Hey everyone! This is a story I started awhile ago, and kinda left it. Do people like for me to continue this Heya story? Thank you.

I Still Love You (Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi)

Chapter 1.

"Meeting was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control…that is the reason why I love you…because you are my everything."

"Heather!" I was pulled out of my thoughts with the sound of a screaming Taylor.

"God dammit Heather, this is the third time tonight that I haven't been able to get your attention without screaming your name. Where are you in there?" he said, pointing at my head.

I couldn't very well tell him I was thinking of Naya, again, cause he would be so hurt. Taylor is a really good guy and he treats me well, but it wasn't a secret that he and Naya didn't get along, like at all, especially not after he found out about our "thing". That was actually more than just a "thing", it was like the best and happiest relationships I've ever had, until…well until it was no more.

"I'm sorry honey, I'm just really stressed at the moment. Elijah is being whiny and I have to memorize these lines for work tomorrow" I said under an exhausted breath, "and then there's the thing with…Naya" I almost inaudibly said. I could see his face turn from surprised to sad to, yup there it is…anger.

"Naya!" he puffed.

"Taylor please" I tried to plead "You know she's been through hell with all this crap with that rapper dude, and now she's been told to take a break, and has even been written out of the season finale. I just can't help but wonder what is going on with her" I said. It's no secret that Naya and I haven't been on the best of terms since her little scam with that guy. I told her it was a bad idea and it would end badly, but she was so fucking determined to boost her fame that she was prepared to do anything, even "dating" that idiot, and I gave her a piece of my mind. Of course she went off on me, telling me I had no saying in who she was "dating", Santana much, and went storming off before we could both calm down and talk like respectable people about this.

I could see Taylor's demeanor ease up a little. I knew that even though Naya wasn't his favorite person, he wouldn't wish anything bad happening to her.

"Yeah, I read something about that. It's all over the internet. I kinda feel bad for her. No one deserves getting pulled through the mud by the tabloids or by him and his people, not even her" he says while looking me directly in the eye, "Even though I don't think she's all that innocent in this, you know".

And there is was, saying something nice about her and then the "but". I needed to get out of the house.

"Tay…I think I need to go stay at the apartment for the night. I still have a ton of dialogue to read by tomorrow, and besides I have to be at work at 5 am, so it would be easier to just go and stay there for the night" I said while heading over to Elijah to kiss him goodbye.

Taylor was having a day off tomorrow, so he would be taking care off my little munchkin while at work. I could see he wanted to talk about this,but I just wanted to get of there, so I grabbed Eli, blew a raspberry and kissed him.

"Okay big guy, mommy's gotta go now. You be a good boy and have a good time with daddy" I cooed.

Gosh I was gonna miss him, even if it was just for one night, but it wasn't like I had planned on staying at the apartment tonight, it was all a spur of the moment decision, since I needed a break from Taylor, so I did feel a tiny sting in my heart when saying goodbye to Eli.

"Alright, I'm off", I walked over and gave Taylor a peck on the lips, "Don't forget to feed and walk Jenny. And only call me if it's an emergency, I really need to have these lines down by tonight, so no distractions. See you tomorrow night" and I was out the door.

The door closed behind me I started to breath again. This suffocating feeling is really starting to happen too often. I love Taylor, I really do, we've been together since…well on and off since forever really, but yet still together. I've had my fun when "on a break", but getting back together was easy, cause it was safe. I've never been good being single, I don't know, I guess I don't like being alone. But the guys I was dating while away from Taylor was never anything serious, the only serious one was… a woman… Naya. Jesus fucking christ! We should be over this. I SHOULD BE OVER THIS. But being around Naya is so easy, so familiar and so so good, it's home. *crash thump* "ELIJAH!" Taylor's voice boomed. I snapped out of my thoughts and was about to go inside again, but before grabbing the doorknob I decided against it, turned around and walked out to my car, got in, and drove off to my apartment in West Hollywood. I felt something wet on my cheeks, and I realized I was crying. Tears were rolling down, and the road ahead started to get blurry. I had to pull over or some poor person was gonna get rear ended by a Toyota Prius. "What is wrong with you! Get a fucking grin and stop being such a baby" I grumpily said to myself. "Just get to the damn apartment, and THEN you can be all whiny and weird". I drove off again, and this time I made it to the apartment without any other distractions.

Continue? Yay or nay?