AN: So this is it. This is the beginning. This is my very first chapter. Every chapter is going to be inspired by a song and you can listen to it while you are reading it. I guess that it would help you understand the story line better. This chapter's song is Losing Your Memory by Ryan Star. As all of this is said, we can start Blair and Chuck's journey.

Losing Your Memory

The damage is done ,the police are coming too slow now I would have died, I would have loved you all my life. You're losing your memory now.

Blair Waldorf was looking at herself in the mirror. What had she become? She wasn't that strong, determined woman who everybody was used to anymore. She was slowly turning into a total stranger and not just to herself but also to her friends and family and all of this because of him. Because of the only man who knew the game as well as she did, the only person she couldn't let go no matter how badly he hurt her, no matter how deep the cuts he caused were.

There she was looking at a total mess, looking at herself. Her hairband wasn't matching her Luis Vuitton handbag which had simple lines and chic Monogram canvas. Her curls weren't that perfect anymore and her make up was a total mess and yet, she was supposed to be the Blair Waldorf people expected her to be. She was supposed to act like nothing had ever happened, but she was changed, everything was changed. She was sick of losing people, she was sick of her life. She took a sharp breath as she adjusted her flora infinity print silk Gucci dress and her ankle strap from her light bronze metallic leather platforms.

"Blair Waldorf, you can do this!" she said more like trying to convince herself that it was going to end up fine. She slowly closed the door and got out of her house which was more like a mansion. With a vintage look specific to the early 80s but an elegance that was clearly imposed by Blair's perfectionist eyes, the house was one of the most beautiful ones from The Upper East Side. She got out in a rush but she was so tired. She couldn't run on her 5.5" heels despite her clumsy attempts.

She got in the limo that was parked a few streets away from her place.

"Where to miss Waldorf?" her driver asked.

She took a deep breath and replied with a distant voice "To the hospital". "And don't ask questions! Vite, vite!" she added, not letting her driver say a word.

Manhattan had never looked that empty for Blair. People seemed colder, they wanted to fit in. Like it was that easy. She had always been inside, she had always been the one who made the rules, the others played the game. As they passed by the Central Park, she spotted a familiar blonde.

"S!" she shouted as the blonde stopped. She was beautiful. Her long tanned legs were perfectly emphasized by her short black dress. She was Serena van der Woodsen, Blair's best friend ever since the two of them could remember.

"Where are you going, B?" she asked.

"The hospital." Blair answered straight away, knowing that Serena would understand what was happening. S got in the car as soon as soon as she heard her best friend's words. A million questions went through her mind but she just managed to ask "You still love him, huh?"

"Can't imagine the day i won't."

In that moment Serena felt compassion for her friend who was so vulnerable, in a way that Blair Waldorf had never been and yet, there she was, trying to pull a brave look and a forced smile. Serena could read Blair like an open book, she knew what her best friend was capable of and how Blair could not only move mountains but easily lift them. She missed her so much but she couldn't ask questions now, she just needed to be there for her.

They got out of the car. The weather wasn't as pleasant as it used to be. The clouds were gathering on the sky that turned from a bright blue to a dark grey. Blair thought to herself that it was a sign but she ignored it and entered the hospital building. Serena was trying to keep up with her.

"Where is he?" Blair asked afraid of the answer.

Nate, Chuck's best friend was there with everyone Blair used to be so close with. Lilly, Chuck's mother was sitting, wrapped in Rufus' arms kind of shocked to see Blair. Well, everybody seemed to be. Dan was the only one who dared to say something.

"He is in a bad statement, Blair. You cannot see him now."

"I need to!" she added with desperation and need in her voice.

"Tell her Dan.." Serena softly told Dan. She knew that he would listen to her.

"Room 405." Dan replied with an absent voice.

"Thank you." Blair whispered as she headed to the hospital room she was so familiar with.

"How are you feeling? he asked her as his fingers drew circles on her face.

"Well, it could be worse." she replied trying to smile to assure him that she was alright.

"I thought I lost the only thing I cared about. You scared me, Blair."

"I'm fine now, Chuck." she whispered with tears filling her eyes, aware of how close she was to losing him. She started playing with his hair knowing that it would help him calm down.

"I will always love you." he whispered as she held her tighter.

"I will always love you too." she whispered. Her voice was shaking, trying to memorize the moment in her mind and keep it there for as long as it was possible.

She pushed the door open and her voice came out full of emotion and hope, her voice was shaking. "Chuck?" As she took a closer look the tears began to run down her cheeks immediately. Dan was right, she couldn't see him. She had never seen him so vulnerable and harmed. His body was covered in scars. A little scream escaped her lips as she tried to stay on her feet. The mission seemed impossible.

"B-Blair?"

That was when she heard his voice for the first time in months. She couldn't handle it. He was her world and seeing her world so damaged didn't feel right. It didn't seem fair.

"Whatever games you two are playing, it is gonna bring the two of you down. And it's not gonna be pretty or fair. Are you ever playing fair?" Serena asked furiously.

"Welcome back to the Upper East Side, S." Blair laughed content with herself.

"Come on sister, lighten up! It's not like he is not going to come back. He always does." Chuck added smiling full of himself.

"Ugh!" Serena screamed in agony. "I swear, if Dan is not going to forgive me you are gonna pay for it."

"Serena was right. It brought us down."

That was all Blair managed to say before bursting out of the hospital room. She couldn't stand seeing him like this. But she didn't forget what he had done to her, how could she ever forget?

AN: This was it. Hope you enjoyed it and that you guys are determined to read the next chapter. Please leave a review, it would be much appreciated!