Hey guys, Jacob here! I'm highly certain that this is going to be another AvengeTexts: A crazy idea that I turn out to love writing. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Lee Kirby University.
Oh, and spoilers for Star Wars Episode 7. You'll see why.
Steve Rogers awoke in room, where an imposing man with dark skin and an eyepatch, a red headed girl, and a blonde boy were watching over him.
"Good to see you awake, Captain. My name is Nick Fury. Director of SHIELD. This is Agent Natasha Romanoff and Agent Clint Barton, my best and youngest agents." The man said
"Where am I?" Steve asked
"You're in New York, Captain. You've been asleep for 70 years." Fury explained to the confused soldier.
"How?" Steve asked
"We think it was a combination of the Super Soldier Serum and the ice. It stopped you from aging or dying." Natasha guessed
"Peggy? Bucky?" Steve asked
"Alive. Peggy is 87. Bucky was frozen along with you. He got it worse, though. He lost his left arm." Fury said
"Does he know?" Steve asked
"He woke up 3 days ago. We explained the situation to him. Our top engineers made him a new metal arm." Fury explained
"Did we win?" Steve asked
"We did. Not long after you went into the ice, Germany surrendered. Hitler shot himself. Red Skull died on the plane at the hands of the Tesseract." Clint said
"So Buck and I didn't almost die for nothing." Steve smiled
"Agent Romanoff will be helping you get used to the modern world. You'll be joining the rest of the young SHIELD agents and superheroes at Lee Kirby University in 2 weeks." Fury explained
"Lee and Kirby? The founders of the SSR?" Steve asked
"Correct. They also helped found SHIELD after you and Bucky went in the ice." Fury said
"Who's helping Bucky?" Steve asked
"Another one of SHIELD's best agents. Her name is Daisy Johnson. She was supervising him when he woke up. They kind of hit it off." Clint said with a grin. He and Fury then left the room, leaving Natasha alone with Steve.
"So where do you want to start?" Natasha asked
"Crash course in 70 years of History?" Steve suggested as he stood up. Natasha gulped at his perfect body.
"May-Maybe some clothes." Natasha struggled to get out.
'Damn, he's a specimen. Stay professional, Natasha. Head out of the gutter.' Natasha thought
Steve sat in the passenger seat of Natasha's Corvette, wearing a tight blue collared shirt, jeans, and running shoes. Natasha's eyes kept darting over to the Super Soldier.
'Damn it, Romanoff. Why's you get him such a tight shirt? Focus on the road.
Steve sat in the passenger seat of Natasha's Corvette, wearing a tight blue collared shirt, jeans, and running shoes. Natasha's eyes kept darting over to the Super Soldier.
'Damn it, Romanoff. Why's you get him such a tight shirt? Focus on the road. It doesn't matter that he is exactly your type. Smartass, Badass, and Great A**. Stay professional, Natasha.' Natasha thought.
"So where are we going?" Steve asked, snapping Natasha out of her trance.
"My apartment. Not exactly a luxury hotel, but it's nicer than any SHIELD facility. And it's home." Natasha said as the two arrived. The building that Natasha's apartment was in was an unassuming brown building.
"You know, I'm pretty sure I passed this building on my way to school while it was being built." Steve said
"Makes sense. It was built in 1936." Natasha replied
"Do you know anyone else in this building?" Steve asked
"Yeah. My neighbors are pretty cool. I actually live next to Daisy. Bucky's staying with her so you guys can hang out. My other neighbours are twins and their significant others. Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. Fair warning: Wanda's boyfriend will surprise you." Natasha laughed
Bucky and Daisy were sitting in Daisy's apartment when the hacker's phone buzzed.
"Who is it?" Bucky asked
"Fury. He says that Steve's awake and living with Natasha!" Daisy squealed loudly.
"What!" Bucky exclaimed
"Yeah! Apparently he woke up around two hours ago!" Daisy smiled
"Awesome! Let's go see him after lunch! What do you want to have?" Bucky asked
"I don't know. What do you want to have?" Daisy asked
"I kind of just feel like having toast." Bucky suggested
"I'll operate the toaster this time. Remember what happened the first time you tried to use it?" Daisy deadpanned
Bucky was still getting used to the modern world. In all fairness, it was only his second day. He still wanted to thank Daisy. She took him in and gave him a roof to live under. She also was teaching him about technology. She mentioned that her favourite food was eggs on toast, so he decided to try and make her some. He put the bread in the toaster, and pushed it down. When it was done, he tried to grab the toast with his metal hand by putting it in the bread slot and was promptly shocked, followed by the toaster exploding. Daisy then entered the room and saw Bucky blinking rapidly on the floor and the destroyed toaster.
"Bucky, remember what I said about metal and kitchen appliances?" Daisy sighed
"My bad..." Bucky groaned
Bucky laughed at his incompetence when it came to the toaster.
"I have an idea: We throw a party for you and Steve. We'll invite Wanda, Vision, Pietro, and Betsy. Watch movies. Watch as Natasha and Steve drink us under the table." Daisy suggested
"Sure. Why not?" Bucky said
Everyone arrived at Daisy's apartment for the party. The group were trying to decide on what movie to see and drinking.
"Ok, what about Star Wars?" Daisy asked before sipping her beer.
"What's Star Wars?" Betsy asked
"Wait, what? Are you messing with me? You've never seen Star Wars?" Daisy choked
"Never had a TV growing up. Parents didn't let me watch movies, either." The purple haired girl said
"Anyone else?" Natasha asked
"Pietro and I never watched American movies growing up." Wanda said
"I was created not too long ago." Vision said
"And I know the fossils haven't seen it. Ok, we're watching Star Wars IV-VII!" Daisy yelled
"What about I-III?" Vision asked
"They sucked. Except maybe Episode III. We can watch it some other time like a prequel." Natasha deadpanned
Han Solo: It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.
"Isn't a parsec a measure of distance?" Vision asked
"Yeah. He did the 18 parsec Kessel Run in 12 parsecs by taking a more dangerous route." Daisy answered
Darth Vader: What?
Han Solo: YAHOOO!
Tie Fighter pilot: Look out!
Han Solo: You're all clear, kid, now let's blow this thing and go home!
"Holy crap! Han came back!" Pietro yelled
"Yep!" Daisy laughed
Princess Leia: Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder!
Han Solo: Who's scruffy-looking?
"Nerf Herder?" Wanda laughed as Steve downed another beer.
"Dude, that's your 37th! How are you not wasted?" Betsy asked
"Guys, quiet." Natasha chastised
Princess Leia: I love you.
Han Solo: I know.
"No! Han!" Betsy yelled
Darth Vader: Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.
Luke: I'll never join you!
Darth Vader: If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Darth Vader: No. I am your father.
"HOLY SHIT!" Pietro yelled
"His FATHER!" Wanda did a spit take
"Didn't see that coming!" Betsy gasped
"WHAT?" Vision yelled
"He has to be lying!" Bucky yelled
"Agreed! This... Is... Not... True..." Steve sputtered. Natasha and Daisy then shared a knowing look
Luke: Master Yoda... is Darth Vader my father?
Yoda: Rest I need. Yes. Rest.
Luke: Yoda, I must know. If you know, tell me.
Yoda: Your father he is.
"Vader wasn't lying!" Steve's jaw dropped
Admiral Ackbar: It's a trap!
"Why is that so funny?" Bucky laughed
"Because it is!" Daisy laughed
"Probably because... IT'S A LAUGH!" Pietro yelled
"Just... Just no." Natasha sighed
Luke: I'll not leave you here. I've got to save you.
Anakin: You already have, Luke
"This hurts." Steve said
"I know." Natasha said
Han Solo: Chewie, we're home.
"Fuck yes!" Pietro yelled
Rey: This is the ship that made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs?
Han Solo: TWELVE!
Han Solo: Fourteen...
"Well, he's not wrong." Vision said
Rey: You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.
Stormtrooper JB-007: What did you say?
Rey: You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.
Stormtrooper JB-007: I will tighten these restraints, scavenger scum!
Rey: You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.
Stormtrooper JB-007: I will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.
Rey: And you will drop your weapon.
Stormtrooper JB-007: And I'll drop my weapon.
"That's the same thing Obi-Wan did!" Wanda yelled
"Yep." Daisy replied
Supreme Leader Snoke: There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?
Kylo Ren: Yes.
Supreme Leader Snoke: The dark side, and the light. The droid you seek is aboard the Millennium Falcon in the hands of your father, Han... Solo.
"His father is Han Solo!" Steve sputtered. Pietro and Betsy both did a spit take.
Kylo Ren: I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?
Han Solo: Yes. Anything.
"No, don't do it!" Steve yelled
"Is he going to?" Bucky asked
"No! Han!" Betsy yelled
Kylo Ren: That lightsaber belongs to me!
Finn: Come and get it!
"Why do I get that feeling he's about to get his ass kicked?" Pietro asked
Kylo Ren: Wait! I can show you the power of the Dark Side!
"I think she considered it!" Bucky sputtered
"All things considered, I think we all might have." Natasha nodded.
The movie concluded with Rey and Luke, which caused applause from the students watching.
"Alright, that was great. But now I'm going to break out the serious stuff." Daisy said as she pulled out a large bottle of a dark blue drink.
"What's that?" Vision asked
"Korbanite Wine. Make in huge quantities on Beta Ray Bill's home planet. Unlike most of his species, he doesn't drink. So when ever his parents, who own a winery, send him some, he gives it to me or Thor." Daisy explained
"Is it good?" Steve asked
"Fuck yes!" Daisy said
"Is it stronger than Russian Vodka?" Natasha asked
"A lot. I was completely sober the first time I tried it, and after one shot I was passed out." Daisy laughed
"So if doesn't work on the Super Soldier Serum, nothing will." Steve laughed
"Yep." Daisy said as she poured shot glasses for the group. Betsy, Wanda, and Pietro went down first after one glass. Daisy, Bucky and Vision followed after two. It came down to Natasha and Steve, but the two kept taking shots.
"That's five." The spy said
"Yep." Steve replied as the two took another shot. Natasha was finally showing signs of being drunk.
"You know, you're a specimen." Natasha laughed before taking another drink.
"Thanks." Steve laughed before downing his sixth shot. Natasha put down her seventh and tried to kiss Steve.
"What's wrong?" Natasha asked before yawning
"Natasha, you're drunk." Steve said
"You're sexy!" Natasha laughed before passing out.
"Wow, this stuff is strong. I need to meet this Beta Ray Bill guy." Steve said before downing the rest of the bottle. He then carried Vision and Wanda back to their apartment, before making a second trip for Pietro and Betsy. He set them in their beds, and returned to Daisy's. He put Bucky and Daisy in their beds, and patted Bucky's metal arm before turning off the lights and carrying Natasha home. He turned off Wanda and Pietro's lights before entering Natasha's apartment. He stroked the spy's head before kissing her forehead and went to sleep on the couch.
Did you guys like it? If so, please review! Thanks to MarvelIsMyLife for helping me write!