What Do You Say?
"So Beckett, you up for another drink?" Castle smiled mischievously and in the dim light of the bar, he knew he was having the exact effect on her that he wanted. He had a heat in his chest that he seriously hoped didn't travel to his face.
She leaned her head closer to the bar and tried to hide her affectionate smile. She noticed Ryan and Espo were heading out and she freaked out inside. She didn't know if she could trust herself with him, especially after having a few drinks in her. But that look in his eyes, that look he had for her, and how much she wanted that look to be on her.
"Sure." She let him see her grin and slammed her hand on the bar. She had already put away a few beers but her tolerance for alcohol was strong and if it didn't turn out to be that way, she knew where it could lead to. That didn't stop her, it pushed her forward.
"What do you say to some shots?" Rick was tempting her and he hoped she couldn't see through him. Couldn't see his ulterior motive behind his eyes. This is what he needed, what they needed.
"Name them." She bit her bottom lip and felt her cheeks flush. Damn him for doing this to her every time. Every time he looked at her with a certain grin, she felt her heart melt for him. She also felt other things burn and yearn for his touch. She knew that nothing good could come of this and yet she pushed on. He chose Gina, not her. He came back to her but he was already taken. The wound was still open, still fresh, but for right now, he was hers, only hers. She let herself believe that right now, she could claim his as hers. She didn't have to share him with anyone and with that rosy flush on his cheeks, she felt good about her chances.
"I'll pick the first round and you can pick the next." He waited and watched her eyes light up. Yes, those eyes, the ones that he loved so much. He saw everything he had ever wanted, ever wants, in those eyes. She held the key to his heart and his forever happiness and she didn't even know it.
"Deal. What's up first?" She hoped her voice sounded sultry and not how she felt inside-like a little girl freaking out after meeting her prince charming. She leaned in just a tad bit closer to him and hoped it had a certain affect on him, the kind she needed him to feel. But if she was being honest with herself, she felt a tad guilty, he wasn't hers-but then, yes just then, he sucked in a breath, she stopped feeling guilty within seconds.
He smiled, his grin reaching his eyes. "Tequila rose for me and the lady." he turned to the bar tender and flashed his black card, the infamous black card.
While his back was turned, she turned on her stool and quickly unbuttoned some of her blouse. She flipped her head over, shaking out her hair. When she turned back to him, he was holding out her shot. She couldn't tell if his grin was from her or from the alcohol but she took it anyway.
"Thanks." She downed her shot, never taking her eyes off of his. She rose her eyebrows to him and watched him return the grin. She smiled and turned to the bar tender. "Cherry bombs and keep them coming."
"What happened to splitting the rounds?"
"These are truth bombs. Ask a question, answer, and down a shot." He hesitated to take the shot from her. She leaned over a little, angling her blouse just right. She reached out and playfully rubbed his arm. "Come on Castle, what are you afraid of-a few confessions?" She laughed because she knew she was getting to him. This was her only chance to find out how he really felt. She just hoped this would go the way she was imagining it would. He took the shot from her and she immediately bit her lip.
"I'll go first." She nibbled her lower lip and took a chance. Now or never. "Why did you get back with Gina?" Her cheeks burned and her insides twisted into insecure knots. She was purely nervous but she had no choice, this was her shot.
"It seemed the only thing I could have." He downed his shot, ending that line of questioning. "My turn." He smiled and watched as the bartender replaced his shot. "Ok, why did you start dating Josh?"
She flashed with bitterness and tried to find the right words to be as vague as he had.
"I needed someone and something that wasn't complicated." She downed her shot and slammed her empty shot glass back on the bar.
His eyes carried sadness, pity. "Did you two breakup?" He attempted to reach out but withdrew his hand before she noticed.
She didn't have to answer but his eyes, she had to tell him. She found herself wanting to open up and be the book he always wanted her to be.
"Last week." She spun her shot in her hand, suddenly doubting her game.
"Kate, I'm so sorry." His hand found hers and he grabbed her tight. He gently stroked his thumb along her hand. He wasn't really sorry, he hated Josh. He was no good for her but he still felt bad that she was hurting.
"It's ok. I wanted it to be more, he was nice. I really liked him but I just wanted to fill that hole." He was suddenly getting closer to her. She welcomed him in.
"I am sorry, I didn't even know. I never meant to hurt you." He leaned further off his stool, trying to embrace her but he hesitated. He didn't want to push this moment till it snapped back in his face.
She needed this, she needed him. She closed the distance. The minute his arms swallowed her, she felt whole again. His arms felt right again. She wanted him but she knew that this was all a trick. He was Gina's not hers. But it felt real, real as it ever could be with him.
"Ok, it's my turn." She waited till they were both back in their seats, a safe distance apart. "What do you want?" She ran her fingers around the rim of her shot and itched for him to answer.
"Specify." His fingers danced along his shot as well.
"Out of life, what do you want?" She let her eyes flicker to his. In them, she got her answer. She had only seen desire in his eyes when he was looking at her, and that only made her thirst for him stronger.
"Utter happiness." His eyes danced along her body until he downed his shot.
She laughed, "Your turn."
"What do you want?" He laughed, clearly enjoying the switch.
"Specify." She threw his word right back at him and leaned forward. She knew that she was giving him the perfect view of her black bra.
"Right now, what do you want?" His face grew serious, he needed the truth, he needed to hear her say what she needed was him.
"To get to simpler answers." There she was again, letting her wall keep him out. That was her chance to say that what she wanted was him. But this was how it had to be. She downed her shots.
"Ok, I'll accept that. Bartender? Two boiler makers in Killians please." He turned back to her and raised his brows.
"I'm not afraid Rick." His name so easily rolled off her tongue that it sent a ping in her chest. It couldn't be that easy, shouldn't be.
"Good," he handed her, her mug, "then drink up Kate." He clinked glasses with her and both of them grinning-they downed their drinks.
She laughed as she slammed down her mug first. She wiped the foam from her lip and-with the alcohol finally seeping through her veins- she let herself and her worries go. She waved her hand for another round and smiled right at Rick. Her cheeks were warm and her eyes were sparkling.
He accepted their mugs but rested his hand on the mouth of her glass. Her lips rested on his hand, the notion not going unnoticed. He took the mug out of her hand and led her to the empty booth in the corner. She didn't know what this meant and she didn't want to let it go to her head. However, she followed him anyway, purposely taking the seat across from him. She didn't trust herself to be too close to him. He flagged down the waitress and she left with the two boiler makers Kate had ordered them.
"I want us to have some memory of the night." The waitress set down two glasses of coke.
"Are you serious? Pop?" Kate watched as he took a big sip. "OK, but why do we need to remember tonight?" She snapped back in surprise when he reached across the table and wove his fingers with hers.
"Because I'm answering you truthfully now. This Kate," he tugged on her hand, "this is what I want." He was all serious, no slurred words mixing up his emotions, no, he was clear headed.
She allowed herself to be in shock for just a blink of her eyes before she slid out of her booth and- took two steps to his side- slid in right next to him, pushing herself into him.
"If we're being honest now…" Her eyes watched her finger run along his chest, while his Adams apple bobbed up and down, "then this is what I really want." And without a second to talk herself out of it, she pulled on his collar, bringing her lips crashing on his. The kiss was more than she imagined.
She tasted the sweet alcohol on his breath and feeling him lean into her-welcoming it- she let everything go. Her tongue toyed with his until he forced himself on her. She moaned as his hands pulled on her now burning skin. She nibbled his lower lip and swallowed his moan. She refused to pull away. She inhaled his oxygen and tugged him even closer. Her mouth opened wider, letting him explore her even more. His lips tugged on hers while his tongue suckled on hers. His hands tried to break free so he could roam her body. That's when he knew he had to end this. When he pulled back, both were panting from lost oxygen.
"Kate, take me to your place, now."
They crashed into her apartment, sending their clothes flying, a trail, leading all the way to her bed. They fell back onto her bed, bare. He lifted her up with one arm and dragged her further up the bed. His mouth never left her skin. When his lips weren't along hers, they were busy exploring her body. He was leaving beautiful little scars along her skin. He nibbled on her neck while she begged to feel him inside her. But he didn't cave in so easily. His mouth found her breasts and her breathing only became more ragged. He suckled a few times before her hips began to beg for him.
He obliged, everything happening in a frenzy. He finally gave her himself-all of- it happening, coming so quickly. They both came at the same time and he fell on top of her but he hadn't had enough of her.
She let him back in, this time he went slower. He made her crave for a release but she enjoyed his dance. His hips lightly rested along hers and his arms held her firm to his chest. His fingers buried themselves in her hair while his lips whispered love letters with every kiss.
Kate stirred in her sleep, allowing herself to wake up. She half expected to see Rick asleep beside her and when she didn't, she thought she had dreamt it all. But she heard a voice, his voice not too far off in the distance. She rubbed her lip and closed her eyes. She relished in the memory of what he did to her body.
She climbed out of bed and tip toed closer so she could eavesdrop. She had no right really, she had no claim on him. He wasn't hers, even if she had been able to claim him as hers, just for a little while, the truth was he chose Gina. Her heart ached at the thought.
"Because Gina, it's not fair to either of us. I didn't chose her, I have no choice of who I fall in love with. But if we're being honest, I'd still choose her. I'm sorry but it's always been Kate. Always." He pulled the phone away and hung up. As he turned around, there she was, naked, staring at him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." She bit her lip and leaned on the door frame.
He set his phone aside and walked straight up to her, reaching up to wrap his hand around her cheek.
"Don't apologize. I should be apologizing to you. I hurt you and made you doubt your instincts. We pretended that we weren't. It's always been that way, you and me."
"So what are you saying?" She looked up at him, a look of innocence clouding her face.
"I plan on it being us, Always. What do you say Kate?" His mouth hovered over hers.
"Always." She slammed her lips on his, choosing her future. Choosing their love.