The First Moment I Knew I Loved You
AN: The characters do not belong to me. This is from a prompt on tumblr from CobertFan1. I hope you enjoy it, thank you ever so much for your prompt. This is a companion piece to my story Hot Cocoa. In it, we see Cora's misery during the first Christmas season at Downton. This prompt allowed me to explore Robert's feelings at this time as he realizes something very important has changed within him.
Robert hated the melancholy expression so often found on Cora's face in the months following their marriage. He knew that he had pursued her for her money, but he also had a genuine fondness for the dark haired blue eyed girl who had elicited sparks in him as they'd danced at many balls during The Season. Even though his mother had hoped he would marry a British girl, Robert was becoming more happy with his choice every day, and it wasn't just because of the money, either.
However, he was terribly shy and the more Cora seemed forlorn, the more Robert wondered if she was so thoroughly unhappy with him or if there was another reason for her sadness. Was she that homesick for America, did she hate living at Downton or was she missing a beau at home? Robert knew that he was not nearly as outwardly expressive to Cora as he wanted to be, but he felt that it was a problem with no solution. Men weren't supposed to be superfluous with their affection. He doubted that even the American men who had wooed Cora before she came to England had been outspoken with their feelings.
As Christmas neared, they had been married almost four months. Cora's constant unhappiness was breaking his heart. The holidays were supposed to be a time of great joy, not tears. Christmas at Downton had always been a spectacular affair as long as Robert could remember. He and Rosamund both had joyous memories of beautifully decorated trees, the way the snow turned Downton into a winter wonderland and receiving lavish presents, the most precious of which was completely intangible. The siblings reveled in the extra time they got to spend with their parents at Christmas.
Since Robert knew that he could not talk with his mother about his concerns over Cora, he turned to the one person whom he was sure could help.
"I think you're in love with her," Rosamund said after Robert confided in her at tea the next day.
"I wouldn't admit this to anyone else," Robert replied, "but you are quite right. How can I show her and not end up rejected? I don't see how she could possibly feel the same way for me. She married me for my title and I married her for her money. It's as simple as that for all outward appearances. But it's not that simple. Not really at all."
"I'm sure she's homesick," Rosamund. "What about getting her a gift that would remind her of home? Or you could do something that might make her feel less isolated. I don't know, maybe something that would remind her of her traditions in America?"
"Mama would never let me live it down," Robert said.
"If you're really in love with Cora, you'll find a way to make her happy and forget what Mama thinks. She'll never approve of Cora no matter what either you or Cora do. I'll help you if you need. When it comes to choosing the right gift, I'll be happy to accompany you to the shops. We should go to London." She took another sip of her tea. "It's getting so chilly, nothing makes one appreciate a hot drink more than a frigid afternoon."
"That's a marvelous idea! Thank you, Rosamund!" Robert felt more hopeful about the situation than he had in months.
"What idea?" Rosamund chuckled.
"Don't Americans drink hot cocoa?" Robert asked. "I can arrange for some of that! It might make her feel at home, mightn't it?"
"Yes, I believe it would," Rosamund grinned. "I'm happy to have helped."
"And can we go to London tomorrow?" He was eager like a little boy with his first crush.
"Yes, that would be nice. I need to do some shopping there anyway, and we can get you, little brother, on the path to a happier marriage."
The next day, Robert and Rosamund boarded the train for London and set off on their quest.
While looking at the display of beautiful pieces at the jeweler, Rosamund pulled her brother aside.
"You should get her a ruby," Rosamund suggested. "Cora looks very nice in red."
Robert felt his face blush as red as all the rubies in the case together as he remembered a nightdress Cora wore in that shade and how it made her look positively illuminated.
"I agree," he told Rosamund before turning to the jeweler and asking to be shown the selection of rubies. After some consideration and Rosamund's advice, he decided on a ruby pendant necklace.
Feeling buoyed by his first purchase, Robert followed Rosamund through the other shops where they found a shawl that matched the pendant.
"Cora would love this!" He smiled and decided to get it for her at once.
Upon returning to Downton, Robert saw that Cora looked as lonely as ever. Suddenly even more shy following the revelation that he was now very much in love with her, Robert was tongue tied but managed a single sentence.
"How are you this evening, Cora?"
She looked at him with her sad eyes. "I'm well, thank you for asking." Then she went back into the library and stared out the window at the falling snow.
Robert was undaunted by her chilly reception to his conversation. He went downstairs and found Beryl, the new kitchen maid and asked her a favor.
"Do you have the ingredients necessary for what Americans call hot cocoa?" He asked softly, not wanting anyone to overhear. This had to be a surprise.
"We do, milord," Beryl said cheerfully. She lowered her voice to maintain his secrecy. "Are you thinking of a surprise for your new bride?"
"I am," Robert confided. "Would it be too soon to serve it in about an hour? I have other surprises to tend to before I'd be ready for it."
"Anytime is good, milord. Just ring for it and I'll have it ready." Beryl smiled at the thought of the lonely girl upstairs getting a special surprise.
"Thank you!" Robert smiled as he ascended the stairs and went to his dressing room to prepare Cora's other surprises. He was truly in love! Surely more attention and affection could win her over!
He approached the library and Cora nearly jumped a foot upon realizing that she was no longer alone. Robert apologized and she accepted it, and they sat down on opposite sofas. An awkward silence filled the room.
"It was my wish that you'd be happy here, Cora."
"I'm sorry," Cora said. "I just miss home and... It's not just one thing, it's so many things."
"I am hoping that I can be of some help in that regard," Robert continued, chastising himself for sounding so formal when he was talking to the woman with whom he had fallen in love. "Happy Early Christmas, Cora. I have some gifts for you. He explained how Rosamund had helped him due to her impeccable taste."
As Cora marveled over how lovely the gifts were, Robert didn't as much hear her words but watched a new sparkle form in her eyes, actual happiness. Inside, he felt nearly giddy with his success. When he fastened the necklace for her, his fingers brushed her warm skin and he felt a tingle run through him from his head to his toes. This must be what it feels like to be in love, he thought.
Next was the other surprise about which he'd spoken to Beryl. When Robert rang the bell. Carson carried in a tray containing hot cocoa for two. "I believe you Americans enjoy hot cocoa at this time of the year?"
At the sight of the hot cocoa, Cora's eyes sparkled even more and she started to talk to him - actually talk to him - about her fond memories of Christmas in America and going ice skating with her brother Harold. Robert could not believe how beautiful she was as she smiled and recounted happy things. It wasn't as if she wasn't beautiful when in a somber mood, but the beauty of this chatty, animated Cora eclipsed all other.
Before they parted, Robert gave Cora what might have been their first real kiss, a tender gesture that told her that he understood and wanted to make things better for her.
The next day, they went ice skating together on a nearby pond. Robert had confided in Cora that he hadn't stated in a long time, but she was enthusiastic to help him learn again. It was mostly successful, but every now and then, they fell to the ice in a joyful heap of arms and legs and skates. It was in these moments that Robert and Cora enjoyed their second, third and fourth real kisses of their marriage, and many more once they returned to the house.
The End