Sea of Despair, a sailor moon fanfic

Sea of Despair

Rated PG-13

By Sandy Beaches

Author's musings: Hi minna. As you can tell from the title, this isn't exactly going to be a very happy fic. It is rated PG-13 only because of the depression factor. Please don't forget to review this! Thanks!

Disclaimers: Sailor Moon doesn't belong to me. It is property of the wonderful Naoko Takeuchi, however, this story is property of me, so don't take it without permission!

- Blah Blah - denotes thoughts

Serena trudged into the arcade, her pigtails drooping. She sighed heavily and plopped down into the last both.

Andrew, who was standing behind the counter, gazed worriedly at her. All week, Serena had been acting strangely, and each day, she was looking more and more depressed. He threw the rag he was holding down on the counter, and slid into the booth, sitting across from her.

"Hey Serena!" Andrew chirped brightly.

Serena lifted her head up slightly and glared.

"Hi Andrew," Serena mumbled before putting her head down on her crossed arms.

Andrew frowned. It was the same thing everyday: Serena would come in, and just sit there. Not even Darien's daily taunts and teases would faze her.

The sliding glass doors opened again, and Darien stepped through, his gaze immediately falling on Serena. Andrew caught Darien's eye, and shook his head. Darien sauntered over and sat down beside Andrew in the booth.

Putting on a bright smile, Darien said, "Hey there, Serena!" He thought that maybe, just maybe she might perk up if he used her real name.

Serena didn't even bother lifting her head. "What do you want, Darien?" Her crossed arms muffled her curt reply.

Darien's smiled faded into a frown. This was so unlike Serena. Her normally bubbly and happy attitude had been replaced by one that was far darker, and frankly, Darien was worried about her. Even though they fought constantly, Darien considered Serena one of his good friends, and he couldn't stand seeing her like this.

"Serena. I'm worried about you. What's wrong?" Darien asked, concern evident in his tone.

Serena lifted her head up, and looked Darien straight in the eye, her own eyes brimming with tears. "You wouldn't understand what's wrong with me. No one understands me," she spat coldly and stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow, maybe."

Serena, with drooping pigtails and all, disappeared out of the arcade doors and onto the street.

***

Serena walked the streets of downtown Tokyo, tears trailing unchecked down her cheeks. She ignored the worried stares from the people passing, and continued towards her destination, the park.

Upon reaching the park, Serena sat down on a bench and let her thoughts take over.

- No one needs me. Who would care if I died? No one, not a single soul. Rei, Ami, Lita, and Mina would do just fine without me. They have each other, so there's no need for me. And I'm very certain that Sailor Moon would not be missed. They only view her, me, as a disappointment in battle. No one loves me. My parents have Sammy, and I'm sure they could get along just fine without a failure like me. I'm such a failure at everything. I can't even pass a test at school, let alone walk down the street without having a klutz attack. I'm never going to amount to anything. I should just end my life, right here, right now. -

Serena buried her head in her hands, and sobbed uncontrollably. Her thoughts frightened her. – How can I think those things? My friends and family love me! And yet, why do I feel so alone, so unloved, so unneeded? –

A deep, familiar voice snapped her back into reality. "Is this seat taken?"

Serena looked up to find Darien's concerned face gazing down on her. "Um, no go ahead and sit down."

Sitting down, Darien asked, "So Serena, what's really wrong?"

Suddenly, Serena's hands became very interesting, and she stared down at them. "It-it's nothing," she stammered.

Darien smiled slightly. "If it's bothering you, then it's something."

Serena glanced up at him, surprised. "Darien, since when did you start caring about my well-being? I mean, just yesterday you were calling me Meatball Head, and now you suddenly care?"

Darien sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Serena, I'm so sorry I ever teased you, it was a big mistake on my part. And I truly want us to be friends. I'm concerned about you because I consider you one of my close friends. In fact, I look to you for inspiration."

Serena's eyes widened. "Why's that?"

"Well, you're always happy, caring, and loving. I'm jealous of you, Serena. You have so many friends that care, and you have a family that loves and supports you. I'll never have those things. But lately, you've been so unlike yourself, and I'm concerned."

Serena smiled slightly and stood up. "Look, I'd better get going. I don't want to be late for dinner. Thanks Darien, whether you know it or not, you really cheered me up."

Darien stood also, and resisted the urge to pull her into his embrace. "That's good. And that smile better be on your face when I see you tomorrow at the arcade!"

Serena giggled. "I'll try. Bye and thanks again!" She turned and walked away, leaving Darien to wonder exactly what he did to put her in a better mood.

***

When Serena arrived home, she ran up to her room where a very angry Luna was waiting for her.

"Serena! Whey did you attend the Senshi meeting at the shrine?"

Serena's face fell. In her depression, she had completely forgotten that they were supposed to meet after school. "Luna, I forgot. I'm sorry, but…"

Luna scowled, and interrupted Serena before she even had a chance to explain her absence. "Save it, Serena! You're just too irresponsible! You're going to have to learn to grow up!"

Serena shook her head. "Luna, you don't understand! Give me a chance to explain!"

"No, Serena, you're the one who doesn't understand. If you don't get your act together, you may not be Sailor Moon for much longer. There's another meeting tomorrow at the shrine, and if you're not her, then it's all over!"

Serena choked back a sob. How could they do this to her?! She was Sailor Moon, their leader and friend! Her friends and fellow Senshi had betrayed her. She knew what she had to do, and her decision pained her. But it was her only choice!

Serena turned to face Luna. "You know, I'm probably not going to make it to that meeting tomorrow. So, I'm just going to resign my position as Sailor Moon before you have a chance to fire me." Serena calmly removed her brooch from her school uniform, threw it on the floor, and walked out of her room, leaving a stunned Luna in her wake.

***

Serena ran in the darkness to the park, blinded by the tears that were cascading down her face. – How could y friends betray me like that? I guess I was right; they really don't need be around. Well, I'll show them what it's like without me!"

Once she reached the docks surrounding Tokyo bay, Serena stopped running. She paused to catch her breath for a few moments before walking out to the edge of the closest dock.

Serena hesitated for a minute, unsure of her decision. Was she making the right choice, was this the only option? She nodded, then plunged herself into the darkness of the water.

***

Darien was jogging through the park, as he usually did every night, when he thought he saw Serena running down to the Bay. Because of her earlier behavior, Darien decided to follow her and make sure she was all right.

When he got down to the docks, Serena was nowhere to be found. Darien gazed over the water's surface, and he thought he saw a small hand fly up to the top. Wasting no time, Darien kicked his shoes off and dove into the water.

***

Serena's lungs were burning. They longing for the precious life-giving oxygen that she was denying them. Serena could feel herself fading, and fast. She knew it wouldn't be much longer now. – I'm sorry, Darien. I guess you won't be able to see my smile tomorrow after all. –

***

Darien quickly found Serena's body sinking to the bottom of the Bay. He wrapped his strong arms around her narrow waist and brought her limp body to the surface. He towed her over to the shore and gently laid her down.

He checked her pulse, finding it to be faint, but steady, but she wasn't breathing. Darien tipped her head back, pinched her nose, and covered her mouth with his. He let out a breath and listened to see if she was breathing yet. She wasn't, and he repeated the steps again. "Dammit! Come on, Serena, breathe!"

Suddenly, Serena sat up, and coughed violently, water spewing out of her mouth.

Darien stared down at her, saying nothing. Then he finally broke the uneasy silence. "I'm hoping to God that you fell in," he said softly.

Serena's eyes filled with tears, and she looked away without replying.

"Well, you're going to catch your death of a cold if you don't get out of those wet clothes," Darien said, as he picked Serena up princess-style.

Serena looked at him with pleading eyes. "Please, don't take me home right now. I can't go back there."

"Did you get into a fight with your parents?" Darien asked, wondering if a fight with her parents would cause her to attempt suicide.

"Yeah, sorta." Well, she had gotten into a fight with Luna, and Luna was just like her mother, so it really wasn't a lie.

Darien sighed. "Alright, I guess I can take you to my apartment then."

Serena nodded, then snuggled into his shoulder. She felt so safe in his arms, like nothing could ever harm her. A few moments later, Serena had fallen into a deep sleep, cradled in the arms of her savior.