As a child, my imagination was never up to par. Everything was always what it was. A box was a box. Not some magical portal into another world. It could not be transformed into a fort or a castle in a sky. It was simply a box.

However, when I lay on my deathbed, my imagination could not be stopped. It could not be stopped from thinking about opportunities past and the opportunities taken away from me due to a shortened life. My mind wandered into a world that I thought could not be - a world in which you and I were more than just partners.

There were so many signs along the way. Our chemistry, so natural in its make up, should not have been ignored for so long.

But it was. And now, given a new lease on life, I was determined to push us forward.

After a prolonged hospital stay, I was quick to return to work. You and Skinner were determined to make me take things easy at first, and for once, I did not object. All I wanted to do was to spend time with you. When the opportunity came up for a team building exercise in Florida, I jumped at the chance and you came along willingly.

"It'd be good for us, Scully," you said with a smirk on your face. "The past few months have been rough and this is a good way to get our feet back on solid ground."

But we were sidetracked in more ways than one. First we were made to travel with two other agents who seemed to come straight up from hell. I swear, Mulder, had I been forced to spend another day with those two, you might be visiting me behind bars right now. I'm beginning to think that Skinner was a bit afraid of having us travel alone after my recovery. Everyone was treading on thin ice, but if I fell - if we fell -

So much for solid ground.

I wanted to woo you that night in your hotel room. I wanted to take a drink of that sleazy motel quality alcohol and fall, Mulder. The look you gave me when I entered your room made me weak in the knees and I thought that something would actually happen. But you were absorbed in that case and for once you pulled FBI protocol right out of my own ass.

Instead, we were on another wild goose chase, this time for - what were they? Mothmen. You were looking for mothmen and I was looking for a chance to tell you how I felt.

I didn't find it, but I tried to open up to you that night in the forest. I asked you if you ever thought about death and asked you about mortality. I talked to you about the injustice of it all - but then, I wasn't really talking about the cancer anymore. That's what it is, Mulder, unjust. It's unjust that I can't tell you how I feel without wanting falling apart.

This detour we're on - I can't take it any longer, Mulder. Sooner or later, we're going to get back onto the main road. Sooner rather than later, I have to push us forward. And once we're on that road, Mulder, I need you to promise me - no more detours.