'm not the same person I used to be," she reminds him.
"There was nothing wrong with the you from before."
Her breath catches in her throat and her heartbeat echoes in her ears. "I thought it wasn't enough for you," she whispers, voice so low she doesn't think he heard her.
House's eyes meet hers as he slowly licks his lips. "You were always enough," he admits. "Come back."
She gets up from the cot and walks over to him wish unsteady legs. He doesn't pull away when her hands reach for his face, and she asks for reassurance.
His lips taste the same, and she's glad at least that hasn't changed.
"Okay?" he asks, between kisses.
She buries her face into his neck as she nods. "Yeah."
"You're still enough, Cameron. You're still the same."
And deep down, so is he.
the end
A/N: Written because I like them the way they are. Not my usual style, and still not sure how I feel about #6, so any constructive criticism is welcome.